November 2012 - all the babies have arrived

[StuntNun]

Previous thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/postnatal_clubs/1629938-November-2012-come-on-stragglers-were-waiting-for-you

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Vq - total random woman in a coffee shop. I only went in feed him and have a drink. I was minding my own business and she was sat next me and just said formula was poison, I was dooming my babies future and setting him for failure. I quote 'thick, lazy people like you should not be allowed children'.

erm I have two masters, work as a clinical scientist and help run the family business. I own my house, am debt free bar my mortgage. I have tried for this baby for three years, you know nothing about we've been through nor what were going through or our future m. You've based this on a first glimpse of me and that I have a bottle in my hand. What if this baby was adopted? What if I'd had cancer and he'd been born to a surrogate? Would you have an issue then? No? I was bought up not to speak if I had nothing nice to say and to keep my opinions to myself unless asked for. My son will be bought up this way.

narrow minded cow

So annoyed I cried as I left.

horsey that is awful. I totaLly agree with everyone else that you will encounter judgyness no matter what you do - and this goes for every parenting decision. You're doing the best thing for you and your baby. Have confidence in this. I'm sorry you're upset about it.

VQ I don't like feeding in public because of those attitudes, but I do it, and manage an "I don't give a fuck" attitude myself and would definitely stare down anyone who challenged it. I think that attitude is extremely necessary as a parent!!

Thank you all for the advice I am going to start with not feeding any more frequently than every 2 hours & trying to distract him into going a bit longer between feeds. Obviously if he is hungry though he will get fed. Hopefully he will then start to naturally take more at each feed & actually sleep at night!

The sleep deprivation is a killer DF is generally very good & a hands on dad but he doesn't cope well with sleep deprivation & can get snappy at me which I can't cope with at the moment. so although he offers to do the night shift every day, I don't feel like I can let him as I don't want him getting frustrared with O. Also I feel like it is my job as a mummy and as I have already 'failed' at bf I really want to crack this.

Omg horsey how friggin dare she!!! I'd have thrown my coffee over her!!!

detective Dottie is a dribbler when she has her bedtime bottle, I fold a muslin up and put that under her chin then a bib on top - I've got a few bandana type bibs from next and they seem thicker and also scrunch under her chin so find them better than others.

I feed D in the football hold on the sofa but she keeps pushing her feet on the back of the sofa which on turn sends her head and mouth with my boob flying!!!! Lil witch!!!

I'm soooo tired today even though I had a good night last night - need my bed but dh is working so all on my own

Wish Dottie would finish feeding there's a tiramisu in the fridge that's calling my name!!!

Oh Horsey what an absolute weirdo.

Only seriously deranged people comment on other peoples parenting 'choices' no sane person would ever dare pass comment. So I wouldn't take any interest in what they had to say. I would have bitten her head off though, so should take my own advice!

For what it is worth, I bottle fed DS1 from the start, and never had any comments made at all. I dare anyone to try it this time around!

You have been very unlucky to come across one of lifes complete nutcases.

I'm bloody angry on your behalf!!!

Horsey I'm so sorry. :( If it helps my MIL has already had a rant to me about bfing mothers with their tits out in public who should show more respect to the elderly as they might be uncomfortable to see it.

It's 7am here and telling you all as cant face admitting to it in RL. I woke up last night to discover I'd fallen asleep (sitting up) whilst bfing. Ds head was pointing towards my feet and under the feather duvet and between DH & I. He wash fair way down the bed too. I don't remember waking up, getting him out of his cot or starting to feed him.

It has really, really frightened me about what could have happened :(

Comrade, we've all been there when so tired we can't remember. I did the night feeds one night and had no recollection of them at all, couldn't tell you when, how often, or how long he had fed for.

DP put Oscar in the moses basket this morning. He put him in so his head was at the foot end, right at the end of the basket, with a blanket by his face. I asked him why - he couldn't tell me why! He was like errrrr did I, wtf?!

I have no suggestions, as I slept most of the night feeds once he was on, waking every few minutes when he would come off for a splutter, and then go back on.

Hope you feel better soon.

Horsey that's horrible, and I understand why you were so upset. I hope now you've had time to rant and think about it you feel better about it and realise that she was being a twat. People are so divided on this issue it seems none of us can actually get it right.

Comrade that must have been very scary for you. I don't think there has been a night this week where I haven't fallen asleep during a feed. I just find it impossible to stay awake.

Horsey I cant believe that there are people out there who would say things like that! I hope you don't take her comments to heart too much.

horsey clearly she was talking out of her arse. And so bloody rude. Unfortunately this would feed into how you are feeling anyway, but please try to forget about her. She is not worth it. She wanted to upset you. Do not let her upset you any more

comrade I co sleep for that very reason. I fell asleep too with DD2 and she was under my ample boobage. Had I not woken she would have suffocated. I feed DS either in the chair, and read or MN, or in bed lying down if too tired, which is a lot lately. Co sleeping has its risks, but for me it is the safer option. Accept, learn and move on

comrade I read your post, sympathised, and just after my last post fell asleep, with LO lying on me on the sofa. And it's not a comfortable sofa, but I have been dropping off on it regularly this last week. I have no advice, no idea how to stop it happening. We're all massively tired, so I guess the best we can do is just try our best not to let it happen... There was lots of discussion in the first couple of postnatal threads about safe co-sleeping. We don't co-sleep with LO as DD1 is refusing to budge from the parental bed since LO was born, and I can't risk them being in the same bed - she kicks around so much I actually sported a rather impressive black eye for several weeks late pregnancy which raised a few eyebrows

comrade I often wake up and panic because I can't remember putting DS back in his crib and don't know whether he is in there or still in bed with me. I'm sure we have all done it.

comrade I dropped off with M in bed for all of 5 mins the other night. It bloody terrified me so massive hugs to you xxxx

horsey how fecking ignorant. I am so angry for you, people are bastards! I got all arsey with a postman on saturday who judged me for being in my pjs in the afternoon so I hate to think what would have happened if some stupid cow had voiced her opinions so horridly to me like that

Oops. Just dropped Ben and Jerrys cookie dough ice cream on DSs head. He did not seem bothered. Now has a quiff.

Imagine if that lady said that to shelley

Hope you are feeling a bit better about it now horsey

baby feeds and sleeps on his tummy on me - resting on one of his arms - i don't bother moving him because he seems comfy. he starts of feeding on his side, tummy to mummy but smooshes himself onto his tummy nearly every time.

comrade my DH was trying to settle DS on his chest. When I woke up, DH was on his side, with DS behind him, where he could have rolled back on to him. Nothing bad happened that time, or with you, so I'm sure you'll be more 'awake' every time from now on because of the scare, even though it wasn't your fault iyswim.

horsey - what a bitch (fuck her)

My 'D'F has just told me that MY sleep deprivation is doing HIS head in! He said it annoys him that I can't concentrate enough to have a conversation with him or tidy up after myself! ( Which is bollocks anyway as I always tidy up after everything I do) It must be so hard for him with his 7 hours unbroken sleep a night. Bastard

Sorry for the vent, it was either that or burst into tears all over O. Plus if I start crying now I won't be able to stop.

Horsey agree with what everyone else says. What ann ignorant person.

comrade l have fallen asleep holding. H a couple of times. Never did it with the other dcs and it scares me. l dowhat apple does ~ each time l wake up and H is quiet l have a moment of panic til l glance asleep and see him in his cot.

sweetpea clearly he is being a twat. It is quite a common complaint with new dads. It will pass

Talking if pass hope you are ok honey. Missed you today, and hope all is well with wee P

Went to weighing clinic, the greedy boy has gone from 9lb13oz to 10lb 12oz in 8 days!!

He has been feeding a lot.

I think is because he was born on 91st centile and dropped to below 75th and stayed there, he is trying to get back to his line

Also had DS1 2 year check on Wed, he s 33lb! Was born on 91st centile too and has stayed on it the whole time.

Jing in the early days I found it an impossible combination: painkillers, exhaustion, night (cluster) feeding, I drifted off more times than I care to remember and it terrified me. Usually only a few seconds but I once woke and DS was face down in my arms, I still feel sick to think of it.

I don't know how anyone doesn't end up doing it at some point. It's not your fault but of course you feel guilty. All you can do is be as safe as poss and if you are feeling tired then make sure the duvet is pushed far back & have no cushions. If DS is having a night when he only wants to sleep on me I put him upright in a position I don't think he can slip out of, just in case I doze for a sec.

Oh and on the stupid commentts you get about bf l found it gets worse the longer you do it. Even one of my best friends. made the comment that ?when they start getting teeth that?s a sign you should give up. l fed dd til she was around 2 but never in pubblic after she hit 1 cos l think there is sadly a bit of a stigma about extended bf (this is something l get on my soapbox about!)

I'm fine now. I told her in my poshest most stern voice exactly what I typed. I was so shocked that someone would dare say that?! I'm not one for confrontation but my god. It was just so many sweeping statements.

Anyway, strange lady. Her issue not mine.

Detective i use bibs and Muslins. He still gets milk everywhere.