December 2012: 1st birthdays and 1st/2nd Christmasses

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Oh Equimum what a nightmare.

DH has taken the DC out for an hour or so to let me get on with things. Although that means tidying the utter mess that they made of the sitting room and hall before my Dad and his girlfriend come this afternoon, and dealing with several loads of washing rather than resting!

But I think DH has arranged to work tomorrow, and for his mum to have the DC because he drove her to Winchester on Monday to save her getting the train in the awful weather. So hopefully a nice relaxing day coming up!

Bloody hell equi!

Willyou oh no to all the noisy presents. We were lucky, H got loads of toys but they were smallish ones that have volume control on.

2blessed i can't believe your family thought it was ok to go in DS's bedroom whilst he was asleep. I think thats just weird.

Equi, OMG could you ebay them? And let MiL sulk she'll soon realise shes being pathetic.

Beasty i hope you manage to get some sleep tonight.

We assembled H's toys yesterday! Who knew that was a job that could cause so many arguments. Ha i think next time one of us can do it while the other one is out of the house.

Nutella are you enjoying being back in England?

WL hows T's eating now? H has barely eaten at all the last few days.

Wow Equi that is a lot of vehicles! Maybe you should start a hire company or something

Sounds like a tough night Beasty. Will be sending some sleepy dust your way for tonight.

Hope you managed to get to work safely Spotty.

Have spent a fair bit of today sorting out to make space for all the Christmas toys. Have got one bag of stuff they've grown out of to donate and another bag full of stuff that just needs to be binned and that's so far. DH's stellar contribution to this process? Moaning that "having" to occupy his own children for a bit was eating into his valuable time of doing precisely fuck all and placing a book, a puzzle and some other random object in a discarded gift bag then putting it in the corner. In what world is that tidying? Sorry to vent but his manchild routine is starting to wear a bit thin.

Goodness equi that's ridiculous.

My mum bought both dc matching presents so we now have two matching cuddly reindeer, two penguins and two fleece blankets. She got them some other stuff that's lovely and the blankets are lovely but I'm not a fan of cuddly toys as it is!

I hope you get your relaxing day Beasty

Having matching toys must be a bit frustrating Spotty, especially when there are so many lovely things around.

I'd leave him to do the sorting next time Ispy. DH and so usually do better when we're working on completely separate tasks in different parts of the house .

Gosh, yes, I could hire the vehicles out for parties! Especially the two that are at least 2 years too old for DS. We will sell one of the bikes.

That's a lot of cars and bikes Equi. I feel a bit better about my glut of large toys now!

I'm not a cuddly toy fan Spotty. They do nothing but collect dust. Evil GMiL bought him the same enormous bunny for Christmas that her daughter (MiL) bought him as a birth present (ie when he was born. is there a term for this?). But she did buy him a very sweet m&s jumper too.

I shall see you at the tip Ispy as we have a tonne of stuff we've got to get rid of!

Sleep training is definitely working.

Day1: 44 m crying
Day2: 24 m
Day3: 14 m
Day4: 7 m
Day5: 2 m

Wahoo! Here's hoping there's no crying tomorrow.

Will you that's excellent how are you doing this??
We need to do some sort of sleep training as if FS doesn't fall asleep during or just after his bottle he will not set lie unless we cuddle him in our bed or lie with him til he falls asleep. If we put him in his cot he doesn't cry but he jus stands up holding the cot bars shouting Dadda. He just won't lie down and sleep even if ridiculously tired. Any tips would be gratefully received.

Sorry to hear about useless presents. Sometimes people but what they like themselves rather than thinking of the child- as in the multiple unsuitable vehicles for Equis kids!!

Will you that's excellent how are you doing this??
We need to do some sort of sleep training as if FS doesn't fall asleep during or just after his bottle he will not set lie unless we cuddle him in our bed or lie with him til he falls asleep. If we put him in his cot he doesn't cry but he jus stands up holding the cot bars shouting Dadda. He just won't lie down and sleep even if ridiculously tired. Any tips would be gratefully received.

Sorry to hear about useless presents. Sometimes people but what they like themselves rather than thinking of the child- as in the multiple unsuitable vehicles for Equis kids!!

Well, DH has redeemed himself somewhat by agreeing that nightimes cannot go with N being basically attached to me so night-weaning has begun. I am sat downstairs mnetting while DH is upstairs settling N. His theory is that N will be fine if he can't see me, like he is in the day. I'm not convinced but certainly willing to give it a go.

Also, on Sunday I'm meeting up with some old school friends. I was going to do my usual of driving there, sticking to orange juice and driving back home. We are however meeting in a pub which is literally at the end of the road where my parents live. It is so tempting to stay over at their house so I can have a or two, and crucially an uninterrupted nights sleep. Obviously I wouldn't do it if I thought N would just be screaming all night, but if DH's theory is right I think I'll give it a go. Tonight is therefore a dry run. Wish us luck!!

ISpy GET DRUUUUUUUUNK! Go out have fun, sleep at your mum and dad's and they will probably be so glad to have you that they'll probably lay on breakfast too!

Maryland - Rule no. 1 you must be fucking desperate! I was as DS had forgotten how to sleep at all, took 3h per night to go down and woke every 20 mins. I tried rocking, shushing, patting, singing, swinging, cosleeping and boring him to sleep with dull stories!

I give him his last feed in a bright room, give him his toothbrush and read him 2 stories. I say "night night" and give him a kiss. Then I place in cot.

He starts screaming as soon as I put him in cot. It's awful! I leave him 2 minutes, then go in stroke his hair, say time to sleep, kiss his forehead and lay him back down. He doesn't stop crying. Then I leave him for 5 minutes.

Repeat stroking, etc, lay him down again and leave for 7 mins. Repeat sequence again and then subsequent gaps are 10 mins.

It's hard BUT he'll then sleep for 5-12 hours, self settling as necessary. I have my evenings back and he's so much better rested.

It will be one of the hardest things you ever do though and I was so against cc until J slept 6am-9am 2 days running and nothing else . I was on my knees.

Ispy i hope it works tonight so that you can go out and enjoy yourself with friends. I agree with Willyou get Drunk if you can, no alcohol has passed my lips since DP's birthday in June

Willyou, thats interesting to read. If J was stood up in his cot when you went back into the room would you lie him down?

I've been convinced H has been coming down with something today. Shes not been her usual self and i think i'm right shes got a very slight temp of 37.3 which i know is nothing but she feels like a radiator next to me. Something isn't right my mummy instincts are kicking in, but i'm not sure whether they are reliable instincts yet

Trust your mummy instincts hales. I'd start to get twitchy with that temp too.

Reading the sleep training stories with interest and a notepad. DS can be put in the cot and goes straight to sleep at nursery but when I do it he laughs and stands up.

Fx for you ispy

Want to be clear my family would never hang out in DS' room, awake or asleep! To be fair when I told dp about it the next day he rang his dsis (no dc and in 40's) straight away to reiterate what I had said and spoke to his DS1 too. He is good at backing me up. Its just always something though. Luckily I don't really have any stress from my family. As far as ds is concerned they are quiet supporters if that makes sense.

2blessed that's the same as us!!!

Good on your DP sorting that issue out :)

Willyou we're not desperate as such, I just know I need to get him out if that habit of feeding to sleep and now he's 1 more so..

We have established that N does not need boob or mummy to settle therefore it looks like Sunday might is on . Problem is, once he wakes up he refuses to go back in his cot and needs to be held by someone. My way of dealing it is to feed him back to sleep then to co-sleep with him feeding as and when during the night. Last night, he woke at 2am. DH did manage to get him back to sleep but he refused to lie either in his cot vor in the bed next to DH. They therefore ended up sat on the sofa with N asleep in DH's arms and DH unable to get any more sleep due to safety with being on the sofa. So, overall better than him screaming but not ideal. We are going to have to seriously think about sleep training.

Ds hates me he only wants dp. Cries and crawls away if I try to pick him up!

He may well be feeling insecure about daddy's love for him Spotty and needing to reassure himself. He obviously has no such doubts about you

You think pidj? Yesterday I went to work and left him with dp whereas he usually goes to my step mum

It's one theory :) it's pretty normal for toddlers to go through phases of wanting one particular person, it's a way of exerting control over their environment. R will only eat certain things if he gets to choose which piece from a plate - sandwiches, orange segments etc. He's learning that he can control stuff, it doesn't just happen around him. Tantrums are next when they try to control stuff we don't want them to, I'm trying to counteract it by offering choice on my terms - jeans or dungarees; wellies or shoes; wrap or buckles; breadstick or rice cake etc...

ispy we're the same with dh settling O, although no co sleeping at night. We're still anti sleep training for now, but O currently goes from last milk at 7am through the day with no milk and settled by dh, with me feeding at 2am -ish wake up and again at 6/7.. Some gentle repetition of efforts towards the cot may get him used to it without too much force (although in our case took longer than sleep training does I think.)

Pidj may have something there. O is favoring my dm at the moment over me on occasion! Hrpmh. He has also hit tantrum phase early it seems - over things like me not letting him shred my purse . I tell him why et I have/haven't done whatever he's cross about, let him lie down and strop on the floor but otherwise ignore him, and the strop ends in less than a minute.

ispy glad DH is being supportive, hope he manages to push the training to the cot though! T is accepting less boob and a quick cuddle before going back down now so def progress. I might try no boob tonight. hales her eating is still quite hit and miss but always less than she used to eat. I think it's teeth related.
spotty my older 2 tend to have a 'love the one your with approach' so if DH has been with them all day they want him and if they've been with me they want me. T is still a massive mummy's girl for now. She's happy with anyone until she sees me.
Got to do a bit of tidying and cleaning before tomorrow lunch time as we're the base for my mums birthday celebrations. There's a strange smell in the lounge currently - I suspect someone's spilt something I haven't discovered yet - thank god for febreeze!
DH is off all next week and I'm only working Monday so I'm planning a bit of a stuff cull.

pidj choices are an excellent way to help prevent tantrums and foster in dependant thinking.
utopian your little man is doing it all early! Think youve got a clever un there. T gets cross when she can't have stuff but is easily distracted for now.

We do choices with dd but I think ds is still too young for that. He does really scream and lie on the floor if you take something away/tell him no though. So different to dd!

Hope you find where that smell is coming from WL!

I'm so tired I'm in bed!

Spotty they're fickle little buggers aren't they? DS likes whoever gets up with him that day but has recently started crying for daddy when he comes in from work. So if he sees him but DP can't hold him constantly (usually because he's covered in oil or diesel) then DS goes crazy.

Ha clever little boy you have Utopian. We have paddies but a quick fake sneeze (bloody when santa got stuck up the chimney!) usually distracts him.

Sleep training going well tonight. Bit if whinging when I put him in cot but no crying so far!

I have 8 days of maternity leave left where has the time gone?

We've had such a fantastic Christmas that I am back to being stupidly broody just 6 months to work before we can try again. Just need to try to book a wedding now.

Spotty i started getting R to choose his clothes before he was pulling up in his cot, maybe 7 months? I hold 2 items out and he grabs one! Sometimes he doesn't grab either so i pick a different two so he picks his top, trousers and shoes, i then put a vest and some socks on to coordinate. He picks the coat and shoes when we go out unless we need something specific eg waterproof and wellies for the park. He also gets a choice of sling unless i need a particular one (wrap for naps, buckles for when he'll be up and down). I also leave the toys accessible so he can choose those, he's been able to pass me the book he wants read for a few months now. I've done a mix of spoon and bl weaning so plenty of choice there too. He's tantrummed for 3-4 months now, brief ones when he's told not to do something like chew the remote and bigger ones when he's tired and needs a cuddle but i need to get my coat and sling on and can't get to him immediately it's just him telling me how he feels - the No ones i let him get on with it for a few seconds then hold my arms out for a cuddle, tell him i love him but x is dangerous and distract with a toy or song!