November 2012 - sleepless nights aplenty

[StuntNun]

Previous thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/postnatal_clubs/1635480-November-2012-all-the-babies-have-arrived

Stats list: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/1485512-November-2012-Stats-List

Few questions from me! (need to get on laptop to post/read properly!)

When they are doing a long time in the car seat, does anyone know if there is an actual length of time they should be out of the seat for before going back in it after the 2 hour limit? I realised I did not know this! Duuuh!

Eye colour... Anyone's babies changed eye colour yet? At what age?!

How to stop them wriggling to the top of the Moses basket and burying their face in it? Swaddle/growbags don't even stop him. He's been doing it since 2 weeks old.

Any tips on getting DPs to care for baby safely with out undermining confidence or being patronising? Had a few 'incidents' here and I'm getting worried. :( DP doesn't seem to have got the importance of them. Especially the one on Christmas morning where I woke up to crying and couldn't see the baby. Found him in bed (we don't have a problem with using the basket at night anymore, he goes In fine) behind DPs back, face buried in his back, with the covers over him completely. Luckily for everyone we aren't using the duvet at the minute, just a fleecy throw (but it's still quite thick). I've asked DP not to have him in bed in the past as he has done similar, but not as bad as this time. I want him to understand how dangerous it is without making him feel totally shit. Help!

VQ oh no - don't say that!!! She hasn't had it...:(

PR sorry to hear your DD is off to hospital. I had pneumonia more times than you can count on your hands (& possibly feet I'm led to believe) as a toddler. It's worrying but she'll be in the best place & get treatment. You couldn't have known - it was only the other day you were at the Dr!!!

detective not sure about any answers to the safety questions, but believe eye colour can start changing at any point and won't necessarily be fixed until as late as 2 years. My DD's changed quite early & were definitely the colour they are now by this time 2yrs ago, as they are identical to my eye colour (& quite unique even if I do say so myself) & we have a photo from the toddler group Xmas party. She was ~8mo. DS's eyes are a very dark, steel grey-blue, nothing like the usual baby blues, so who knows if they'll change?

petite thata terrible. hope dd gets better soon

Thank you. I'm just sat here with LO waiting to hear from DH about the tests and x rays etc. Feeling so groggy with cough and cold myself.

Eyes: DD1's eyes stayed blue until well after she was one then the last few months started to go brown / green and still don't look the same two days running. She's 21 months.

Petite pneumonia a blanket term. You have done nothing wrong not getting her checked sooner. It's a scary word, but is essentially a chest infection that won't shift. She will be ok.

Detective - strong words with dp. If not then I think a 'you will kill the baby'. Should just about do it? Does he not scare himself?! Wrt moving up, we changed to the pram, put it at a slight angle. Seems to have helped. There's also nothing in there for him to bury his head in now. The Moses basket was covered in very thin sheets. I stopped swaddling him in blankets very quickly as he just got out of them and was either very cold or buried in them. Dream pods/grow bags literally stopped my worrying.

Chick no advice about milk. Chunky/stunt/vq/yellow hopefully can help!!

Oh petite I am so very sorry x it is so hard being a parent and knowing when to get them checked. So many times I have taken little ones to the doctor only to be told it is just a cold and almost told off for being so fussy and over-protective. I had a shock when I took DS and he was admitted to hospital. I felt bad that I had not taken him before. Chances are of I had, I would have been sent away and told there was nothing wrong. That may well have happened if you had taken her before now. There are two of you parenting her, and you are not brand new parents. You are also not paediatricians. So, forgive yourself, and take things from here. Do not keep going over how you got to this point as that will not help any. You are not well, so take every opportunity to rest. I am glad your hubby took her. Hopefully he can be off work to help. Big big hugs from over the water x x x

PetiteRaleuse - agreed you've done nothing to feel awful about - hugs and get well wishes

See on Friday it was just a cold, and it's only lat night that I really started to worry and figured it should be left til this morning. And I suppose from 1am to 9am won't have made much difference, but this is parenthood : permanent guilt :)

Can't decide if DH should stay with her overnight or if I should. I'll take the laptop and some dvds and maybe leave them to it? I feel so shitty I can't think straight.

petite awwww poor dd hope she feels better soon x

detective eye colour can change from 6 weeks - dd1 has got gorgeous green eyes now but had blue eyes until she was 10mths old. Re your hubbie and baby in bed, mention how dangerous it is for baby to have covers over the face but make it more of a routine point that Oscar knows his crib means bedtime etc..??

Dottie woke up without crying and spent 20 minutes chatting/smiling at her soft toys - was soo cute!!! Off to take the dog to the vets for her jabs today then might go ice skating!!

chunky it may not be. DD1 had a high temp of 40 with no other symptoms and I took her to the Dr who said this is often a pre-curser to CP and in two weeks she may have it. 14 days later the spots started to appear. It is worth reading up about it, how best to treat it etc. no way to protect baby from getting it. If you are prepared, you will cope better. Hopefully it is not the pox. There are some good threads on here. DD had it when I was 24 weeks pregnant and had broken my leg if you recall. I was walking on it for a week as she was too poorly to leave.

detective you need to tell him straight. Does he want a dead baby on his conscience? No sugar coating. If he is big enough to make a baby, he is big enough to be told straight. I am sure you would rather risk upsetting him or undermining him than bury your child. Blunt but true.

Ho ho ho!

I actually wrote a massive post yesterday then forgot to hit post message. Doh

petite I am sorry you and LO are so poorly. It is so hard when our babies are ill as they have so few ways of sharing what is wrong and so many symptoms overlap. You are in the right place.

detective I wonder if you need a two-pronged approach with DP. There is a difference between him doing things that could just be improved a bit or tweaked for better results and things which actually put O at serious risk. I don't think there is any way around that but sit down with him calmly and explain why (for example) putting O in the bed like he did was so dangerous. The problem with waiting until he does it again is that you will lose it and he can disregard what you are saying because you will be shouty and cross. If you bring it up when he is being lovely and gentle with O you can focus on that and then draw his attention to the dangerous stuff. A calm but utterly serious manner leaves no doubt.

We are on to the second set of grandparents now. Thankfully Dh and I are feeling much better so hopefully we can relax as enjoy the visit. P was pretty grizzly yesterday but ate 22oz! For a wee girl who was struggling to hit 10oz a week ago I am delighted. I reckon the grizzlyness is a reaction to a growth spurt - she is 6 weeks this week. We moved up to 150ml today and she downed 120ml in the first sitting. Hooray! She gets weighed tomorrow so hopefully they will be able to sign her over to the GP and end the hospital visits.

petite would DD be happier with you there? Would you be happier there? As baby is FF it does not really matter who holds the bottle. You may well sleep better at the hospital as the nurses will be there to care for DD as well as you. Only you can decide.

I don't know she's very much a daddy's girl and hospitals give me panic attacks. When LO was hospitalised a few weeks ago I was rubbish when I was there. Will wait and see how my DH feels about it. He might prefer to stay with her. She's been aken to the hospital in Luxembourg not our local one in France - not much further away but I'm selfishly dreading the drive there later on I have no idea how to get there.

Last night we had a cycle of feed, wind, vomit, hiccups and repeat. Even Ewan did little to help. DH has been more helpful the last couple of nights, and has actually got up with me and helped wind him. He is 9 weeks old now so growth spurt must be passed, but the Dr did say he had a lot of catching up to do, although looking at his glorious fatness I am struggling to see where

DH has started on his healthy eating/fitness programme. Again. I will join him once I have eaten all the chocolate. He always does really well, but as soon as he is fit and beyond sexy, he stops and blobs again. I am looking forward to knowing that any figure I find under the lard will never be ruined by another tummy dweller.

PR it sounds to me as if daddy should stay with her then. Make a decisions ASAP and stick to it, so you can plan accordingly. If you are home with baby, take every spare moment to rest in bed, preferably asleep. Do not be using the time for housework!

Thanks VQ will look into it.

chick what makes you think your supply is lacking? Is it just settling to meet baby's needs?

Her chest xray showed that both lungs have been affected :(

My poor baby she must be so frightened :((((((

pr she had her mummy and daddy and was being well looked after. She is now in hospital being well looked after. She will be ok x

petit big hugs.

det re LO moving up crib. I tuck bottom of grow bag under the mattress. I had a very wriggly LO at first. Kept hitting his head at top of crib. But seems to have stopped doing it now.

Huge hugs petite. Must be very frightening for you all but she really is in the best place xxxx

Someone mentioned yesterday BOGOF boxes of pampers. Gt was it you? If so where was it?!?

After moaning at dh for the past 3 days that there is nothing wrong with him I now have flu Feel like shit. Screaming colicky baby is really not helping. She is getting herself so worked up. Too young for gripe water. Dentinox not helping and tescos sold out of infacol. Any advice???

Hope you all had a lovely christmas x

chunky he sucks differently when he's at the end of a feed and I'm getting that at the start. He's also being not very settled. He does this thing where he bobs his head up and down when you are holding him and tries to slide himself into a horizontal position when he's hungry and/or chews his fists which he's doing a bit more than usual. I'm using fenugreek as I've had issues from the start, think ill up the dose.

Good thinking gt although detective does not use bags yet. I would second putting it on a slight incline although if he wants to snuggle in he will find a way and a gradient would mean he is more likely to get stuck at the side for example.

I am not sure which kid is more hard work. They are all challenging in their own way. I need sleep!

chick growth spurt as he was quite early I would think. He is stimulating your supply. Just keep feeding whenever he wants. It is hard but your body will adjust.

Big hugs petit. Hope all is well very soon.

Thank you for all the grobag recommendations got some for 6£ in asda sale along with boxes of cheap nappies and wipes. Win!

I have a mil for free collection...before I kill her and DP...

Sorry to hear about PR's poorly DD1. Thinking of you and your family.