September 2006 babies

[Lysettes]

Start of our september 2006 post natal thread!

Hi All, great to read all messages and not feel alone and bewildered! Can't believe I have already raised one child (dd now 8.5.) Feel like a new mum! To AngeandLuka, it's not really that I'm looking for a routine as such, just a few pointers re: what time do I put ds upstairs 4 nap as opposed to in moses basket downstairs to establish evening? Also, do you mums generally do all feeds after a certain time of day in bedroom in quiet? Shd I make bedtime 10pm and then gradually earlier according to ds's needs?Evenings are ds's cranky time usually (though have thusfar avoided colic) . Just cannot recall wot I did with dd as she seemed so much more predictable. Defo don't want to be doing strict routine - just gently easing into one. BUT HOW?! [HMM]

Forgot to say... at 6wk weigh in last week, ds was 11.12oz and defo seems to be going much longer between feeds at nighttime so maybe the 12lb theory is right - fingers crossed .
Has started to go about 10pm to around 4.30am - yipee!!!!

Sorry, me again! . When ds wakes at around 6.30 or 7am, shd I get up to indicate start of day or shd I take advantage if he is sleepy and get some rest? It's half term at mo and so tempting to have a lie-in.

I am not sure whether the 12lb thing is right or not. DS2 weighed 12lb7oz at last weigh in, but my problem is he feeds at about 9 - 9.30pm, so although going 6 or 7 or 7 hours , it's only taking us through til 3 or 4 in the morning. I just can't wake him to take a later feed. Once he's asleep at night - that's it!
Thanks for the support Cori - glad it's not just me .... I have started to womder in the last few weeks if there's something 'wrong' with DS his behaviour is so bad... that's awful of me isn't it..?

Cruisemum - according to She Who Must Not Be Mentioned, you should aim to start the day at 7 as that means if you are feeding roughly 3 hourly you can cram enough feeds in during the day, so that they will go longer at night

That sounds like good advice Mabel1973. He generally wants a feed about 6ish so I guess I should heave myself out of bed after that. Groan....

Mabel, just wanted to let you know that DS is exactly the same here. He is like a different child since Lizzie was born. He shouts and screams at me and his tantrums are awful. He wont go to sleep and he says no to everything unless it's something I've said no to, then he says yes over and over. He's at his worse when I'm BF as he tries to shove her off me to sit on my lap.
I've even considered sending him to nursery just for a break. He's not due to start until next Sept but I don't think I can stay sane that long. I really hope it improves soon.

Hi Angeandluka! The BF/FF thing really needs to be a personal choice. We all know that breast is best but only if it's also best for mum. There's no point in being a martyr when you're crying in pain and resenting your baby. Apart from the health benefits to baby, my reasons for BF are pure laziness; ie I can't be bothered to get up in the night and I'm grateful for the extra calories it uses up. I don't think you'll find anyone on this thread who's a militant B'Feeder.

Hi to everyone else!

That's been one of the really nice things about our threads - no militants!

Homemama - I'm starting DS1 at a nursery one morning a week as of next week when he turns 2, partly for me but mostly for him, he's the sort of child that thrives on socialising with others. I realise we're in different situations and my DS has been used to going to a nursery before I had DS2 but if you do decide to send yours to a nursery please don't see it as a bad thing - he'd probably really enjoy it and benefit from it (and you'd get a break - but that's a bonus, not a reason IYSWIM)

Cori - how many sessions of cranial osteopathy did Jack have and what did they do to him? I don't think DS2 needs it btw but I'm just curious - you seem to hear a lot about it these days.

Cruisemum - sounds like the baby whisperer book would be good for you, from what I've heard it's not about rigid routines but finding a pattern that suits you - a bit more 'fluffy' that you know who's methods but still useful!

Homemama, I second Liquid ...DS1 (3 years old) is going to school 3 mornings a week and I can tell he really looks forward to it - it's a break for him and me. He's been very high-maintenance lately. We started him in others' care at my gym for 2 hours/day when he was 2 months old, so he's always been going somewhere. That might have helped with separation anxiety, as he's never had any. As soon as DS2 is 2 months, he'll be joining his brother 2 mornings a week at same preschool (it offers Moms' Day Out for babies). While sometimes I feel a bit guilty at leaving him so young, I really believe it'll be good for him in the long run. Not to mention for me - DH found me crying when he got home yesterday, was so overwhelmed - and that's on ADs!

Marls - my DS1 has never had any separation anxiety problems either and I think it's been a great for him in terms of building confidence/social skills/autonomy etc. DS2 will be starting nursery the 2nd week in the new year so hopefully he'll be the same - though already I'm getting the feeling he's going to be a quieter character! We'll have to wait and see...

Sorry to hear about the tears hope you're feeling ok at least most of the time.

Homemama - I think the best thing for me about DS being at nursery has been that DH and I can have a day's annual leave together and go out and do 'couply' things - lunch, coffee etc. - sometimes it's felt like going on a 'date' - it's easy to lose sight of the fact you're still a couple as well as parents and those times together during the day have served to remind us. Evenings out are nice but invariably they're short and we're both knackered!

morning everyone.
I need some support ladies - feel very teary this monring.
we had a bad night last night again. Freddie fed at 3.30am this morning, then I was up from then onwards coughing, which woke up DS1 at about 4.45am. he came in our bed, I went with Fred into his room to sleep on the very uncomfortable sofa bed. Feddie then decided he was hungry again at about 5.30am, DH had to get up at 6am to leave for a conference in Birmingham and I am so tired!!! I can't find either of Freddies newborn dummies, DS has bitten his nose this morning, I sat him on the step and shut the door for a minute as punishment, so he threw his juice at the door, the top came off and went all over the floor - that was just the final straw and I just burst in to tears.
Freddie is now asleep and I'm ashamed to say DS is plugged in to Beebies - so I came on here to vent my spleen - and I feel so much better - so thank you for listening

I have missed so much over the past few days!!!

We have been busy as DP off from work as its half term, so we have been visiting friends and making sure DD gets to do lots so she hasn't felt too left out with B wanting me more now he's getting a little older and fed up with just sitting in his chair.

The night is getting better, just one feed between 3:30 and 4am from about 10pm but he wants to be inbed with me though, but I do get sleep

Sorry to hear you're having a bad time today mabel, hope it gets better soon. [hugs]

mabel - big hugs! We all have times like that and it's horrible but things will improve. Don't feel bad about sticking cbeebies on - that's what it's for - us mummies who need a break from time to time!

(DS1 likes it when I BF DS2 coz he knows he's going to get to watch the telly! )

Hi all

Just a quick post as Georgia is asleep so I'm trying to catch up with posts/emails etc. Georgia is now 9 lb 1 and a 1/2 ounces. She's still sleeping through and is just amazing!

My ex is still being horrid, although thankfully he's only contacting my solicitor now. It's so hurtful though and I'm finding things very hard to deal with and pretty lonely. I went to a post-natal group yesterday where they did Georgia's 6 week check but they weren't very friendly. I will probably try them again in a few weeks.

Hope everyone else is ok and LO's doing well.

FFS..I've just written a message & I've somehow deleted it...aarrgggghhh...anyhow let's try again (how annoying is that when time is precious!!!)

Mabel, don't worry! Thank goodness for MN I say. Our DD is really testing us at present - taking longer to get into bed at night, more tantrums & strops...makes a fuss if Daddy trys to cuddle Jack etc. Last night she was a nightmare again & I just ignored her..it passed but you can't help but feel guilty. It's got to be hard for them if they've had the sole attention for two years but we all have to adjust don't we? As for CBeebies, chill my love! DD has never been allowed to watch much TV but I'm not ashamed to say that since Jack was born we've relied on it that bit more especially at 6pm when it's Fifi & the bloody(!)flowertots..which she loves & drives me mad especially at night when I find myself humming the signature tune..)

Homemama, DD has been at nursery 3 days a week since she was 5 months as I had to work FT. Since Jack has been born we've kept to the same routine & she continues to go her normal 3 days a week - for all our sanity! It's almost her second home, she loves it & allows me to bond & be with Jack on my own & also get stuff done (if he let's me..) Don't feel guilty about considering it...He could probably do with the interaction & be out of your hair & be with little people instead of Mum & his new Sister!! You need a break too

I had a bad day yday as Jack fed all day! Couldn't get out or do anything..HV convinced it weas his 6 week growth spurt & just to go with it...I did but Christ my nipples are sore today & boobs much more engorged..oh well, expressing today shouldn't be a problem.

Liquid, we took DD to see the c/o too when she was 8 weeks on advice of a friend due to her grizzly nature. With Jack we took him at one week old. Basically (& this is the short none medical version as there is a lot to it) they both had severe compression at their top of their skulls due to their nature of their births. The osteopath gently releases this pressure by applying small soft pressure / movements to the head & the vertabrae. This compression was also affecting their diaphragms /digestion & made them extremley grizzly & uncomfortable...once the pressure was lifted it was if they became different children. More content, less windy, happier & able to get themselves off to sleep. DD had only 2 sessions, Jack 4 - as he had the cord around his neck he needed more work & was more affected shall we say. There are people who say it's a load of old codgers (my DH was sceptical but even he had to admit he saw the difference)...but I'm very grateful.....

Sorry to hear about your morning Mabel - yesterday was a bit like that and I lost it with ds and then felt guilty afterwards. He likes to jump around on the sofa which I don't mind normally but not when I'm breast feeding on it - ouch!
Mandaz - sorry to hear about your ex. Persevere with the group though - I find Mother &Toddlers very overwhelming first time I went but I made myself go back and now I've made some lovely friends.
Dd is 6 weeks today - feels like a bit of a milestone as they say the first 6 weeks are the worst Some nights she wakes up twice and settles really easily but others it takes ages to get her back to sleep. We're going to try her in the cot with a grobag tonight so I will let you know if it works!!

Good luck Compo...we put Jack in his on Monday & all fine!

thanks for the support ladies - I have managed to get an hours sleep while DS is napping.
Cori - lol at fifi amd the flower tots, for us it is big cook little cook - it drives me insane!!!
Compo - DS does that as well when I feed.
Mandaz - I would try again at your group. I found mine very 'cliquey' at the start, but it's got much better and now all the cliquey one's children have moved up to pre-school and now DS is one of the older ones and there are loads of new babies starting

cruisemum - re the nighttime thing - i do all ds's feeds after 7pm with just a nightlight on, very dim, and very quietly, then straight back to bed - have done that since week two and he seems to understand that it's sleep time as he always goes back down fairly easily - never more than a couple of minutes complaining and he's kipping again, plus he always goes to bed between 6.30 and 7.30, depending on how late he's napped in the pm, and we always have the same bedtime routine ... it doesn't work like that in the daytime though, and he has absolutely no routine and will almost never go to sleep in his room. if he wakes up at 7am or after i try and get up and start the day, but if it's 6ish, or i'm really knackered, i just take him into bed with me, feed him, then we both go back to sleep for an hour or so - i love it but it makes me feel like i'm being really lazy and getting him into bad habits!

thanks everyone for the BF v. FF support - gonna see if i can get some expert advice on the agonising boob - can only express from it at the moment it's SO sore!

Cori and Compo - were you swaddling before yours went into grobags? ds has been fully swaddled for nighttime and lunchtime naps and i was thinking i might have to half swaddle him for a bit first... he seems to really resent being swaddled the last couple of days, so i'm going 'arms out' from tonight.

Hi, I swaddled DS for the first two weeks after birth...as unlike DD he seemed to love it! Then he wanted his arms out so we just wrapped him up leaving his arms free using a big cellular blanket. Now he sleeps during the day in his basket with blanket & nighttimes are exclusively Grobag & cot with nights off after 6-7pm!! When he really outgrows his basket...we'll use the cot during the day as we did with DD...despite thinking this would confuse her etc...which it didn't..

Morning everyone Well it seemed to go okay with the grobag and into the cot. Took about an hour to settle her - kept popping back in with the dummy, more of a pain when she's upstairs rather than in lounge in moses basket but we persevered and she slept from 10pm to 2.30am and then til 6am. So why did I have raging insomnia from 3am onwards - grrrr!!
We swaddled at the beginning and then, like Cori, she wanted her arms out so we just wrapped her up and now she's just in grobag. In the day she sleeps downstairs on her bouncy chair with a blnaket draped over her. She often needs rocking to sleep in the day but I don't feel like getting her in the cot in the day just yet.

2.30 till 6am?!!! Fantastic...

hi everyone!
Another gro-bag user here, with Ds2 being so big I wasn't worried about putting him in it straight away - only at nighttimes though.
During the day he is doing a mixture of sleeping in his big cot (usually works in the morning) and in his bouncy chair. Unfortunately he has the indignity of having to sleep on the dining room table though, if he's in his chair, to stop DS1 from poking him.
We are still keeping DS2 downstairs at the moment til we go to bed - pure laziness, as I can't be bothered to go upstairs if he cries, I'm also worried about him waking DS1.
In spite of having a better night with DS1 last night (thank god for Medised!), I still had a rubbish night Ds2 has taken to feeding twice a night (2ish and then 5ish), after being so good and sleeping from 10pm til 4 or 5!! I am convincing myself it's his six week growth spurt and that it will sort itself out, I wouldn't mind at all normally, but I was then up, like you compo, with insommnia and this *** cough, which is doing my head in!