October 2013 Bus Graduates - Routines?! Our babies clearly haven't read the manual.

[Shirehobbit]

Apologies for the x-posting that meant there's no thread link in the last thread .
I'll start this one and hope people find it.

orange normally for reflux they try you with gaviscon, then ranitidine, them domperidone and if they don't work, omeprazole.

I hope that all of the poorly babies are getting better and that you mummies have lots of help and support

Orange we've had lots of big vomits too. Everytime she manages to do it all over the sofa. I think with her she gets wind bubbles then drinks milk on top of the wind then when the wind eventually comes up it brings all the milk up which is sat on top of it. That's how a DR described it to me, whether this is the case or not I don't know. She's always uncomfy with wind though

Thanks wicked girl. I seem to be instantly at the gp at the moment buttho I probably should get something for this reflux. Maybe will wait until the tt snip next week andsee if that helps first.

I think J has worsening reflux. His cries in the evening are more high-pitched and they sound gurgly after feeds. If we have another night like tonight I'm taking him to the GP because it's obvious he suffers with it. It's weird though because at other times today he's been more settled and happy than ever.

It's starting to stress me out when everyone always tells me how tiny he is and asks about his birth weight. He weighs ten pounds. I get all these nagging worries about feeding now. It doesn't help that today he wore a newborn babygro that I thought he'd grow out of three weeks ago, and it fit nicely.

ana - what is it that you're worried about weight wise? LO was weighed again on Tuesday and is now 11lbs but he's still wearing his newborn onesies - they fit nicely!
:)

I don't want to post this next bit on Facebook as DH and I share an account but we just tried to DTD for the first time tonight and we couldn't do it... I had a c-section but (TMI sorry!) it was really tight and it was hurting me too much to continue.

We were DTD right up to d-day so it's only been 7 weeks...not sure why I've healed up, lol! Told him we'd need to get some lube in before I can try again

Sephy and orange how about you share a new game from the book with us every few days aka save me from buying it

Orange can I ask why you can't take lactulose? Just a bit worried as I got some over the counter and assumed it was fine.

untitled HV's think he's gaining weight more slowly than he should. I know I should ignore them but they've planted seeds of doubt and worry.

Also it's been posted up thread that bf can make you drier. Maybe that's what happened?

ana how old is J now? My C is 8.5 weeks and weighs 4.25kg (approx 9lb 6) but growing nicely along 9th centile.

If you look at the growth charts, a baby on the 9th centile has to gain less weight to stay on that centile than a baby on 97th centile would. The only time to worry is if they're dropping off centiles (though there can be a degree of finding their true centile initially).

Sometimes the baby clothes seem to fit differently depending on how i put the nappy on! It may be J has grown longer and slimmed out in tummy a bit (i know C has) so clothes fit slightly differently now?

Try not worry, it sounds like you're doing a great job!

GT good idea, I'll have another look at the book Tomorrow and recommend another.

So I called dixie's tt expert who suggested I go along to the local bf support group first, as there's an
Expert there. She'd just got back from some tt training. She had a good examine of DD, and said that although DD has some restriction on one side (something to do
With lateralisation?!) it's not too bad, and when she does open her mouth we can get a good latch. DD of course made it look really easy while we were on show!

So in lots of ways its good she doesn't have a tt but on the other hand I think I was hoping for a miracle cure! Now I am left with a baby who often refuses to open her mouth more than a cm despite head butting my boob, hand sucking etc. and she still has pretty bad wind, occasional green frothy poo.

The HV yesterday seemed to think that's all normal though so perhaps I am worrying over nothing (habit of mine, I know). After some googling I'm trialling cutting out dairy though, as any hassle has to be worth it of she stops waking up every half hour from 3am straining with wind!

Ana - I'm sure you're right and you shouldn't worry. Perhaps if it is reflex the GP will be able to help sort it out and the weight gain should improve.

Squirrel I am lactose intolerant so lactulose would have far more of a 'stool softening' impact than intended! You are fine.

Untitled, bf makes you dry, lube needed. I don't think we will dtd until infection gone and I definitely know whether I have this fistula thing and it is sewn back up or whatever they do. Episiotomy still hurts too, can't imagine letting anything in there. Haven't dtd since September, and even then not very often due to pgp, not looking forward to first time!

Will share tips when book arrives.

Thanks sephy. I did the buzzy bee finger bopping thing today after nappy change. Lol got a few smiles.

That's a shame sephy, I too am hoping tt will make everything better, almost hoping he has it.

It's not fucking fair. A has been asleep in his cot for over an hour. FH is on night shift. I have the bed to myself! And I can't fucking sleep

Seph have you tried block feedin? Not changing sides as often? Expressing milk? And giving via bottle so lo has more hind milk. Sry can remember what else you've said up thread. But how is lo otherwise? Settled? Putting on weight? Is it just the poo colour which is a concern? Maybe try posting in the feeding section may be more expertise there.
Also did the bf group have no advice?

Sorry, rant alert...

When I was pregnant, I read a lot of articles and blogs where mothers felt like 'the vessel' and that their opinions didn't matter because it was always about what was best for baby. Now if I never actually felt like that until I was in labour but if I'm honest, it's actually breastfeeding that makes me feel like that!

I'm constipated all the time (which is not usual for me), I have a baby that doesn't sleep through, administering anything is a hassle (gaviscon, vitamins, gripe water), public scorn, no break from baby and now unable to DTD without some help!

I know 'breast is best' and I do actually enjoy breastfeeding but FFS! Where's the benefits for me?!

Also, had a phone call yesterday - "is this LO's mum?" ...umm yes, I have a name!!

Hope you get to sleep soon GT.

Sephy that sounds really frustrating. Did they give you any ideas on how together her to latch more consistently?

Thanks everyone. The growth chart doesn't show a problem yet. J jumped a centile during a growth spurt and has now dropped again to birth centile. It's more that he's gaining less per day/week than the HV thinks babies should. The HV on Wednesday asked a lot of detailed feeding questions, then wasn't very reassuring but didn't offer any advice. I think it may just be her manner that I don't respond well to. The GP afterwards did try to reassure me. I know it's probably fine but once I start to worry about something it only seems to grow. The reflux is quite new but it's definitely something to monitor. This new high-pitched crying is horrible.

Cross posted with you, untitled. Im sending you hugs. You have every right to rant. You have needs too, and it sounds like it's been a rough day.

For the constipation, are you sure you're drinking enough? That's a common issue with bf mums. Other than that I'm sure you know about high-fibre foods and laxatives if it's still bothering you.

ana - I think others have had the same issues with the growth charts and HV. I'm trying not to pay too much attention as they're based on FF babies so not reflective of BF. Also, take the 'advice' from HV with a pinch of salt. I'm not sure what training they receive or their career history but they can say things which are more harmful than good

For example, LO has an umbilical granuloma which we're currently being treated at the GP's for. Went to HV clinic on Tuesday and she took one look and said "that's a hernia, he's going to need surgery under general anaesthetic for that." Ummm, wrong!

Imagine if I hadn't already been to the GP though? I would have been worried out of my mind! So that's cemented it for me, they have their purpose but I'll be getting second opinions on things and trusting my own judgement.

Re. constipation - I don't think I am drinking enough or eating the right things. I struggle when I'm on my own and put his needs before mine and will find myself going all day with only one drink and a couple of biscuits. As he's getting older he's becoming less demanding and we've had great days where he's happily sat in his chair or on the playmat allowing me to get on with stuff and get drinks/foods so hopefully this is just temporary!

Untitled - I completely see where you are coming from. You have it much worse than me as I ff so DP can feed baby etc but I feel like I only get invited places for people to see the baby. Which is nice they would like to see him but it would be nice to feel welcome too!! Even my mum is a little guilty of this. I feel constant pressure for whoever wants to see him to see him, hold him etc to the point where I find I'm running around after everyone else when all I want is a cosy day with my baby!!! Yesterday I saw so many people who wanted him, I'd only popped into my mums but the world and his wife where there, that when DP got in from work and baby usually gets handed over I clung on to him as I felt I hadn't seen him all day :( sorry this has turned into a bit of a rant! But I just wanted to say identify with feeling like I have lost some of my identity although yours centres around breast feeding.

It's sucks when it interferes with dtd! But if it makes you feel any better (probably won't!) I'm ff and when we tried it it also hurt ALOT and I had section. At the moment we have to use condoms and lube even though I'm on the pill.

Baby H is so unpredictable! Some nights he'll sleep 12 til 6 painlessly and easily. Other nights it's 12, 2,4,6 and sometimes 10 til 4! I should be glad that a couple of nights a week I get 6 hours but I'm so anxious about being woken I struggle to sleep.

Does anyone else ever have a random strong feeling of paranoia when it comes to baby? Its usually in the middle of the night after a night feed I start thinking about how I couldn't cope if anything happened to baby or if he suffered from cot death and then I can't sleep for checking he's breathing!

Hope ladies had a good night sleep x

Sephy, I also have a baby who is really struggling with straining with trapped wind from about 1 am onwards. I get up and rub his stomach and that quietens him, 10 mins later same thing. I try to give gripe water but I think tonight I'm going to put it in a bottle with a small amt ebm enforce each feed and see if that helps. I remember c section people using peppermint oil for trapped wind. Wonder if you can use that in babies. I'm so tired and frustrated as he's just started going 3-4 hrs between feeds but I'm awake constantly trying to ease his discomfort.

Emmo I am also massively paranoid. I have recently heard about a couple of instances of cot death, which have happened to friends of friends and this has left me buying the sensor monitor as well as checking she is breathing all the time. Hopefully I will settle down and relax soon. It doesn't help that she is struggling to breath through her cold and cough at times though.

Thanks for clarification orange!!
Ana you may have seen me say on fb that at our 8 week check this week the hv was going mad about his weight and when we got into the doctor the first thing she said was he's gaining weight well! As long as you're happy with him, don't let others make you worry.
Sephy and GT I've also tried the buzzy bee, ordered the book as well, should come today, can't wait!
Untitled I've been taking lactulose for about two weeks and it is helping, took about a week to really have an effect. My stepmum has suffered with constipation most of her life, she sets an alarm on her phone to remind her to drink-it's so easy to forget! Dh is always checking how much I've drunk!

emmo my red book has the UK-WHO growth charts which are based on bf babies. I hate being so dismissive of the HV's opinion but I think if you're going to ask about length of feeds, possetting, time between feeds you need to either say "it sounds like everything is ok" or actually give advice about what isn't ok. The HV on Wednesdsy wrote it all down, gave me some judgy looks, and then moved on to the next patient. J had started crying because he hates being weighed and it was like she wanted to get rid of us. I was worried going into the appointment and she didn't help in any way. She just made me more worried and then also made me really self conscious about what I'm doing.

If you have the time (and the mental capacity, in spite of sleep deprivation and baby brain) this is an excellent paper about the adoption of the new WHO weight gain charts, which are based on bf babies, as of 2007. But it goes on to highlight the fundamental flaws many of us have experienced with frequent weighing/poor advice etc...
www.aims.org.uk/Journal/Vol19No3/WHOgrowthCharts.htm

Haven't read Shires link but I honestly think too frequent weighing is the biggest problem. The red books themselves say babies over two weeks should not be weighed more than once a month....