November 2012 - Guess what we were doing this time last year

[StuntNun]

Previous thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/postnatal_clubs/1680077-November-2012-More-group-hugs-and-moral-support-please

Hey vq hope J is settling down now.

I might be biased, but I think Yorkshire is the perfect location for a summer camp

Disposables, I rate the asda ones. He is still in size 2 and it is rare we have a leak. Had the first one in ages last night, small bit of poo escapage.

VQ I read the same as contra!

I've forgotten what everyone said now, in my sleepy fogged up brain.

Errrrrm. Kids on eBay. I think I'd have to pay someone to take DS1. Stroppy tweenager alert! He moaned ALL day he was bored. Nothing I suggested was good enough. Drove me mad. At least he sleeps. So I shouldn't moan!

I'm dreading in a couple of hours. O fell asleep at 7.30 for a nap. Nowt unusual there. Apart from the fact he slept til 9,30, so I figured he would go to bed around 1030. 9-9.30 is his usual time. No, he screamed for a feed with in 5 minutes, and fell straight back asleep after it. Now considering 11 hours is roughly his sleep time. I can't help thinking we're DP is fucked come 6am.

This feed is taking forever.... C'mon baby!

Re:weight. No idea on advice pass but I'm another one who believes a babys birthweight has little to do with what centile they will eventually end up at. Weight fluctuates all the time with babies among the centiles for many reasons. 14 odd lb does not sound unreasonable in any way shape or form at 14 weeks.

Daisy totally mental mind slap worthy. Hopefully it was just one of those stupid things people say without thinking, and not meaning to be so damn insensitive.

SCBU was one of my major worries. I desperately didn't want my baby to need to go for any reason. It would have been the hardest thing to go through. There is no way anyone sane would actively want or even not mind their baby going there 'so they can get a rest'.

The only thing I can think of is that perhaps they don't realise how poorly some babies are and how much extra care the need. Nor does she understand what it is like for a mum and baby to be separated. Maybe she just sees it like the old hospital nurseries where babies used to go years ago and be cared for by staff.

Dumb comment indeed!

daisy What a thing to say!

I guess I must be lucky with HVs. DD1 started on the 25th centile and dropped to the 9th, N started on the 50th and dropped to the 25th. HV said doesn't she look good, nice and healthy, well done :)

Tonight started ok - she slept for a whole 4 hours in a row! But after going back down once fed, she's just done 35 minutes. Rubbish. I tried The Pause, but I can't let her make too much noise in case she wakes DD1. Might have worked as well, as she was grizzling rather than crying, but I think it might have been building up. She's not feeding, just chewing, so she doesn't need to be awake - how to teach her that without leaving her to cry and without waking whole house?

daisy hopefully it was a thoughtless comment but it does seem a v bizarre thing to say!! Perhaps she would think my friends having their baby in SCBU for months after being born at 24wks would have been lovely because no night feeds??!!

pass DS is ebf. He was born at 6lb 15oz at 38+6. He is now 14+1wks & weighed 13lb 5.5oz at 11+2wo. He feeds on demand, sometimes every 2.5hrs, sometimes 7.5hrs overnight (like now!! Woo hoo!! ) and not one person has commented about it except my DMIL but that's a different story. He hasn't been weighed since 11wks (I just don't bother to go seeing as he is fine) so would assume he weighs at least 14lbs now. He has gone from about 9-25th centile to just above 50th iirc. I refuse to starve my baby just because he isn't doing what some "expert" says if anyone had said anything. The truly frustrating thing about it is actually that nobody is commenting in a way. My DD didn't drop in weight, until she started being quite sick (which was ignored) & the HV advised to "make her wait" for feeds, again ebf & again a whole other story & even then only went from roughly 25th centile (6lb 5oz) at birth to just above 2nd iirc, so barely 2 centiles & they started freaking out!! She tracked the 9th centile for a while then gradually started heading up until she followed the 50th, where she is now. She weighed the same at about 27/28wo as DS did at 11. Babies don't follow the rules laid down by HV... If your friend is happy with the weight gain & has no other issues/need of support, she should just stop getting him weighed!!!

bry chick & VQ hope you all got/get more sleep!!

comrade I think? Reducing bra back size? Couldn't you just get a 30 back? And that sounds expensive & huge of bust I thought mine were massive this time at 34F!!

kirrin dummy? Pick up & put down? No useful advice, sorry.

I would love her to take a dummy, I've tried and tried but I put it in and it comes out again like a champagne cork, usually accompanied by a disgusted expression! It's very frustrating cos I think it would solve everything. Pick up put down could work - I shall have to try that and stop letting her just latch on every time she wakes

And again. Ever felt the urge to head butt a wall?!

Sorry to hear kirrin is LO in a growth spurt?

Well, after taking two hours to settle, J next woke at 7.10. So just the one mega waking. I said to DH clearly it worked him burping him so if we do that every night feed... Cue tumbleweed.

Pass - ebf no one would comment

A hv said to me I was to make sure e wasn't over fed as he was being ff. I've been boarderline ed. prob not the best thing to say but I did ignore it.

A lady I know her ds is nearly 18lb at 13 wo. Ebf!!!

Weaning thankfully dm didn't wean us until we were 5/6 months or so. She said despite pressure, we weren't ready and she knew that.

Have just caught up. Yay!!
The scbu talk has made me a little bit emotional. The 16 days that H was in the scbu were probably the longest 16 days of my life. It's an emotional rollercoaster and I was expressing every three hours so didnt have a full nights sleep. I was in a bit of denial and a bit in shock that LO came 6 weeks early. It was horrible. And the house wasn't ready so the time we were home we were frantically trying to sort things. There's a program on Home and Health on Mondays about a nicu and I taped it but couldn't watch it. Was a bit too much for me.
Wrt weaning, ds1 was weaned at 16 weeks. That was the guideline 14 yrs ago. I'm in no hurry to wean ds2. I like the ease of bf.
We had a bad night after the leaking nappy. H wouldn't settle for ages after each of his feeds. I need sleep.
VQ it sounds like you had a bit of a day yesterday with the LO's, one of those days you just want to get back into bed and start over.

Oh and we have a vtech sing and soothe mobile. It has three different buttons for supposedly three different types of noise but it isn't really, they all sound the same. I wouldn't recommend it, I think you can get better ones but LO loves it and loves one of the characters that are hanging from it. It makes him laugh and he talks to it. It doesn't do what it says on the tin.

Morning all.

I thinkinsensitive comments are par for the course for people who haven't been through what we have, and that in any aspect of life. I am sure some of the comments I make about vaginal birth are insensitive, and am forever having people joke about being too posh to push etc. I don't think people mean to be insiensitive, more that they need to fill a silence or don't want to let on that they don't know what they are talking about so say something that makes sense to them at the time. I doubt many people reaslly know what it is like to have babies in NICU and possibly donMt imagine how stressful it could be. I know I wouldn't think about expressing every three hours for example.

My MIL said to me five days after my ELCS when I winced sitting down on the sofa that she didn't understand why it was still hurting, that a ELCS was just a minor op... I showed her the wound. She shut up.

DD1, although tired, seems to have the worst of the flu behind her, so has gone back to creche today.

Weaning. LO was 17 weeks on Friday, and I intend to start her on veg and fruit purees this weekend. Seeing paed the week after next so need to have a go before then.

I've been doing housework for the last few hours. Does anyone ever feel that doing the day to day stuff - floors, laundry, kitchen, loo, mean that they don't have enough time left to do the big stuff. I have been meaning to clean my windows for weeks, and dust, and declutter, but never get round to it.

Also to do this week: book tickets for our trip to Lancashire in June. Woooo. Have found a hotel in Kent to stop at overnight. Will be along drive, but we'e going to stay there for 10 days once there, which will be enough time to get over it.

i'm going to book a ride where I used to ride as a teen. I'm not supposed to ride because of my back, but I need to, so tough.

morning!!
dd actually started sleeping last night at 9 earliest start ever! first evening me and dh have been able to watch tv together without interruption - a whole 30 minute (23) show - times 2! Was funny when we clocked we were at opposite sides of the sofa facing away from each other!
I sneaked dd upstairs and dream fed her 10.30-11 and she slept until two- back down after feed and slept for another 5 hours ... just fed her now and should probably start our day now but she is sleeping on me... I am considering a transfer but then if she sleeps longer maybe she won't go down at 9 again!
I am shattered though much less sleep than usual!
thanks vq re nappies no rush to msg but would love your input! having funky designs and colours is definitely a draw - would love zebra print always loved it (think because of my name).

Ds1 was in nicu for 10 days with group b strep and for each of those 10 days I did each and every feed and nappy change even when the charge nurse ordered me off the ward as my ankles had ballooned and I was retaining water it could never be classed as a break!!

VQ - yay for 4+ hours sleep, booooo for long wakeful period!!! Hope today is a good day in the vq household x

I'm sorry I don't buy all this follow percentile a crap - as long as baby is gaining weight, is alert, wees n poos and is healthy then you cannot have an over fed baby.

I am morbidly obese - but I doubt it has fuck all to do with how my mother fed me or how often more likely cos she fucked off when I was 3 and I was then moved around from pillar to post so food was my comfort/control the fact my 2 dc are very different ds being athletic and slender, dd1 being v tall and solid but both love fruit veg and chocolate - I've taught them which foods they can eat til the cows come home and which they can only have a little of though I think ds will be able to eat pizza all day everyday and other than spots will stay as slim as always - not fair!!

I refuse to weigh dots unless I think she's due to change clothes size or nappy size, she's healthy and gorgeous and quite petite at this stage - I'm sure she'll change!!! So if your bubba is happy, feeding, gaining weight - who cares if they're on the gorgeous chunky side or on the petite doll side!!! Sorry rant over - obviously if percentiles need to be studied and baby tracked closely like Eliza's LO then ignore my waffly rant. X

Petite I agree about the big jobs. I planned to do so much whilst on maternity, but if it continues how it's started that's not going to happen. My main ones are cutting the back garden back, it's a bit of a jungle and sorting out the front. Reading a few books, I have Cloud Atlas and Vernon God Little I've been meaning to read for ages. And most importantly sorting out photos. I have pictures of ds1 that are in boxes that I need to put into albums and lots of digital ones that need printing. Oh and the loft. Need to sort chuck loads of things from up there. I want to grow things again. Really enjoyed my garden a couple of years ago and planted loads. Want to do that again.

Photos. Oh God. Yes, I meant to sort, print, put in albums....

Mean to.. Not meant.

daisy how thoughtless. WHen LO was born, she was 20g above the cut off weight for going to scbu, I have never been so relieved in all my life. It would have been awful. The 3 days back in, on the kids ward, was bad enough. And there was not one single thing about it that was restful.

Little pig shot from the 9th to the 75th centile in the first month, nobody seemed to bat an eyelid and she's now settled nicely on the 50th. I however, as a baby, went beyond the 75th to the 98th. People used to say to my mum, "isn't she bonny?" But then mum did start me on baby rice at 6 weeks Still, once I hit 18 months and got mobile my fat ass shifting I turned into a right skinny bean.

LO slept 8 hours again last night. I love her But has woken smiley and full of snot - lovely!

pr glad to hear dd is on the mend.
evil sorry you've still no improvement with N.

Lovely sunny day here but dh has forgotten to take the pram out of the car. We'll have to see whether LO will entertain the sling...

I agree re photos I have been collating and putting them in albums since I was 9 (photography was another hobby still love taking photos but its still very expensive as a hobby). but its really annoying my brain that I haven't made an album since 2009 all photos on digital media and backed up but its something I sort of loose sleep over.
I managed to do a scrap book of our honeymoon in '09 when mat leave started but quite stressful. wish I could afford lots of photobooks ...and just click auto fil.
Cannot wait to get in the garden (another hobby gardeners world mag subscriber and everything). can't afford lots of lavish New plants... but hope to keep on top of garden and create lots of new plants from seed!

Morning everyone! Didn't get a chance to post yesterday, I was too busy eating the best carvery ever!

PR, thank you for the kind offer re the NUK dummies but we don't need them anymore, dd1 is five. Dd2 uses Avent luckily! I am having trouble finding large nuk bottles with size 2 latex teats though, they ably seem to do silicone here and B won't take silicone, weird.

I've just checked dd1's red book pass, she was 14lbs at 14 weeks. By 20 weeks she was on the 98th centile and Ebf, HV was never bothered. She's normal sized now.

I'm up for a Yorkshire camp VQ!

I ike Mozzer's own nappies, no leaks here, still in size 2. Huggies leaked like mad last week so went back to Mozzer's.

What a silly, ill thought out comment daisy. She's probably cringing over it now with any luck.

Think we're starting the 12 week growth spurt here.

Big jobs? Blimey - I hi-5ed myself for cleaning the bathroom the other day.

Thank you all for your thoughts on my sister's baby. Like I mentioned I have no idea how much comes from the medical people and how much is her own anxiety about weight. I am going to advise her to stop getting him weighed. I don't think she knows she doesn't need to. I am worried that she thinks that weaning early will make everything ok - I am not sure she realises that it is likely to be much more work initially.

The thing is I have 2 siblings and as babies we were all completely different in weight and have gone on to be different - you would never guess we were siblings. I was a totty baby who showed little interest in food really. My brother was a poor baby who screamed and cried all the time. Mum and dad now believe he had CMPI and reflux. He didn't sleep more than 2 hours until 2 years old. My sister was a big baby who couldn't eat enough. She would inhale bottles then throw them up. My mum took to feeding her in the bathroom.

My point is that we all had the same parenst and were fed in the same way. I feel she would be better relaxing at the moment and simply ensuring that she encourages a healthy attitude to food once he is weaned.

My frustration for her is the apparent lack of advice. Although I am not entirely sure her expectations are reasonable - I told her that P sometimes wants fed less than two hours after her last feed. Yesterday it was 1.5 hours. That's fine with me.

Right - enough.

daisy your friend is very thoughtless saying that.

Walking from the post natal ward down to the NICU many times a day with the pain from the section, the bleeping machines, tiny very sick babies, pipes and machines everywhere and your tiny babies looking so fragile is most certainly not a restful period. Trying to bond with you new baby on a chair in front on laods of people is not restful. And trying not to cry every time you see them is certainly not restful. The hardest thing I found was carrying this massive bump then suddenly it disappearing and having no babies to hold. It caused havoc with my emotions, my body was very confused and didn't know what was happening!

Triplets in NICU but doing well.
Baby A - Anna - 2lb8
baby B - Christopher - 3lb7
baby C - George - 3lb5

All on feeding tubes and Christopher on CPAP. It brought back so many memories last night and made me feel very emotional!

I wouldn't worry Pennie my girls are 13lbs at 20 weeks! They don't look that small though. I think they will be tall like their 6'4 father.