October 2013 Bus Graduates: the one where we're not pregnant anymore

[MrsHoratioNelson]

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Good luck with your first solo day Clapham

Flyer glad to hear A is doing better!

to all those with troublesome toddlers plus LOs. No advice or suggestions (1st time Mum here) but hang in there. Hope things get better soon.

Forgotten what else I was going to say

Same here re Velcro baby Clapham and Shooting. I've had two days of suddenly clingy baby however dh just took her for a few minutes and has managed to settle her in basket! I'm too tired to take it personally!
Not sure who mentioned about spots, dd keeps getting them on her cheeks but they clear up within a couple of days so try not worry too much.

clapham my baby is exactly the same. 3 wks today. Had easy placid baby til 3 days ago. Has turned into baby that's only happy when feeding. Really getting me down. Still crying every day from shear shock at how tough this is. I am so tired and feel like such a crap mother when can't seem to make my baby happy. Love him so much and just want to enjoy him but finding it very hard. Sorry for whinge. He's still gorgeous and seems to get through nights ok so I know I shouldn't complain. Just want to enjoy my days with him. Love to all. X

Sorry to hear that orange, hope you are ok.

Great news on the house Nat, hope it all gets finalised for you soon. We are hoping to relocate in order to buy our first home next year, but we have some important decisions to make re careers, location etc, so putting that all off until next year.

I had the hv randomly come round today - thank god I had literally just tidied up as the house was a bombsite. Another pointless visit, I'm really not sure what they are for other than to spy on people.

Glad you have got your house back Clapham and are enjoying the peace. I have somehow agreed to spend 3out of 4 weekends on visits with dps family. We were at sil last weekend as it is too much effort for them to get off their arses to see us, then have mil and partner staying 29th to 1st, then fil and partner 7th and 8th. Not happy. The arguments have also started about Xmas, with me wanting as much time just the 4 of us as possible, whereas dp jusht wants to please his self centred sister everyone else. I can't wait until we live somewhere large enough to host so I can tell everyone of they want to see us that they can do the running around.

Jelly my health visitor just turns up randomly as well. Last time the place was a tip and I was in a rush to get DD fed so I could get her to nursery in time. Had been mid feed and baby C had just done a monster poo. Not my finest hour

Clapham glad you're enjoying your solo day.

I'm another one who's co-sleeping because baby C won't settle in the Moses basket. He'll nap in it during the day, but always wakes up at night. I did have him in a sleeping bag, so I could try to transfer him back in, but then was worried that he was getting too hot. He's ok at the beginning of the night as he's on the outside of the bed and out if the covers, but during the night I roll over to feed him on the other side and he ends up in the middle if the bed, under the covers. Though I try to keep them low down. Last night I has him swaddled so it was easier to take the blanket off during the night, not sure if it worked better or not. I'm tending to sleep with 2 layers on as well because I got the covers down low for him. If anyone has tips let me know!

Ready I am sorry you are having a tough couple of days. It is so, so hard to look after a newborn - much harder than I imagined - and I am sure you are doing everything right.

Might it be the 3 week growth spurt? My baby suddenly needed to feed all the time, and was much fussier. (And like you I felt shattered, anxious and wanted to cry all the time from the sheer relentlessness).

It got better in week 4. Still exhausting but manageable. Now we are in the middle of week 5 and I am bracing myself for the 6 week growth spurt.

It sounds like you are doing a great job. I hope it eases up over the next few days and you get a little more sleep.

Orange sorry to hear about your grandma

Clapham, shooting and all the other owners of Velcro babies you have my sympathy I have such a clingy baby who cries whenever I put her down. She can be in a comatose state on me and as soon as I attempt to put her in the rocker or carry cot off the buggy (given up on the Moses basket now) she howls and howls! It gets a bit much and luckily dp is at home and my mum is coming 3 days a week so I can hand her over otherwise I wouldn't be able to shower!

sorry to hear about your grandma orange and I understand how confused you are about your feelings. I also found that motherhood made me a much softer and more forgiving person. Not sure how it works but I also felt differently about my family once I became a mum, and am more upset about my family being far from perfect... I was able to detach myself in the past.

ready and others with velcro babies like mine - it's very hard but try to enjoy it because you will miss your cuddly newborns very soon! My DS1 was a velcro baby and I really missed it once he became bigger and more independent. I now try to accept the fact that I'm not able to do anything during the day and try to enjoy feeding (once the initial excruciating nipple pain eases off a bit ) easier said than done I know...

nat good news on the house!

bowlfull are you thinking about moving outside London? I have no idea how people buy first homes in London these days... the prices are crazy...

excited mg baby also settles better with offer people. I think it's because he's figured out they have no boob to offer so no point in making too much fuss...

meant "other people" not "offer people"!

also, I'm shocked at HVs turning up randomly and unannounced... didn't know they do it... I had my intro visit last Tuesday and she said she doesn't need to see me until the baby is 8 months old... other than me having to weigh him once a month. Shall I expect a random unannounced visit instead then...?

orange, sorry to hear your news, I can understand why you feel conflicted.

ready , chin up chuck, I could have written your post 2 weeks ago, it does get better, I promise! I haven't cried for days and am almost enjoying motherhood.

My health visitor doesn't turn up unannounced, it would be so inefficient to do that, they must spend all day knocking on doors when people aren't in! She is coming around tomorrow, but at a pre-agreed time.

Ready have a large it helps ease the stresses. I also could have written your post. it gets easier, slowly but surely and day by day you will start enjoying things a bit more. It's bloody hard work though and no one can prepare you for how rough and difficult these early days are.
It's so life changing having a baby.

I can highly recommend a onesie to those breast feeding. DP bought me one before I got pregnant but I never wore it then it became too tight. It's fab when you need quick access to your boobs just unzip and get em out perfect for these cold artic nights we are expecting.

so... following my last post, tried to put down my sleeping comatose velcro baby in his moses basket so I can prepare some dinner. he woke up crying after literally 30sec... had to feed again, still here on the sofa with my boob out 40 min later

Oh moon that sounds dreadful, you can't help but feel judged by them

Yes, outside of London Clapham. We are past buying a property to get on the ladder and need to go straight to a family home, and there is no way we could afford that where we are. But relocating is throwing up lots of issues as we need new jobs, and its extremely unlikely that we would both be able to find the same kind of roles with the flexibility that we currently have . Effectively one of is will need to give up our career for the moment. I'm very hapy for that.to be me, but I am the higher earner and most of my salary is fixed, whereas dp s is commision. It's realy tough, I don't know what we will end up doing.

Oh dear clapham!
My two boys are both bathed and one is on bed. Am currently feeding the other hoping he'll go off to sleep but it's not looking likely.........
I actually have no idea how he is ever going to go to bed at a decent hour.
Am trying a sleeping bag on him tonight to see if it makes a difference.

Can I ask how often people are bathing babies? We're doing it about once, maximum twice a week. She hates it and isn't dirty (top and tail frequently) but does that make us neglectful mingers?

Max twice a week is standard advice here, so that's what we're doing.

Sounds identical to us Bowl!

I'm bathing her once a week Soup :)

Thanks all for not thinking me silly.

Good tip about the onsie flyer, good way to keep warm too if co sleeping/sitting up feeding in bed half the night. I don't have one, maybe a Christmas pressie. Thomas and I could match then.

Soup, DH wanted to do bath after work every day as start of bedtime routine / daddy time but we have only managed three or four baths so far I think because he hasn't got home early enough, only time for dinner then bed. I wash Thomas' face every day, I think that is ok. I might start doing baths without DH though and do them mid morning when T is in a better mood.

Bowlful which part of outer London are you thinking of moving to? (If you don't mind saying here)

Dd has a bath every night, but that's because it chills her out so is a nice part of her bedtime routine rather than her being dirty and needing a bath.

Seems we lead parallel lives pseudo!

Ha, if I knew is be happy to share orange, but we haven't even decided if we are going to stay in commuting distance of London, or move up to north Cambridgeshire which is where a majority of our family are.

My baby has been feeding for 40 mins, and rather than falling asleep is staring me out. It's very disconcerting!

Thomas usually wins at blinking competitions too!

Right move has a good draw your own map tool where you can select areas to search and there is a website where you can find stations within a certain commuting distance of London. (before getting pregnant we thought about moving out a bit further and found these two helpful but will probably stay here for a bit now) commute from website

Thanks everyone for your kind support. I just need to keep going! And I take heart from you saying it will get better.
I bath him every night as part of bedtime routine. No I'll effects of a regular dunking seen so far and he loves the bath so really relaxes him.

Thanks for that orange, i'll take a look. You live west of London don't you?