Dec 2011: Running around after our Cybermidgets...

[Aethelfleda]

Roll up, roll up, it's the Dec 11 new thread.
Prepare to be upgraded (if you can catch them!)

Hii, have been AWOL for a bit (again) but just in time to catch a new thread.
Figgy - so so sorry to hear your news. (((Hugs))) Hope you're ok. You might remember my friend suffered the same just recently. She hadn't bonded particularly, but the after effects and procedures that follow the MC made her feel particularly miserable and fairly traumatised by it all. :(
Just take your time, get some rest, put yourself first for a bit if you can. Take care.

In other news, dH has a gambling counselling appt in July, in London. (So that's helpful! Not!) but never mind, he's going to contact them to see if either it can take place in Manc or not at 9:30am so that a train fare can be bought for non rush hour prices!
We finally had a BIG chat last night, and have decided that Relate is the way forward. We're also changing our habits to make time for each other too. We'll see.
Currently in a taxi in the way to the airport. A couple of nights in Warsaw never did anyone any harm! And light meetings too - nothing too arduous! And with my good mate/colleague. And The sun is shining! All good.

Sorry figgy, that msg sounded thoroughly depressing.
My friend is of course fully recovered and happy and well now... And shall be drinking wine with me shortly on our way to Warsaw.

Now it sounds like I actually only have one mate/colleague...
Ha!
Wish us luck. The only direct flights to Warsaw are with the dreaded Ryanair (scum-suckers).

Oh dear Oi ... not a fan of Ryanair.

Lashing here. Soaked after walk back from playground but at least Minimopsy is dry! disgusted to be made come home though... was kicking and screaming at being put into buggy in spite of the fact that it had started pelting it down!

Figgy, hope you're doing OK

Hi ladies I'm fine really it's not been any worse than a normal period was only 6ish weeks I almost been forgetting its not a normal one. I'm happy that we want another but it won't be this year we even think about it for various reasons. nice to hear about your friend oi and ur progress with DH!!

Been in London 4 meetings today in my winter coat and scarf my brolly was blown inside out and it's just thoroughly miserable on train home to my men

Nice to

Just marking place on new thread - thanks aethel (again I think!)
figgy hope you are doing ok.
oi - well done on being so proactive. I am rubbish - just bury my head in the sand about DH and I get on with the rest of life which is pretty ok.
Hideous hideous day here. Meant to be camping this weekend!!! I think not. fair weather camper me!

Thanks for new fred aethel!

oi, hope he manages to get a quicker appointment. Good luck with relate...although you probably need it more with Ryanair. Barstewards.

Figgy, have you tried taking a pregnancy test? I got a BFN on the 2nd day of my 10 day bleed (6/7wk mc) so didn't bother with EPU because of that.

A sleeping/grobag question; what's the best 'nextstep' if they're still in a travel cot? DS can undo his zippers now so shall we go for blankets? dreamgenni twinkletog? Back to sleepsuits? Ducttape to the mattress?

fanks for new Fred Aethel

Oi Hope DH can get an appt closer to home also hope relate works out ok,. Ryanair - have fun!

Figgy hope your OK?

Things are relatively calm here so fx things carry on getting better. throwing myself into working all day must be helping

Right, the computer's throwing a bit of a wobbler so it's taken a while to get on...

Glad your DH has got something booked Oi, but what a wait and what a journey And that's good on Relate too; I've known people who just attend it once a year as an MOT as it were, and really hope it helps.

Another one v v pissed off with the weather- can't believe DP and I haven't sat out in the back yard once this year! When I have my new garden I shall have a summer house that I can shiver in under cover ha ha won't be able to afford a bloody cardboard box but never mind next summer.

Can't be much help I'm afraid GBT, DS is still in his worm (grobag) and wears a full onesie underneath.

We've got the carpet organised and being laid next Wednesday, and have sorted with the agents- will sign on the dotted line tomorrow. Full steam ahead!

Salmon Catching place marking

6th Wedding Anniversary today and we are waiting for the kids to go to sleep then off to have fun, Air is singing Foo Fighters skin and bones to himself in bed. Go to sleep its 9 oclock child

Morning all

Congrats on Anniversary yesterday air it is our 6th too on Sunday as we up in Scotland anyway we off to stay where we got married for the night unfortunately I expect I'll still be bleeding so no naughtiness for dh!!

Gbt I will get a pg test today c what it says then maybe re call the drs.

We had to cancel our night Hope had a night terror and Air wet the bed.

Air didnt go to sleep till 10pm, Hope had night terror at 11pm, i got to sleep at 12, Air wet bed at 5am and dh got up striped bed and i had to make it and then dh got up for work at 6am and Hope wake for a feed at 7am and then Air got up at 8am and he wake Hope up at 8:30am

Its raining and we are all going to get wet on school run as rain cover is in car and dh has car. Yeasterday Air got put on time out at school for punching Stampyboy on arm.

Im so tired.

Figgy sorry for your lose and hope you have a good day on Saturday. Where in Scotland did you get married?

gary I think a Childs duvet is ok after 1 year old? I know dd1 had a small duvet of her own by this stage as she hated her grobags, although we didn't give her a pillow till she was past 2yo.

air our children must be plotting together, both mine are refusing bed before about 9.45 everynight, I think it must be the extra sunlight.

Its pouring with rain here too- im planning on taking the dds out when I get home from work and I'll be damned if this rain is going to stop be. I'm making them hardy! There was an amazing rainbow yesterday evening from it all too.

All packed and ready to go to Majorca tomorrow. Looking forward to some sunshine. Not looking forward to getting up at 3am. I think DS will be hard work on the flight and coach transfer - the boy is not a fan of sitting still!

I hope you all have a good week and that the weather perks up!

Faffin have a fab time. Although think we had all the sun last week as its raining there now apparently.

Had a low day today and exhaustion which made me feel giddy and nauseous - not a nice feeling!

aethel hope the showers are luffly!

oi glad to hear about the appointments for DH and with Relate. Fingers crossed for you that this is the way forward you're looking for.

mopsy we're having kicking and screaming buggy hate too - DS just wants to stand up on the seat looking up at me

jiggle I'm a no-weather camper Maybe if we lived somewhere hot and dry, like southern California or something...but then there would be other nasty things like scorpions and black widow spiders, shudder.

gary we stopped using the grobag a few months ago when DS was standing up in his sleep and then falling over and waking himself up. Now he's back in sleepsuits (with a cotton vest underneath) and 2-3 layers of light cotton blankets. We usually do have to tuck him in again when we go to bed ourselves as he's thrashed around and kicked it all off, so we do dress him in warmish velour sleepsuits so he doesn't freeze.

air I really hope you get a break soon - you sound so exhausted in your posts

Had an appointment with the head consultant midwife at the hospital today to discuss ELCS vs VBAC. Unfortunately she didn't have my notes from last time, but she did agree that scheduling an ELCS around 39-40 weeks was a good idea, to avoid the huge explosion of weight that DS put on in the 2 weeks I went overdue and the resulting exhaustion (even my biggest maternity clothes stopped fitting after 41 weeks).

I showed her a picture on my phone of what I looked like at 41+5 and she was shocked and said looking at my frame a 4.4kg baby probably would have been too big for me to deliver, even if I had managed to progress and dilate fully. Also she thought I probably was exhausted by the huge extra weight by the time I did go into labour so I probably wasn't able to labour in the best possible way.

However, the good thing is that she wants DH to come back with me in 2 weeks when she does have my notes to do a full review of how it went last time - I don't remember much of the bad stuff, but poor old DH is still really upset when he thinks about a lot of it so I think going through the notes with her will help him get some closure and understand what happened.

Bugger we had a 1.5hr bedtime tantrum he's finally down worst bedtime ever!!

Have a lovely time Faffin!!

Queen, how's the foot?

Sorry you had to cancel your night Air, hope you get a break soon.

Will try and find one of those popper duvet things this week then, blankets would just end up being tossed across the floor atm.....he likes to stand, defiant, pointing proudly at his nightlight/dummy he's managed to throw furthest from the cot!

Xiao, hope it does help DH (and you don't end up remembering traumatic stuff!), she sounds like a brill consultant to have!

I think I need to have a word with my midwife (next week, first apt since early feb!), as I'm quite nervous about something going wrong..but I don't want them to think I need counselling/medication & not support a homebirth, so I don't know how honest to be with her!

Oh faffin - sounds lovely have a great time. It has got to be better weather than here surely! We have one holiday booked to see family in Denmark in July and were thinking of another week somewhere but neither DH or I are being proactive about it as we are not getting on well again and I find holidays with him and the kids such hard work - it is like taking 3 DCs away sometimes but without the ability to make decisions on your own, which you would have as the only adult!

air sorry about your pants night. DS sometimes gets night terrors but didnt start till after 3 years. He is not really awake when they occur and cannot remember them in the morning but can be quite scary for you as a parent.

xiao - your consultant sounds fab and a really good idea to take DH along with you next time

Re duvets - we still use a grobag on Freya and have just bought 2 bigger ones for summer. I think DS was using a childs duvet in the cot by now but he was, and still is, a deeper sleeper, whereas F thrashes around such a lot she would come out of it and get cold.

I just want summer to come now - so bored of rain and cold - we still have our heating on! (well on a thermostat so comes on when it needs to still) Camping this weekend is filling me with dread!

Sorry to hear your news figgy, hope you're having a well needed break in Scotland.

With bedding DS has blankets in his cot but probably spends just as much time under a duvet as he is still in our bed most nights if he wakes in the early hours. His sleep is terrible and cosleeping is the only way I can cope with work the next day.

We seem to have had a bit of a language explosion here and in the space of a couple of weeks gone from saying a couple hundred for words to picking up new words fast. He seems to talk more at home than anywhere else though.

Things with DP are ticking along ok, I'm trying to be rational and when we have one bad day remembering it is only one day and the rest of the week is ok. He is doing so well at work he's had a couple of promotions and big pay rises in the last 2 years, last week he picked up a national award and has now been head hunted and offered another pay rise of more than my whole salary. I should be pleased but it's just adding to his feeling that his contribution to the family is financial and mine is to do everything else I'd rather have less money and feel as though we share the responsibility.

hmm stupid tablet. couple hundred for words should have been a couple of words.

bjr good to hear from you. The refrain I hear more than anything from my H when I complain about his lack of help is "well I do have to work". For him it seems to negate any other duty apart from about an hour a day with the kids when he mostly just plays with them (ie doesn't feed them, bath them etc) If he lived on his own he would have to do more - as he seems to think there is a washing, shopping, cleaning fairy in our house. It is pathetic I know but I just cant be bothered arguing about it anymore. He genuinely cannot see that a little more help/offer to help would go such a long way in making me feel more valued that our relationship would improve a lot - but apparently I just moan about it and am unreasonable. I know if I posted about him on AIBU I would be told to LTB!

BJR sorry if im over stepping here but could you pay for a cleaner/ out source the domestic aspect? This is what i do with my dh if he is unwilling to clean/cook/help i get him to pay someone else to do it - window cleaner, gardener, cleaner and take out :)

Im a control freak so im happy to make all desicusions regarding the children but dh has no input so can not critaise my choices/he gets no say.

Then i make sure that he knows what i expect of him such as be home for family dinner together, saturday family night, turn up at events like plays, competions and parents evening.

Its really hard for the first three years with a child and it does affect your relationship. Any cracks in your relationship just get highlighted so much when you introduce a child into the mix. Its hard to juggle every thing. For me the hardest part is i get touched so much in the day by the kids, bf hugs and play fighting, that my dh gets home im all touched out and i dont want him to hug, kiss me or have physical contact as im sooo touched out i just want to be on my own.

DH wont pay for anything that he/I can do ourselves. He was brought up with very careful parents and we dont have a lot of spare cash. I am struggling to get the lawn cut as F only sleeps for a max of an hour a day so I was looking into seeing if I could get someone to do it - but DH vetoed it. I might just do it anyway - like I did with the window cleaner. I make most of the family decisions too, partly as I am a control freak too air! but partly as DH shows not a lot of interest but he still thinks he can criticise. He has not been to one of DS parents evenings and wouldnt think it important. He has very little idea what F and DS do in terms of clubs/activities/friends etc. He is very self centred. I agree a child shows up the cracks in a relationship and a second child even more.