November 2012 - The exciting all new all singing all dancing fred

[StuntNun]

Previous thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/postnatal_clubs/1983613-November-2012-What-is-going-on-with-these-babies

None of that matters anyway. It makes not a jot of difference as to when we plan a baby for. Its either next April or the April after.

It changes nothing. I just need to decide which to go for. Heart or head.

If we had made the decision based purely on finances, R wouldn't have even got to a 12 week scan. As things have turned out now, i wonder if that would have been the best option all round. But the thought absolutely sickens me

pidj it must feel awful to think that, and I'm sure it is just fleeting thoughts which will fade as you move on.

Detective best laid plans and all that. I'd follow your heart. There are always reasons not to have children. If people only waited until they thought they could afford them I reckon there'd be a sharp population decline.

pidj how could it possibly be the best option? R is wanted and loved, that's the most important thing of all.

det in that case I agree you should follow your heart.

With both dp and I not in stable employment at the time, if you look at it purely financially then we shouldn't have had him. We should have waited until we were back on our feet (between us we've had 7 jobs and 6 redundancies in just over 2 years, not counting temp work) and were in a position to buy a house rather than coping in this two bedroom flat. I got no maternity pay as I don't earn enough to pay NI on just my youth work, was kicked off JSA at 29 weeks as unfit to work but because I was working didn't qualify for Maternity allowance apart from what replaced my wages. If I'd been fully unemployed I'd have had £129 a week for 6 months/a year (can't remember now).

Obviously in the real world there is absolutely no fucking way I would countenance a termination unless for medical reasons. But looked at with pure logic, we went with head over heart.

If we waited until we could afford kids, we would still be waiting.

I don't mind admitting I had a termination in my twenties when I had neither the money nor the stable loving relationship in which to raise a child. I thought I'd regret it when I met Jonas but I still don't. In the same situation I would do the same again, in fact having J has convinced me it was the right decision as Motherhood is so full on and you need a rock solid relationship. I was only 5 weeks along so it was very little difference in practice to having the morning after pill - am sure surgical abortions are much more upsetting, and a termination is never ideal but after contraceptive failure and when you know you are not in a fit position to raise a child then I am thankful there is an option that doesn't involve coat hangers or falling down the stairs.

Det if you only need an EDD for April that's much more manageable! I had visions of you mainlining raspberry leaf tea, curry and shagging a pineapple on 30th April if you had another overstayer!!!! As for the loan idea - I think I'd rather get a loan for a baby than a sofa but it does put an awful lot of pressure on you as main bread winner and if there were any complications delaying your return to work it could be vair stressy. Could DP not do some study in the interim to up his earning potential so the pressure is off you a bit???

YW under those circumstances I most likely would have made the same decision. However, R arrived to a stable relationship and a warm roof over his head so no matter the other shit going on there was no way I wasn't going to proceed with the pregnancy. He's just a couple of years early

Me and dh plan to wait until I have finished this bit of my training, then see whether I get a 5yr training post. That will make a difference as to whether or not a baby is an option.

The icecream was not freaky eater proof. F is not a happy bunny. Tell me quiche, how can I address this with the nursery? It is the 3rd occasion in 6m. Each time, the manager assures me it won't happen again but it has. The fault has been with the chef the 1st time, deputy manager the 2nd, and temp chef this time. If f was anaphylactic, she could have died 3 times. I know she's not, but how, constructively, can I stop this happening again?

With the utmost of respect ladies, I am not sure discussing terminations on this thread is a particularly good idea. I think it is an extremely emotive subject and could cause great upset.

I also think that whilst reproducing is ideally best done in a secure relationship, there are a number of us who are single parents, not necessarily through choice, and those mums are awesome x

I am struggling with the same thing BP and I provide all the food! It should be easy. I considered sending him with a shirt saying 'do not feed me bla bla bla' but have instead repeated my advice. If it happens again I will threaten to move both my kids to another nursery if they cannot ensure his safety.

BP I provide all J's food and, touch wood (!) my nursery has never f*cked up. This actually is a serious issue as they don't have the safe guarding in place to prevent potential fatalities - what if it were a child with a nut allergy? I'd go in and have a serious chat with the manager. They've failed a most basic duty of care - ie not harming a child in their care. Yes thank goodness F isn't anaphylactic but if their attitude is that a non fatal allergy can just be ignored or handled carelessly then that's . I wonder how much of little pig's sleeplessness could be down to what they are feeding her?

VQ point well made - I should say that I know for me I couldn't have done this alone but I do utterly respect those that are. I only mentioned it because a few times when folks have sounded a bit less than happy at being preggers and everyone has piled in celebrating - that's not always what people need to hear. We've all been thru so much together I hope we wouldn't judge.

What reasons are they giving bp? I suspect you may need to become a bit firmer with them and suggest informing ofsted if they continue to make such errors. You are completely right in that F goes through hours of unnecessary discomfort which is bad enough. Something in writing which is firm, fair and gives specific details of what you need to happen. Ask for a response in writing.

Could you provide your own food for her? Would that solve the issue or introduce new ones?

Can I share my crisps with you all in quichely togetherness and solidarity? Xxx

pig a letter. Write it down. A semi formal complaint.

vq I agree that the single mums on here rock. Terminations, I am vvv pro choice. Won't go into details but, like euthanasia, I have a massive problem understanding what the anti's have to say.

Gosh Pass, sharing your crisps? Are you feverish?

Are they dairy free crisps?

We had a crisp related meltdown at tea. Jonas has been off his food for a week (he's either reacting to me having dairy or has DHs throat infection) and he knows there is a packet of Tescos own brand prawn cocktail shells in the bread bin and was going nuts shrieking "DAT, DAT!!!!!" and pointing at them when I was evilly trying to feed him vegetables and pasta.

I should preen here and say I won! He ate the pasta. and then had crisps for pudding

pass crisps? What crisps? Which flavour? Let me live vicariously...

Well we are supposedly celebrating tonight, but DD1 has insisted that DH falls asleep with her. So, have got a bottle of champagne in front of me. Opened. One glass each. Do I,

(A) assume he's going to fall asleep and finish it?
(B) drink my fill and put the rest in the fridge.
(C) assume he won't fall asleep and save it for fun champagne fuelled naughtiness.

Ps. It's a magnum.

Pps. We deserve it.

yw dairy free crisps, if you get the right potato, are easy to make with a mandolin in a frying pan.

A magnum? Isn't that very big? I would make a start drinking it, get naked, and wait for him on the sofa. But I am a tart

i regularly give R crisps or breadsticks or whatever as finger food while shovelling in the healthy mush, thought it was a good way to encourage him to eat

VQ me too except you can see straight onto my sofa through the window so would just take the whole lot to bed

Drink it all. Eat all the crisps.

Stick 2 fingers up at DH if he complains .

O has had crisps once, he loved them . He also had some haribo off DS1 the other day (who by the way, is brilliant for always checking if O can have something before giving it to him ) and loved those too.

I'm in a bit of a meal rut for us all. I need to shake it up. Change in foods will help with weight loss too.

I want to lose 2.5lb this week, as I will have made it to 4st loss. I'm still feeling mega fat though, and not liking how I look. :( Feel like I've been doing this forever now. Bored already!

BP The nursery (and yours VQ) are being very irresponsible. I'm afraid I might not have the best of reactions had this happened to us. I'm not good dealing with sleep issues as it is - so for someone to a) cause my baby unnecessary suffering and pain and b) fuck up sleep, would be getting a very strongly worded complaint. And I'd be looking at other options. Once is a mistake, 3 times is a pisstake!

I've done that Pidj one mouth of main, one mouth of dessert. If it means he eats it, it's all good!