June 2013 (2) - attempting to get into a routine!

[MrsBri]

New thread for us ladies. :-)

Where are you? Here- north London- nursery is 50-60 quid a day, with a few outliers at 70-80 quid!

It doesn't make much sense for DH to go to work, especially if we have another. But as he's the boy he would never give up work!

I'm going back to work because I cant afford not to. While I'm enjoying maternity leave and will desperately miss little one when I go to work I think if I wasn't going back to work I'd really struggle. I'm really looking forward to having adult conversations about something that isn't a baby. There are only so many coffee mornings one can go to!

Actually I'm doing a few days work at the moment. I'm very rusty but quite enjoying getting my brain back in gear.

I don't know anyone who has a genuine choice re working after a baby...

I'm going back part-time. My DH will work compressed hours so to be on sprog duty either one day a week or one day per fortnight and we'll probably end up paying for 1-2 days of nursery but its not financially logical for me to work full time. I know a lot of people are fortunate to have willing family on the doorstep but we don't (they're far away rather than unwilling!).

It seems so far away this now, I find it hard to imagine what that's all going to look like.

The chat in most of my groups is already heading towards return to work. I do know some people with genuine choice. Some are going back some not. One is just to pay for private school. My job doesn't really work part time which is even more limiting!

All this talk of weaning - I'm not ready for that yet!! One thing I do remember hearing was that rice can cause constipation, and as babies starting on solids may get constipated anyway, we did avoid it. Went for a mix of 'purees' (actually just mashed a few veg from our dinner with our fork) and finger food and that worked well. I hate the fact that weaning can be another one of those topics where people can get really opinionated and vociferous towards anyone taking a different approach. Glad we're not like that here!

Was chatting about work today. I am not ready to work yet, as I had to leave jobs to move country I'd have to find a new job which I can't imagine being that flexible straight away when I'm the new person. Hoping to do some consultancy work as a way to earn money without needing childcare. Not quite yet though.

Curly sounds tough. I'd probably try and find alternative arrangements, both for your baby and to preserve your relationship with the ILs. Maybe you can present it to them as a positive - "We'd love you to baby sit, but would rather you enjoyed the time with baby rather than having to work so hard looking after him each week." Maybe you could ask them to look after him when he can't go to childcare, or on other occasions. Say it would be much more helpful to you if you knew you could rely on them to help out at odd times, and if they were already looking after him all week, you'd feel bad asking for more help. Anyway good luck.

Those of you returning to work, is it all organised ? I am yet to request flexible working and am burying my head a bit about it. There was a cats bum face at the mention of part time before I left but realistically it is only 1 1/2 days a week less at quieter times that I want to drop.

I haven't gone back to work after having DD yet, she's 6 :o (although tbf I was made redundant while on mat leave). Though I am ramping up my sewing business again albeit very slowly.

I'm thinking of starting weaning with M fairly soon - in the next week or two. He's 5 months old on Wednesday and I'm not quite sure how it happened! He'll just be offered bits of fruit and veg to start with though as we'll be BLW. Kind of looking forward to it, he sits in the highchair at mealtimes (if he's awake) now, and drools all down himself while he watches. He makes little chewing motions while he's doing it, too :)

My boss is coming round today to talk work (Im using my KIP days to do some work) so I think I might chat about logistics of coming back. Im going back in Jan - ithink Im the earliest of my friends.

Im hoping to go back 3 days a week core with a floating4th day. DH works shifts so is often around midweek. This way we could pay for 2.5 days of nursery but i can work up to 3.5 per week on average.

Ive heard from colleagues that everyone is talking aboit me coming back part time as if it is a done deal which is reassuring.

Oh and Rue what do you make on your sewing business? Ive been asked by afew people to make things like curtains and Im thinking about it to make some extra cash. Ive lost weight and none of my jeans fit but Im too skint to buy any.

Not in London but nurseries here are £50 a day and you don't get the higher wage that you'd get in London for doing the same job. We are going to struggle but we'd struggle more if I went back to work (especially with the cost of transport added to childcare costs). We have no family anywhere near (3hrs away minimum) so we have no help at all.

Let us know how you get on with the blw, Rue.

I should add that I'm not a career person so I'm quite happy about not going back to work.

Hope your meeting with yr boss goes well Sunny And if you've got a skill like sewing then I'd say go for it and earn a bit from it.

I work part self employed and am going to do a tiny bit of that from next month (but it will only require c4hrs of my brain over the month).

Good luck with the weaning Rue! Look forward to hearing how it goes.

Sunny, I make stuff for kids mostly, but do things locally eg curtains as well. So clothing, sunhats, accessories, name banners, etc etc. I've been asked to give sewing lessons to a few people, so am considering doing that, too. It's convenient because I can fit it in around the kids and at the moment it just pays for itself (fabric, sewing machine, thread etc etc and generates a bit of cash for my time).

Hope the meeting with your boss goes well - encouraging that colleagues are assuming you'll be back part time!

Ha - was typical of my boss. I said we probably need to talk about me coming back soon. Him: Ach don't worry about it. We can talk about it in a month or so's time.

Guess he's not all that worried about how I'll slot back in! Most of the time I like working for such a laid back company. Occasionally it bugs me though as I love planning and writing lists (not even ashamed of that).

Glad your boss is quite laid back Sunny, even if it gets in the way of your list making!

We're well and truly in the next wonder week (or rather, according to the book, wonder month, sob). Dream feeding was working until now, but doesn't seem to make any difference at the moment - he's back to 2+ wakings per night anyway (previously was 1 max). Should I persevere with the dream feed anyway?

That's great re work, Sunny :-)

I'm not allowed to go back part time. I'm not sure what I'll do, but I don't want to be out of the house for 12 hours which I am in this job. Plenty of time to work it out.

We've been up most of the night due to teething pains. Pass me the match sticks.

I guess a lot of companies don't want to talk about it to closer to the date, because you might decide not to come back afterall.

Personally, I'm not sure what to do. Basically, I don't want to go back to work and we can afford for me to be a SAHM. Childcare costs for 2DCs are going to eat the bulk of my wage for the next few years. However, whlie everything points to me being a SAHM, there's the fear of what if I don't go back now and then can't get a good job in 5-10 years time when I'm ready to work again. What if I am effectively giving up for good?

I have a good group of 'Mummy friends' now, but what if they start drifting back to work and I don't?

It's so tricky. Combined with the fact that since i started MatLeave our HR person has been made redundant, I'm not sure who I should be contacting to discuss it and I can't be bothered finding out this side of Christmas (is that very bad?). Perhaps if I go into London a few times on the run up to Christmas and pop into the office it might feel more like I'm back in the team...

(Oh and for costs, I'm outside the M25, it's £57 a day for nursery costs, £6-7 per hour for childminder and £11 per hour for nannies)

MrsBri - could you look for something else or will all jobs in your sector only be full time? Could you do a 1 day working from home?

Dontmind, I went to see HR a few weeks ago. The woman effectively told me that while they will let me have a short lunch break so I can leave 30 mins earlier, they won't let me work from home. Obviously they won't tell me that officially until I apply for flexible working, but I know it's a no. :-/

I can't get my exact job more locally part time, though I may be able to get something. I don't even like it anymore to be honest, and lots of places are making people redundant too.

I'm not due back now til early March so I need to consider my options after Christmas.

oli and rreow and possibly dontmind and georgie; are we still meeting next Thursday? And if so are we still going to John Lewis? I ask because if so I will get some stuff delivered there to collect!

Yes, it's in my diary!! I don't think we'd agreed a time yet?

My issue is there are only 2 companies in Scotland I could work for including mine. Lots of people go independent when they have kids but Id hate it. Aside from the unreliable income I like going to an office with lots of people, i hate having to sell myself and I think if I was left to my own devices Id be a lazy arse and skint.

I am sending my informal request for part time today. my boss is not known for her empathy or ability to think about changes so I am crossing my fingers.

Haven't heard back from my boss yet after sending an email the other week re returning.... Not that I really want too, but DP is just starting out self employed, so all depends how that goes, so keeping my options open at the moment.

I'm qualified in childcare, and it almost makes me consider doing child minding as we have a couple of schools close by, something I might look into. Although I don't drive, and wonder if that would make a big difference. All things to think about!

I have no advice on the job front, I went back full time when Theiah was 11weeks old I do manage a day nursery so she is with me all the time which is lovely I can earn money have free child care and spend all the time I want with her

Theiah is now waking in the night again nightmare!! After full nights no waking it was amazing now she's waking up like clockwork again grrrr nearly time for weaning we're starting at 5 months so not long now she was 4 months on Sunday