November 2012 - all the babies have arrived

[StuntNun]

Previous thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/postnatal_clubs/1629938-November-2012-come-on-stragglers-were-waiting-for-you

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Horsey There seems to be such a stigma attached to ff. I admit to feeling quite embarassed/ashamed to be seen ff in public as I can guess what some people must be thinking. I know my baby is healthy and happy but I still can't shake the feeling that people look down on me for it

On the subject of bottle feeding - does anyone have any advice about getting Oscar to take more at each feed & therefore going longer between feeds (and maybe actually sleeping at night!) At the moment he tends to 'snack' throughout the day - occasionally taking the odd big feed. My MW and HV have both said to feed on demand but do you think I should try to enourage him to take more at each feed and if so how?

Horsey she knows SweetFA about anything to do with you and YOUR baby ... unfortunately there is know alls throughout your childs life to come...I mean there will be dinner ladies in the future sneering at what you put in his lunchbox FFS (sending unmumsnetty hugs)

horsey who was this who upset you? A stranger?

Sweetpea - I feed ds when he's hungry. This now tends to be between 3 and 4 hours. Overnight he goes until he wakes. In the early days we were trying to get weight on him but I was advised to feed up to 2 hours from the start of one feed to the start of the next and to try not to go shorter times. So if he fed at one not to feed until 3. Eventually he went longer on his own back, I also make sure he's fully awake before feeding too otherwise he wouldn't eat.

I don't know how you measure out how much your feeding him but I use 150 to 200 ml per kg of body weight. For the day. Then split into the number of feeds he has per day. So he's 4.7kg (ish) which means about 1000ml per day (ish rounded up). He has 5/6 feeds a day so I measure out 200ml per feed. He very rarely finishes a feed but if he's hungry then there's always food there. I have never been able to feed him any more than he wants to take whether that's 3oz or 7oz. I also dont feed him for hours on end. The longest he's fed for is about 50mins and that was when he was ill.

I've been led by him and listened to what the mws and hv said. All have been brilliant in saying what to do etc. As I was sensibly told, we eat and drink different amounts over the day and each day. Babies are the same and cleverer than we think!

DD2 wrote to Santa today. She asked for Juice.

Horsey it could have been a bottle of EBM for all she knew! Still at least you don't get dodgy old blokes leering at your boobs (their wives looking at you like you're a whore!) and chavs tutting disgustedly at BFing as 'dirty'.However you feed someone will pass comment. Ignore ignore ignore x

Oh and the classic line if you BF after 6 weeks 'you're doing that for you not baby' - personally Jonas wasn't capable of catering for himself at 6 weeks! Seriously no matter how you feed someone will judge.

I had something really poignant to say. I forgot it. Fucksake!

I have a contented parrot, I mean baby on my shoulder. He likes to go to sleep on my chest, head on shoulder, bum patted and jiggled up and down . I swaddle him once put down.

I've achieved lots in the end today. We are going to go out tomorrow. I feel human. Almost. The best bit of the day being cuddles with my baby! He is so yummy!

I'm going to bed soon. We are taking shifts tonight! I'm on the late shift lol!

YW I fed DS in the doctors surgery today and had a couple of wives glaring at me, with the 'whore' look. Thankfully I couldn't give a fuck

Thanks Horsey, that is sensible advice. I don't want to force a routine on him at 15 days old so will start with the 2 hour rule and see how we go. I think I have also been guilty of turning to the bottle every time he cries so will pay more attention to his hunger cues.

I must admit I am envious of FF mummies being able to share night feeds. It is relentless. Still in 6 week hell.

I was going to say similar YW as I know other bfing mums that have been told its disgusting, to sit in the toilet to feed & people have suggested they express/use bottles when out or stay in the house to feed!!! People have strong opinions about childrearing - whether its dummy vs thumb, co-sleeping, weaning at 4/5/6mths, blw vs purees, potty training, walking, developmental milestones, childcare, schools etc. You have to do what's best for your family.

Sweetpea they should eat of course if they are hungry, but you can increase the gap between feeds by distracting him. Of course you don't want him crying with hunger, but if you distract him by showing him pictures, or toys, or singing, or just chatting to him and as long as he seems happy ie not crying you can push, in theory, the feeds apart by a few minutes. He'll then, in theory, eat more as he will have waited longer. It's how they do it over here. LO is eight weeks and until this growth spurt it was working well. As she seems to be on a growth spirt now she is having 3oz every two to three hours, rather than 4 to 5 oz every four to five hours.

It's all theory but it did work for me with dd1. Don't do it at night though, as theyneed night feeds to be calm, quick and in as dark lighting as you can manage, otherwise you'll be awake for longer than you might otherwise be.

VQ I have a special glare reserved for wives of the generation brainwashed that breast was inferior and for those of the sisterhood who think that boobs belong to their fellas only! sadly that includes my MIL I don't give a rats ass now :)

Occassionally I think that VQ but my DH is so useless at waking up, I'd have to wake him up to feed the LO, so what's the point?

VQ if they actually wake for them... .

This is why I am doing the late shift!!

Chunky do we have the same other half?!!

VQ we're dipping in and out of the 6 week growth spurt fog too - not as bad as earlier in the week. Little sod fed 2 hourly last night. Keep going - we can do it!!!

sweetpea I keep my girls on a strict routine. I have to or I will be feeding 24 hours a day if I let them demand feed. With twins (and I don't imagine a singleton is different), the advice is to keep them topped up with milk so they sleep better at night. The twin parents I have spoken to (one of them is my GP) all say to keep them regularly fed/topped up in the day, even if that means waking them. I feed the girls at 7:30am, 10:30, 2pm, 5pm (this is a split feed, 30z at 5pm & 2oz at 6pm), then they wake around 10:30pm. I let them wake themselves at night. Currently it is around 4:30am. I always wake the other twin (or I would be up and down like a yoyo).

Before I took this advice and let them demand feed (like the NICU suggested), I never got any sleep. At one point, I did 6 night feeds between 11pm & 5am (3 per baby). I was exhausted and broken.

With regards to them snacking. Like horsey said, feed them when they are awake. When I wake them, I open the blinds & curtains, open their sleeping bags, sing to them and only take them out their cots and feed them when they are completely awake. If he drifts off to sleep, open the legs of his babygro, wind him, change feeding positions. Keep him awake for him to take his feed.

Hope this helps :)

I obviously dont sing to them and open the curtains at 4:30am!

That's great Detective. What a change in 48 hours!

Sweetpea your Lo is still young enough to have the rooting instinct. If you tickle his cheek and he moves his mouth towards your finger then he's hungry. Otherwise he might just want a cuddle, or a bit of a rant.

i'm not sure how long the rooting instinct lasts but mine doesn't seem to do it anymore.

LOL detective. Mine is currently trying to sort our WiFi rather than help with either dc at dinner

My labia are aching and throbbing. Not in a good way.

What is going on with my bits!!

Can I just ask what others use in terms of bibs etc? I have some of the soft neck tommee tippee ones, some ikea ones, and a couple of dribble bibs, as well as muslin cloths. He seems to be a messy bottlefeeder, and brings up some too much milk with each burp. The bibs don't seem to be stopping his clothes getting damp around the neck. The number 1 teats seem to be fast for him, as he ends up with more milk down his chin than anywhere else.

I suspect I just have a slow feeder on my hands! But I'd like to make it less damp for him me.

Also, another question, what do others do about warming feeds when out? We are making up feeds in 2 batches. I know it is recommended to make each feed as needed, but I have made an informed decision not to. Given that WHO guidelines do say you can, as long as rapidly cooled and no longer than 24 hours in main compartment of the fridge. We are making feeds for the day, and then the night. So we will be taking out cold formula with us. How would you take the chill off it? I've toyed with the idea of a flask of boiling water. Seems like a lot of faff though. Is there a better idea? We have quite a few small cartons still, so will be using those initially, but in a couple of weeks we will have run out.

I have to ask for everything. He sees nothing! He does what I ask - but why can't he SEE what needs doing? WHY!!!

He's playing his fucking game at the moment. He forgot to sterilise the pump when I told him I would need it before I went to bed. So now waiting for it to sterilise. He also needs to make the feeds for tonight while I'm still awake, or he might struggle later if I'm in bed and the baby is awake. Do I tell him this? Or let him learn the hard way!

Grumble grumble... I actually got more done in the 2 hours he was out the house going to the shop and getting DS from school today.