March 2013 - 6 months down, 210 to go!

[StormyBrid]

Old thread.

Keep on rambling, ladies, we have a whole new thread to fill!

Eco, thanks! I too loved my wedding dress. One of the midwives I worked with made it for me so I got to pretty much design it myself. I do love a good wedding! Our house was packed full of wedding magazines for months! I'm now going to nosey at some wedding photos, I haven't poked through anyone's FB pics yet bit I do love a good nosey! Worse/KFF we'll have to PM you some pics so you don't miss out!

As for naps on a normal day we have 2, at about 11 and 3ish, with a mini extra one if we're out and about.

DH is off on a night out with his mates tonight. He says he'll be in by midnight. If he gets home before 4 and isn't scratching at the door because he's forgotten how keys work I'll eat my hat!

Stormy you're so right. I'm trying to keep out night routine consistent through the poorly period in the hope it goes back. Last night I ended up feeding her earlier than normal rather than trying too hard to settle her as I was worried she might eat dehydrated with the vast amounts of pooing, but I still woke her up again after and stayed with her to settle in her cot rather than feeding to sleep or co-sleeping. We'll see if my resolve is as strong tonight!

Evening all. Clocks back everyone!!!! Just in case you'd forgotten

Stormy old evening here tonight, and nothing to do with Brid either. I'm vaguely wondering whether we should move rooms tomorrow, in preparation for the 'big storm'. Assuming the big storm makes it this far and doesn't blow itself out on the Devon contingent that is. The view from our bedroom window is rather lovely, what with the huge trees on that side of the house. It might become less lovely if one of said trees lands on our heads. Hope no one on here is any where near the predicted path of destruction.

Plonky Aw, that's a sweet naming story. Mine is less hearts and flowers. For a person married to a very English bloke I have a ridiculously Irish surname (grandfather was a drunken navvy... or something), so I wanted a suitably Irish first name to balance it out, but one that the English could both say and spell without undue effort. So worselet is was. It just jumped out at me from a long list of incomprehensible looking Gaelic monikers.

SoYo I have never knowingly turned down the opportunity to go doe eyed over a wedding photo. I'd love to see your dress . We walked past a wedding today actually, and the bride looked beautiful. All brides look beautiful, but this girl either has exquisite taste or a very expensive designer. Her dress was a work of art in antique lace.

VJ how many colds? Please stop. You are scaring me. I hope mini-vj is feeling better now, and not planning her next one.

Any Hugs. From a safe distance. Hope you feel better soon.

Eig Turkey? Wow! Enjoy!! Right pain over food is something I can identify with. For anyone worried their tiddler isn't eating enough, the worselet averages 2 teaspoons of solids and a bite of toast most days. Today she ate three quarters of a proper baby portion of shepherds pie. I nearly died of shock. That will do her 3 days mind. If not 4.

Lovely day today - Petworth House with Sis, BIL and my gorgeous little niece. Definitely somewhere I'd recommend for a day out with a baby.

Worse - I'm in Essex so yes, pretty much going to get blown to pieces.

Stormy have the opposite problem with DD now - she's super bunged up and quite uncomfortable. Can't wait for her to finally get it out of her system! I, thank goodness, am better today

Glad you're feeling better, Any. Parenting with the shits sounds like a special level of hell.

worse do try not to get squashed. Where's this storm supposed to hit, anyway? Are we safe in the grim northern wastes?

Yesterday's 2-4 nap turned out to be a 2-2.35 nap. Which is even more rubbish than usual. Somehow she managed to hold out until a 7.45 bedtime without being too shouty though. This morning, woke up at 6.15 (which would've been 7.15 without the clocks changing so not bad really) and talked to herself until she went back to sleep at 7. Could be worse!

Stormy that doesn't sound too bad, despite the shocking nap.

Any and Worse I hope the storm doesn't wreak too much havoc.

Eig long time no see! Have a nice holiday.

Hope everyone survived clock gate. Thankfully DS had a lie in yesterday so we just pushed everything back an hour. Thank hid that went smoothly because we had a horror of a day yesterday - caused entirely by mr. Going back to work whilst my entire family are abroad is harder than I'd like to admit. My mum and sister are my rocks and they're not here. Anyway. Upshot is I'm a pathetic nasty bitch. Dell out big time with dp, asked him why we are together as he clearly isn't interested in marrying me... Stomped off upstairs for a sob and a sleep, then got asked to clear up the mother of poonamis.

There's nothing like a veggie bake poo to bring two people together.

Caused by ME. Not the mister.

I hate GMT. I was up for 3hrs overnight. I think madam has Rotavirus because I recognise the smell from when I worked in paeds, grim and se pooed through everything just around 2 then had a feed as she was so distressed and awake after her wash then wouldn't go back to sleep. Took nearly 2hrs, then I fell asleep in the chair in her room, crawled into bed 45mins later then 20mins after that she was awake again and not settling. If this ruins our new sleep I'll turn to gin!

Worse I'll try and PM you a picture if I can figure out how to do that.

Despite being up very early, pooing all the time and being grumpy madam only had a 15min nap this morning. Off for a walk now to try and trick her into some more sleep!

Oh yes and Stormy, there's a yellow Met office warning for all of Yorkshire but these things are usually worse in Hull so it's probably worth getting the beer and candles in!

Well, down in the SW we are due to cop for it all first so have flipped the garden furniture over, moved the bins to the sheltered side of the house and am hoping for the best.

Have been cooking all day for mum's 70th birthday party - three course meal with two dessert options plus birthday cake - so think its o'clock for me. DS has loved all the attention, but had no sleep so just done early bedtime - annoying as trying to reprogram clock gate and that won't help! Sigh...

Ladies, I think I need a hand or several to hold.

I don't know what to do. I feel so lost.

Plonky I'm here and Will keep checking. Dp? We'll look after you. Hugs from the east for now.

Hey hey? Here also. Or ?

I'm here too plonk!

hello ladies. have you all batoned down those hatches? it's all a bit windy miller here in norfolk.
pud how did your party go? sounds like you worked hard! btw are you still on washable nappies? have you got the washing sorted now? as soon as ecobaby wets hers they smell a bit strange... I may email littke lamb. hope it was you on reuseables!
soyo what goss do you have following your facebook explorations? did the walk result in magic sleep for your poorly petal?
any glad you are better.
something you have a mobile baby there don't you? cripes, makes ecobaby look lethargic.
worse where is petworth? national trust? nieces are nices eh? mine are 8 and 14 and they're such lovely company.
stormy at your google image mooncup. I may do thst one time when really bored.
eig has the holiday helped the eating at all?
plonky, hoping by the time I post you've been back on. dh and I had super shite saturday too. I was a mega nag but we resolved at sun down to makes sunday better and it has been.
does anyone have a lo with cradle cap? despite a few weeks of dentinix we still have it and I did a bad thing today. scraped off one of the scales. eeeuuuwww. bad mother. but you know the worst thing? it came off with about ten of her gorgeius downy hairs too. she was unperturbed I should add.....
also, can I ask how everyone's self confidence and self image is following child birth and mothering? I feel really at an all time low on that score. very shy of my new self. which is a bit poo. I feel a strange shape, with old lady bras/boobs, bags under my eyes, clothes generally with a recent dollop of blw food or sick, new wrinkles, a bit of a broken (this thread doesnt have an accepted word.....) undercarriage, pasty. not very sexy all in all. am I alone? have I just let myself go?

You are most certainly not alone eco. I'm flabby, I often go without makeup, and usually smell faintly of milk.

Thanks for the support everyone. I've had a horrible weekend and been a really nasty cow. Dp has actually been great and gotten on with doing his fatherly duty to DS. He's actually doing it now as DS is screaming his head off and clearly still a bit poorly.

I need to sort my head out. I think if I'm truly honest with myself I went back to work too soon. I know, I know, I need to give it time to bed in (my goal is to see how I feel at Christmas). But I'm a stupid cunt, incapable of being a mum and working three sodding days a week. Pathetic, isn't it? What a fucking disappointment.

My motive in going back to work was so we could scrape together the deposit for a house and have a small wedding. Dp won't entertain a conversation about marriage, despite putting a ring on my finger two bloody years ago. Wtf am I aiming for? I'm trying really hard to get into the mummy role and I'm shockingly bad at it. And I'm an even worse partner/colleague.

Can someone hand me a grip?

Eco you are not alone. I'm pretty much the same weight as pre baby but a completely different shape so suddenly look a bit odd in all my clothes, I was always a bit on the scruffy side of put together so no difference there really but my skin is suddenly crap, my hair is greasy, I should have shares in Bobby Brown for the amount of concealer I use and as much as having bigger boobs was always a wish, they're a bit matronly on me and I know they'll look like spaniel ears when I stop BFing. All in all, not very sexy. As for the undercarriage, DH and I DTD the other night for the first time in nearly a year and it was odd and uncomfortable for me anyway, he says it was great bless him and I feel like that's yet another thing that's changed irrevocably. I have to say despite usually being just on the plumper side of slim DH once made the mistake of calling me fleshy I've never been concerned or suffered a lack of confidence in myself until now, it's not too bad but it just doesn't feel very 'me'. I think that's one thing that going back to work might help a bit though.

On the cradle cap front I hear that t-gel shampoo is good for it from some of my GP friends.

As for the FB exploration it never happened, madam is once again pooing everywhere poor mite so the evening has been taken up by soaking many clothes and cuddling and feeding a very unsettled baby.

Pud I hope your catering went down a storm.

Plonky I'm here too. Don't underestimate the effect sleep deprivation, massive upheaval and the weight of responsibility can have on your reactions to things. Your DP might need this pointing out to him but I'm sure he'll understand it. Hope you're ok!

SoYo the weight of responsibility. Yes. Weight is exactly how it feels.

Cross post! I will indeed hand you a grip because you're certainly not incapable of being a mum, you're just expecting something that's really fucking difficult to come easily. I can barely manage the mum thing alone never mind balancing it with working too and I'm dreading that happening in a couple of months. I'm sure you're right and it will settle but it'll take time, just as it took time to settle into being a mum in the first place. As for being a shit partner, I'm definitely capable of that too. DH does his fair share of being crap but mostly he's brill and I never give him credit and take everything out on him just because he gets to leave the house in the morning and come back when most of the crap is done I conveniently manage to overlook that he does a full days work in this time but as for the marriage thing, it does sound like you need a proper conversation about that. Don't lump it in with all the other things that are pissing you off (something I always do) but talk about it as a separate issue because its a conversation that deserves time and attention. If he really won't discuss it then maybe write something down. This is usually my last resort when DH acts like a tit and clams up about things without really noticing how I'm feeling.

That was really long, sorry. Feel free to ignore any shit bits of advice there, I'm not sure I'm qualified to give them!

Plonky you're not a rubbish mum. You have an obviously happy little boy, and are clearly keeping him more than occupied given the new tricks!

Returning to work is a funny one, it's been ok for me so far but of course I am leaving DS at home with dh as we don't start nursery til next year. Also I have been manically busy which has rather stopped me dwelling on things.

Can't really advise on the marriage front. When I finally got dh to divorce his ex (we met after they separated) it ended up with me proposing to him. Thankfully he was up for the idea. That's not very helpful is it? I guess you've already made a lifetime commitment to each other in the form of gorgeous DS, perhaps hold that thought?

Also Eco, yy re undercarriage etc. lots of hard work in the gym paying off but still wobbly tummed and matronly boobed (well put soyo) and not normal down there. Surprisingly scared of it hurting, even though it's mostly been ok. Certainly a bit of mental scarring whatever the state of the epi!

Thanks so much ladies. SoYo I think you're 100% correct. I've been expecting it to be easy. And the work is. Frankly a monkey could do it, and there's a certain satisfaction from throwing boxes around. But I need to find a balance, and that bits hard.

Pud thank you. I certainly hope I'm raising a happy wee fella but when the doubt creeps in its hard to feel confident.

The marriage issue is separate. But I'm a cow for letting all my problems rumble out at once when I'm upset.

Tomorrow is another day. I'm going to make some bottles up then hop into bed with a cuppa.

Oh dear, I seem to have come a little late to this party. Firstly- plonky! You poor thing feeling rubbish. It is, of course, all bollocks (the shit mum/cunt/rubbish partner stuff). You are fab. Others have been wise with advice, but just thought I'd remind you of my favourite thing that has ever been said on these threads. Many months ago, wors said 'if the small person's happy, you're winning'. I know DS is feeling a bit nude the weather, but you said yourself the other day he's happy at nursery, generally cheery and laid back etc. therefore...small person is happy, you're winning. Be nicer to yourself please.

Re: body image/self confidence. Mine is shocking. I'm huge, and wobbly, and still can't face dtd because I feel completely gross. But that's pretty normal for me to be honest.

And finally- the storm. Well we're at my parents holiday house on the Suffolk Coast. And I mean REALLY on the coast. As in the sea is on the other side of the road. I think we'll be ok, but as our room is in the attic, I've got dd in with me in case something horrid happens. To be honest I'm more worried about our beloved beach hut. Due here first thing tomorrow morning. Eek!!

A cup of tea in bed is exactly what I'm doing right now it's a great remedy for downinthedumpsness!

eco he's definitely mobile, we've had to make a visit to DSis's today to get my nephew's old cot and stair gates because DS's cot is too high off the ground and likely to cause accidents if he somehow manged to fling himself out.

On the body image front, you're definitely not alone. The c-section left me with such an unsightly stomach and I'm struggling to lose it. And apparently, it never shifts on some women so...yey I am sorting out my gym membership this week though so I'm going to work on losing it. And fake tan has been a blessing to these stretch marks. I don't feel confident in my body at all but I suppose it has only been 7 months, surely we're still allowed cakes and biscuits?

Nude the weather?!? Under the weather of course!! Bloody autocorrect!!

Aw Superplonk, you're a star. I love you! You're the best mum, and a great character. I'm sure we'd all love to meet you. Hell, we'd probably all love to be you! I wish I had the chutzpah to carry off a shoulder of birds, and a baby in a sling, with enough energy to write a book and hold down a job on the side. Give yourself a bloody big pat on the back and be proud....

... and I'll let you into a little secret. It isn't always smiles and laughter chez moi either. There are days when walk for miles and cry in the woods. There are days when I mentally pack my bags and dream of running away. There are days when I can't see how I can manage to be the perfect mum, the obliging wife, the great neighbour, when actually all I want to do is kick my DH so hard he goes into orbit. It's tough this mum thing. In the past year we have turned our lives and our bodies upside down, and the fact we are all still functioning is pretty amazing in itself.

So big hug. We're all behind you.

As for marriage, if it's important to you, tell him. No relationship ever died from too much communication.

Eco, yes Petworth is another Natural Trust House, on the A272 West of where I am. Huge house, and a deer park. Hours of fun, with the added bonus of a cafe and a baby change

As for cradle cap, the worselet knows all about that. She had a particularly attractive batch for about 8 weeks, and my only advice is dentinox every day, and don't pick. It goes away when it's good and ready, and sadly not before.

Body image is an interesting one, as weirdly post baby I'm much less bothered. I've a bigger bum, saggier boobs, and separated stomach muscles, so the old wash board abs. They've gone. I had a sad moment going through my wardrobe, getting rid of some gorgeous clothes which sadly will never fit again though. Cute 60s dresses, some designer pieces I got in sales, a wonderful 1970s Ozzie Clark I bought from the model he made it for. All gone (or boxed away for the worselet). The new me though, I like her better. She's softer round the edges, and much less uptight!

SoYo the DTD thing. I found it weird until I stopped bf-ing and then it all came back together and felt like nothing had changed.

Oh dear run out of time. Gotta dash, but will be back bright and breezy tomorrow. Assuming a tree does not fall on my head! Fingers crossed for the rest of you in the path of the storm. Stay safe.