November 2012 - The birthdays are coming thick and fast

[StuntedFrankenNun]

Previous thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/postnatal_clubs/1884788-November-2012-Babies-going-trick-or-treating

Yes you should. Or somewhere you can relax with a good book and forget about life for an hour or so.

LO was dropped off by DH this morning as I had to go to town. Change in routine led to much wailing :(

She's developed a rash on her torso. Mild measle type thing. I assume it's due to the jabs. If it doesn't go down in a couple of days I'll get her seen. Freaked at first thinking it was excema, but then remembered vague stuff about side effects and got a grip. Fx it is that anyaay. All over excema would be rubbish!

Check checking checking in

12 month review done. He's meeting all milestones, good weight etc.

Yes incredible a years gone by!!!!

Keep thinking back to last year with happiness and sadness. At least I was discharged a year ago today!

Don't be sad horsey you birthed a gorgeous healthy baby and have raised him brilliantly for a year. I re-read those early threads the other day and there was so much unecessary pressure put on you guys re feeding and giving birth. I don't think they prepare you well enough for when things don't go to plan. There are negative points to care over here but they do tell us not to worry about feeding or intervention full births, and that really helps. Plus the post natal care available is excellent. I remember being so sad last year for a lot of you, but look, we're all still here and doing a great job. We can all be proud of what we have achieved. It's not supposed to be easy, in fact it's the hardest part in most cases. But we got here in the end and next time round we'll, well you as there won't be a next time for me, will be much better prepared to handle all the bollocks pregnancy and newborns chuck in your direction.

Well said PR

Hello all, your words of encouragement helped me make a diffult phone call. I've called the lawer, and seeing her on Friday. The first half hour is free:) but I have to prove I'm poor. Also I don't get level aid because he hasn't hit me.

N was poorly last night again, and still P wouldn't let me take off a layer. :(

Evil

Thank you pidj it's the red bull

evil well done, half an hour is enough time for an experienced lawyer to get a grip on the basics and give you a pointer on your rights and responsibilities. You will probably need a bit more time but it will be worth it. Try and make some clear notes before you go so that you don't waste time babbling (which is what I tend to do).

pr I only feel sad as I wish I knew what I know now. It would all be ok. Well fairly ok. I still can't believe the differences between France and the uk in terms of, well, a lot if thing. Child care, feeding etc. there's much less guilt, much more support. As you say, there's bad aspects. But a lot of it makes more sense to me.

Well done evil. Am very happy to help you prep if useful.

horsey I think this is totally normal. You almost need a practice pregnancy/childbirth/baby before it happens for real. I was very reflective around DD's birthday which took me by surprise because I felt like I had come so far. I thought back on not having the birth I wanted, feeding not bring what I had wanted, early nursery attendance, all those decisions. I reflected, I put it to one side. I imagine I will think about S's arrival and early days on Saturday. But PR has hit the nail on the head - we have these wonderful little people which we have nurtured and loved. How they are nurtured is irrelevant, as long as they are. Be kind to yourself about all this.

Thanks everyone, it means a lot. I can't believe I'll be going, it seems so far away, but I know I can go.

Evil

Have to say my post and antenatal care was in Luxembourg but yeah France is pretty good too :) People often criticise France for their 90%+ use of epidurals but the stats are that there isn't much more intervention here. We are also criticised for the ff rates, but I found the bf advice good, encouraging, but it was pointed out that bf isn't the be all and end all. It's ideal, of course, but not worth risking your mental health for. It is so important for women post birth to be able to get on top of things mentally, and the stress you guys went through was so unhelpful for that. It's cultural I guess, but very unfeminist to put so many women through so much guilt and disappointment. It's rare that I say that feminism is more advanced over here but in the case of pregnancy, birth and motherhood they are streets ahead.

Except for PND. They're crap at that in some ways. And if you don't go to the paed yourself no-one will chase you, which means neglect in various forms might not get picked up on (no hvs or mws come to the home for example).

Next time, if there is one, you'll know and will be able to turn a blind eye and deaf ear to outside pressures and be able to relax and enjoy your baby.

I get emotional when I talk about DD1's birth but more because of what came afterwards than the actual birth. The stomach haemorraging was because of the post cs drugs, and being separated from her for so long at such an early age is something I will always feel unecessarily guilty about. I feel like I missed her first three months, and it felt like losing a limb, as even when I was home I was drugged up and in pain and couldn't look after her very much. I was glad to be able to experience the fourth trimester with LO. I say glad, it was actually almost as stressful for normal nb problems but I am not cut out for newborns :o But when LO's birthday happened I felt nothing but relief that we had got through the year relatively unscathed and that she is here and happy and healthy-ish and is becoming her own independent little person with her own charm and temper

Where has my angelic baby gone? Went to costa today - first time in a few weeks and there was a baby there around O's age who was sitting happily and feeding himself beautifully. Oscar on the other hand was throwing his food on the floor, spitting food out, blowing raspberries and shouting Yayayayayayaya at the top of his voice I miss my well behaved baby. I don't know how to deal with this one.

Plus I have PMT. The antid's are supposed to help but I'm in a stinker of a mood.

Chasing I don't think any of them are angels - they are just biding their time - plotting . Equally they're not really little devils either - they're just exploring. I'm currently in the process of figuring out which battles to pick and letting other mischief go as I know he'll get bored of it whereas if I make an issue of something he often just does it more to test my reaction. Non-negotiables here are hurting the pets, other people or doing something which could hurt himself. I'm trying to not get riled at his latest favourite - emptying his clothing drawers across the bedroom floor in the hope he gets bored of it!

chasing your description of a "badly behaved" O is my idea of a well behaved S! Babies are supposed to make noise like that. S makes people smile and chat when he is being vocal.

YW other than his beloved fish slice, there 's nothing S enjoys more than emoting drawers of cupboards.

DD1 has always been brilliant in restaurants. LO has always picked outings to be as uncute as possible :o

Sitting at the garage while they do my winter tyres v . They asked me technical questions about my wheels, like do they have anti theft thingies and I wasn't able to answer. As a feminist my knowledge of my own car is shameful. They thoroughly ripped the piss at the little woman who leaves her DH to deal with that kind of thing. Good job they don't know that I put petrol in it myself today for only the second time. In three years. Need to get a grip and learn more about cars.

emoting? emptying, obvs.

The other customers did seem to love him. I guess I should just be glad that he is outgoing compared to the shy little thing of 6 months ago.

So what you're saying Zamboni is get used to it!!!

A bit. It does force me to clear things out and de-clutter regularly. S also enjoys opening and shutting doors. Has a little paddy about the cupboard under the sink which has a childlock.

chasing that's a lovely way to think if it. He's clearly a happy, secure, outgoing little boy. I'm sure he was charming.

Gorgeous evening here. I love autumn evenings. Makes me want to bake a pie.

Nursery settle session went really well. I said goodbye and he was like 'whatevs' and scuttled off to plunge face first into the ballpool. I came back an hour later to find him mesmerised by a spinning top. He saw me and scooted over giggling and wanting a kiss. No tears. Apparently he smiled and laughed his way thru the hour. How on earth DH and I - two of the most raging left wing ranters have made a little boy with such a sunny disposition - I'll never know! Dropping him off was a bit but when I was going back to collect him I was so excited!

That's great yw :) and

Well what I thought was a measle type reaction to the mmr is in fact eczema, according to the nurse at nursery. Bugger. All over her tummy and legs. Going to give each washing load an extra rinse and moisturise her to within an inch of her life. Runs in the family so to be expected. Anyone know if they grow out of it? I never got it.

re easy settling in of course :o