March 2013- the one where plonk gets married!

[Gerrythetootallgiraffeswife]

Perilously close to filling the old thread suddenly!

I just hope Worse isn't back for any reason other than old times IYKWIM.

Sorry to be so rubbish. Life is intense. Work busy busy busy. Toddle fab but requiring constant input which I'm hardly ever here for . Dh fab but exhausted by 1 and 2. And spent the weekend on a bit of a 0-60 consideration of whether we sell our house to buy somewhere with an annexe for my mum . We had (have?)no plans to move so all a bit odd and don't know where it will lead, if anywhere.

Sorry for those with hfm.

How's labour going Plonk?

Pud that post sounds so full of ugh-ness. Any chance of escaping to dessert (typo intended) island with boy, bigger boy and nan in tow? Sounds like a tough time for you all (hug).

She's not in labour after all, despite chasing her cat around the streets at 10.30pm, and has gone down all the recommended avenues for inducing labour. Having another sweep today and if not successful I think they induce on tues/weds.

Reminds me how shit the last bit is! Also makes me hopeful that my second baby just gets sneezed out.

Ds slept til 4.30 in his own bed. Bottle and calpol at 2, and back down with no fuss. Good boy that'n! He's so far oblivious to the change.

I mean Wotta! clearly I suck with nanechanges! Maybe I should revert to my dinoname too, for simplicity's sake.

But if you revert we won't be able to call you Trumpy, and my inner twelve year old will lose an opportunity for regular immature giggles! You'll always be el Plonkarino in my mind though, Trumps.

I'm still Plonky in my mind too, Stormy. And ds is the toddlesaurus. My phone even recognises that name. Just like Something will always be Something, and Worse will always be Worse (not least for the Worselet), and I'm still not used Betty, Gerry and Wotta!

I just wrote a huge post, DD deleted it and I thought I was going to cry. This might be a shorter version!

I've now been away for so long that you're no longer in my active conversations but it's nice to see old names back. I might have a reversion too just for you Plonk! It'll need to be on a proper computer though as I can't figure it out on phone.

Italy was beautiful and the place we were staying was perfect with a little one. It was on a huge farm up in the hills with two lovely tiny villages a hearty hilly trek away and some lovely places within driving distance but it was definitely not a relaxing holiday. DH snuck every minute he could to get a bit relaxing in with no concept that that left me doing all the work, I did all the driving because nobody else will probably with good reason as the Italian driving style is terrifying and madam has found a new level of separation anxiety and tantrums and wails every time I'm out of eye shot so I couldn't even sneak off for a cheeky swim. On the plus side the wonderful DGPs took the monitor every night so at least I slept well!

It's the funeral of someone I love very much today and I'm so sad about it. I'm just hoping I can hold it together for my reading. He was just bloody great and was always there.

Wotta I hope everything improves soon and calms down a bit.

Grumpy I hope you had a good night. Any escapes?

Worse how's the progress with the new project?

I also had a big rant about DH in my last deleted post but in all honesty I just can't be arsed to do it again. Needless to say we're not in a good place. He needs to pull his socks up otherwise I think there's a lot of unhappiness and resentment and a very rocky future lying ahead. It's making me really anxious at the moment which turns me into a terrible hag and I hate that as I usually see the fun side of life. Ah well, it's all swings and roundabouts isn't it?

Yummy you'll always be glad you did the books and frames. I wish I had but I seem to have done nothing. Must improve on the sentimental parenting front I think!

Right, off to get ready and hope for a peaceful and happy send off.

Happy Monday everyone!

Well Betty that's made my face very frowny. I think you need a great big trumpy cuddle (and a proper post later once I've had a think).

Hope today is not too painful for you, and that your beautiful dd gives you a big sloppy kiss this afternoon.

Betty I wish I could make it all go away for you. I'm so sorry about your friend, I hope the funeral allows you at some level to say goodbye and remember the good times.

As for DH, I'd kick him if I could. I don't have any answers when it comes to the selfishness of some men, it seems to be a pretty endemic trait though. Don't feel guilty about raising issues with him, it doesn't make you a nag. Don't feel guilty about handing dd over, and telling him he needs to parent up and take charge while you have a much needed break. It's called being a family.

You have to sit down with him and talk about this properly, even if that means booking a baby sitter and just to get some time together. Resentment is very damaging, and can make things much worse. My advice would be to agree some set in stone times when he is responsible for dd. If he has to cancel, he has to arrange alternative childcare. You can then book something in those times, say a swim, or other activity. If dd cries, so be it. DH is her dad, she will soon settle with him, probably much faster than you imagine once you are out of sight. The toddle was like that at nursery not so long ago. I could hear her yelling all the way down the corridor, but by the time I was outside.... not a peep.

I hate to say it, but this seems to be a phase all marriages go through after a couple of years. Mine did, and I just hid my head in the sand about it and pretended it wasn't happening. Getting a balance agreed is really important.

Wotta I just missed being Worse so to speak . I'm ok. I'm knackered, and often a bit down due to exhaustion, and constant minor illnesses, but that's fairly normal for pregnancy with a little one. Or so I'm told. I remember the difficulties Eig went through with MiniEig catching every nursery bug going from her elder sibling. It's just like that, only at this stage, it's me catching them!

Betty the project is on hold, as the seller has got greedy and after agreeing a theoretical price at which they'd sell, they've upped that by £50k. What they haven't quite realised is we are investors buying with heads not hearts, so aren't even remotely interested in petty negotiation. They've not had an offer in 3 years. They'll be lucky to get another. We're happy to walk away, and to be honest probably will as a couple of new opportunities have come up which look very appealing.

DH will be home in an hour, but on conference calls. I am in two minds over whether I should be pleased about this. 1. It is nice to have him at home. 2. It's a pain him being on the phone, as he can't help, or even provide a bit of company, but he is here, making noise, mess and needing to be fed. How inconvenient! Disclaimer: That is a little tongue in cheek.

Oh ladies. I need you all to send me some strength.

I'm sat in my dad's car on the way to the women's hospital in Liverpool. My sister has lost her baby, and is being induced.

Oh Trumpy!!!! Thats brought a tear to my eye so I can't imagine what you/she and your family are going though. Have any strength I have left gladly.

Thanks Wotta.

It doesn't feel real, and I only wish it was a dream. We're still at least 90 minutes away. God I wish she didn't live so far away, not that that'd change a thing, but if I were her I'd want to be with my mum.

Even my dad's crying. Fuck.

It's a shit bollocks fuck wank situation and it's ok to feel that. I cannot imagine how it must feel to go through birth in those circumstances.

I guess our dear Rainbow is the only one of us who can and I'm sure we all wish that nobody had to learn.

fuck mnetty, have the biggest virtual hug you can imagine and don't worry about virtually snotting on my virtual shoulder.

I had tears in my eyes too. I just don't know the right things to say or do so I'll just send you all my thoughts, strength and love, to you and your family. I can't imagine what you're all going through and I'm so sorry that you have to go through it. When you're back home, you know where we are if you need us

Trumpy I'm crying too. I'm so sorry. There are no words

Virtual hugs and real tears here too, Trumps. I wish there were words that could make you feel even a tiny bit better. and

I have never wished a journey to go quicker whilst being utterly terrified of what's to come at the end of it. We're a few miles away now. DSis has said she is waiting to make the decision - induction or section - for when we get there. She seems so calm. Brave lady.

Thank you all for your virtual but very real support. You're amazing.

Oh trump You'll be there now. One brave woman supporting another by the sounds of it. I am so sorry for this unfair turn of events. I was excited for you and now I'm sad for you. I cannot imagine the shock you're all in. I can guess a little bit. There's lots of love in your family, that's what you need right now. We're all here for you too, because you'll need someone too. No idea what else to say love. Sending warm enveloping cuddles for strength xx

Trump so so sorry for you and your DSis and family. Lots of and hoping you get through this together xx

Oh gosh Trump. My thoughts and wishes to you and all your family especially your sister. Life is a bitch.

Betty i hope today went well as it could be.

If I wasn't already an atheist then the events of today would definitely cause me to be.

She's doing really well, considering. There've been plenty of tears and tough decisions to make, but she's strong and her partner is an amazing chap. We're on our way home now but mum and I will be popping back over tomorrow. I hope she manages to rest. Her head must be swimming, and contractions on top of that.

Oh Trump I've just got home and logged in and to such tragic news. I am so sorry for all of you, it's just so fucking unfair. Well done for getting to her all of you, it may not seem much to you at the moment but to her having such a layer of support around her will come to mean the world. It sounds like she's being brave and amazing. If you've got any questions about any of the obstetric side of it then feel free to PM or facebook me anytime. Huge hugs.

Thanks Betty.

The overwhelming question is just 'why?' Why, after 41 weeks of a perfect pregnancy is she having to endure such hell? Why was everything fine yesterday, and then today no heartbeat?

Sigh.

It is what it is. I hope she's managing to rest. I hope the layer of support helps her come out of this dark patch in time. She's adamant this hasn't put her off still wanting a family, so that's something. But she's not done the hard bit yet. I feel such a coward for admitting that I hope when we see them tomorrow it's at their home, where we can be productive and busy instead of awaiting the awful inevitable.

This journey is too far. We're not even at Warrington yet. I want a great big cigarette and a big measure of gin.

Oh my goodness Trumpy. I have nothing to offer but more hugs and, well, my heartfelt thoughts to your DSis. Awful news. Can't imagine waiting all that time and then nothing. Emptiness. Awful. Let us all be thankful for our little ones

You give your little ones an extra heartfelt squeeze tonight. We are so, so lucky.

Sorry I'm spamming the thread. I need to keep doing something because the moment I stop I think of the bedside crib that won't be occupied, the clothes that won't be worn and the car seat that caused my marathon running, nuclear historian BIL to break down earlier tonight.

You lot are such a godsend.

Trumpy it's all so unbearable. Your poor sister, I can't even imagine the hell she is going through. I'm so glad you were able to be there to support her with her decision. That will have meant so much.