Ok, nose blown, I am back 
Someone asked if I was going on to the bar course now (sorry, I forgot who it was)- unfortunately not. It was my intention to start an LLM part time over two years in October. It seemed like an ideal situation as I could maintain the education while treading water until the babies were big enough to start nursery. Once they were in nursery, I thought I could do the bar course, again part time over two years, and then they would be big enought for school. My plan unravelled in several respects- firstly, although I could have just squeaked together the tuition fees by Oct, I had not factored in childcare for two babies for six hours a week. It doesn't sound like a lot, but it mounts up and there is no room in the weekly budget for that kind of expenditure. I have put in an application to defer entry until 2014. As far as the bar course goes, that is £15000, or thereabouts, and I have always mentally relied on the possibility of a merit-based scholarship from my Inn of Court to help meet the fees.
Sadly, the fact that I am fairly sure I made a bollock of my dissertation (I actually cannot bear to look at it to check) means that I will not get a first, the scholarship will be more difficult to obtain and means that if I wanted to carry on down this route, the LLM would be almost obligatory to improve my overall qualification. The question that leaps out of course is 'should someone without outstanding marks even be thinking about this career'? And further still, 'should a woman with a family of five children be looking to spend potentially £20000 to try and start a career that she may not be clever enough to do, or never find pupillage in?' Sorry, this is turning into a bit of a stream of consciousness! I am not doing anything for this next year at least, possibly longer, but re-evaluation will be booked in for about this time next year. I shall stop bleating about it now :(
pr Are we still on for next week?
yw It's all normal stuff, but the bond doesn't go away. M (my 5 yo) has, like I predicted, become Daddy's best friend since I had the twins and I felt like our relationship had been knocked dreadfully. She's come back around now though and it's great. Remember, J's relationship with his father and others is all going toward creating a wonderful, trusting, well-grounded human being and while he needs you the most, these interactions are so important for well-rounded development. He won't feel like he is not as close to you anymore, he will feel like he is getting closer to his father, which is a separate proposition iyswim.
Balls, there were so many people I wanted to namecheck and I'm soo bliddy tired, I can't remember any of it. I shall away to bed, but endeavour to participate in dis ussions better tomorrow!