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Post-natal clubs

Join our Postnatal Clubs forum to find parenting advice for newborns.

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Original poster

Sept '08 - The one where they go out into the big bad world (well school!)

552 replies

ninja · 29/01/2013 12:54

Hi, couldn't find a new thread and there was only one message to link to one.

Hope I haven't stepped on anyones toes creating this!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Meglet · 28/08/2013 21:12

It's so hard to find the words to explain death and loss to children. I've blagged most parts of parenting but it leaves me floundering for words .

carrie Jones sell start rite too. Their shoes come up bigger than clarks, I was a bit sceptical when the assistant brought out a size down for DD but it fits her and the half size up was like a clown shoe - despite being half a size smaller than her clarks size. She ended up with a cute traditional style 'T-bar' shoe. If we end up having a grim winter I might move her to a closed in boy trainer style school shoe, they won't look too obvious with trousers.

I need to grill mrsA on shoes, she has a thing for nice kids shoes doesn't she.

Badvoc · 28/08/2013 21:16

Yes, it is.
I am struggling to understand it myself.
How on earth can the dc understand it?

CappuccinoCarrie · 28/08/2013 22:04

Now we do have a Jones here, I'll try there next time for DD! I'm really pleased with the school shoes I got DS1 - they're the trainer style ones with dinosaurs on them, perfect for school and the park.
badvoc as with all aspects of parenting, there's no 'right' way to approach the issues of death and grief with DCs, but the love and security you give them will see all of you through this terrible time.

Meglet · 28/08/2013 22:28

I've just checked and I think DD's start rites are called 'Beta'. They come up higher than mary janes, best of a bad lot really .

Funnily enough 'Bonsoir' has just started a ranty thread about school shoes (ranty for her anyway!), think it's in education.

Badvoc · 28/08/2013 22:36

Carrie...I hope so.
Toby was upset the other day. He said "oh mummy, heaven is so far away!" Ds1 is trying to be positive and thankful that we had pop for as long as we did. And that he didn't suffer.
And he is right.
Just hard to feel thankful ATM.

teabagpleb · 29/08/2013 22:13

Any ideas on getting stubborn 4yos to wear uniform appreciated... A finally tried on a pair of black shoes in the Clarks outlet shop after I told him we were staying there all afternoon until he did, and if that meant missing his playdate in the park, so be it. Thankfully they had one style but in every size, which meant simply getting the best fit. At least boy styles are practical - why toddler shoes in girl colours have to be so much more flimsy I don't know. dd is in green sandals which should be perfectly unisex, but no, they are BOY according to the Clarks website, which won't even show you kids' shoes unless you choose boy or girl first

He isn't ever going to wear them and is going to put them in the bin, apparently. Admittedly I hear this about most of his new clothes until they've been on for half an hour, when they become his favourites and he refuses to take them off...

School have told me and 2 other parents completely different things about what the uniform is in any case (all given a badly photocopied leaflet with biro corrections saying different things). The other parents are also teachers and tell me crap admin is to be expected and chill out.

Best wishes to your children dealing with grief. A has been asking questions about death and losing parents so presumably trying to understand in advance how it works... but there's no explanation, is there?

Badvoc · 30/08/2013 13:03

No there isn't teabag.
I am struggling myself so can't imagine what the dc are feeling.
Wrt shies am lucky I guess in that Toby is a total shoe fetishist. He is obsessed by them. He would happily go show shopping every day.
I bet he loves them after a few wears...:)

Meglet · 30/08/2013 14:34

teabag no great ideas here. DD did wear her uniform briefly, but there were a few grimaces and wriggles about it feeling odd. No tantrums though so we may be ok. I'm going to tape some peppa pigs for next week so she can watch them in front of the tv while she gets ready, should distract her from any uniform grumbles .

I'm currently optimistic about school. She has been wanting to do school work at nursery so the staff and me have been giving her 'work' to do. They said she sat down for an hour last week to practice writing, a shock to all of us!

ILikeToMoveItMoveIt · 30/08/2013 14:53

teabag - ds had a wobbly about uniform, but it was at the same time that he had a wobble about starting school. So, the uniform issue may have been a manifestation of worrys about starting school. I also got some name tags with dinosaurs on and told ds that he would have secret dinosaur tags in all his clothes and that no one else would know that they we're there. That seemed to help, he liked the fact that we had that little secret.

We've always been honest about death with the boys badvoc. We keep it simple, but truthful. No talk of heaven or them looking down on us etc. most of the time I can be quite matter of fact about it, but if I'm having a bad day and ds2 asks about ds1 it can be really difficult. As I imagine every day is a bad day for you at the moment it must be very hard for you, but it's ok for you to be upset and not always have the answers {{hugs}}

I hope you've got your hankies for later meglet {{hugs}}

Meglet · 31/08/2013 11:19

We survived nursery pick up . DD was fine, me and the staff were all trying to hide the fact we were crying. At one point there was a strange mother walking into town snotty faced and crying .

Anyway, it's all done now. A new phase starts next week, and the weather looks nice which always helps.

CappuccinoCarrie · 31/08/2013 20:10

for meglet!

Meglet · 01/09/2013 09:31

Thank you carrie. It'll have to be Coke in there though, I seem to have zero tolerance for alcohol these days .

What's everyone getting their DC's for their 5th birthdays. I was a bit stuck as we have no storage space these days and DD can already play with DS's toys. So she's got a mini basketball hoop for the garden, a new lego friends kit, naice wooden tiddlywinks set from John Lewis and a book. We tried on lelli kellys but couldn't get any that fitted so they're on hold until next year.

Badvoc · 01/09/2013 16:14

Toby is having a family tea party at his request.
Wrt gifts...he is getting the new octonauts gups and octolab from my family. I think he may be getting a mini iPad too if I sell that kidney
We have Toby's bday, then my dnephews, then mine all in a nice row!
I shall hopefully spend my bday drunk and in bed.

Meglet · 02/09/2013 09:47

badvoc I wish they'd had more Octonaut toys when DS was younger, he wanted some as soon as it started 3 (?) years ago but I think they were caught on the hop and hardly anything was available. It's a new series today at 4:45pm, have just set the box to record it.

I hope you have a calm birthday and do get to loll about in bed for a while .

I'm going to be busy today, the dc's are out with Grandma and Grandad. I'm on a house tidy up mission, partly because it's well over due and partly because it's DD's teachers home visit this week.

ILikeToMoveItMoveIt · 02/09/2013 19:37

We've got ds a few Lego bits, there really isn't much he wants or needs. My parents are paying for a Lego building station ie a child size table and chair with some Lego base plates stuck to the top and some storage boxes for the pieces.

My house is a SHIT HOLE. I remember it being like this after the long holidays last year, so I was a bit more prepared for it. When ds3 has his first pre school session this week the house will be getting scrubbed!

Debs75 · 02/09/2013 21:07

Not sure what we are getting Robyn beside a bike some books and......that's it really.

We did shoe shopping today. Clarks were useless and didn't have anything other than glorified ballet shoes. We ended up at Brantano where we got some slightly better and significantly cheaper ballet shoes. Then off to Matalan for some willies and some sandshoes. We are sorted now, off to do her packed lunch for tomorrow and then early morning wake up to get them all off to school in time

Badvoc · 02/09/2013 21:20

I live in a shithole too ATM.
Haven't done a thing since dad died.
Really must crack on.

Badvoc · 02/09/2013 21:20

Debs...some willies!? :)

Debs75 · 02/09/2013 21:31

WELLIES not willies

Original poster

ninja · 02/09/2013 21:39

Hi - haven't really been on MN recently - but have had the odd lurk. I'm sorry to hear about some of your sad news

M starts school on Wednesday - 6 days of half days which exH is complaining about, but I have to admit I'm looking forward to some time with her by herself.

The TB is still being a twat even if slightly less often :( I think I'm coping better than last year though.

We had a great summer - PGL for DD1 and me, Northumberland and trips to family and lots of rabbit cuddling (we seem to have acquired 3!)

Hope the school first days go well

OP posts:

teabagpleb · 02/09/2013 22:59

A is also getting octonauts Gups for his birthday, and my parents will get him a balance bike. I've told him he has to try his uniform on if he wants to go to Chessington next week.

Only 2 more days of nursery - sniff!

Meglet · 03/09/2013 07:42

Awww, 3 rabbits ninja . Your FB photos were great.

I've tidied up DD's room, ie; I bought more underbed storage and dumped all the crap in there . At least it's off the floor, I'll sort it out another day.

Not sure where to start with DS's room. He knows when I've tidied binned his random piles of sticks / ancient comics / toilet rolls so I need to be sneaky.

Badvoc · 03/09/2013 08:01

Hey ninja x

CappuccinoCarrie · 03/09/2013 13:21

DS1 is in school
He went in fine, knew the routine from going every day with DD! What I wasn't prepared for was DD then going super quiet and not being at all sure about going into year 2. It took her ages to find her place, and most of the other children were already involved in their first activity since they hadn't had to waste 10mins in reception first! I've bought all the children magazines as an after school treat today, so proud of them all
Oh crumbs tidying the kids bedroom...seriously where do you start with that much lego, sylvanian bits n bobs, playmobil etc?!
We've bought DS1 the lego space shuttle on ebay and my mum's got him a spiderman duvet cover. Only 3 weeks til his birthday.

Badvoc · 03/09/2013 15:46

Toby is pretty tired today. Says he has a headache, bless him.
Early night tonight I think!

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