November 2012 - Teeth? Don't talk to us about teeth.

[StuntNun]

Previous thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/postnatal_clubs/1826507-November-2012-To-sterilise-or-not-to-sterilise-bottles-that-is

It is hard pennie, I really enjoy being with the mrs on maternity leave and was quite keen on the idea of staying at home - particularly in the context of dd's additional needs. But I've been left feeling quite anxious - a mix I think between loss of financial independence and identity, sorrow at skipping a job I would like, and also a little bit being scared by being a sahm 24/7. Dh and mil have now said that if I can unpick it they would look after g those two days and dd after preschool between them. I do think 2 days is perhaps a really lovely compromise if it is available to you.

I'm a sahm and likely to stay that way. Although i do have my youth work one evening a week.

Wohms, especially those with a long commute, your wisdom please? How much would you pay for an "emergency nanny" service - weekly retainer plus call out fee to cover the time between needing to collect from nursery (eg if dc ill, or train home delayed) and parent arriving. A friend of mine is interested - London commute and dh often works away, no local family - but I've never been a big earner/commuter so have no idea what's reasonable from that side! I thought it might be a nice little earner for me - i could be home with R, plus one of his friends if needed. Or leave him with dp/my mum at bedtime. I could have 3 on the books with a clause in the contract that i can only have 2 dc at a time first come first served not daydreaming about lovely pt job at all oh no

Thoughts please

Oh, and what insurance would i need?

Being with the mrs?!? The kids! Stupid iPhone...

Very interesting idea pidj. I have some thoughts but just hitting bedtime mania... Will be back later!

Okay. What are others thoughts on juice?

I've been offering O water since about 4/5 months. He takes at most 5mls, over a whole day. Twice he took 30mls, once was at 6 months, the other time was in the middle of the night when it was in a bottle and I tried to trick him in to not having a feed didn't fecking work.

These last few days he's been dropping that afternoon bottle, so just having 2 milk feeds a day.

I'm a bit worried now as that is a long time to go with out fluid. And 5mls of water if that, isn't going to cut it really, is it?

So I've just tried him with a tiny splash of juice in his cup. He drunk loads. Of course. In fact, he just picked his cup up and drank it himself - for the first time ever. He is using a straw, so it isn't going completely directly on his teeth.

So, what would you do? Would he let himself become dehydrated? I'm a bit torn as I said I wouldn't do it. But then surely there are bigger battles to fight?

Not sure. Help!

Thanks Bryz

Det i hate water. Only drink squash or tea/coffee unless I'm exercising. I would give him very dilute apple juice or hi-juice or Ribena. Nothing with artificial sweeteners, they're far far worse than a touch of sugar! R won't be having squash or juice for a long time, but he guzzles his water so it's not an issue I've faced.

R went down in 15 minutes. What's going on? I'm worried now, it's going to go wrong

Pidj - so... I think maybe it would depend on likelihood of call out. A family anticipating using you once in 3 months max might not be prepared to pay as high a retainer as one who might need you twice a month? Maybe fixing a contract with a set number of calls (to be renegotiated as needed) would be the way to go? I think you would also need to set terms around notice and your availability - how much notice you need to give of hols / days out of range - and what time you need calling by to be sure of making it to pick up. For an out of school club I'd expect to pay about 4.50 an hour I think. So I'd expect to pay maybe double that for emergency cover?

det I'm having the same issue. O drinks barely 10mls of water a day, although he is still on 4 milk feeds. I was also against the idea of juice but I may have to think about it.

Both of mine are ok on water - and dd won't touch juice or squash (a pain before her ops when I wanted to give her a sugar boost). So no idea det... I would be tempted to hold out but that's easy to say.

Evening all.

Pidj sounds like a good idea - although I have no idea what you could expect to charge. Childminders, or my limited experience of that woman, would have charged 1.5 times the daytime rate, ie. £6/hr. So I suppose you could charge that per hour, plus call-out fee. But I don't really know...I do know that today, trying desparately hard to finish work on time and get across town to pick F up, it would have been ace to know there was someone I could have called on!

Det - glad ds1 got on ok at school, and am at Os epic napping! F also won't really drink water. The odd sip. And she is prone to being a bit bunged up, which is tricky. I wouldn't be against giving a bit of weak juice. Even now, I can't stand drinking "plain" water, I'd rather hold out until I get something more palatable lol.

Pass it does sound more like PMS, doesn't it? I suppose hormones are still all over the place after pregnancy/birth etc - might it settle with time, do you think?

Stunt it's good that dh is a bit more on board, hopefully it continues. And well done J on having a better night. I think you (and countless others it must be said) are remarkable for having the energy to keep going. I would have broken long before.

Lily I think we're heading toward tooth no.5 too, lots of chomp chomp chomping lately, and eczema everywhere. And nappy rash.

I'd stick with water Det he'll not dehydrate himself just because he's not keen on water's taste but the only way to guarantee he'll not take water is to give juice. I agree with Pidj if you've got to give it avoid no added sugar shit - sugar is far better than carcinogenic chemicals.

So Jonas has only been crawling a few days and managed to tumble down the kitchen step today. He's got fast ! Pass me today's crap Mum award!

I was intending it to be last minute call outs - friend gets to Waterloo, finds the train is delayed, calls me, i drop everything to get to nursery for 6. In the case of illness, i would go straight there and hold the fort until a parent arrived - in a+e if necessary. We're the same friendship group so if her dc is exposed to something chances are R has been too iyswim.

I thought £20 pw retainer, then £30-50 call out, flat fee. This is a nanny service not cm or after school club, and i would get £10-12ph with my qualifications and experience :) I would stay as long as needed. If she's stuck in London at 4, it could be 9 pm before she gets in so I'd do 3 hours. Sometimes it might be 30 minutes. But the nursery is extortionate on fees after 6pm, and won't take sick dc. That's what i would be paid for.

Small person doing chin ups instead of sleeping.

Just picked up my last 6 months of pull possibly... Eeek!!

Pidj, I have many nanny friend in London, including my best friend and my boss had one too.

Retainer is not the way too, they haven't heard of it. However they would charge 20-50% more of their normal hourly rate for emergency cover. No call out fee. You need to work it out as gross, in London the normal is £12-13 gross so that would make it £15-17gross per hour for emergency cover. If more than one family needs you than you can charge 20% more of that and share it equally amongst them. However if you take R with you than this would drop significantly to £8-11gross per hour.

As for insurance, check Morton Michel for nanny liability insurance. Also get a first aid certificate if not having one? My friend also suggested that if you can register with Ofsted than they might be able to use childcare voucher to pay you.

Am just scouring ebay... saw this for any of the scottishers? Ends in 2 hours. It's £35 new from ELC. :)

I am going to try milk with a straw tomorrow. See if that gets a better reaction. His poo is extremely dry and like crumble. I really don't think he is having enough fluids.

Bah.... hysterical screamy back arching bedtime - think it's fair to say cheese is not a hit. I'm going to have a dairy free day tomorrow and Thursday try again on Friday and if the result is replicated then I'll knock the dairy challenge on the head for a while and focus on building his tolerance to soy instead. Bah....

Still after nine months off my beloved cheese my first thought when I tried it this morning wasn't om nom nom but wooo that's like turned milk boak.

Forgot to say earlier yay for the cheese YW!

Allergy test for O in the morning. Early start. Boooo!

Also straight after I have to go and see works OH doctor to see what I can and can't do when I go back.

Good job they are in the same building .

Oh fuck. Mega cross post .

YW I still can't eat yoghurts for that exact reason. The cheese thing passed quite quickly though

Det fab find - have bid on it - could be a great birthday pressie! Thanks chick. Can't believe I wasn't in love with cheese

You're welcome! If it wasn't for the postage I'd of well snapped it up!

I just keep searching ELC. And toy bundles. Keeps me out of trouble.

Normal reaction to cheese . I'm the same now over some foods I don't have. I have a terrible stomach ache when I have stuff cooked in oil. :(

Can I have a rant pls? My ex neighbour in London asked me if I could put him up for a week while he has some dental work done. I said that my parents could, we were talking about him going to see my dentist in my parents' city. Now he booked his flights and he is staying for 10 fucking days. And he changed his mind and wants to go with a dentist in my city as it's cheaper than my dentist.my flat is tiny and we would really disturb each other, i dont have a spare room to put him up and he would need to stay on sofa which is open with the kitchen. i am mega cross as I have my open uni exam in October and he would only leave 4 days before. Would I be unreasonable to tell him to book accommodation for £350 for 10 days? He would save appr £700 to go to the dentist here than in my parents' city so could afford paying for the apartment. I feel bad as I don't want him to stay with me in my tiny flat.

YW about cheese.

Pp - I've been reluctant to report update about FH and drinking. He has been ok last month or so. He hasn't stopped drinking but has toned it down.
He has been out a few times with friends and not come back in a complete state... This has always been the trigger in the past. Also when out with friends he has slept on sofa on return and not disturbed me.

It is not ideal. But I guess I'm getting baby steps ATM and hope it continues. My nxt hope is he cut down frequency of drinking. He drinks little (relatively) but often.

With it being my last month he has promised no big lads nights out. So I guess will see how he is.

I think the hospital incident scared him. But he thinks he can control it. Time will tell.

Evening all, am nackered but don't want to fall behind again so here I am! Had a really busy day today but feel better for getting some things done. Sister and nephews have gone home now so I can breathe and tidy my bloody house

pass really glad the docs are taking you seriously, if it happens again try to vent/come on here if you feel able to :)

Sounds like a busy day det!! Also re: juice, e is given water between meals and diluted fruit juice like apple or pear sometimes with meals (otherwise its water, he always gets a drink) he drinks more when he has juice but does drink water. I am tending towards juice with meals now and water inbetween now but on a warm day I will put juice in his water. I hate water, and would often drink nothing rather than water, usually. I personally feel it would be better to get fluids in him than to worry too much about juice, just maybe make it as weak he'll drink it? And use good stuff? E has also dropped to two bottles (first day I've tried it today) so I need to make more of a mental note myself to keep offering fluids.

Sorry dairy isn't working yw :(

lily it does sound like it would be really cramped :s I wonder if you explained the layout to him unless he knows already he might prefer to stay somewhere else/understand that it wouldn't be easy and such?