March 2013 time for shoes!

[Plonkysaurus]

New thread ladies...

I didn't even notice it wasn't Friday Days are irrelevant around here. Each one is like groundhog day weekday or weekend!

Anyone started preparing for clock change at weekend? Two months ago I would have silently laughed at such a suggestion. Yesterday and today we've done everything 15 minutes early and tomorrow we'll do things half an hour early.

Ah and I really thought I was winning this morning. Up with the lark, catching worms - I even managed to get some work done at 7.30 am and dropped DS off half an hour early so I can get some exercise done before I fetch him later. If only I could get the right day!

Eco I didn't even know the clocks were changing. Bollocks. We're going to be at the in laws so maybe we'll be able to stimulate him enough that he won't notice. Now. Are they going forwards or backwards? Clock changes confuse the hell out of me, two years ago I was opening the shop two hours early.

I'm starting to feel like I'm not winning as much. You're all still sexy though.

hi plonk. I get confused too. back in the day when we didn't have children we used to just go with flow on the Sunday, it didn't matter really. I believe it's spring forward fall back which makes sense if you can tolerate the Americanism. I hope that means by bringing routine forward we're doing the right thing.

eco do you think it's worth doing it? I haven't been organised enough but you're right it is probably a good idea. I admit I was much more worried last year- then he was up all night anyway!!!

Cantturn great to hear from you, I think we are all collectively thinking of you all the time and wishing ds well. I'm so glad it hasn't spread, that's very positive. Have a really happy birthday with lots of lovely and good luck for the surgery.

Eco yup control freak . We're winging it here. Madam is a bit random with her waking time so I very much doubt it will throw her schedule off. Actually to be more accurate she is very random with her entire schedule. We have a routine but it is set by the waxing and waning of the moon (or so it seems) rather than GMT.

Everyone else who is feeling ugh. I'm right there with you, so solidarity! PILs went home last night as they aren't retired to have to get back to work, and DH has taken over today. I'm not particularly tough soldiering through it, I haven't had a choice. To be honest I feel a little let down. I've been really unwell for ages, but DH kept telling me I 'looked better', and hadn't let me have even one day in bed. He always has work calls, or he needs to wash the car and take it out, or get a haircut or go for a run or he's tired. He's a brilliant dad, but hasn't quite grasped the concept of not being able to hand her back and have a break. Mums don't get a break do they?!!! However, whinge over, he's got it now and it doing everything today whether he wants to or not

Gerry thanks for being a star and offering to help

Eco Plonky hope you're enjoying the house hunting! Good luck with it. I guess one advantage of the market moving fast is lots of new sellers are popping up so there is new stock around. I've only just weaned myself off my rightmove habit, and we last moved 8 years ago. It's beyond addictive. As is PrimeLocation sold prices list, which has got infinitely more interesting since the government (very rightly) blocked the stamp duty loophole where all the really interesting places ended up held off shore hence didn't appear in the data. We paid the stamp tax btw. DH may have done well in life but he's honest. One of his better points

Not much else to report other than to say I can breathe really quite well, I've been told by DH he'll go nuts if I so much as try to sneak in a bit of housework, and the tiddly toddler is going absolutely mad running about like a little chimp. Very very funny and knackering

Forgive my stupidity but I have another clocks change question. If they're going forward (IE we lose an hour) wouldn't you be better off doing everything later, not earlier? I'm mega confused now. Aaaah I was doing so well before 8am!

Worse I hoped that hadn't been the case, that your DH was doing everything he could do make sure you got better quicker. DP also has a blind spot where my health is concerned - every time we're both ill I am apparently less ill than he is because I get on with things around the house and anything to do with DS. The result is that I end up having a big paddy and a cry and disappear off the moment he feels well enough to do everything I was doing. It's shit. Anyway, glad DH has stepped up and is now letting you have a rest. Do you think MIL had Stern Words?

I'm not enjoying the househunting one bit. We don't know where we stand. We're relying on a windfall that was expected to appear in September, so unless it can appear a damn sight sooner, we are, in youth speak, f*cked. I am outright refusing to move twice in a year, I cannot and will not do it. So I'm trying to make this money appear by July. I'm trying to make this as attractive as possible to DP who would rather take our time and save a bigger deposit, so I've been helpfully reminding him that if we move now we aren't giving another landlord 8000 towards their own mortgage, we can sell both cars and get one amazing one, we will have more income etc. He is a bloody brick wall but I think FIL might've talked some sense in to him.

Having thought about clocks quite a lot now I have concluded that you're right, Eco. As you were.

Ahem.

Haha plonk

Forgot to say cantturn have been thinking of you lots and pleased it hasn't spread, hope they get it all out easily and he recovers speedily. Puts my heart in my mouth thinking if my DS having sthg like that so really hope he does well xx

plonk you just made me check! I got an email from sleep lady with details. She suggests moving things quarter of an hour earlier starting a week before hand so that 'by time clocks change their schedule will coincide'. Someone not house hunting with some brain to spare will clarify for us soon

Haha plonky is as plonky does.

I'm glad we've done no prep. I've been trying to figure out how to get him to have a later bedtime and getting up time, perhaps BST will provide?

Right. Say dc normally goes to bed at 7pm. 7 on Sunday would be 6 if the clocks didn't change. So you want everything pulling back an hour so they're ready for bed at 6pm (current timezone).

Me, I'll just get DD up when she gets up. She normally naps at 11.30, but that will feel like 10.30 to her, so I'll push the nap ahead and make sure she's down by 12.30 (new timezone). Let her sleep as late as new 2.30, bed at new 7pm. Should work. I hope.

Thanks plonky/Stormy great to know

All this clock talk is confusing my greatly. There are lots of numbers on clocks and numbers aren't my strong point. I'm going to stare absentmindedly into space which is my usual work stance while I figure it out.

cantturn I've been thinking about you too. I'm glad things are moving forward for you and things are being done to help DS. And the chocolate fudge cake sounds right up mine and the toddleSome's street.

worse so glad you're on the mend too. And well done for getting DH to step up. DP is the same; when he's ill, the world is ending. Which is now. Coughing and spluttering and insisting that I get him water in the middle of the night yet perfectly well enough to saunter off to a wedding reception tonight. I can't complain though because 1. He's not complained too much and 2. I don't want to go to the reception anyway.

any I've always done bath and bedtime so I'm right there with you. Whenever I ask DP, he'll find something else to do instead. It's become mine and DS's thing now though, it's my favourite time of day. Although, I wouldn't turn down an offer from him to do it every now and then.

plonk you got my hopes up that it was Friday. I'm cross at you now. But i guess since you called me a sexy bastard, I can forgive you!

We officially have a walker now. And it's bloody adorable.

Hello and to everyone else. Give me about an hour and I'm sure I'll be offering instead!

It's not confusing my greatly, I don't have a greatly. It is confusing me greatly. See, I told you I was confused.

Ha ha! You lot are amusing my greatly!

Did you survive that snow, Pud?

I ran away to work where it is sunny. Don't know what dh is contending with at home... Although DS slept 9:30-12 this morning! He's been eating like a horse so I suspect growth spurt.

cantturn just wanted to say it is nice to hear from you. I hope toddletobecannturn has a lovely birthday. Your happy birthday plans sound perfect and the cake even more so.

I will catch up with all you chatterboxes over the weekend. I can't keep up on my work days.

Hello wise women who I trust not to give me a sugar coated answer. Can I ask, how is your confidence generally these days? Compared to say, three years ago, before TTC, before having a baby? I'm interested if you have any thoughts.

Eco, for me it depends on the context. In certain situations, much less so. For example, a trivial thing is I've completely forgotten how to push my way to the bar in a busy pub. I used to be a pro! Professionally, about the same as I was before. When it comes to meeting new people, I think I'm better now. In terms of body image, I feel better now but I'm much slimmer than when I got pregnant. I think overall, I'm more confident though. I'm less worried about what people think of me, and I don't sweat the small stuff as much as I used to. I feel like I've got the balance of my life better than ever before. I'm not sure how much of all that is motherhood, how much is working part time instead of full time (the fact that dd is easy, sleeps through, and has long naps means parenting is easier than work for me). Some of it might be the weight loss. Some might be the recent job offer. And some might just be approaching my thirties, as I've heard you do tend to feel more comfortable in your own skin when you grow up a bit!

I'm not sure if this answers your question? Are you feeling blue?

Thanks gerry, yes it's complex. Many different areas to consider. I wonder if those of you who have properly gone back to work might be the more confident ones? I feel a bit identityless if that makes sense. One minute I'm a crazy busy dabbler of many things with stuff to say and next I'm a mother. I feel that's impacted my confidence negatively. I feel very old and unattractive, like having a baby has aged me prematurely and turned me into a mumsy type (I realise that I control that to an extent). I do however have more confidence in myself as a power house and independent unit capable of many things and ok trusting my instincts. Can't think of any other positives. I feel I might need to shake myself up to stop the rot setting in. Pedicure, not getting into pyjamas after my early evening bath, finding something to replace my hobbies down here in Bedfordshire, sending out some job applications, making time to chat to friends on phone rather than screen communications. That sort of thing.
I think these thinkings are in part due to having a quick read of the thread 'are you happier since having children'. I don't think I am. Yet. I think I've come to conclusion I'm too selfish to be a content/good mother.

Gerry I am really cheered to hear that you feel better or equally as good in some ways. You go girl but remember you looked lovely when I saw you pre weight loss so don't go too crazy now

Eco my confidence with strangers is better (I never did give much of a toss what people thought and now even less so) but my confidence with DH and close friends as such is worse. I feel I've lost a bit of my identity and so people that knew before DD I feel I've lost my place with a bit other than my very closest and most wonderful friends but strangers I feel I've gained some status in society by being a mum somehow, if that makes any sense. My body confidence is fine with clothes on and pants with clothes off which I would expect is pretty normal for a mum of a toddler.

I was reading the same thread eco. Nearly commented on it. I decided that for me, I wasn't happier until I went back to work. Being a SAHM would never give me what I need. Holidays coming up, and I'm looking forward to time with dd but I'm also sure that I'll be pleased when I go back after 2 weeks. And, surprisingly I don't really feel the working mum guilt either, I thought I would. I've come to the conclusion that I will always need something intellectual to validate me. That's a product of my education, and explains why I'm so competitive when I watch tv quiz shows...

The move is bound to make you feel wobbly. As is the fact that you have made the big sacrifice of moving away from a place you loved in order for your DH to advance his career. I'm not sure if I ever said it, but I certainly thought it. That is an amazing thing for you to have done. I think I would struggle to be so selfless, and mr eco is very lucky to have you.

I think I am overall more confident now. Or at least that when I am out with ds he is the centre of attention and maybe I hide behind that? I've never been particularly confident. One on one I'm fine but growing up I was always a wallflower.

I'm confident now because I have to be. I used do a lot of gearing up to make phone calls etc because I'd rather stick my head in the hand than talk to a stranger. But once you've done it a few times it's not so bad. I guess like Betty I also feel as though I have a stake in society now. Before I just felt like a chancer who had somehow managed to get a semi decent job and bag a good looking fella. Now I feel that I'm allowed an opinion, even if it's silly and muttered almost silently. I have little in common with most of my friends. They're childless though and live nowhere near me. I know no one in the town I've now lived in for 3 years, and I have stopped caring.

Eco, I think you're a very warm, charismatic person. That's certainly how you come across here. I've no doubt you'll find new buddies in your new home, you'll get a job at some stage and find a new balance. Stop worrying about being prematurely aged, because you're not. You're kind of in a limbo aren't you with house, job etc? The constant is dd and the rest of your life is variable. It's nothing to worry about though because you seem to be balls out in your approach to life, and I certainly can't see you becoming Just A Mum (even if you happen to be a particularly fab mum).

After much rambling can I offer you a big hug?

The worst thing I've found is that some friends just disappear. I have a group of really old friends from school. Because of the nature of the school, and because we grew up in the commuter belt, most of them live and work in London now. They're all friends I have been close to since at least my teens, some even younger. To so many of them, I dropped off the radar the day I had dd. Possibly because I haven't done the London thing, possibly because I'm the first to do the marriage and kids thing. If I think too much about how little I figure in their thoughts now, or how they all see each other all the time and I never get invited, I feel very sad indeed. I've got other wonderful friends who will no doubt be friends for life, but 5 years ago, I would have expected this lot to be friends for life as well.