March 2013- the one where plonk gets married!

[Gerrythetootallgiraffeswife]

Perilously close to filling the old thread suddenly!

Oh god no eco I wasn't a workaholic. I had a job where those hours were non-negotiable. I worked in an investment bank (don't shoot me). For all those of you who by default hate people who work in investment banks, think they earn millions, and are the scum of the earth can I just point out about 2% are like that, the vast majority work awful hours on average salaries, and burn out very young! During y2k the junior IT guys were on 24 hour shifts, slept under their desks, and worked out they'd have a better hourly rate in McDonalds. Glamorous huh.

DH on the other hand is a genuine workaholic. He's loves his work, his brain never stops whirring with ideas, he'll get up at 3am to write a deck, just because.... He'll never give up, but I think he will slow down. He loves being a dad and doing dad stuff even if he'll never ever clean a toilet

We've been on one nap since 12 months, but I think she switched early because she goes to bed very late, so gets up a bit later than most. Usually between 7.30am and 8am. I got through the transition phase by taking her for a walk in her pram at about 11am so she had a bit of wind down time before lunch. One nap is awesome, because it is minimum 1 hour, max 2. You can get a lot done in 1 - 2 hours!

Rainbow we have defiance, but it is not polite. Outright rude I'd say.

doli the defiance is more often than not demanding and draining here too - but I try focus on the cuteness to stop from being driven mad by it. I actually really admire people like you DH and wish I had that kind of drive. But a few years in a similar long hours thankless job to yours after I graduated taught me that I value personal life more than work life!

Rainbow frustrating though it all may be there are times where I can't help but laugh. Like today, when I shut the dogs in because they were being total PITA, and dd lay down on the grass and screamed in protest. It was kind of funny

As for DH, he'd be the first to admit the only reason he can be the way he is is because I do everything at home. I have done for years, and I gave up my career to do so. Not necessarily the right decision, but one that has enabled him to be very successful. I personally think that's what the glass ceiling is about. Women rarely get that level of support, so by definition are juggling a whole load more balls, and can't commit the same amount of time or attention to their work. It isn't fair, but it is RL.

Argh, lost a post! Will redo later on computer. In short: Fartypants is into defiance at the moment too, and eco, stick with the antibiotics, horse tranquilisers will make you convinced you're actually dead, which I'm assured by people who take too much ketamine is not fun at all.

We've been on one nap since 6 months! Are there still 2 nap-a-day toddles out there? The one nap is usually between 2 and 3 hours though. I prefer it.

eco that sounds bloody rubbish. I know you've been given the doctor prescribed antibiotics but, may I prescribe ice cream, too? That must help!

We have impolite defiance here. Usually when things are taken off him. You know, like when he's finished his drink so I take it off him to get him a new one. That kind of awful mothering I do.

I'm attempting a later bedtime tonight, to about 7:30/8ish. Just to see if he sleeps in past 6am tomorrow. I know he won't, why am I bothering? Ah well.

Eco that's grim. Get well soon chicken, it's not a nice time of year to be laid up.

Rainbow we have dead eyed defiance too. It's a standard toddler thing I presume? They're working out...everything! When do you fly? We're off in early September. We flew at the same time last year and found Ella's pouches, a few toys and lots of milk to be a decent coping strategy. This time I think I'll try your tactic, along with lots of walking around during normal flight. Take off and landing are what they are, and might prove stressful at the time but over very quickly. I just hope there's no turbulence!

Doli my MIL did a similar thing to you. Being a SAHM enabled FIL to realise his potential in a fantastic job and therefore retire 10 years early, buy a big feck off field and a villa abroad. But he's only just now calming down and enjoying being more of a family man. I hope dh manages to retain his current work life balance as much as possible. I'm not a workaholic by any stretch, but I'm getting pretty serious about retraining, setting up on my own and establishing myself in the area. That's going to require more than a few late nights!

Best go, there's a small person climbing all over me.

Not long gone to one nap something! No way would he have coped at six months. Funny isn't it.

eco hope the golfballs disappear ASAP. Wishing you a speedy recovery and lots of health! Good that DH is looking after you and daddying up.

doli good that the dolitod is healthy. Good work ok the sugar, I should probably do the same but can't seem to have the willpower. In fact I did join the no sugar thread here
as well as the 5:2 but did not last long!!! Even weetabix has sugar in fgs. Have you cut all sugar out completely eg table sauces etc? Tell me you feel better and I'll see if I can flex my willpower muscle again. You too rainbow !

eco get better soon. Sounds horrible.

Naps have generally been once a day with illness and teething permitting.

Defiance, I hear you all say. Me and dh were completely embarrassed at a resturant yesterday. We had to box up our food to eat at home because ds screamed when we put him in the highchair and then made lots of mess with food.

doli I admire you deciding to be a sahm to enable dh to go far in his career. Do you think you will ever regret making that decision? I

I have been quiet lately on here but been busy with work, catching up with mates (ds having bugs one after the other meant we had no social life)met up with mates and generally feeling a bit blah.

Have a lovely evening all.

Blimey, no Shattered I'm not obsessive about it. I don't check what has sugar in it, but if it tastes very sweet I'm not going to like it so generally don't eat it. Weetabix I like, but all bran for example tastes much sweeter to me so I avoid it. Yes, table sauces are fine, but they tend to have a vinegar tang which takes the edge off. Balance in all things.

Yummy I do regret it, and I'm the first to caution people thinking of doing the same. It's hard not to resent the freedom and fun a career gives the working partner. I didn't appreciate those things when I had them, but when they're gone they're gone. What I have learnt though is DH finds it hard not to envy the time I have with the toddle, and he perceives my life as free and without much stress. We have achieved an equilibrium now as I think we've both learnt a few lessons about the grass isn't always greener, and he is in full support of me returning to work at some level after the babax arrives. The one thing he is against is my returning to my previous career. I hated it! He'd rather I earned peanuts and was happy. He's not a bad bloke all told.

Hoping for a quiet night here, and the signs are looking good. In her cot, chatting and playing with a musical toy, but no crying.

We still have two naps at home - 2 hrs in the morning and 1-1.5 hrs in the afternoon - but only one nap on nursery days and usually only 1-1.5 hours at that. He's so knackered when he gets home we get the long ones!

Almost annoying as takes up a lots of day and would be nice to go out for more. Can be done, but he's shredded by bedtime if we do.

Working in finance I second Dolis view that those on the silly money are few and far between. Sadly!

Meltdowns here when he doesn't get his own way. Cannot imagine an 8hr flight but as we aren't getting further than Coventry for Hols this year, that's possibly no bad thing.

I managed to do hair removal on my legs and paint both fingers and toes tonight. Am goddess in my head.

Can't believe how much your little ones nap! We were down to one nap a day for half an hour max at around 9 months and in the last month we have had more days without any naps at all than with one. I think we will soon be consistently nap free! It does take the stress out of planning days around ensuring DD sleeps and means she goes to bed at night easily but on the other hand it makes the days long and intense!

doli I think the grass is always greener no matter what! I'm in a job with great conditions but I occasionally miss the madness of my old job (even though I hated it and would never go back).

shattered I gave up a lot of things which have a lot of sugar in them and substituted it with better versions like substituting normal ketchup for some lovely natural sweeter based stuff for use at home but still pretty relaxed when out and about. However giving up refined sugar totally for the first few months made me check labels and I got a shock about how much is in some stuff that we used to eat like ready made pizzas and pasta sauces. It has been a very educationally journey from that perspective.

Blimey Wotta, you're not holidaying in Cov, are you?

I can say retail management for 3 years has completely scared me off long hours and shit pay. I'm gearing myself up to do long hours on shit pay soon, but at least it'll be on my terms and without some cricket loving, public school boy greasy regional manager telling me gems such as 'the customer doesn't know what they want, it's up to you to tell them what they need' and 'your favourite wine is whatever they've got in their hand'.

Nah Plonk. Just outside Warwick actually.

Well that's ok then. I thought that sounded a bit, erm, lacklustre.

rainbow ds is capable of doing a 4hr nap only in his cot though. Nursery days are from 1 hr to 2 abd half hrs. Like wotta it is pita trying to organise a full day out of the home. We end up with frazzled baby and parents.

Oh my god the tantrums. What is wrong with this child? She's discovered a new screech, and it's the worst noise I've ever heard especially at 2.15am

Yesterday I thought I might just put her in the she'd and me done with it. I try to deal with them calmly, but in a way that doesn't make her think they're a good idea. So no snacks here, unless of course hunger is causing said tantrum. I tend to ignore, and sit myself down to do something that looks really fun, she can never resist pulling apart duplo towers so I just go and build one of those and ignore her until she comes over and joins in, then we have a little cuddle and play.

Of course, if we're somewhere where a tantrum is embarrassing, I'll throw anything at her to keep her quiet. Chocolate, iPhone, dummy. Whatever works. So all my hard work the rest of the time is probably wasted.

Workaholic? DH married one. I am just not very good at switching off. Day 2 of being at home in the summer holidays (obv we were away for the first week) and I'm already bored, and heading over to my mum's. Heading up to Suffolk in the middle of next week though, for 10 days. It's the only place I ever manage to truly relax so hopefully I'll calm down a bit then. I'm currently a funny combination of bored but disinclined to actually do anything.

Eco. You poor thing. It's a very long time since I had tonsillitis but I do remember how hellish it is. I hope the abs kick in soon, have they given you painkillers? Get some codeine down you.

Blimey something, at 6 months we were still on 3 naps! We've just gone down to one as well, it's still a struggle to keep her going until after lunch, and actually our days are better if she manages a little power nap in the car or buggy in the morning. She tends to sleep for 3 hours in the afternoon, if she wakes up before she's had 2 hours we feel a bit hard done by so god knows how those of you with short nappers cope! Apparently I had a nap in the afternoon until I started school so fingers crossed she'll be like me!

What are the toddles all doing with milk nowadays? We still have approx 7flozz morning and bedtime, although not in a bottle. I don't really feel ready to get rid of either, the morning one is particularly useful because she wakes up at 6, but they don't have breakfast at nursery until 8, so it keeps her going until then. When I'm not at work I also really like not having to get up and straight away do breakfast. Milk buys us time and a chilled out morning. Is this terrible parenting?!?

I just wrote a mahoosive post and stupid Mumsnet lost it. It was definitely not my fat fingers.

Gerry love your tantrum tactics. I almost wrote tattits, and I'm sure they're nice too but that's another conversation for another time. Anyway, I love the idea of going to play with his toys and distracting him that way. How the hell have I not thought about this? Tantrums seem to send me into a blind panic because all that goes through my head is 'PLACATE HIM, NOW!' not 'ooh maybe I should help him work through this'. Idiot.

We've had a single nap a day ish since about 13 months old. He still occasionally has two, but I prefer one and he sleeps better at night if it's a single 2 hour nap. Yesterday we saw Something and the Thinglet and the two boys spent a few hours getting knocked over chasing the puppy around outside. DS slept til SIX THIRTY this morning. I can't tell you what a victory that is.

Milk? Hmm. It varies a lot. If I dare put it in a cup he gives me such a withering stare, as if to ask what on earth I think I'm doing. We have a bedtime bottle, anything between 3 and 8 flozzes. If we have a morning bottle he tends to drink about 7 flozzes, and I only offer it if he grumbles before 6, otherwise it's a couple of rice cakes and some water before a milky breakfast. Basically he will only drink morning milk in our bed, with a cuddle, and if we wake at a normal time I refuse by not offering it. That sounds quite bad! If I give milk too late then no breakfast gets eaten, which mucks up the entire day. I'd rather put his milk on his breakfast if it's late. Does that sound better?

I just did my first stint at the gym in about 6-7 weeks. OUCH.

We're on usually one nap, occasionally none. The one is anywhere between one and three hours, usually two. No nap days are like today, when she wakes at 6 after a crappy night's sleep for us both (teeth bothering her at the moment). I'm not getting up that early. So I gave her milk and calpol and told her to go back to sleep. Next thing I knew it was 10.50am. Longest lie in she's ever had. Normally an early milk day involves getting up around 9am and going to bed at 6pm.

As for milk, it only comes in bottles here, because she won't drink it from a cup. The bedtime bottle is seven ounces of formula (so she gets some vitamins and whatnot). Naptime bottle and any night time bottles are five ounces cows' milk. Seems to work.

Now, do I give her a very late breakfast, or a very early lunch?

We're usually one nap here but two if a car journey is involved because she can't stay awake for more than 20 car minutes! Our one nap is usually about 1.5hrs but an we're between 30 mins and 2hrs and ideally after lunch but often before.

As for milk she has around 100mls before bed most evenings and that's the lot. She's never liked it and I can't get her to have more so it's lots of yogurts and cheese instead in this house!

Rainbow is dd walking/running yet? I only ask because I found the toddle was the world's worst napper until she started getting proper exercise. I can pretty much guarantee 1-2 hours after lunch if she's spent an hour running round the field with the dogs in the morning. On the odd occasion that we are stuck in the house, I'd be lucky to get an hour. Also when you're out and about are you still using the sling? I take the pram, but let her walk along holding onto the back much of the time. We don't get anywhere quickly but it does give her some exercise.

On the milk front it's one 200ml (what's with the flozzes ladies.... this is the 21 century ) before bed, although sometimes she has 100ml mid morning. Mainly if DH is in charge. He finds milk easier to get his head round than snacks.

Good day today, I actually have something positive to say about medical treatment! I know.... wonders will never cease. Was at the endocrinologist clinic today for thyroid management, and was referred across to antenatal, where they booked me in for a foetal heart scan to check babax over, given the toddle has a heart issue. Now that is what I call excellent service.

The best news though, my Harmony test results are back, and the babax is in the clear for all three of the major chromosome defects . Such a relief. It does go to show the general irrelevance of statistics though. Statistically my chances of getting pregnant are worse than slim, but I've managed it, twice, first time it took 6 weeks, second a few months, and statistically my risk of Downs is 1 in 49, but both times all has been well. Statistics are horribly scary and ought to be banned, as we are all individuals with our own individual risks.

stormy what did you go for in the end? Breakfast or lunch? I think I'd have opted for a quick snack, and then a proper lunch at 12.

Congratulations, Doli, most excellent news. And fantastic all-round care too, so pleased to hear the dots are joining up. Did you find out the sex?

No one's told our bottles what century it is. They're all marked in ounces!

Very glad to hear all is well with babax. Now you're out of the scary zone, doli, are you going to start telling people in RL?

Went for breakfast but it was mostly rejected. No idea what happened over lunchtime because I went to see my mum. When I got back, Fartypants greeted me with a smile, a wave, and a perfectly pronounced "Hello, mama!"

That is great news doli.

Sorry I only know fl ozs. Ds still guzzels down milk. 9ozs at bedtime and 9ozs overnight. Nursery days I give him a bottle at 6.30am. Actually in this hot weather he prefers milk to solids.

I think canines are making an appearance soon as ds was up too many times last night. Only 4 teeth to go yay!

Sorry I mean another 8 to go!

doli fantastic new about results and your care - so pleased you beat the statistical odds on all fronts! DD has been walking and running for over a month now and it made no difference to naps and sleep - in fact she dropped all naps during the last month at the same time as upping her energy output! At the moment she is outside for about 75 per cent of everyday running around playing. We do take a sling with us when out and about ( a fab toddler connecta) but it stays in my rucksack for the vast majority of the time and DD walks until tired - it's actually brilliant because I have two hands free to walk with her as the only thing I ever have on me is a small rucksack (with some nappies, a potty, snacks and the sling) - love the freedom it gives us.

As for milk we are still breastfeeding and DD always has a big sleepy feeds morning and night and then usually one to three short feeds over the course of the day. Who knows how much milk she is getting!