chunky re the party, I would say as he arranged it, he should do everything at least. Actually, with a newborn and a sick toddler, insist he cancels. If DD was well I would suggest you visit a friend for the night, but she is not. He must put his family first. Re the feeding in bed, I was feeding DS lying down, then finding it challenging to wind him. It does not help that I have to wriggle down to the end of the bed to get out due to the cot being attached. I cannot seem to wind him sitting up in bed. I am actually getting up and feeding him in the nursery. He gets less wind, and any wind is easier to shift. He feeds quicker too as is more awake and concentrating better. It is lovely having him within reach, and if just a comfort nip is needed, then I do that lying down. That is a habit I need to work on, but if it gives me more sleep at the moment, than I can live with it.
On potty training, DD1 did not get it until she was well past 3, and was not dry at night until she was 5. All kids are different. Do not worry my mother is trying to train DD2 against my wishes. She is putting DD on the toilet and letting her wear pull-ups at her house. I have told her not to, that it is causing mixed messages. I may need to get firm.
candy experienced parents have experience of other kids. Kids are all different, and when they are born they themselves are not experienced. I have tried everything with DS that worked with the girls, but he is having none of it. We are making very slow progress, but Ewan is helping. Being more well is helping too, as is being older, as is me not pouncing on him the second he sniffs, and actually giving him a chance to self settle.