October 2013 Bus Graduates - Routines?! Our babies clearly haven't read the manual.

[Shirehobbit]

Apologies for the x-posting that meant there's no thread link in the last thread .
I'll start this one and hope people find it.

You can refuse weigh ins!

I get H weighed every 2 weeks ATM but only cos I find it interesting seeing what he weighs. 2 weeks ago at 5+5 he was 11lb 13oz but he's ff and they accused me of over feeding even tho he only takes 4oz which is less than my friends 7lb12oz baby who is the same age as him. Silly health visitors!!

I think one of the many great things I've learnt through this group is that there is a massive range of 'normal' in both our pregnancies and amongst our newborns. It's been so reassuring!
I think there is so much information and advice floating around out there, that in our naturally anxious, new-mother states, we can forget to trust our instincts.

emmo and purplegiraffe I am huge worrier about cot death and SIDS. I tried to Google stuff to make me feel better, which didn't work at all! It doesn't help that I am co-sleeping and so if anything happened to A then I would blame myself. I always said I wouldn't co-sleep as it's more dangerous, but little did I realise that my little girly would have other ideas!

untitled I am definitely feeling like this of late. I am in pain at some point every day, be it fissures, boob ache, headache, general ache from bfing for such long periods in one position, tiredness etc etc. I've mentioned it on FB, but today I woke up after a lovely 5 hour sleep with incredibly sore boobs (during the day she feeds every hour if she can). A was still sleeping, so I woke her for a feed to try and drain them a bit and then ended up staying awake for 3 hours with the cold shivers and hot sweats. Worried I might have mastitis again. Obviously I wouldn't have this problem if I was ff, and it does make me wonder if that would be an option, but then I also feel like I've come this far (9 weeks) bfing, and I'd like to continue! Sorry for the rant there, but today I am very much feeling like you expressed in your post!

My mum came to visit today and Thomas either cried or slept the whole time which is a shame as he was so smiley and lovely this morning. At least he is nice to cuddle when asleep.

Shire I want to "like" your comment.

shire that's a great link. The problems it highlights are true for all growth charts. The old growth charts (based mostly on ff babies) are often used where I work and honestly that causes much less harm than misinterpretation and miscommunication. J has an appt with the HV I like on Wednesday and it can't decide if I just want to refuse the weighing and talk properly about feeding and reflux, which she does always try to talk about, to be fair to her.

For those who haven't read the website, some issues are hcps/parents aiming for the 50th centile, aiming to follow a centile perfectly, supplanting when growth may not be that big if a problem, without weighing risks vs benefits, and weighing too frequently.

Roxvox I said the same but when they won't go down for anything what are you supposed to do. I try not to co sleep unless I have to but when I do I take comfort from the fact that they don't actually tell you not to unless you are smoking or drinking...

In other news I meant to tell you what the breast feeding councillor said. She thought the fighting it might be to do with the fact that after 6 weeks they have to start working harder for it and don't like it but as my letdown is still really strong I think it is more to do with the fact that it is too fast and she keeps choking on it. She did suggest using shields to calm it down which is a real pain and generally ends up with milk everywhere and also just leaning back and raising her up a bit at the beginning of the feed and letting gravity slow down the flow. This does actually seem to work on occasion, depends how full I am.

giraffe I also seem to have a forceful let down, especially when I'm full. I use the laying back slightly technique and it does work. (Not too keen when he pulls off during let down mind!)

ana my HV is guilty of wanting babies on the 50th. She said it was good he was following his line (25th) but seem rather pleased when he started to move up toward the 50th saying "oh I like babies that are on 50rh for height and weight"! If she's a HV you like then maybe it's ok and any comments just take with a lunch of salt. You're doing a fab job :-)

Pinch of salt obv.. A lunch of salt would be pretty foul!

Hello all, I am reading but I tend to read during feeds, which means that I can't remember any of the detail 2 minutes later. Or is that just because of having the baby?!

Someone was saying about constipation - me too and I'm going to mention it to doc at 8 week check on Monday. It's agony. I'm also not eating enough fibre or drinking enough - I was never one for pints of water before C arrived and even though I'm easily drinking three times as much, I guess it's not enough!

Interesting that so many of you are getting hassle and/or conflicting opinions about weight gain. You all seem to be seeing a lot of your HVs. I have seen mine once since C was born - should I be going to the clinics or something? Are they going to put me on a register for no-shows ? C has been weighed once since his 2 week HV visit, by me at the self-weigh station in our local childrens' centre. I imagine that he will be weighed again on Monday. In any event, loads of wet and dirty nappies so I'm not concerned.

Finally, I bit the bullet and went to get my trial kit for re-usable nappies. We've tried two so far, both have leaked so he got wet. DH was apparently willing to be persuaded but has lost interest since he found out about the practical side of them. But my main objection is that they are huuuuge and C is such a lovely slim thing that they look awful - he looks like a bottom-heavy sumo wrestler. Is that terrible of me?

MrsHN my HV is a student working independently at the end if her studies. I'm not sure why she keeps booking review appointments every two or three weeks but I suspect it had something to do with her being very keen. Don't worry if you see them less. As you can see there are problems with seeing them too often.

Also I've started itching to use the cloth nappies I paid a lot of money for. I made it hard for myself by deciding I would make my own absorbent inserts. I cut the fabric this week but now have to find the time to sew them. Not sure when as I don't think you can use a sewing machine with a sling on. I have horrible fears that after all this they'll leak or cause a rash, DH will insist on pampers, and all this time and money will be wasted. I chose a system (gnappies) that is meant to be very slim so I'm hoping it works.

And Hayle they made the 50th centile a dotted line on the new growth charts, specifically to discourage people from aiming for it.

purplegiraffe that's very true re co-sleeping. I don't smoke or drink at the minute. I was having a Guinness every evening but then thought I had better stop if co-sleeping.

Thanks for letting me know what the bf specialist said. I think it's my letdown making A fussy too, although I have now found that taking her up to bed earlier, turning out the lights and putting on white noise helps quite a lot. It doesn't always work though!

roxvox once you have had mastitis once you are unfortunately prone to getting it again. It's the reason I gave up feeding ds1, I just couldn't face it again after the third time. He was also 5 months so I thought I'd done enough. Hope it's not mastitis for you though, so horrid.
Another co sleeper here. You just do what you have to do to get sleep.
Currently sitting in the dark with a wide awake baby and DH not helping by coming in every 5 mins to ask me something. He's making supper for 7.30 when will he understand that I have no idea when this baby will go to sleep and I don't care about eating at the moment but I do care about having an evening without a baby on me so piss off and stop coming in and ruining my dark, silent, sleep inducing room.

This always makes me laugh, statistically like - everyone can't be on the 50th centile!!

roxvox and purple i also said the same about co sleeping. I take confidence in the fast that i literally don't move and inch when i let him sleep on me when im usually a frigidity sleeper (so im told!) and i stopped drinking and smoking when i found out i was pregnant and not gone back other than an occasional glass of rose here and there. My dad told me that the rate of cot deaths seriously decreased when they brought out the guidelines of not smoking and not putting babies to sleep on their fronts and i do neither! I'm stupid though because i read that the highest instance of cot deaths is in baby boys between 2 - 4 months which we are at now! Girls apparently don't have as bigger risk. No idea why. I need to stay away from Google and trust my instincts!

H hasn't been weighed since 7 weeks and wont be until 4 months but i can kind of guess as he goes through his clothes. My HV was a student who had re trained after being a nurse and wasn't obsessed with the percentiles although we are ff but did say he should be taking more than 4oz's which he's been taking for a long time and is 10 weeks now and still only taking 4ozs, sometimes only 3! But he is growing so Natalie we have been given conflicting advice! ha. I can see he is healthy and happy so i'm not worried and i couldn't overfeed or underfeed me because he lets me know he's not happy either way! Although some of us are first time mums are instincts are usually very accurate so don't let them scaremonger you. We know our babies best.

Sorry about spelling and punctuation! Sleepy..

Hello. I fell asleep at 6.30! Sucked.
I havnt been back to clinic for weigh in.
Nat I was told I over fed ff to ds1. I ignored them. As did my sil a few years before me.

I can't be over feeding as I make up 5oz feed and he only takes 4oz sometimes 4.5oz his weight height and head size are all on 75th centile so he's in proportion anyway. emmo he is 7+3 weeks and by his weight should be having 5oz

Stupid health visitors

Natalie we are at 10 weeks and still on 4oz.s, he just shuts his mouth and wont take more ha and apparently we should be on 6ozs. We are also on the 75th percentile for height and weight so like you we are in proportion. Although his head is on the 50th ha little head but it doesn't look out of proportion. If we were bf we wouldn't know how much they are taking so i'm going with if he's happy, i'm happy! But i have heard of babies at his age taking 8oz's and being at normal weight as they got older so its all relative - every baby is different.

Woman next to me in the doctors on Friday had an 11 week old and the tommee tippee bottle was completely full and the baby drunk the whole thing without being winded and the baby wasn't a particularly big size either x

Surely the number if oz you give at each feed varies on how many feeds you do? I didn't understand that when we were topping up at every feed and were told 40/90ml etc it seemed a total per day to give would be more sensible.

I didn't take Thomas to be weighed this week. The HV didn't do it when she came and as he had a cold I didn't want it to show slowing growth on his chart so didn't to to the clinic yesterday.

Just ordered some Christmas CDs. Now I have a baby I have an excuse. I drive DH mad by humming Christmas tunes all year round.

nat H takes 4-5 (but usually 4) oz every 4 hours. he's staying firmly on the 50th line so HV said it must be just right for him!

Nat really dont worry about it. He is happy. That's what matters.