November 2012 - The birthdays are coming thick and fast

[StuntedFrankenNun]

Previous thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/postnatal_clubs/1884788-November-2012-Babies-going-trick-or-treating

Not caught up and off to a Halloween party but wanted to update you - looks like we'll be moving on Thursday eep.

Ahahahahahahaha! That's brilliant pp it's the modern equivalent of a tin drum

Hi-5 to a moving date!!!!! Woot!!

Yay stunt

And fricking yay for a paed referral vq and for the work goodness despite the crap too :)

Thanks to you all, but there is still a long way to go.
As for the legal stuff, I don't care about the house or the money, I just want to live with out crazy rules.

N is still unwell, his fevers are starting to go. However he is very not like himself.

yw temp can run up and down, evening being a real arse sometimes. If controlable by meds I tend to not worry until dr opening hours. With a temperature which spikes rapidly watch out for fits, which although scary are apparently relatively normal. Read up on the relevant first aid as his temp seems to be up and down. And remember, these things always happen on Fridays.

Thanks PR will do.

Evil you're quite right it's not the money or the house or any 'stuff' that will make or break a childhood - it's being safe from emotional abuse and rows and discord. Am v proud of you - we'll all be here for you every step of the way; if we can help - just ask.

The bear is v hot and grizzly but better than he was. Sod's law we're off south to visit my auntie for the weekend - leaving at 5am. Perfect timing!

Evil my mum never left my dad because she was scared of him (was a lawyer) and she didn't want to lose the lovely (scary) house and all her things (read, freaky antiques). We would have been so much happier without his emotional abuse, but she never dared do it.

N is young now, but in a couple of years if you didn't leave would so pick up on your dp's attitude to his mum. Unhappy parents lead to enormous scars. I know that people whose parents broke up talk about how hard it was. But those of us whose parents stayed together are left with amost irreparable scars too.

I am sure that some of my very nasty relationships lasted too long because I just didn't realise what a normal relationship should be. Realisation of thathas made me massively stronger in my current relationship. First sign of nastiness and my flight instinct kicks in. Luckily onlytwice in 7years (we all have ups and downs).

Don't let yourself be the past me, or my mum, which is the extreme example of the past me. Your DP can threaten you with all kinds to make you stay, but you don't have to. It won't work. You're about to teach your son, like chasing is doing, that women deserve respect. Because your DP isn't teaching him that.

Lecture over. I hope it helps and doesn't comeover as hectoring bollocks

And yes, anything you need, quiche is here. Really.

Sorry, I've only skim read. Just wanted to send get well soon vibes to j and j and yay for paeds appointments.

((Hugs)) sophie Hope you can all be together again soon

And brilliant news on the house evil I'm really pleased for you.

And fab news on the mining date too stunt :)

yw they always take the piss once at doctors. Tis the rule. Paed says 3-5 days if controllable temperature (with calpol etc) no need to see if OK otherwise. With the jabs tis a tough time, especially with reflux I imagine.

Last year when DD1 and I had flu, LO got it just after. Iwaited the 5 days of horrible temp and reduced feeding and went to the paed on day 5 and she still murmured about flu, no need to have brought her in. The next day she was fine.

This quiche is fucking awesome!

Quiche rocks.

to VQ and sophia - sounds awful.

Illness here too - she;s hacking away in her cot with rivers of snot poor thing. I however am on call all weekend so dh will have the pleasure.

Evil you are amazeballs xx

Oh, and slack mummy left the stair gate open, F went quiet and was discovered 3 steps down, crawling head first down the stair case. I stopped shaking about half an hour later

You are so right vq. And I was was just thinking how valuable a supportive group of women, with their stories their histories, the journies they have been on (before the quiche life and during the quiche life) is/has been all of us at different times.

I will defo be doing the diaries encouraged by you guys. I will pray and hope that one day my girls will be back with me but I will hold my head high and believe in my strength. Bizarrely the best thing I ever did was leave that man but the worse thing was not to fight for the girls and just let him bully and intimidate me so I didn't think I could.

My tactic is to behave like a calm adult, to love them, be happy, never ever slag him off ever to them and one day I will, I will come out on top.

Annnnyyyyyywaaayyyyy. Great job with the referral vq. Amazeballs news re the house evil a place for you and n. I hope you are feeling strong and ok. Big hugs.

Joins in The quiche hi 5 for stunt re the moving date. That's great news.

det sorry you are feeling so lonely at work. It must be awful. Is there nothing coming up nearby you could apply for? Fresh start?

Sophia, I think you are amazing. Incredibly dignified. I hope I am like you when I grow up. (PS. I am wearing the same date outfit as last week. But I have painted my nails a different colour so that's ok, right?)

Evil, that is amazing news. Well done you. That house is the start of your new life.

I am in the grips of terrible PMT - it almost feels like depression. Have been having some horrible thoughts today but trying not to take them too seriously as I am hoping that they are just hormone related. I have been thinking of how much I really dislike parenting I am not a natural parent at all and I struggle to enjoy it. Plus, I am struggling with Oscar at nap/sleep times and got irrationally pissed off tonight that there was nobody to share the burden with. And that O will no doubt behave perfectly for XP this weekend.

Chasing I think most of us love our babies but don't enjoy the drudge of early years parenting - arse and nose wiping, removing food slops from where it shouldn't be, shovelling it where it should, battling histrionics, trying to decipher WTF is wrong when our irrational little souls become even less rational. It's 'them' we love not the day to day chores.

Stunt good luck for Thursday!

Sophia your dignified stance is much healthier than raging like a fishwife, brawling and high drama (my modus operandi when exiting an abusive relationship!). Your girls and boys will benefit from it and in time they will realise how much you sacrificed out of love for them.

Big hug chasing

PMS is a new addition to my life - never had a second of it until I had p and now it can be crippling. I don't know what being a natural parent means other than loving your children without condition. I would say chasing that you have evidenced that in spades.

And your comment about 'when I grow up' made me smile as well as that was just what I was inferring the other day when I asked how I could be allowed a baby. I think pp agreed!

sophia your girls will grow up knowing that their mum is a wonderful human being.

Your work issues sound awful det. Loneliness at work is rubbish. Could you possibly transfer to another hospital? It sounds to me like you need a fresh start.

chasing my PMT is a predictable, now, nightmare.

sophia my DH has never slagged off his XW to DSS ( they were living in Guadeloupe and she told him to fuck off as she had found someone else so he moved back to France when his ds was 6) . He is 21 and still won't speak to us, though we did see him briefly about 5 years ago. You have to be strong and hope that one day they will come to you for an explanation, and enjoy the time you spend with them in the meantime.

Just got interupted by a group of trick or treaters. Who said the village.s main Halloween event is tomorrow. Bugger. Have scoffed most of my mini twixes, will have to buy more tomorow!!! That'll teach me to tear up village newsletters. Sodding French not respecting proper dates. Had enough for the I'm sure 18+ stoners that just popped by.

I mean 18 years plus stoned kids. Not overweight people

Yes Det your post made me . You deserve a better work environment than that. You too apple xx

I'm at a crossroads work wise. And at almost 34 am asking myself what I want to be when i grow up. For sure I don't want to be working in investment funds. Tis bloody dull.

Insurance was crap too. Yep, I have spent my career on the dark side in financial services. DH is a banker. I have coached, translated and taught English in the past. Time to go back to that I think.

Oh, that.s coaching, translating and teaching bankers. My recent work is legal bollocks in funds. Bored of making rich people richer.....

I've posted on fb. Another day, another end of surgery appointment. Still have a virusy baby. God damned things. I just want him better!!!

det I rarely go out with people from work. But I rarely got invited to people's houses for coffee when on mat leave either. I come across as stuck up. I'm not, but I know I can portray an air of arrogance at times. No idea how to stop. Anyway. I like my job there. I like most of the people, so I stay. But do you actually like your job? Could a career change be in order?

Hugs poorly babies. Sleep dust too xx

I love my job - I don't love my employer.

I don't love the conditions I work under.

I couldn't imagine ever not doing this.

But there is no one else to work for really. It is the NHS or nowt. And I need the stability of the wage.

I keep looking for other posts. There are options for me. I hope.

I just keep hoping there has to be more than this. There has to be a place where people are happy? Doesn't there?

I know people who love their jobs and who they work for. I feel like I am under a 10 tonne brick being crushed away slowly. But I want to do what I do. Nothing else would make me happy either.

I need to work somewhere I can make a difference. And where people like/appreciate me as a person.

FFS Tilly just deleted a massive post.

In short:

Hoorays for evil, stunt, vq and anyone needing hoorayed.

Hugs for Sophia, detective, apple, and again anyone else needing a hug.

M is ill. Proper croaky voice, choking on streams of snot. Temp of 38.5 that calpol won't bring down. She is drinking plenty, not particularly off food but utterly miserable. She managed 30 mins in cot tonight. What should I do?? I am at a total loss