November 2012 - The last few first birthdays then we're on to Christmas

[StuntNun]

Previous thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/postnatal_clubs/1906769-November-2012-Isnt-age-one-a-lot-of-fun

No I didn't lose it. I explained at one point that I was sad that I wouldn't see the cat again but that she was having fun where she is now. The vet explained that cats don't show symptoms, physical symptoms of pain until it's bad. I know I did the right thing, but I see her out of the corner of my eye.

And the other cat went out looking for her earlier on. And her white fur is everywhere.

PR my DH saw his old late cat for years. Sneaking up the stairs, panned out in a sunbeam, cleaning himself leg in the air, waiting by the foodbowl, pottering through doorways. Very disconcerting. I know sceptics will say that the mind plays tricks but when I was in HK my old cat (in the UK) passed away - I came in from work and heard her miaow of greeting and the jingle of her collar and was like WTF I'm going mad you don't live here what a crazy thing to imagine! - I was due to Skype my old housemates that night and they told me the news I was .

I'm considering not getting dp anything at all for Christmas. He has form for putting in fuck all effort, all i want is a book from the charity shop in a bit of flowery paper but it seems that this is too much like hard work. My birthday this year i got a blank card with "Dear Pidj Happy Birthday Love DP". No present. Nothing from R. No let's get your mum over and go for a drink. I'm still upset about this 2 weeks later. He does however have a new job (kp in a posh hotel the kitchen of which is run by a mate)

My secret santa creation is well underway . DH took the girls for 45 mins so I could crack on with it. Well done that man. Have everything crossed that F sleeps tonight. Any sleep would be good.

Death and kids is a tricky one. When my grandad died, we had to explain to dsd that we wouldn't be seeing him anymore as he had gone to live with the angels. It took her a while to grasp that that meant, never seeing him ever, never. She still sometimes asks where he is now, 2.5 years later.

Also, lately she has been crying at school. When asked she says she is sad because her grandad died (on the other side) - which he did, 8 yrs ago before she was born. I don't know of any 6 year olds who get upset over something like that - am suspicious there is more to it and something is really bothering her. Just not sure how to go about finding what it is. She's normally very contended and slightly crazy. Lately she has been just a little flat.

I can hear our resident hedgepig crawling along the side of our house

My Secret Santa gift is wrapped and ready to be posted

My TV aerial has suddenly stopped working. I have no TV

My secret Santa gift is made and ready to post. This is far too organised for me. I've also organised a boiler service and found an NHS dentist. . It's like I'm 8 month preggo and on a super efficient nesting jaunt.

Jonas appears to be flat out before eight! Woot!!!! I've cursed that haven't I!?

I can't wait to see the secret santa pics :)

Did we decide when we're supposed to open them? We're not having Christmas day until at least Friday/Sat NHS and their stupid fucking rotas so will be slow to join the photo fest.

I think we decided Christmas Day :)

I have ALL stacking rings. Stacking cups. And the snail has all its stacking shells.

I actually have one extra stacking ring! Stolen by the stacking ring fiend from MIL's!

I am not organised on SS however. I am still considering options.

I haven't even started

All this making of ss is making me feel inadequate! Mine is a shop purchase I am ashamed to say!

Children deal with grief and death very differently to adults and it can take a long time for them to work out what is going on when we use so many analogies like 'gone to sleep'. I would suspect bp that DSD's grief is more the early stages of acknowledging her mortality. All very confusing and scary for someone of six.

We had lots of cats as children who all were killed on the road. For some reason my mum and dad chose not to mention the first one and simply never mentioned her again. We had had her since I was 2 and she just disappeared when I was 10. No mention from mum and dad. They didn't know this but I spent 2 years walking the fields calling for her. She was a doorstep cat in that she just turned up on the doorstep. Mum and dad always told us that cats leave when they aren't happy so I thought we had done something wrong! I was 16 when I caught my mum motioning to an Aunty that the cat had been hit by a car. I think she was utterly horrified when I told her how long I had hung on. Decision made for the best of intentions but utterly daft!! Your response pr sounds perfect.

On a slightly cheerier note I am off with actual girl pals tomorrow for actual lunch in actual Edinburgh. Without a baby!! To make matters even more exciting DH is taking p off to her granny and grampa's for the night so no worries about guilt for being out of feeling I have to be all at it on Sunday. Hurrah! Bring on the vino and gossip!

Pass that's awful a pal of mine was told when his Dad died (he was only six) that his Dad had 'gone to sleep' and he was scared to sleep for months in case he never came back. A euphemism for adults maybe but it's a dreadful metaphor to use with kids! Poor wee you out looking for your puss we had a cat run over when we were kids (she was only just outgrown from kittenhood) we found her with a broken back but still alive - not a good childhood memory either to be honest. But it's far far better to learn about death from a pet than from losing a parent or grandparent.

Big big hugs PR. I have never had cats I have a bit of a phobia but having had to have a pet PTS I know what a tough, horrible decision it is. Thinking of you and think your explanation for DD is perfect.

BPLP I have had kids bring up dead grandparents who they had never met. Sometimes there has been a niggling issue in the background, other times it has been attention seeking. Hope you get to the bottom of it, poor wee soul.

YW Aulay-dog is called 'A' by M. Not because she is a Mensa-baby and understand's mummy's odd spelling, but because I spend my whole day shouting 'ahh ahh' at him. Stupid bugger (the dog) is a jumper. My sister bailed on me for our night out too but is going to babysit while P and I go to a pal's birthday party tomorrow night.

I am on the case with SS, almost at wrapping stage.

I have also decided to move M into the big room in the house and my office into her nursery. She has way too much stuff, and I need a smaller space to keep organised. So this weekend I am mostly moving furniture. Expect photos.

I had something else to say but can't for the life of me remember what

Please please please back up your pictures. You will be if you loose them.
2000 pictures and videos gone. All from the last year. I want to

Job for you all. Back up back up back up. Not just to laptop. On a disk as well. Please

Oh shit GT

My sister's two year old saw a photo of my Mum's late father and said "Hiya Granda" she's never met him but talks about him often and blows kisses and waves at his picture (she doesn't do this to anyone else's picture). Interestingly three days before my sister went into early labour a pal of hers with the gift told her not to worry about the new baby, that our late maternal Grandfather (described to a T) was going to watch over the crib of the wee one. My sister thought this was to reassure her after her high intervention emergency section birth of her massive first child not thinking she'd have her DD within days. With 3 months of sitting by an incubator in the NICU she had a lot of time to appreciate the thought of our grandad keeping watch too. So maybe sometimes when kids speak of dead grandparents it's not an analogy?

Isles get a water spray bottle and squirt A every time he jumps up whilst saying whatever your "get down" command is - they think it's a dominant dog weeing on them and it soon stops bad behaviour (within 24 hours) without you needing to shout or be aggressive. I was really conscious I didn't want the dog knocking over J or any of his pals getting a phobia as a result of a bouncy dog. She only jumps up at Jacob now as he runs around with his arms in the air like a pillock . Might be an idea given how big Aulay is?

Oh the squirty water bottle can train any creature! If pussypig hears liquid slosh in a bottle, any bottle, he's off. Daft sod.

Just had the first brandy butter of the year, YUM.

Thanks for the thoughts re: dsd. My feelings were that the change in her is due to acceptance of having 2 new babies around, and the fact that she is definitely no longer top dog wherever she goes. Plus as the babies get older and more assertive, and develop their personalities, she is finding she cannot control them quite so readily as she would like. We did have a "that's my daddy" moment when F was climbing over dh the other week...

Now to bed.
Good luck all.

Makes sense bp

Colleague brought her 3 week old in to work today. Made me cry even looking at her. She weighs 9ib but it felt like nothing. She slept through children skwaking, giant staplers being hammered and lots of applause.

I am so broody

Oh. My poor cat today freaked out when she heard the vet spray his cleaning thing on the table before she went on it. He wasn't to know we had a spray can for her naughtiness. (We were desperate by the time we introduced that). I'd forgotten that. :(

A thinks the water scoosher is HILARIOUS. A couple of days of raising our knee when he bounds at us so he bounces off us on his peck muscles seems to have worked.

The furry bastard did chew through a cardboard box today that contains a new storage unit. Bastard, he never chews.

We have a water pistol by the bed for if the cat tries to hairball on the bed in the night. Our cleaners must think we're vair avant garde .

I think DH is vair broody....

My dog loved the water spray during the heatwave. Would close his eyes and wait to be cooled down.

Oh I want to sleep tonight. A nice empty dreamless sleep.