Sept '08 - The one where they go out into the big bad world (well school!)

[ninja]

Hi, couldn't find a new thread and there was only one message to link to one.

Hope I haven't stepped on anyones toes creating this!

badvoc its totally understandable, TV is your friend and co-parent! Things will get better, the lack of term-time routine won't be helping, so be kind to yourself.
Grief is a long journey, and at times it will hit you more than others. I still think of telling my Gran something, and she died 10 years ago, we go on missing people even when the initial shock has long since subsided.
I hope tomorrow goes as well as these things can, that you are able to say goodbye and feel that you gave him a fitting farewell. He will never, ever, be out of your lives

Thank you carrie x
It is a simple truth.
Grief is the price we pay for love.

Well it's all happening here - back of our house is due to be knocked down tomorrow! All our kitchen is now in the dining room, and A is looking forward to swinging a hammer and smashng up the remaining kitchen units (they keep falling apart anyway, so should be quite easy...)
Just hope dd gets used to me sleeping in 'her' ie my room again, as last night was hideous, wanting me every few minutes just as I'd dozed off again. And I can't co-sleep because she's a violent little sod. You'd think the novelty of punching me in the face would have worn off by now. :(

badvoc how did today go? I was thinking of you lots.

teabag it is worth all the hassle of renovations, I promise! At least I can say that three years the other side of going through it ;)

Today we built the bunk beds, never have the big kids been so excited to go to bed! Sadly DS2 is still awake a full 2 hours after his bedtime. Apparently he was talking about diggers...and when I went up to check on him he was sitting up with his sleeping bag undone. Here's hoping the novelty wears off in the next two weeks before they go back to school

Hi carrie.
It was so good to have dad "home" at last iyswm?
Very emotional. Very sad. Very strange day.
Bunk beds? How exciting!
Remind me...my brain has turned to mush...when is your due date? X

badvoc After dad died it took me months to start to snap out of the habit of thinking "oh, I'd better ring dad to check that....." or waiting for him to text me some warped humour topical joke when something was in the news .

teabag how did A get on bashing the kitchen units?

Oh meg :( I know just his you feel. I just miss him so much. I feel empty and hollow and nothing will ever be the same again.
I saw someone who was at the funeral yesterday and we were chatting about dad and what a wonderful person he was and we were talking
About my siblings she said "you know you are the most like him don't you?" And it just made me feel so bereft.
Dad and I shared such a silly sense of humour. We even look alike. We shared a love of books. And doughnuts. He was such a kind and gentle man.
I wish I was half the person he was.

Tea bag....I recommend a lump hammer for bashing kitchen cupboards.
I found it very therapeutic! :)

Due date one month today...! If I remember to take a bump photo any time soon then I'll post it to my profile! Still doing my own head in wondering if its a boy or girl. I feel more like I did with DD, but carrying more like DS2. And my latest symptom is hot flushes, mmmm attractive!

Just had a friend round for the morning with her 4, 3, and 1 year old, plus 11 week old baby...she made it look easy and said 4th labour followed the pattern of the others and was fine, really hope the same is true of mine!

Having taken 2 hours to fall asleep last night, DS2 didn't wake up too early, but he's still too young to understand that if the sun isn't up on the gro-clock then its still night-time. I could hear him trying to attract DD and DS1's attention but they were being very good at ignoring him. DD keeps thinking of things that she 'needs' to do on her top bunk, so glad she's enjoying it! Suppose I'd better start putting baby things in the now vacated box room

badvoc look after yourself and let the tears flow, keep telling us about your wonderful dad if that helps, he sounds really special. And you meg, and MrsA and all those who've lost loved ones recently.

teabag how is operation destruction going?

The heatwave has returned with a vengeance today = muchos washing on the line! Randomly felt the need to wash everyone's winter coats. Nesting much?!

Ah. Yes. Nesting. With ds1 I defrosted the fridge freezer 3 days before I went into labour. At 2am. Dh thought I was demented.
I have done 2 loads of washing today too. Something very satisfying about seeing lots if washing flapping in the breeze, isn't there?
I think dads death is affecting the dc more than I thought. Toby is uber clingy ATM And ds1 quite tearful.
We are still getting cards from people. Some are so lovely and they write such kind things.
What a kind and gentle man he was.

Destruction has gone efficiently so far - we got A to pull a drawer off before being dragged to nursery in the rain. Builders turned up promptly this morning, have filled a skip, put up initial partition, and there is huge pile of stuff in the garden for tomorrow's skip.

Only 8 weeks to go... now we need to get A's new room finished as fast as possible, but that means filling holes, lots of plastering, plus coving and many coats of paint. Having a night off with a takeaway, but then need to get that done. Dd was a bit better last night at least.

I keep missing this thread.

Carrie I had BH with dd1 and ds quite early, dd1 was late and ds qas 1 day early

Badvoc have a huge hug from all of us. It is hard to 'get over' the death of someone so close and I don't think you ever really do. If you need to cry then cry. You may find that you have a 'nesting' type instinct and just feel you have to do a certain chore. Go with it, it may seem daft or irrelevant but it will help you.

Are we all getting excited about school next week? I have all the uniform ready with names sewn in. I have worked out a rough morning routine and just need to buy school shoes, that will be most of this months money gone.
Are we all going to post pics of the dc's in their uniform? Robyn wants to put hers on everyday

A screamed at the sight of his school trousers. I suspect other kids are bigging up school to be scary as he's fine about it after playing with dn, but then after nursery says he never wants to go to school, ever!

I think I'll try getting him to wear uniform after seeing other kids in it (he starts a week after the start of term) - his polo shirts haven't turned up yet. Shoe shopping is planned for Wednesday or failing that after schools start back...

Missing my garden now the weather is nice again. Especially for laundry. I've been putting an airer with nappies in the front yard but don't want to risk clothes getting nicked!

We need to do a uniform dressing session.

How one gets a stubborn 4yo with some sensory issues to leave her leggings and crocs for school uniform I have no idea. I've basically bought loads of things in the hope she finds something comfy and doesn't kick off. Winter should be ok as the trousers look comfy but I'm not sure if she is going to be ok with shorts, skirts (unlikely) or cullottes for the autumn.

Thank you debs x
Toby is quite excited about his new uniform. His behaviour has really deteriorated since dad died and I don't really know what to do about it :(

I like the idea of posting photos of our DCs in their new uniforms :)
meglet we found some really soft trousers (jersey fabric but cut with bootleg) in Asda, would your DD wear those? Lots of kids wear their winter uniform throughout the summer term, so I'm sure it won't matter if she's not in summer uniform, she just might be a bit warm!
Everything is labelled here except DD's new winter coat that we bought on Saturday.
badvoc I know you'll be doing an amazing job of giving Toby lots and lots of love and cuddles, he will turn a corner, and I expect school will help. Not long to go
Our car is still broken. Having been 'fixed' last week, dad tried to take it out to fill up with diesel on Sunday and it wouldn't start again :( So today its gone back to the garage. I'm actually glad the car is stuck down south, dad has made it his mission to get to the bottom of the problems, and he won't drive it the 250miles north for us until he's confident its fixed, so I think its in better hands than it would be up here! Just hope we have it back before I go into labour
debs that's good to hear that BH don't have to mean early baby!

Sorry to hear about the car carrie.
Are we posting uniform pics!? :)

I just saw this thread pop up in active convos, so had to come and say hello

I'm so sorry about your dad Badvoc, I should imagine you feel like a rug has been pulled out from underneath you. We see our parents as a constant in our lives, so not having them there must be very difficult {{hugs}}

I'll post a pic of ds in his uniform ........ once I wipe away the tears #pathetic.

Thank you ILTMIMI
It's been such a dreadful time.

I will definitely post a pic of Robyn in her uniform. She would go put it on now if I let her.

Badvoc he has gone through a hard time. I think give him lots of praise for the good stuff and lots of cuddles and love. Ignore his bad behaviour if you can, he doesn't want to be naughty. Could you talk with him about your dad and remember the good times?

Carrie no car and baby due soon what a nightmare. Are you far from the hospital or are you having a homebirth?

carrie I've not bought the jersey trousers (yet). She's got the normal ones so far. I could buy a pair and take them back if they aren't needed actually.

Now, as for girls school shoes . I bought DD a pair last week, clarks had to take her down 2 widths to get them to stay on as they kept slipping off her skinny ankles . So today we went out and got a pair of start rite from another shop. So I've got a small fortunes worth of shoes to decide between. I may have also sent Clarks a stern e-mail about the crapness of their girls school shoes

I won't put a photo on MN but I'll pop a photo of mine on FB.

badvoc I'd let things slide for the time being. Are you going to speak to the school next week, they should be able to support Toby (and you!).

DD finishes nursery this Friday. After 5.6 yrs there will be no more nursery runs. I'm going to be a state, they've looked after all of us over the last few years .

DS2 is TWO!!! We've had a great day celebrating - swimming, playing with new digger toys, and tea out at Bella Italia - their kids menu is great. So thankful for the Tesco voucher scheme, without which there would be very few treats in this household! Can't believe how grown up he is now, such a cutie

meglet my clarks issue is those silly shoes with the crap toys in them, which make DD pretend that all the other shoes don't fit, but I won't buy them for her because the shoes have far too much of a heel for a 6 year old, to make room for the crap toy to fit in! Grr. Don't know if we've got a local startrite outlet...might have to get googling.

badvoc how has today been? And how is your mum doing now, health wise and emotionally? Lots of and , , and still coming your way.

ILTMIMI keep those tears flowing, stops the rest of us feeling so pathetic

Ah, hope your ds had had a lovely day carrie...certainly sounds like it!
Mum is not doing too well :( had to take her to the gp earlier...she is having palpitations etc. not surprising really but she has a history of panic attacks and health anxiety. Got to take her back to the gp tomorrow morning for an ECG.
Haven't really thought much about tomorrow - until now that is!!
Think everything is sorted. Hope so. Too late now!

Carrie..lupus Lewis sell start rite shoes if you have one locally (and online)

Meg...I e mailed the both schools after dad died. It means ds1 won't have to explain to his teacher(s).
Had a few tears from ds1 tonight about his pop.
Never know what to say.
If I had any words of comfort I would tell myself.