March 2013 - still too sleep deprived to think of a funky title

[StormyBrid]

Old thread here.

We seemed to be running out of space (again) so I made us a new thread.

I'm 33 too, Any. And my body is ruined!! It feels very odd, it being so squishy and with all the extra rolls hanging off I'm a recovered anorexic so I still struggle looking in the mirror at normal size, let alone 'overweight' (according to the bmi charts). I still get tempted to resort to my old assured weight loss methods sometimes, but it's been a long road to recovery and there's no way I'm going back now. My heart condition is a lasting reminder of why not to revisit that chapter of my life

I did an interview with LBC today about the riots and the scandal of the so-called 'compensation fund' that wasn't actually paid out to anyone. Still makes me really angry. I did loads of press after it happened but I had to stop in the end because I was getting flashbacks and thinking about it all the time wasn't helping. Hoping this interview may help raise awareness of the general plight of victims, as I'm pretty sure the public think we all got help as Camo promised.

Trying to figure out the logistics of the various stages of moving house - if only we could just do it all on the day... But my piano has to go separately, meaning they need me to be there to let them in at either end, and then we have to come back to remove all picture hooks (so pointless - they're perfectly well put up!) and put the furniture back in the exact places it was for check in. Then AGAIN for checking out, where they go through the inventory with us. Gah! With DS in tow and OH working nights until Sept it's a right PITA to have to traverse London by tube.

DS still saving up all his eating fir just before bed and during the night, the times we wrote down over the past few days show he has absolutely zero routine now! He used to be clockwork, no idea what's gone wrong

worse i have just changed the beds too. It is the first time I've not ironed the bed linen. I am officially a sloven. Bet you found time didn't you? You do need to get onto one of those there online stores and buy a sleeping bag. They revolutionise sleeping. And as for the toy boy, yes, I did well there. It's a long and pretty embarrassing story....

any and soyo thanks for the reassurance about the 3 hourly feeds. It all goes to pot in the late afternoon for us because if she sleeps more than I might expect then she ends up feeding at 3. Then you have the dilemma: try and go for a crazy 4+ hours until bedtime feed and risk a big meltdown or squeeze in 'extra' feed at 5. I always go for the latter which might be why I have a 98th centile bundle of lovliness And, any well done on those marathon sleeps!! Soyo and I are delighted for you and just a tiny bit jealous . Have your boobs acclimatised now?

leni good luck with the logistical challenges. Time to get some action from that sling eh?
plonky incense and those plastic fags you suck nicotine out of is what helped me give up smoking. Gave up on my 30th birthday and never a puff since but I still fancy it 7 years on. Wine became the new vice. There's never a good time for giving up is there maybe leave it til you're 30 And, know that I'm looking to you for pearls of wisdom about BLW so do keep us posted with your experiences.

Wishing you all well for the night ahead. We had a jolly good storm at bedtime so it's freshened up. Fresh summer rain air, a bath (now the bloody bath is fixed) and fresh sheets await.

leni - massive un-MN hug for getting through such a big thing in your life. No comparison really but as a Weight Watcher, I struggled watching myself get 'big' again throughout my pregnancy and practically didn't look in a mirror for the last two months, only to do my make up. I didn't even have any pictures taken as I felt sooooo fat. i've got 2 stone to lose and it's tough but I keep reminding myself that I did it once and I can do it again. I will be glad to get DD on solids as I think i'll be very aware of what she's eating and that should help me eat more of the right things.

Thanks for the offer soyo - i'll get my DD to give yours a call so she can let her in on the secret to a good night's sleep. Otherwise I think they are more or less the same baby

Still bf here with a bit of formula top up (in the region of 300-350ml per day). 5 daytime feeds and a dream feed. Have had one overnight feed too but he's slept through the last two nights so that's been it.

I am paranoid he's not getting enough as he is very quick on the boob now, but think he's doing ok. Will be weighing him this week (doing so fortnightly) so will see then.

No full rolls yet this end, he flips onto either side with gay abandon, but then appears to see the floor approaching and change his mind. And hasn't worked out front to back - far too busy sucking his fist when unhappy on his tummy to do anything about it!

I've ordered a high chair, though it may take a while to arrive. Am going to hold off on weaning for a bit yet I think, and probably start beginning of next month when he'll be 5.5months (assuming tongue thrust gone by then). But thought it'd be good to get him in it, watching me eat and poss give him a sippy cup to play with also.

We will also have to think about the big move into his room. I want it done before I hand over to dh and go back to work end of next month. As he's started sleeping through (????) then hope that next couple of weeks may provide an opportunity. It would be lovely to get back to my own bed and abandon the spare room!

Oh, and I'm 34. Thats why mission get my figure back is such a military operation Dh has ten years or so on me, and is the reason we tried when we did, he didn't want to be a really old dad (we both have older fathers ourselves).

Leni slow and steady wins the race with weight loss. You'll get back to a healthy body image - and I'd wager that you look better than you think you do. As much as I joke about my 'baby shelf' extra tyre, I absolutely detest it. Being a bit overweight takes me back to feeling fourteen and going through phases of starvation and bingeing. I can't claim to have an eating disorder in my past but what you've posted really resonates. I did a bit of crash dieting a few months ago and it's shifted the majority of it, but days of stomach cramps and feeling like I was about to collapse - and some stern words from my mother - have made me slow down and slightly increase exercise. My target is feeling good by Christmas. I simply refuse to get on scales or measure my waist, it's disgusting. I have no doubt that these feelings are why I'm so angry with my hv for her ill considered remarks.

You must be so proud of your turnaround in the last two years. Made homeless by a bunch of thieving twunts and now moving into your very own home with your lovely baby. Sod the routine, you've already achieved a great deal.

Phew I think I need a lie down after all that emoting.

pud - my DH is also elderly at 47. Mentally, though, he's 12. Sometimes it's like having two children...

Wow Leni, you're a hell of a survivor aren't you?

I'm 29 but as DH is a few years older (and looks it too) it saves me from worrying about the big birthdays.

As for weight loss, it's never been my thing bit I could do with a bit of toning up, pregnancy has just left me nicely flabby with that wonderful empty pouch stomach and this has driven me to doing bootcamp in the pissing rain! I think if I really put my mind to it and did dieting too I could get a proper figure back but I can't stand the idea of making myself feel guilty for eating like a pig when I fancy it! I'm a glutton!

Plonko I'm kind of hoping that by 50 I'll be well on my way to the wearing purple and not caring stage of life, so if the worselet wants shave her head and smoke dope on the back lawn my plan is to embarrass her like totally yeah by insisting on joining in.

Leni you're amazing. Tell yourself that every single day because it is true.

Eco Iron sheets? Of course

As for body image, mine is sh*te. I've always been built like a whippet. I've spent most of my adult life on one form of build up regime or another, and amazed the entire neighbourhood by actually falling pregnant in the first place. I amazed myself tbh. I loved being pregnant, loved the curves, loved the bump, loved feeling feminine, and was sad when it all went. So I think that goes to show, big, small, fat, thin, we're all of us a bit insecure and none of us should be. It's pretty amazing what these imperfect bodies of ours can do isn't it? There are entire people out there that we made!

As for DH's mine isn't the oldest. Yay!!! 42 last time I looked and post his mid-life crisis thank god. He ticked all the boxes on that too, which makes the prospect of the worselet's teenage years seem a breeze in comparison.

Eco long and pretty embarrassing stories are my absolute favourite thing. ???????

Well, we have made it 300 bloody noisy screamy miles to Wales, where tiddler and I are joining DF and DStepM for a lovely peaceful break. Except my stinky giant of a 19yo brother is here with 2 of his equally stinky mates. They are making noise and keeping me (not dd!) awake.

I wish I had some pearls of wisdom as to how dd got onto a 7,11,3,7,11 routine. It's not set in stone, but fairly consistent. Unfortunately I can't really give any advice because, much like our bedtime routine which she insisted on from about week 3, dd decided for herself to be lovely and predictable and well behaved, I had no impact!

BBQ yesterday, with hilarious results. Our adventure into blw has now resulted in dd sucking the life out of some bread, chewing a cucumber, licking a bit of red pepper, and gnawing into a whole bloody corn on the cob! The state of her face after this was a sight to behold. Fairly sure nothing but a bit of bread-juice has gone down yet, but that's not really the point at the moment.

I'm 28, DH is 35. But at the moment, I feel OLD. I want to accidentally get drunk in a pavement bar/cafe whilst smoking a million cigarettes (something I've still avoided, a year fag free now, and it still gets no easier)

Body image. Interesting one. I'm officially 'very obese', and feel it. But it wasn't always so. I was a size 12 til I was about 20, but grew up thinking I was hugely fat (I was curvy and well developed compared to my skinny friends). Clearly my image of myself was completely wonky then. And I think instead of this causing me to starve myself, instead my brain said 'well you're a fat cow, so you might as well just eat more.' I hate the way I look now at nearly 17st, and with dd bound to be getting more active soon I'm determined that a) I can keep up with her, b) I don't teach her that fat=ok, and c) she doesn't get picked on for being a fat mum. So I'm doing something about it.

Hi all, I am 37 and dh is 43 but this week I feel about 80!

I am pretty much ebf, I try a botte a day and she takes about 2 to 3 ounces, sometimes less under duress. I am thinking about giving up the bottle entirely as its the only time of day she cries. We have ended up in a 7.15ish, 9.30, 11.45, 1, 3, 5 and 7 feeds and then madam sleeps all night, I wake up around now with boulders. I hate feeding in public so I am now pretty limited about going out. I have a real love hate relationship with breastfeeding. Part of me is relieved she is growing and seems to be doing really well. The other part of me hates how tired it makes me feel. Not just a bit tired but downright exhausted. There is just no time for anything else which makes me sad for her brother etc.

I just got my period from no where yesterday and god it's a lot. Since its been well over a year since my last one and the birth and week after is a blur I feel pretty crap!

The dilemma here is do I just wait on the botte til I have to go back to work (1oct) or face the crying early. She seems to be feeding more and more frequently in the day as she gets bigger. Keep trying food but no real success yet with that either.... But don't think we can squeeze in any more feeds! My plan is to be able to drop the 9.30 one one she has some breakfast and swap the 1pm one for lunch and 5 pm one for dinner .... If only madam would comply!

So is there even one of us with no body issues? I was always the fat one, lost four stone (and got down to overweight by BMI) but really struggling to get back to healthy eating. The fact I can't persuade the man to eat proper meals instead of biscuits is not helping. Was hoping to be back to conception weight by Christmas but that's two stone away and looking unlikely.

We managed 7,11,3,7 yesterday. Then 11.45 and 4 with 3.5 flozzes each. I should get her up but suspect she won't eat much, so may wait a bit then go 8,1130,3,1830. Yesterday was reasonable intake but only because of two night feeds. Really hope she'll start increasing these daytime feeds soon.

Also, what is this "ironing sheets" business? I could probably do with an explanation of changing sheets too

And glad to hear the man isn't the oldest at 42, though it sounds like we have the biggest age gap - fourteen years. Kind of wish it hadn't taken him six years to make a move, because it makes me a little sad that I never really knew him young. Also if he hadn't waited so long DD would probably be either dc2 or dc3!

I concur, ironing sheets? Doesn't that cut into wine time?

Ok stop everything - I'm reading 'ironing'. I don't iron shirts, let alone sheets?! I like my clothes to look like my skin - wrinkly!

I'm only a stone and a half from pre-pg weight but on my frame that looks more. I was blessed with a pea head which makes my body look bigger (or so I tell myself). We all need to remember that all we're meant to be doing right now is getting by, and as soon as these sprogs turn into toddling ones the fat will be falling off . I'm quite surprised at my general happiness throughout all this baby having actually, considering I have such a chequered history of beating myself up (I have arms and legs covered in scars from severe depression in my early twenties, which led me to have my tattoos to stop random people shouting abuse at me in the street!). I drink far too much booze and take lots of painkillers for my back when I could just try to manage the pain with the bare minimum, but I think part of that is me having an after-pg-and-bfing blowout! I do wonder if my liver is just a shrivelled prune...

My OH is a toy boy at 29, I've dragged him into the world of grown ups but he is definitely 12 mentally. Funny how despite the huge age ranges of our DH's they all exhibit the same odd behaviour and are there any DHs here in their thirties or have we all gone either side?

DS has just woken up and seen that I've replaced OH, so he's now grinning and thrashing his arms and legs wildly in celebration, it'll be time for shouting practise in a mo, my favourite thing

Hi all! My DH and I are both 28 so pretty young still but we both were quite ambitious and pushed though university degrees and into our careers without pausing so we are very established in work etc for our ages. DH also seem comparatively adult compared to some of the things I read here although has his own foibles such as expecting me to have a sixth sense about where he leaves his stuff and also being quite happy to survive off cheese sandwiches and biscuits ( stormy just bought DH the book "My Daddy Cooks" and his love of being a daddy seems to be winning him over to actually preparing meals!). I will be eternally grateful that we decided to have babies so young as with the death of DD1 I don't think I could have handled a ticking body clock on top. We are still the first of our peers to have children and that makes us a bit odd (as does running away from the pressures of working in the City so early!).

As for body issues - the less said the better! Totally understand where you are coming from leni. Not keen on my saggy belly but worse is all the stretch marks as my girls (especially DD2) stretched me beyond recognition! My poor skin looks torn up on my belly and breasts and thighs. am at a loss as to what to do about it or whether I should just accept it gracefully and be grateful for it (as my DH keeps telling me!). Could do with shedding a bit too but at the moment sugar is what keeps me going and when I tried going sugar free for a couple of days I turned into a very grizzly bear!

We recently moved house and DD started sleeping better (with just one night feed at 2-3am after going to be at 7 but last couple of days have seen a new growth spurt so feeding every 1-1.5 hours which is just exhausting! Can't wait for that to be over. On the weaning front we have decided to start tasting and playing with food but nothing more serious. DD is in love with gnawing on cucumber and apple sticks though and gets agitated when she has nothing in her hand to munch on when we are eating together. Just going to build up slowly and see if we can avoid purees but difficult to tell if that will work as at the moment DD tends to gag on any bits that do make it in!

Seems that I'm so far the youngest at 25 (although considering how many I went to school with had children in teens, it doesn't seem too young!) and OH is 27 next month. I too was the first of my close friends, which does wonders for presents for DS! They all go to fancy places like Mamas and Papas and Ted Baker (yes, he has Ted Baker socks ). I seem to have set off a little trend though as now 3 of my friends are all due before Christmas

As for body issues...don't. Although I'm in pre-preg clothes completely, I can't stand to look at myself. DS clearly likes stripes as my stomach is covered and the overhang from the section (which I'm told rarely goes) is awful. I was never skinny skinny and used to think I could do with losing weight, but what I'd give for my body to be like that again. And I know, it's all because of the most precious thing in the world but we can all still be grumpy about it! I plan on reminding DS what he did to my body when he's older. That, and the fact that he made me miss mother's day this year

On a lighter note, we now have full rolling here, although he does sometimes forget. And he's trying lots of mushed up food which all goes down very well. Will be getting him weighed tomorrow to see how chunky he really is.

This just happened:
All 3 of us had a nap, DS woke up so of course we both did. I went to prepare a bottle and ring DF. Came into OH and DS with bib and bottle and asked OH to feed him, to which he replied - "in a minute, I've just woken up...". Right. Then he says "my head's full at the moment, I'd like it if you helped out more with sorting out moving house" so I said "I do help out as much as poss, but I also have DS to look after all day and night."He replies with "it's not that hard."

Oh something. Sounds like mine when I ask him to do anything to do with DD - 'give me a minute' doesn't cut it when the screams are getting louder. I just stopped asking. And as for the 'help out more' - pffffft. Not helpful when you think you're doing all you can and they seem to want more. Take a deep breath and tell him to look after DS while you pack, as it's impossible to do both at the same time. Alternatively, find your biggest box and ask DH to get in it while you tape it shut and chuck it down the stairs....

If its not that hard then he won't haves problem giving him his bottle after just waking up or with a head full of stuff will he? < smiling sweetly emoticon

Oh dear Something, does he need a clout upside the head? I'm very tempted to get our DPs together to babysit so we can go for a boozy lunch!

I'm supposed to be taking a friend out tomorrow for lunch. I'm fetching her, driving us a fair distance and paying - it's a pre wedding treat as she cba with a hen do. this is the girl who dumped her fiance a few months back. Turns out its back on and the weddings in 11 days. I'm a fricking bridesmaid. Anyway, she's now not responding to any messages or answering her phone. Oh how I do love being left in the lurch!

Oh dear Something, does he need a clout upside the head? I'm very tempted to get our DPs together to babysit so we can go for a boozy lunch!

I'm supposed to be taking a friend out tomorrow for lunch. I'm fetching her, driving us a fair distance and paying - it's a pre wedding treat as she cba with a hen do. this is the girl who dumped her fiance a few months back. Turns out its back on and the weddings in 11 days. I'm a fricking bridesmaid. Anyway, she's now not responding to any messages or answering her phone. Oh how I do love being left in the lurch!

Thank you all. As annoying as it is, it's actually relieving to know that we're all going through the same thing, isn't it? Although it'd be much better if the 'same thing' was bubble baths, manicures, massages and wine drinking!

We went for a walk to talk about things which helped us both, he explained why he gets so stressed and said he realises he could do more to help out with DS. I told him that while I understand that he works and works hard, his shift ends, mine doesn't! Then we came home to a HUGE poo-splosion in the bath, we had to laugh! Now he's making me dinner - breaded camembert although, plonk I'm definitely up for a boozy lunch. Think we can convince them?

Something I know how you feel. I worked stupidly long hours up to being 7 months pg and never got any help from my OH. He thought that his work was harder obviously. Something in society still permits this behaviour from men for some reason - surely as they're so desperate to be the provider, they should be tough enough to work long hours and not bloody moan?!

There is NO EXCUSE. I've never ever used the 'I've just woken up' thing, but OH tries it every day, to avoid talking, feeding, nappies, anything. Even if I've slept less than him. What was his reason for 'getting so stressed'?

P.s. I'm currently thinking about how to get a nanny and literally dying inside. I just don't want to leave DS with a stranger. I wish work would let me go back part time, because I'll never get this time back

Big hug Leni, try not to feel bad. Ds will be fine, and it'll be great for his social development to be around other people. My Dsis had to put her dd into nursery 5 days a week from 10 months, and DNeice has thrived. She's a wonderful outgoing bubbly little thing, not a bit shy, with loads of confidence, and an amazing bond with her mum. I know you'll miss him, but he'll be fine, and when you walk in the door in the evening his little face will light up because you are his mum.

I read your earlier posts, and just wanted to say you are an amazing tough lady and ought to be very proud of yourself. It takes guts to overcome internal demons, real proper guts.

As for the rubbish DHs... From what I have seen men take a very long time to grow up, but most do, eventually. Mine has only just got there. Fatherhood is a big help on that front, as is a supportive MIL as no man is ever too old to take a proper ear bashing from his mum.