November 2012 - sleepless nights aplenty

[StuntNun]

Previous thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/postnatal_clubs/1635480-November-2012-all-the-babies-have-arrived

Stats list: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/1485512-November-2012-Stats-List

Blocked duct agony:(

Aww pikz lots of warm towels and massaging feed lots or pump off that boob too

Oh no Pikz I hope you get it sorted quickly.

Ouch pikz have just been through this myself. This is how I got rid;

1. take ibuprofen if you are able to I.e. not asthmatic
2. feed exclusively from that side for at least half a day
3. pump the other side to prevent it getting engorged & blockages
4. heat area just before a feed
5. massage/comb with a wide round toothed comb towards the nipple during a feed
6. massage with a flannel during a bath/shower
7. try feeding on all 4s, dangling your boob over baby like an udder on a cow, as gravity then helps the milk flow
8. if possible, rest lots. I think mine may have turned or started to turn into mastitis as my boob was hot & red, but it wasn't infected & I cleared it in about 48hrs max.

Have finally got our broadband sorted but something has since happened to how my bloody phone views this site so it expands it beyond the limits of the screen.

A is being a pain - messing about on & off my boob, refusing to be winded. Just what you want at 4am. Double

chunky my phone has been doing that this evening too - bloody annoying.

Just had a good stretch of sleep - 11.45-4.45 - I think that's a record. I must have slept well too, as I didn't even hear DP get in from work.

stunt that was a vile thing to say :(

peaky our evenings are still like that too. I have a friend with a baby same age as mine who was worrying about how to get him to go down earlier than 9. Our 23.45 this evening is the earliest N has ever gone down. She will sleep before then, but only in short chunks and only on me.

pikz oh no :( Hope it clears soon.

Swaddle wrap scores again! Last feed was 1130, but took an hour and 20 to change (twice) feed and cuddle til soundly asleep. He woke at 330, and I kicked woke dp as per our deal (he gets bottle, and does nappy change, I do feed and settle!) 4 fecking times and he fucking well ignored me! Anyway Oscar must have settled himself back to sleep as we weren't woken for another hour! So he has gone 5 hours between feeds. Technically. DP got up this time. After I shouted at him.

Gonna keep doing the wrap if it gives us this decent stretch at night!

In other news. Tesco are c u next Tuesdays.

CBA ranting, but needless to say, I won't be going back, and I have written a very strongly written complaint about their lack of consistency in any of their so called policies. GRRRRR. And if I found the time to write it with a 4 week old baby 4 days before christmas, you get some idea of how much they pissed me off! I did win in the end though ha.

Owww pikz hope you get it unblocked soon. I had them lots with DD1 so can sympathise :(

LO been up since she woke for feed at 3am, not sure what's up. She doesn't want feeding and has done a big burp, wish babies could talk!

Just wondering what those of you who whose babies are in sleeping bags are dressing them in at night? And what the temp of your room is? I have LO in a vest and sleep suit and temp is 18 degrees but sometimes drops to 15/16. Wondering if I'm over dressing her

Cheers Chunky. I've only got one 120ml pack in the freezer and the only info I've found so far when defrosting in the fridge is '12 hours'. I don't know if that means they should defrost for at least 12 hours or use within 12 hours once defrosted if you see what I mean.

I'm up now watching the baby stir. That was my big stretch of sleep that I'm always grateful for. I imagine things will get better with feeding but I struggle to imagine an evening routine yet as he just doesn't stop feeding for long enough at night to put anything in place other than a quick bath done by Dad to give me a quick break to eat before putting him back on. I'll just go with the baby and start changing things as he calms down. I keep thinking I should read him a story but no point over the screams. Maybe I should try when he's feeding. I'm buying a posh little kindle paperwhite with my Christmas money so that'll help there! As soon as I've got more hands free we can use the actual books I have for him. I used to say that I'd never buy a kindle as I love books and turning pages. I've totally changed my mind while breast feeding as I just can't do it 1 handed!

A miracle has happened in this house, DS2 slept to 5.30! Not sure what time DH brought him up but I was in bed for 10pm so was actually awake before him waiting to give him a feed! Kind of helps to make up for a day of continuous feeding and literally 1 1/2 hours sleep from him! Previous 2 nights he's only gone 1 hour between feeds.

Anyone got any ideas for how I set up a bedtime routine for DS2 that will fit in with what I already do for DS2 (21 months). DS1's routine is roughly this:

Upstairs for bath at 6
Put bedtime music on when out of the bath
Pyjamas
Dim the lights
Milk and stories
Toothbrush
Music and lights off
Bed by 7pm

(For those asking about routines, I found anything longer than this too long for DS and he'd start crying).

At the moment I sit on the loo(!) and feed DS2 while DS1 is in the bath then stick him in the rocker in the hallway while I do the rest of the routine and so far he has managed to snooze through it and wake just as I'm leaving DS1's bedroom.

I feel a bit neglectful that DS1 has this carefully thought through routine but DS2 doesn't! Have been thinking of maybe repeating DS1 routine with DS2 immediately after putting DS1 down.

I'll add that I have no idea how successful a routine for DS2 will be yet as evenings are variable, but generally he seems to fall asleep on my boob some point by 10 though if I try to move him he screams. I generally head up to bed at 9 or 10 when DH takes over and gives a bottle of formula sometime between 10 and 11.30, no idea how long it takes him to settle the LO.

That's great advice Chunky thanks for posting that.

Peaky I got a Kindle 18 months ago and I have never looked back. I still read 'tree books' in the bath, on planes or where I already have the book. I use the Kindle for heavy sci-fi or fantasy books that are hard to read in bed, I have downloaded loads of free classics so I have been reading the likes of Pride and Prejudice which is outside the box for me. I have been getting these awful pulp fiction e books cheaply: J R Rain writes awesome detective fiction with a supernatural twist. The best thing is that you can get free samples so you can read the first few chapters before deciding whether you want to pay for the whole book. The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo and Fifty Shades of Grey I didn't make it to the end of the sample so they didn't cost me anything.

Whatever did Tesco do that was so bad Detective? Did I miss something up thread?

Is anyone managing to get some 'me time'? Most days I don't get time to dry my hair and I consider myself lucky if I get breakfast. I'm trying to keep on top of the necessary housework such as clean clothes and clean dishes but that's the most I can manage just about keeping squalor at bay but it's not pretty. I have no chance of reading a book or sewing. I haven't played my saxophone since before the baby was born and I've missed two tutorials and one assignment on my OU course. Is there any way to get time to yourself with a baby in the house? When I ask DH to look after him he just dumps him in the basket/swing/pram/sofa with a dummy which doesn't last long before he's crying. Realistically I'm not going to be able to concentrate on anything while my baby is screaming, that's impossible. What does everyone else do or have you given up on being able to do anything for yourself?

Thanks for all the eczema advice. My mum (a retired nurse) came round last night and says it is definitely an allergy to something - poss polyester as she has a fleece blanket in her pram. It has by no means cleared this morning but is certainly looking a lot better (failing that the oilatum bath stuff is the real liquid gold!)

DP sent me to bed at 9pm last night as i was exhausted. Brought M up at 11.30, cue 3 hours of demon child cluster feeding and screaming every time we attempted to transfer to basket. She eventually tired herself out and then let us sleep until 6.30! Best 4 hours sleep ever.

Stunt how horrible men can be right twunts sometimes...

Stunt I'm fortunate dp is still off work until january and is pretty good at giving me an hour to sort myself out. No idea how I'm even going to shower when he goes back to work

Morning ladies

candy well done for bf in public!!! I had a go again last night in chiquitos lol - have only tried in restaurants so far so I can ask for a secluded table and have dh to back me up and reassure me that I'm not flashing boob or belly will try a Starbucks after Xmas when it's not so heavin

I've been Wanting to post for a couple of days as I've got a few questions but can't type on iPad one handed and if I'm not feeding I'm chasing around town getting last minute bits!!! And if I spend another pound on food I'll go bankrupt lol

Trying to remember what's been chatted about on this thread but have got a memory like a sieve!!!

Bedtime routine -dots has settled into one with a wide awake period between 9-12 pm I have to sit with her on me for 20 mins or so,making sure she's winded else she lies there making noises and fidgeting, then I transfer her to crib and once settled she goes through until 6.45 has done for past 4 mornings which is weird don't even have to look at clock now so i get almost 7 hours which is amazeballs. I do think swaddling helps though I've got a swaddle me that says it fits up to 14lb but I'm struggling to get the Velcro to meet lol must look on eBay for some more

I'm still concerned about the poo or lack of lol she only goes every 3 days and even then it's not the poosplosion I'd expect!! She's weeing for Britain and isn't showing any signs of constipation and I can tell when we put her in the carrycot that she is piling on the weight but still I worry!!!

Anyone else's LO not happy when awake to be left in bouncer or in cot?? She is happy to be walked around or sit while I talk to her but will jot let me put her down while I go for a wee let alone cook dinner, have a shower etc...

Dottie still has a gunky eye so have stopped with the drops as I think it's just a blocked tear duct rather than infection

Lots to do today - visiting in laws then collecting step kids then need to tidy up, wrap presents - then hubbie is working from 6 - his 2nd job is as a medic at a night club which he normally only does fri &sat nights but over Xmas he's working every night from 8-4am except Xmas eve and Xmas night :( which is bad enough with 3 kids but then have to look after 2 dss who behave but cooking, washing up, ironing clothes for and trying to get them settled for bed just adds to the work load - might as well be a single parent!!!

Sorry for the whinge - must get into the Christmas spirit which a few JD and cokes would help with damn bf'ing lol

stunt I concur that was a spiteful thing to say I am glad he apologised I hope it was with gusto! I manage to get a little time to myself, on occasion but not much. I have decided that until they are teenagers and don't want to be with me this is the way it will be and it is family life for the next few years. It is a difficult transition to make. Anyway I have decided to through myself at it.

rowing I had that kind of routine with DD1 but eventually it had to change as more came along because unfortunately it is just not doable so this is how we do it........

5pm ...yes I start that early DS1 ( and the DDs when they are here) have tea while Olly has half of his bedtime bottle
5:30 ish bath time if necessary for whoever needs it
5:50ish settle I front of the tv bedtime hour DS1 and DDs with a drink of milk and a bedtime snack, toast or crumpet
6:10 Olly has the rest of his bottle
6:30 DS1 upstairs for story song and bed for 6:45
Finish of Olly's bottle and attempt transfer
7:00 clear up kitchen and tea stuff
7:30 DDs to bed story, negotiation a out how long the light stays on!
8:00 breathe

I do keep the lights low in the lounge for the second bit, from 6ish, if it is just me and the boys I turn all the lights off except for the tv and some of those twinkles twig things.

I was always adamant that it would all be upstairs and no telly etc but you have to keep it calm and if it is night garden that provides the trigger in their mind then so be it.

glenda Olly will only sit in a bouncer for a short amount of time, he likes to be carted around. Have a festive sherry. Sounds like you have got your work cut out for you today. Am sure you will cope brilliantly, if you need a whingy we are here!

Could you do an early tea while. DH is there to help supervise?

Yes detective I too am wondering what TEsco did and if I missed something?

Sophia you're right about the difficult transition into motherhood (I guess no matter how many children you have). I think my brain has been struggling to make that decision to accept it properly. One of my main problems is that I was so busy beforehand with 2 demanding jobs in the NHS and RAF, a demanding hobby in theatre and a part-time masters. I was never at home and if I was it was preparing for shows/exams/prep etc. Now I'm busy in a very different and emotional way and I'm struggling being home alone a lot but I'm trying to get out more.

Does anyone else still feel like it hasn't sunk in about having a baby? Really odd sensation sometimes!

Oh yes Glenda I feel your pain there. You can count the seconds until his face scrunches up to start crying. I try little n often play time but he ends up in the sling to calm him down. He loves having a good look around from a height in the sling or over people's shoulders. Mine hates it when you sit down with them! The crying starts and you jump back up again...

peaky it hasn't sunk in fully for me yet, and I am on no.3

Well, I am very much enjoying the moral high ground this morning. DH woke us both up at 3am. Me and DS! He was begging to come to bed so I said yes as J usually snacks from 3am so I just doze. He was sobered up and did not feel well. DDs were awake nice and early. J was asleep so I ensured my nip was shoved under his nose, and woke DH saying I could not get up as I was feeding J I did go downstairs soon after as I wanted to ensure everyone was safe, and DH was explaining what a hangover was and how they must never drink. It was very amusing, especially as he was changing DD2s night nappy which is a challenge at the best of times. He fell asleep shortly after, and was extremely apologetic. The girls have surrounded him with dolls and covered him with pretty things so pictures have been taken. If I had any make-up I would get it for them

So I had 3 hours sleep, and a few dozing. DS was soaked through (bad mummy) so I need to change him more often at night. He did not have his usual coughing fit in the night, just coughed when I got him up, and presented me with a huge lump of mucus. Nice. He is wearing a jasper conran onesie and looks tres dashing. He is asleep in his cot.

Bedtime routine does not exist. Three yawns = bed for junior. Same applies daytime. The girls go to bed at 7 and DH does that as I am feeding. He got into the routine of doing that when I broke my leg, and then I was big, then recovering from section, so DD2 no longer goes to bed for me. Last night, and when he is working, DD2 stays up with me and falls asleep as and when. Not ideal, but after trying a couple of times and having baby and DD screaming, it is the lesser of two evils.

Thank you everyone. Chunky you list has saved me... It's started to ease a little already. Will keep doing those bits until it goes. My temperature still a little high but I'm feeling a lot better. Thank you.

It sounds trivial now but the bastards made me cry last night at the time!!

I went to return some baby clothes which had been bought as a gift. Same as I did last week. Explained they were an unsuitable gift and would it be possible to get a credit voucher to the current value. Snotty arse of a kid tells me I can only exchange. I asked what their refund policy was as I had been given a voucher for the same scenario last week. He refused to show me anything with it in writing and just stated that he was right. . I thought oh I can't be arsed arguing so I said ok I'll go and get some baby milk and nappies. No madam it can only be swapped for other baby clothes. By then I was getting pissed off at how ridiculous it was. I'd already got everything I liked in Tesco for baby clothes, there was nothing I wanted. I just wanted a credit note exactly the same as I had been served with last time. The same as all the other supermarkets I'd returned baby clothes to had done if there was nothing I wanted to exchange for at the time.

Ended up saying forget it, but took away the store managers name to complain about inconsistent policies varying among staff and lack of a written policy to view. I'd also returned a faulty item at the same time as above. In all my exasperation I'd kept my bank card in my hand and not put it in my purse which was also in hand. I walked from customer services desk to the aisle with wrapping paper etc in for some gift tags as DP used all my fecking coordinated ones on my presents for some unknown reason when they are all going in a stocking! and walked to the till. By the time I'd got to the till I'd lost my card. I went back and retraced my steps and the card was nowhere to be seen. Id been not even 2 minutes. Pissed off even more now but at myself I asked the lady on self scan if it was found and handed in could my partner come and collect it for me, with it being 6pm and I had a brand new baby and another child to put to bed soon. She said it would be fine just let customer service dickhead know. So I did. Also left my name and number in case it wad found.

Got home and rang tesco as I'd decided I needed to cancel it if it hadn't been found by then. Got through and yes it had been found. But they hadn't bothered to ring me like they said. Anyway I said my partner would come and collect it now. Oh no madam, it has to be you who collects says customer service dickhead who I'd spoken to earlier. By now I know he is just being a grade A prick. So I rang customer services which puts you through to a call centre and explained the above. Oh it's no problem, your partner can collect it with a letter from you and if he takes your ID and his ID. Great said I, can you just speak to the store for me and tell them this so we don't get any problems. So she puts me on hold to speak to the store. Somehow I ended up back on the fucking phone to customer service dickead who tells me 'I've already told you madam that you have to collect the card in person'. I asked why customer services tell me differently on the phone. He says I don't know why, but they are wrong and I am right.

So incensed by now at the principal of being told completely the opposite by a store member of staff and customer services in the call centre, I tell him I will be ringing customer services back to ask for an email of the so called policy he is referring to.

Anyway, the end result was, DP picked my card up for me. He was just being a total wanker on a power trip. My persistence paid off...

If it hadn't been 4 days before Christmas, with a full food shop to so today, I'd of just left it there til I needed it and gone and collect it. But I needed it last night! And As precious as it sounds I don't want to leave Oscar anywhere without me yet. And I didn't want to drag him back out last night in the cold and rain at 7.30pm when it was so much easier for DP to get it for me. Having done the same a year ago in the same bloody store DP had collected it that time with no fuss at all.

So basically this guy has his own policy and the duty manager refused to over ride him. If they have a policy then fine, but to have different members of staff doing different things just isn't right. So that's what pissed me off more than anything!

Bit trivial really. But it stressed me out!! Was my first trip out alone with both children and DS1 was being a whingebag and DS2 was starting to stir for a feed at that time! SO all I wanted to do was get home and have tea/feed baby/go to fecking bed!

detective not trivial at all. Hope you get some compensation following your complaint.

And