November 2012 - Vent, chat or brag

[StuntNun]

Previous thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/postnatal_clubs/1668060-November-2012-Dont-forget-the-tummy-time

Stats list: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/1485512-November-2012-Stats-List

Madam, can't wait to see you. We need to agree a time for Wednesday.

Thanks everyone for your support, it's great to know I'm doing all the right things and its not just me. (I know that sounds weird)
I'm off to find a osteopath tomorrow, and get different milk.

Evil

Eeeek, Chunky. Hand holding proffered from me... Vent away. We'll all slag the bastard off. Then we'll forgive him when you do. That's how we roll eh?!

PR Just start an AIBU thread: AIBU to think a lot of men turn into uber twunts after a new baby arrives...?

I have to say re: Nurseries I used 2 different ones with DS. The first one I pulled him out after witnessing him being pushed over with malice by a nursery nurse. I'm not sure how I kept my cool, but I did. I never felt happy with him at that nursery, and that confirmed my suspicions. Should have removed him long before then when I just had worries. I used childminders after that, but then when he was ready for preschool, we used a different private nursery (I couldn't get a CM who could do wraparound from a school). I was always happy with that nursery. It was run by the parents of a boy I went to school with. They were a nice family. One of my best friends from high school worked there too. It was much better. He was older too, and was able to tell me if something wasn't right.

I think like anywhere, there are good and bad nurseries. My personal feelings are that I prefer a childminder, both in terms of cost, flexibility, and that often they are experienced mums. This feels right for me, but not to everyone. I like childminders who have their husband or older children as registered help. This seems like a nice family setting to me.

I have a WWYD, if anyone would like to offer an opinion!

My mum has offered her car to DP (not 100% definite, it depends on if she can get a new car, which is what she wants to do). For FREE!!!!

Both me and DP need new cars. Both are costing us a lot of money.

However... we were planning on getting DP a new car as soon as I am back in work. We have researched cars. We had come up with a list of a few suitable models. We had a few requirements - cheap tax, insurance, economical and a large boot. We were thinking of a (10 year old) Skoda Octavia, Peugeot 307, or similar. We found a few models which suited exactly what we needed. Tax band D, and MPG of over 40.

My mum has offered us her 5 door 2004 Fiesta. I had the exact same car as my first car. I sold mine 3 years ago. I know it is roomy enough, although I would have preferred something bigger.

But it is more expensive to insure.. cheaper to tax, they both cancel each other out to be honest. MPG is slightly better, but nowhere near as good as we had hoped for. We wouldn't be saving much by taking it.

We would be compromising on what we wanted. But it would be stupid to look a gift horse in the mouth so to speak. Logically, the answer should be yes, and throw myself at my mums feet for being so kind. But it isn't going to make the big financial difference that we were aiming for. :(

DP's answer is to take it, and then sell it in 6 months. But that would be INCREDIBLY rude. You don't take a car for free, then sell if for something else surely!

The reason mum is offering it to us, is so that we have a car that we know the history of, and we know has been well looked after, and not a duffer. It is also very low mileage - mum drives less than 4 miles a day, and never takes it further than a 20 mile journey.

So, WWYD! Take it and be grateful (very!!), or say thank you so much for offering it, but it is not going to save us any money in the long run?

I said to mum if we did it, she could take DP's car for part ex for her new car, but her husband said no, we should sell the car and keep the money for a deposit for my new car or repairs for either car.

(Why can't my dad be more like this? Mr Arsehole Moneybags who is currently sunning it up in Oz with his thoroughly refreshed mind following his £8000 business class seats on his flight...)

We've buggered up bedtime tonight. Oscar often naps after 8. Well, he's been asleep since 8.30. And he is downstairs with us.

Damn. I've got my first school run in the morning by myself. DP's work have kindly decided to just randomly swap his hours without bothering to check with him. So he is in at 7.15. Greeeeeeeeeeat.

I think we are in growth spurt season for sure. He's still doing 3oz bottles. He puked up everywhere at his teatime feed. He's been more awake this afternoon. We nipped to Asda this afternoon and he stayed awake the hour we were in there. Normally being out means he sleeps!

He was 12lb today. Remains between 25th-50th centiles.

I don't like baby clinic. It's shit. And weird. I'm going to get me some scales.

All this hassle timed for early 12wk spurt. 2hrly feeds ALL day!!! Never mind.

DH was upset about things putting it mildly but we're trying to come up with a compromise that will make our marriage work better. Tall order perhaps but gotta be worth a try.

Hear my little chick moaning for food, so night all.

Det long term cost the same.... Short term however u save money. And you have mentioned before that ATM you are a lil tight for money.
Compromise... Take it short term. When you are a little for better off sell it and give mum money. Personally I would tell mum this is what I would do tho. Plus. You can alway haggle down insurance, so can prob get a better deal then you have found ATM.

detective no brainer. Take the car and give it to me.

FH is home. Passed out on sofa. I wish I could hand cuff him to the sofa so he has to stay down here. Although I might get in alot of trouble for using his work handcuffs.

Think he has just said he will do the 6am feed. Yep that's what those drunk rambling are.

Isn't it strange how every ones DH DP has/ is being a twit? I kept saying to my DH that it will be hard and that I thought I would still feel alone although our marriage is strong because he won't be tied to the baby like I will(I am in deep love with my dd but you know what I mean).
I would cry about it in pregnancy would think its really not fair and he would reassure me this wouldn't be the case but it is think that's how it is with new babies.
We should be going on the threads of those just pregnant and warning them!

Chunky. I hope u don't mind me saying. But please make sure your not doing all the compromising x

Valium Castle is a much healthier place now. The King is still suffering, the Queen is long suffering but feeling a lot better, the little princesses will be home tomorrow as still not totally well, but no doubt will be well enough to be little sods for the Queen, and the Little Prince seems to be fighting his corner. He is currently dreaming of milk and bosoms. So is the King probably.

detective get to sleep as soon as you can as you have an early start.

I think a separate thread is better than going onto other post natal threads. I popped on a couple of pre threads to say about the whooping cough vaccine availability and was blanked.

Hope people have a good night x

Chunky lots of hugs and seconding what everyone has already set. Men just don't get it. Mine has surprised me big time with how involved he is with M; he is definitely a good 'un in that respect. BUT, he is incredibly selfish at the same time. This morning's announcement that he has a hard time at work so deserves to take just himself out for breakfast is so typically him. I know he would no doubt put his diving hobby before spending time with me as well. Maybe one day I will be able to go with him again... I really hope you can work things out lovely xx

Detective I would probably take the car to save money in the short term. You said you both need new cars: can one of you take it, get the octavia or 307 (I testdrove a 307 a couple of years ago and loved it btw!) as well and then sell both of your current cars? We are hoping to buy a new car in the next couple of months, subject to DP's work situ (see below rant) but I'm hoping my mum will give me her corsa when they downsize to 1 car next year as a run around. Unlikely but I can hope!

VQ they are very dog and child friendly. One of the few places I can take my hairy terrorist (B-dog, not DP!) to and guarantee he won't have us thrown out. I think the 'dog menu' is their way of appealing to the posh folks... Rest assured my dog has never sampled any of their canine delights!

Rant alert! Bastards at DP's work have gone back on their promise to backdate his paternity. His pay slip was also about £600 short this month, I can only assume that's for the 2.5 days he refused to take the boat out due to the weather, despite sitting in the office his whole shifts. They are messing him about really, asking him to do dangerous things and, in all honesty, taking the piss with how little they're paying him with all his quals. He earns a good salary but should really be getting double what they're paying him. He has been offered work elsewhere, but it would mean either moving over to NI, or him being awake 3 weeks at a time. (3 on, 2 off). Naturally he doesn;t want to be away from M for so long so that's sort of off limits. It's all a bit stressful. His job also isn't as secure as first thought as they are firing men left right and centre. He hates working there now but there's nothing else in this area other than the occasional freelance day - entirely undependable without me working full time to pick up the slack. And I really don't want to move.

sp away

MM I would be really chuffed if DHs pay packet actually was as much as £600. It is a shame they are not treating him well.

DS is awake after 1 hour. He is so snuffly but hopefully drops and a quick feed will see him right.

I have been using the same nursery for 5 years now, and am very happy. I will be happily sending DS there when the time comes. There are good and bad I am sure. Having relatives caring for your kids can work, but can sometimes be even more problematic.

I'm joining the middle of the night posting club.

M has been asleep since 10pm, great stuff! Except I have been laid wide awake for 2hrs45mins listening to DHs fucking snoring and grunting and tooth grinding and heavy breathing. I'm absolutely shattered, I have to be up early to be put of the house before 9 and I get naff all sleep. I've laid there tossing an turning for so long it's to me really angry and now I'm downstairs crying. I just know I'll get to sleep and M will wake up for a feed, she normally does 3-4hrs so that's any time now.
If I wake him though he just sulks because he "can't help snoring". Does my fucking head in.

Sorry for the rant and the swearing

Detective We're test driving a skoda Octavia tomorrow. If you both need new cars then can't you take the fiesta for one car then buy what you want for the other? And the insurance on a fiesta is higher?! I thought they were like group 4 (on the old scale)

Going to attempt to go back to bed. Can hear his snores from downstairs so going to kick him in the shin and tell him to STFU

I also have a snoring husband. And a sleeping baby for the moment. I snore too apparently, and get told this if I wake him. What I do instead is pretent to be asleep and roll over so I am right next to him. Preferably breathing on him but I find this hard as he is very hairy and it tickles. He hates this proximity so moves, which often stops the snoring for a while. Find his weakness and exploit it!

Damn I knew I forgot to add a bit in!!

The bigger blow is this - insurance will charge DP £135 for changing the car mid policy!!

This is because he has a tracker policy which is cheapest for him being a new, young, male driver.

Wouldn't be worth him sacking the policy off and getting new ins. As he only has 1 year NCB yet, and would lose 6 months worth.

I know Fatima, I can't believe a 1.25 fiesta is more expensive than his 1.4 fabia, but it is!! Fabia = uncool probably!

The plan was to get 2 new cars, mine a new one as my ins. is much cheaper and more years NCB. I was going to get a car about 1 year old. Either that or through a lease scheme at work. Was looking at an astra for me.

DP was getting the older run around, but we still wanted something bigger but cheaper to run. Taxi drivers all have Octavias! Good, roomy, cheap to run, reliable. So we thought that would be a good option.

I guess I could have the fiesta but I'd have to find a mug to buy my car... And again, we need 2 economical cars really.

I'm grateful, very, don't get me wrong! Just frustrated as I would like to save money and cars are quite a big expenditure for us! DP being the biggest expenditure despite the fact he does 1/3 of the miles I do!

Am in bed mum! Am feeding the chuffin' monster! might trade him for a car... If he stops being too damn cute! DP is on sofa so we are all alone in bed tonight

Niiiight!

Night all

LO restless so doing a much earlier feed than usual. I'm calling growth spurt.

We tried the dummy..... Less than impressed. She did a couple of good sucks after repeated attempts but really was so unimpressed it was quite funny. Sigh. So she's back to suckling on my little finger. Mind you, she started suckling on her hands a few times today so fingers crossed.

Sleepy wishes all!

Why is it bad that we were discussing sleep? Isn't every new parent obsessed with it?

Zcos. I had same fears. Same conversation. But am I really surprised by FH behaviour?
Nope. N that's the sad part.

Re: nurseries. I spent most of last year temping (single days here and there) and saw some appalling practices. It has made me deeply sceptical. Also, with dp unable to work and me on unqualified teacher pay, there wouldn't be enough for a decent nursery, just whatever we could afford. And i don't trust anyone much with my pfb. Afaik it's a fairly common attitude among cc workers - no one could possibly measure up to my standards

My dp is possibly the exception to the rule. He's about as far from a twunt as you can get. He's immensely frustrated at not being able to give me much support with R even though i think he does loads in the circumstances

Evening all you night birds.

It's lunchtime here and I've had a total fail of a day.

Playgroup started today after the Summer holiday break. Took DD for the first time (no groups in China and couldn't be arse to go when we first arrived here and was pg). Turned up to the church hall, left pram outside with the other prams. Walked in. Saw that instead of a playgroup it was a toddler ballet class - all the toddlers had fairy wands, wings and ballet dresses on. DD, of course, was DESPERATE to join in and I had to drag her out screaming and strap her into the pram again. Fucking horrible and I felt like an absolute worm. so I bought her an iced bun to make up for it

Ah well.

Purple that's great re your dp.

Nurseries here are seen as so normal that I've been told repeatedly that my children will miss out and be VERY behind at school if they don't go. SAHM seems to be vanishingly rare.

Damn.

Gonna be due a feed at 8. He better take it damn fast if we stand a chance of getting out at 8.30!

Have come to realise that Oscar feeds when Oscar wants to. Pointless offering feed early. He won't take it or will take 1-2oz and still wants feeding at his 'correct' time.

DP reckons he knows more than he let's on!

Well that was fast. He chugged 3oz quickly and then took almost 2 more a bit slower. Lots of fussing though. Now he's asleep. That's 26 minutes from wake to finished... Gotta be our personal best!

When did others go up to size 3 teats? Only went up to size 2 at 7 weeks so seems a little early. But he's fussing an awful lot. Head turning every couple of sucks, pulling away angrily etc.