October babies. Don't get lost

[lisbethsopposite]

Come in come in.

Fingers crossed, yomping! That's almost exactly it - the more alert she becomes, the more disappointed with the world she seems to be . I'm praying for her to smile, just to make her challenging-ness a bit easier.

zara thinking of you, that's horrid.

Thanks for all the hugs and shoulders to cry on - it's so appreciated just to share the these things, this is such a caring group :) Feelimg better today and managed to get to baby yoga!

Watched this video this morning, about the connection between the brain and heart, and how the heart rhythms can be felt outside the body and so mother-child bonding comes from our hearts becoming synchronistic. ttfuture.org/jcp/videos/mother-infant-bonding

My check up isn't until 3 Jan, making it 10 weeks and not 6! Not impressed. I had a full episiostomy - should I wait for the check up sign off on sex? TMI but sometimes my vajayjay feels alright, other times it feels weird like there's a tampon not quite in right...maybe I should ring the docs to bring the appointment forward

Bora don't worry - our DC are two days apart. I have no routine, just days of vague ideas! DS used to pass out on the boob...now he headbutts me when I try to win him

Hi Oren - I've name changed since so the world doesn't see how truly neurotic I ambut I remember you from the overdue thread. Christ, if its not one thing it's another.

She made it clear she didn't want to come out and now she's here it seems the universe has confirmed her suspicions.

Don't get me wrong, I love DD with all my heart but I'm emotionally drained. I had 9 months of hyperemerisis followed by a traumatic birth and now this. I keep thinking if wont last forever, and it doesn't last for ever; it just swaps for some fresh hell

And yy to the head butting - she chins me and then screams at me like its my fault

welcome bora and firsttime.
bora we dont have any kind of routine either- i suppose this is what they call baby led! LO is only 3 weeks old though, but i have no.plans to try and set a routine really.
firsttime i had a third degree tear too- i was only told to wait 4 weeks for sex and the HV actually advised me to have sex before my 6wk review at the tear clinic.. funny how advice differs!! I will admit i am actually terrified of having sex again.. as much as i want to!! im sure that wont make the experience any easier

bora, someone said to me a few months ago that for the first few weeks of their lives, babies are just tubes- they just take stuff in one end and it goes straight out of the other. they all develop at different rates. plenty of people on this thread have babies that sleep perfectly and fed amazingly from day 1. I have a baby who is starting to love smiling and interacting, but still won't sleep longer than 2 hours and really struggled with feeding. they're all little people; individuals. sometimes it would be nice if we could programme them to act and react as the books say, but really they fall within a bell curve. that's what I tell myself anyway! every baby is different and every day with the same baby is different.

I guess I know that on one level London. I think I should perhaps focus on the stuff she does well; she does eat and sleep well.

yomping and oren so glad you guys are feeling better today. My mum read a great book about depression and it really helped her understand it... i will ask her what it was called.
i actually ventured out today, by myself!! DD in a sling and doggy on a lead and we went for a walk. Was a little stressful trying to control the dog (a gordon setter very used to beibg off the lead but we live in an urban area so she has to be on a lead round here) and was terrified she would pull us both over but it worked fairly well. Im not sure ive got the carrier on properly though- its a babybjorn but it was quite uncomfortable- think it needs adjusting.
i feel like i have achieved something today. and i managed to have TWO cups of tea with a friend while Pippa finally slept. Twas a very bad night last night.. she has got a cold and hasnt let me put her down. And she finally had a poo- THE most minging nappy ive ever seen. nearly a weeks worth of baby poo in one nappy... lovely

Greetings bora & firsttime

I feel a bit of a lurker as have been reading and not posting for ages it feels. Saw paeds yesterday, very nice man who was able to reassure that he thinks dd healthy but as much use as a chocolate teapot regarding the weight gain/bf issues. Said can't advise us to supplement more as bf best but also can't advise to carry on as we are as needs to gain more weight...
Me: So what do we do?
Paed:

Not sure we've given the bf lady's advice long enough so for now plan is to carry on switchfeeding with breast compressions. Try and express after feeds and in morning if opportunity and use to top up plus one bottle of formula as well. Could do with an extra pair of hands . Have appt on 20th back at hospital but can cancel this if "we don't want it". Not sure what they'll do if we go - mentioned blood tests but seems mean to inflict that on her...

On the plus side have managed to get her to have a couple of brief naps in her crib over the last couple of days! Also getting a 6 hour stretch at night (which I feel slightly guilty about - should I be waking her to feed her? On the other hand rest is good for milk production...)

Fed up of the mummy guilt and differing advice from health professionals.

Glad everyone enjoyed their nights out, I enjoyed mine last week but it was also weird - like when you've left your handbag somewhere...

at all the bogey saving, might start collecting DD's various secretions for show and tell when dh returns....

zara sorry i forgot to say, hope DS gets much better soon- thinking of you xx

wooly does your baby tell you when she's hungry? does she cry etc? if so I certainly wouldn't ruin a 6 hour chunk of sleep by waking her to feed (although I am speaking through a haze of 6 weeks of intense sleep deprivation). if you usually fed to a schedule and she doesn't ask for a feed then maybe you would prefer sticking to some sort of ' every 4 hours' schedule.
is anyone traveling for Xmas? we're going to my family in Yorkshire which is about a 3-4 hour drive. I'm a bit nervous about the journey not to mention the fact that she's having jet fiat jabs 2 days before that...

hugs to you Zara. let us know when you can- hope all is ok.

'jet fiat jabs'? fucking predictive text. think I meant 'her first jabs'...

Yay Yomping :o It will get easier now, I promise. Obviously there will still be tough moments (like last night at 02:00 when bean was whining and fistling and I felt like going to another room and just sleeeeeeeeeeping :o) but when they start to smile and play and sing a bit the cuteness kindof makes up for everything else :)

Zara if you can get Calpol in NZ that's what we got recommended for post-jabs. We gave bean some last week for sore throat (she was coughing, then screaming because the coughing hurt) and just one dose seemed to help a lot, she was able to go to sleep.

Waves at Bora and FirstTime

Bean met Santa today!!! It was so funny, event organised by Surestart for all mums in the area and was actually quite nice, we made a bauble and got a photo with Santa. She even got a present - nice little Gruffalo book - pretty cool when it was free :o Was a bit mad getting out of the house in time for it but just about made it...

Hey all - DS had a fitful night. He was given another dose of Pamol (same as Calpol) and it settled him for a few hours but temp back over 38 this morning. Consultant and all staff very watchful of his blotchy rashy skin (they are certain it's a reaction to his jabs, but very careful to rule out meningitis at every hourly check - a few of his symptoms are the same as those for meningitis). We are staying another night as fever has not come down really. Has had more paracetemol and is sleeping now.

The fever came on 3 hours after jabs. Consultant said he may need to have a different vaccination schedule to other babies.

I was wondering whether to just give him paracetemol or ibuprofen myself at home but as soon as his temp went past 38 and then 39 I wasted no time and went straight to GP who then referred us to the hospital.

Like any good paranoid mother I brought my Braun Thermoscan thermometer to hospital so I can check DS' temp whenever I like!

My trusty travel steriliser will be getting another outing here! Another annoyance at not bfing - while waiting to go up to paeds ward from ER he was hungry and I had no more formula for him :(

Poor DH is still in Ireland and wishes he were here with us :(

yomping yay the good old books on prescription service! I once helped set one of those schemes up in my librarian days! (Yup boring librarian here- though no longer [even more boring NHS]).
Anyway, I'm glad you're feeling more positive. It's not easy having a baby as I think we're all finding out. It can be terrifying in fact!
I thought it would be easy the second time round. It's not. Not only had it been really hard having a toddler too, but I feel just as anxious as I did the first time. Find myself googling random things like "daytime naps baby advice"!! at various points in the day!!

Och Zara that sounds tough, especially as no DH. Bless you all. Sounds like he being well cared for. Hugs to you both xx

Hope your bean is okay Zara x

Zara, hoping your little one improves soon. Sounds like he is being closely watched over which is great.

Our NCT meal was mixed. One little lad screamed non stop, for two hours. Apparently this is normal evening behaviour at their house . My heart went out to his mum. I only get about 40mins to an hour and that feels like an eternity. Nothing we can say can help, though, and I can't be of practical help as have my hands full already. Other than the screaming, it was ok, though I haven't really bonded with anyone yet. They're all so much younger than me (I'm 37 and next oldest is 30) and different interests etc.

zara just wanted to let you know I'm thinking about you and hope all is well with DS.

Know what you mean about running out of formula, same thing happened to us in emergency trip to hospital last week. We asked them to get some from maternity but 2 mums overheard us and offered us spare cartons - I could have cried at their kindness in adversity.

Sigh october it's a situation where it's easy to feel guilty again about not bf, huh?

It must be harder for NZ mums in that situation as ready-to-drink formula is only available in hospitals here. People always look inquisitively at my Aptamil cartons like they're some newfangled contraption! They only have a soy-based one available at the hospital too so I am getting DMIL to bring his usual powder in for me to make up on the ward. Not that DS seems to care what flavour the formula is.. But the soy-based one makes him smell like peanuts!!

zara thinking of you, it must be rotten spending all those hours in the hospital but it is hopefully of some comfort that he is being watched over and cared for. And massive props to you for acting so swiftly and taking the initiative! Sounds like you did so well in a situation where I think I would have dithered!

hugs Zara. that sounds horrible. hope you're ok.
we skipped off to the docs last week when she looked a bit red and her temp was 37.5. the six said anything up to 37.5 is normal and anything above is abnormal. anything above 38 and you should go straight to a and e.
well we've had the longest sleep yet- 11pm til 3.30am so I'm quite impressed. she is such a noisy squeaky squawky sleeper though that I didn't sleep that much.
this was also the first night that ok have exclusively breast feed her rather than given a bottle of expressed. she did seem to eat less because of this but it's really hard to tell. I'm constantly paranoid that she isn't getting enough because I can't see how much she gets.

awake an hour. baby asleep Thinking of you Zara