March 2013- the one where plonk gets married!

[Gerrythetootallgiraffeswife]

Perilously close to filling the old thread suddenly!

Rainbow ah, I'm all out of ideas as to how to get a longer nap then. I'm guessing you get an early bedtime in recompense which might actually be preferable!

Plonky I'm a dozy cow. I completely forgot to ask him to confirm the sex. I'm guessing that'll be in the letter when it arrives, but I'm assuming there is no change to his early assessment as he's one of those jovial old school types who'd have made a big joke out of getting in wrong.

Stormy yup, word's out. I told the neighbourhood gossip information disseminator last weekend, so I'm assuming news will have spread across several continents by now. To be honest it'll be no great surprise to anyone. I look decidedly pregnant. Today at clinic it was patently obvious who was expecting their first. They were not showing. Seconds and thirds.... massive bumps. I'm less massive than I was at 8 weeks, but still massive. Looking on the bright side, you do kind of miss out the slightly fat I've been at the pies look.

I'm punching the air for many of you. For Doli's great test results. For Plonky's double whammy of gym and lie in. For Wotta not letting herself go and turning goddess on us. For Stormy whose lie in was epic. For rainbow who gets to play in Orlando and will have to sample the florida donuts.For gerry who gets to play in the flatlands. soon besides the sea. All lovely news to hear

Yummy, sorry you've been feeling a bit poo. Has seeing your pals cheered you any?

Thanks for the wave shattered. You'll be pleased to know dh has completed day five of almost solo parenting and has done a good job.

Antibiotics are good aren't they? I only started them yesterday and despite yesterday being epically awful today hasn't been too bad. I know I'm on a fairly hefty dose but they are magic. My golf balls aren't white anymore which makes me able to think about them without gagging. The combination of the antibiotics and maximum doses of two painkillers and a spray have kept it manageable today and I haven't felt delirious. Also no soak-my-clothes-wet sweats since early afternoon so maybe I've reached the turning point. Yippee. What's Tuesday? Whatever it is to you all!

< this yellow one eyed monster is how I look today with my cherry-on-cake conjunctivitis

eco so glad you are starting to feel better. Thanks to the scientist who discovered antibiotics.

Its not even midnight and we have had so many wake ups. Bloody teething. I am so tired. Driving to and from Hampshire for work today has contributed to the tiredness.

I have lost my direction in life. Work wise I am not sure what to do. Full time? Stay part time? Change job/career? I just want someone to tell me what to do. Thinking hurts my brain

Glad you're improving Eco. Oh gosh and runny hurty eyes too? I think I'm going to paint a cross on your door if you don't mind. Even if you did I'm sure you'd be powerless to stop me . What's your feel better food? The thing you can't wait to be able to swallow? Dh sounds like he's doing a stellar job, but I'm sure he is totally capable of cooking up a storm too!

Yummy I have lots of questions for you. Ask yourself: is the problem that life is generally stressful? You have a lot on, don't you? Your job is one where people routinely feel they can't cope, there is so much pressure and a heavy workload without adequate support.
Ask yourself honestly : do you like your job? It seems incredibly noble, and incredibly difficult. Do you get to discuss your casework with anyone who can help share the weight? I'm asking because I wonder how much of your stress is work, and how much is life. If it is work then going part time may help, but also how understanding is your boss, your team? If you don't think they'd really appreciate your request because you're all in it together and they have to cope regardless, then maybe you need to totally reevaluate your chosen career. This is not a bad thing! I know a person who does the same job, and she was able to take a period of unpaid leave because she developed such anxiety she couldn't eat at work or she'd puke. Not good.
Now, DS. He sounds gorgeous, a proper little energetic toddler. And teething too. That's a lot required of you, even without the stressful job. Does dh help more these days? Remember that ds is not your sole responsibility. Even if it means dh taking ds out for an hour at the weekend so you can have a hot bath, that is time you deserve.
Please be kind to yourself because you really do seem stretched thin. There is nothing bad about cutting down your hours - after all the early childhood years are fleeting, how would you feel about missing some of them because of work? If you love your job then fine, but if you don't that's a tough sacrifice. It's a lot to think about, and I only ask so many questions because I left a job I hate to start one I am not qualified for and don't enjoy. I made the wrong choice! But it's fine because no matter how shit you feel you always have options.

Now who ordered all this rain?

Uh-oh.

I broke it, didn't I?

Hi plonk! You didn't break it...
doli great news re the babax- glad all A Ok. Which reminds me, what's the plan with doli toddle? Does she have to have anything done or just monitoring?

yummy sorry that you're . Plonk has very wise words so I'll just add that I hope you're ok. Definitely sounds like you need a bit of time for yourself.

eco yay for antibiotics, hope you continue to improve quickly. I laughed when you said you'd dropped the phone on your face as I've done the same before! Sending some virtual eclairs tasty Tuesday I think it should be?

Thanks for the sugar tips rainbow and doli, I need to give it some effort!! Hope everyone else ok.

It's a bugger yummy that no one can tell you the right thing to do. Perhaps you have a gut instinct? Are you brave enough to follow that? Could you help dh expand the business and make that even more successful? Consider Mrs Plonky's words and let us know how you're feeling.

Plonky did you get washed away? It turned out to be very minor rain here, all done and dusted by mid morning. I ordered it! Mwah-ha-ha! I thought the planet needed lubricating and the bees looked bored as all the flowers had died. And the excited new froggies were gasping. And the ducks wanted to dance. But Plonky, remember I also ordered the amazing sunshine for your wedding day so don't come and get me! But feel free to come and hang a cross on my door. I am bacteria ridden and gross so I deserve that.

Today ladies I am back on the éclairs. Oh yes. This must mean, boringly, that I should get on with other rubbish too so I have largely functioned as normal today with childcare and jobs, but I seem to be paying for it now so I'll stop. Bit silly to go from nought to sixty from one day to the next.

Dh has cooked me my favourite plonk: his lasagne. Yummy. It's waiting for me now I believe so I'll go and wrap my tonsils around that.

I embarked on the first stages of a special present for dh's thirtieth birthday today. We have no money for next six to eight months as we repay the debts accrued saying mortgage and rent for seven months so I've had be be creative! I'm going to make a photo album (scrapbook, but that sounds like I wear jersey and elasticated waists every day whilst stroking my cat and that's not me. Yet) of birth to thirty with pages for school, parents, sibling, pets, uni, radio, friends, wedding, fatherhood etc embellished with words from all of his special people. I'm excited. But I don't have long. Less than a month!

I think my move to Bedfordshire rendered me boring ladies. Sorry!

Wednesday an
one? I'm on lemon barley myself but I'm hoping one of you is true to our day. Wotta maybe? Or Betty? Something and plonk surely?

And we have walking! Late to the party but hooray for wottatod!

And great news Doli re Babax and Eco re feeling better.

Evening all, and thank you everyone for the kind words. It has indeed been a good week. Shattered the toddle is fine, no intervention needed. She has two small holes, one common, one less so, but neither of a size to worry anyone, so an annual scan is all that is required. I however have been put on aspirin just in case the babax needs it. I must confess to being a little confused by that one. A very busy registrar assured me it was necessary then vanished. No blood pressure, clotting, or heart issues myself, so seems little random.

Yummy my advice is be completely clinical and unemotional about everything for a minute if you can. What does your job provide? What is it lacking? What things about it make you happy (money, self worth, adult contact, prospects.... that kind of thing)? What things about it stress you out? Now the things that stress you out... is the only solution leaving or going part time? I suspect not. Explore other avenues first. If you need support, set out a business case and ask for it. If you're are working stupid hours, do time sheets, speak to HR, ask for overtime (usually makes people sit up), cost out getting temp cover and present a case.

Going part time - would you get to keep your role or would you be side stepped (down graded) into something less stimulating or worth while? Or is the problem that your job isn't stimulating because you aren't fulfilling your potential. If so, apply for promotion. Women traditionally undersell themselves. Men traditionally over sell. Be a man. It works for them.

Leaving - what would you do? Remember my mistakes, the grass isn't always greener. If you do the full time SAHM role it will be hard to find the time to re-train at something else, unless you pay for childcare to cover your study time. That's hard when you aren't earning. As for writing books, new hobbies all that jazz. I still haven't and always intended to. That eternal problem... time!

Whatever you do, commit fully and don't regret. You can't live your life by regrets but you can choose to be happy. I have many mistakes, disasters, painful events in my life and when I was pregnant with the toddle I made a decision. No more looking back and what ifs. That one tiny decision all by itself is the reason I am happy. Funny how simple life is when we give ourselves permission to not over think.

Bed for me in a minute, as I have the luxury of having had DH at home today doing the dad thing, pretty much all day. Rest - isn't it lovely! I have shed years

Eco meant to say what a lovely, thoughtful, meaningful present. DH will be very touched. If after I'm gone I come back in a fairytale I want you as my fairy godmother.

Yes Eco. My not very well off parents gave me an album of my life so far for my 30th and it was fab!

Eco can dh come to mine and cook here too? We're only up the road...and I'll help with the birthday present in return. Sadly no booze here tonight, or any weeknights post honeymoon. Its something to do with being healthier and more compus mentus. But I am eating fruit again these days, so swings and roundabouts.

Doli sometimes we need to tell ourselves to stop looking back, don't we? It's my game plan for 2014. After such a good year (so far) it feels only right to reflect on how I came to be where I am. A year ago that was an impossible thought, I'd just bumbled along in a rather negative fashion. It feels different now though, like ds has given me direction and I owe it to him, dh and myself to stride out. I need to sort out my job, and I think I have some tough thoughts to think on. That's all very abstract, but your saying about making the choice to let yourself be happy really struck a chord.

And go WottaTod! I think that makes our cohort fully mobile. So, when are we going to have this March Toddles 5 a side?

Gosh, Gerry, Plonky and Doli are like wise relationship Buddhas with their sensible decisions to make the here and now happier. Go you!! Doli in particular you sound like you just get mindfulness. There's an alternative, flexible career for you if you ever wanted to branch beyond finance. And I meant to say ages ago, no judgement of people working in finance/banking. It's where I cut my teeth My older BIL got me a job in his merchant bank for my year out. I had a very niche role for the year, earned enough money to pay my way through university, learn vital fundamentals in customer service and professionalism, got practice at being responsible and learned how to smoke silk cut ultras. An education. And I bloody loved it. In many ways it suited my character and my strengths. It just didn't ultimately suit my heart so I trotted off to uni to study ecology and have not worked in private sector since So, please don't feel judged! I love a banker I do.

And Wottaboy!! Yay indeed! Is now the time to ask for a cutie video in marchers? We'd love to see the last toddle.

Gosh you lot are so bloody wise!

Eco I can see how id be a good shout for wine Wednesdays but I was on nights for first shift in new job last night, I have however just had a hot chocolate laced with my favourite rum and I'm off to bed.

As for work, I love the flexibility part time gives me but a tiny part of me resents seeing people who were much more junior than me progressing much faster and within a couple of years I'll be working for them, then I remember that I'm lucky and get on with being happy. My DH tends towards being a woe-is-me misery if allowed and there's only room for one in any house!

Night all.

I'm glad you're managing to be happy re: work and promotions, Betty. My inner feminist is raging on your behalf, but being happy is probably better for you in the long run.

I woke up at dawn this morning (bloody cats). Rolled over and went back to sleep. Woke up naturally feeling well rested at ten. Waking up naturally seems like such a luxury now. I've just been reading a thread on the pregnancy board about an overbearing MIL and thinking "am I the only person in the world who'd quite like their MIL to live closer and be more involved?" If she were close enough for weekly sleepovers it would be awesome.

What's your favourite rum, Betty? I was quite partial to a mojito in the carefree days of yore, but I was very particular over what rum went into it.

And those who were more junior than you previously...will they not be in a similar position in a few years to come? Obviously if male then no (and GRRR!) but these things must surely come round?

Stormy for all my bitching I do quite like my MIL. If DH gets offered a job out that way we'd move closer to them in a heartbeat. Of course that has the downside of putting my very much nearer to my lovely but very bosom hoiking, pearl clutching sister. She is lovely, of course, but cut from a rather different cloth.

I was awoken at 4. DS wriggled and kicked til 5. DH moaned like a little girl. DS and I went downstairs, put a movie on and promptly discovered the problem - an enormous poo. We fell asleep on the settee and were woken by a running-late DH at 8am and I've had that beaten up under water feeling since. Afraid that my brain was falling away like wet cake I went back to bed for a power nap and now feel like I can face the world!

Happy Thirsty Thursday all. Sadly, there was no rum in my hot chocolate today.

Ah, the trials and tribulations of work. I absolutely put my career on hold for DS, but it was entirely my choice. I was working in the industry that I adored, not necessarily the job I wanted but I had unlimited opportunity to progress to where I wanted to be. After mat leave, they just didn't want me back and that was glaringly obvious. I could have gone back full time but the shifts would have meant so little time with DS and that's not what I wanted. They were insistent that they couldn't accommodate part time hours, despite it being the better option for all and I tried to explain that. Flashforward to today and my role is being advertised as part time. Surprise surprise. I resent that. Immensely. Now I'm in a job I hate but with the hours that I wanted yet I'm miserable. Especially this week, because it's a job share, and the other un's gone on holiday for 2 weeks so I'm here forever!! There must be something else out there. Oh well, at least this one has given me time to start writing a children's book.

Anyway, enough moaning. DS moved up a class in swimming and went to his first last night. It was so much more active and busy. And run by DM so he was obviously thrilled. And knackered. He really didn't want to wake up today. Even the howls of the puppy (who really didn't want to go to bed at 10pm) didn't stir him.

I love MiL. But despite her living about 20 mins away, we very rarely see her which is a shame. I have asked DP to book her in for having DS sleepover next month so that we can go drink all-day cocktails for DP's birthday. The thought of a whole day and night as a couple has made me stupidly excited.

eco I love that idea for a photo album. We did it for my dad's 60th and he was beyond pleased. We also threw him a party and each buffet table had different foods from all his favourite countries he'd been to and we all wore clothes from various countries too. They travel a lot, my parents, and they started going to a lot more exotic countries after I'd moved out...

And a big well done to walking WottaTod!! I second the video request!

Oh, what I'd give for a powernap. I'll just have to make do with another rumless hot chocolate.

Oh dear, my day was going swimmingly, and now I think I might be a candidate for the biggest do as I say not as I do prize on the planet.

Today is a nursery day, aka getting stuff done day, so that is what I have been doing. This included prepping a load of stuff for a chilli to cook during the toddle's nap this afternoon. Then DH texts to say he'd be home at 2pm to help! Excellent, what's wrong with that you say? Well quite a lot actually, as 1. He's noisy, messy, and under feety when at home, and given how much he has been at home lately I was kind of looking forward to a bit of peace , and 2. He can't help anyway, as he's on conference calls until 6.30pm. So why come home? What's the point? Why not go to the actual meetings rather than bellow down the phone for endless hours? It's not like the toddle can actually nap when he's on calls, he's too bl**dy loud, so now she's outside, and I'm stuck in the kitchen where I can see/hear her, rather than upstairs cleaning where I wanted to be.

I might possibly have said all that to him, which might possibly be why he is in the mother of all sulks muttering dark promises of never bothering again, and probably planning a whole week of beer nights next week.

Oops

That aside, today has been lovely as the nursery leader told me the toddle was just gorgeous, and was missed when we took her out for a break in the Spring. 'Just sweet, like a little girl should be'. Awwwww. Stormy I appreciate you'd probably have decked her for that comment, but I quite liked it. The toddle is a very girlie girl. Nothing tomboy about her. Next one will probably be a biker or something.

Stormy no need to feel grrr, medical training is refreshingly fair. The reason they're overtaking me is because they've worked more training months because they didn't take a year off and aren't part time. You get there faster if you've worked more months, simple as that. To be a consultant you need to have done a certain number of years training and a simple number of procedures and you're just as entitled to go part time for childcare as a man. Plonky more female trainees either go back full time or wait to have babies until they're consultants so as not to prolong training.

Plonk my favourite rum is Mount Gay extra old. I made mojitos at the weekend and strawberry mojitos at the weekend with Havana 7yr and they were yummy. Mmmm.

Wow all thank you very much for your wise posts. Lots to think about. I am trying to figure out all the things I would like to do and place them on a timeline. If I completely was not thinking about finances. I would ditch the career I am already in and study psychology. However, our current focus is save for a deposit for a mortgage. I know deep down going back full time is the most logical step for us to do this (ds would be in nursery 3days a week and 2 days with dm) but I can't bring myself to do this. I would miss ds and do a full on emotive and stressful job for the majority of the week. I have a lot whizzing through my head. Dh is not helping he does not have an opinion and says he can't tell me what to do.

eco the album is a lovely idea. I am sure your dh will love it. Oh and thank you for ordering the rain I needed it. I did dress ds inappropriately though as it was very hot by lunchtime.

Congrats to wottatoddle. Now the fun really starts.

I have been itching to post but my internet went today.

Any funny things your toddlers have been doing lately? Despite the full on tantrums I adore this age. Ds was playing with his shopping trolley (he absolutely adores it) and was saying wannn, doooo,weeeee meaning (1, 2, 3) then runs pushing the trolley. So so funny. Things we don't teach him he is picking up more. Still can't say mum yet though.grrr. lol.

I think it's quiet today because Doli has her dh tied up in the pantry, something was inspired by Betty and has had loads of rum laced hot chocolate, Stormy has run away into the Blue skies yelling 'toddler free time' and hasn't come back, Plonky is in her 'honeymoon period' enough said, Betty is nursing a hangover after going out with new work mates, shattered is shattered having got an exclusive shot of that slip of a thing from one direction, yummy is out celebrating because ds spent all night singing 'mummy mummy mummy' and any is currently shooting photos of Beyoncé's baby. All far too busy for on here

I haven't run away yet! I've even managed to be productive today. I did the quarterly quick whizz round upstairs with the Hoover and a duster, in anticipation of yet another landlord inspection next week. And I did the washing up, which has been piling up since Wednesday, but since it's just me here it was piled in a very neat stack that didn't set off my cleaning radar. And tonight there will be beer!

Oh eco you made me giggle with your post. No mummy yet but we met up with a friend had lunch and the went to the park thinking is it or is it not going to rain. Im glad you posted otherwose I would have killed the thread. Doli and Gerry were you waiting for a storm too today?

And I don't want hot chocolate getting in the way of my rum. I'm not sure rum will be enough. Here come the second molars