October 2012 babies part 2: winding, yawning and grizzling, and first smiles?

[YompingJo]

Part 2: in which our babies learn to sleep through the night and make us tea in the morning

Hello there,

Are you ladies still accepting late entrants? My baby was due October 27th but didn't show up till last week (8th Nov). I followed your antenatal thread a bit right at the end of pregnancy (though was always too exhausted to post) and feel like you ladies have lots of good experience to share. Also being on the October babies thread feels like her rightful place even if she hung out comfortably until Nov (not so comfortably for me).

She is a whopper - 9lb13 and 59cm long so is already bigger than a couple of her month old friends! I ended up with a c-section on 40 +10 day I went in to be induced as they discovered that she was breech (thank god they did as she had been like it for months but not spotted by heaps of people and I was down for a home birth which would have been quite scary if she had come arse first in the living room). It's proving tricky having such a heavy baby post section...my back hurts.

I have had my mother-in-law over telling me that babyzaxter's wind is my fault for eating 'non bland' food. She could not believe that I would eat chilli and green vegetables! Anyone else get this advice?? It just does not make sense to me - all Indian babies would be screaming the house down if chilli = painful wind no?

Hi everyone - baby Springer is still a Velcro baby at 4 weeks, sharing the frustrations of other mummies with toddlers to care for!
Have discovered today that he WILL sleep in his bouncy chair on vibrate - yippee!! It's a fisher price dwell one we bought 3 yrs ago for DD.
A friend has recommended this white noise cd:
www.littlesleepyhead.co.uk/
She thinks it was what made both her DDs settle in their Moses baskets (also good in the car squid )
Might buy a couple of the downloads for my iPod and see if it helps
Good luck everyone.....think we're going to get out and enjoy some autumn sun in the Kari-me...meant to help them sleep :)
X

Oo cherry that's the set I have I think. Have the play met too. Its Brill.

In other news my dried up milk boobs started lactating in the bath this morning. The human body makes no sense.....

Livvy, do you have any postnatal yoga exercises you would recommend? I just want to start getting my strength back (I'm 2 weeks pp). Was thinking of just some stretches. How do I gradually get the strength in my abs back? If I still have abs that is... I'm not quite ready for a crazy fitness routine like the amazing squid goes for!
I got about 4 hours sleep in 1 hour slots last night which actually doesn't seem too bad. Hubby's back at work today.
I've discovered something that makes my baby calm! 'Imagine' by John Lennon. Good taste, huh?
Welcome Zaxter!

slept 10pm - 4.30am!!! Then awake for 90mins but hey, what a sleep!!! Massive boulders for boobs this morning.

welcome new people!

my jelly belly is seriously depressing me too. Any tips do pass on!

Oh Crazy that's great, I know how much you needed it. So though....

Welcome zaxter I asked one of the nct BF advisors about foods to avoid....she said to eat normally (inc spicy foods), no evidence that windy/spiced food upset babies tummies. The bland food thing is from the 70s. good luck with MIL, mine told me she left her children to CIO over night at 3 weeks and after that they slept through

Zaxter I've heard loads about the windy breastmilk debate. I honestly don't understand how eating broccoli can pass wind into a baby, seriously. What do all the mothers in India do when they breastfeed for God's sake? I have an aunt who insists I mustn't eat grapes because they "affected" her babies - honestly, I think when you're sleep deprived and dealing with a crying baby you go a bit nuts and attribute a particularly bad day/week to whatever you can. You could end up with an extremely limited and boring diet!

I may be wrong, of course, not being an expert in any way! But my (male) health visitor who came to do my home visit at week 2 said in a very blase way - of course, you're avoiding citrus and curry if you're breastfeeding. Surely he should've been telling me to avoid excessive alcohol and caffeine? Didn't even mention them! Men, pff

So breast feeding support group was not best idea....... Room with mostly 2nd time mums all with older babies confidently and discreetly feeding whilst having a chat. Not ideal when u got v sore red boobs and a still wriggly baby and not mastered art if being discreet yet. Left after half hour trying not to cry with a baby just on verge of sqwaking!!! They probably think im a bit odd..... Lovely ladies but not for me, just felt so uncomfortable!! So can you all continue to be my support group please?????

Conclusion is that I need to practice bra opening and top lifting at home and bubba needs to be calmer. And discomfort less today so must be mostly due to infection.

Thank you all so much for comments on my birth story, sorry not to reply individually. I don't think I'm that brave or strong. I'm a great believer in that whatever shit life throws at you, what can you do only cope?? And then whinge after!! Some peeps here had worse time than me and babies in SBCU was far worse than an injured mummy. All over now, will never hav to do again!! Big part of me is stupidly pleased as I hav proven myself to myself!! I did it! That prob sounds daft but am sure many of you feel a similar pride in your selves.

And sorry, don't hate me..... Been in pre preg clothes since day I got home. All just disappeared. Sorry......

crazy I'm also a bit depressed by post baby tummy. Probably getting worse rather than better as I tend to eat junk food (I.e. lots of chocolate) when I'm tired - replace sleep with calories and I feel better in the short term but does lead to more wobbly bits. Oh well, will tackle that later....
huffle sorry bf group didn't go better....big hugs, glad its more comfortable today.
Hello zaxter nice to have you! I too think you should eat whatever you want when breastfeeding and really don't think it's going to make colic or whatever worse...
livvy hope you've had a better afternoon and it honestly does get better, just keep going a day, or even an hour at a time.
Went to baby clinic today, baby smiley still proceeding nicely along 25th centile, hv reckons copious and horrible possets plus unsettled baby probably means reflux worth treating so have phoned GP. I am feeling reassured by steady weight gain though so that's good. 4.26kg now froma birth weight of 3kg, not bad!

On food question. MW advised me to avoid onions and garlic nd spicy stuff tho she did say same; what do babies in India do??

Hav been sticking to this. Day after we had pasta sauce, nappies mental and baby cross! Even few onions on a stew seemed to aggravate. Do I'm eating bland and boring but will be reintroducing gradually to see how goes. Figure it is difficult enough coping with this little bundle without risking making him angrier!!!! He is getting much better st bringing up wind so I figure his digestive system is improving anyhow!

To continue the health visitors are crap theme: mine made an appointment to see me at home and then failed to turn up. Thanks very much. After waiting 2 hours, I went out for a grumpy run. (My mum is still here waiting for my poor overdue sister to go into labour)

Speaking of which, having sad body image day today and convinced i will never get back to pre-preg shape (which wasn't spectacular anyway) and wondering what al this stupid fitness and healthy eating stuff is in aid of anyway,... Thanks for vote of confidence about fitness regime londonmrss but you'd be better off with a body like huffle's which just drops weight!!

hope days are gpoing ok for people... we are about to enter witching hour, uh oh.... I have just washed and massaged Jess in the vain hope it might help...

huffle A friend of mine claimed her baby was made worse with garlic. I think it's a load of rubbish personally. Babies in India's mums eat hot curry, they are weaned on curry... I eat very (VERY) spicy food often and don't notice any difference on those days...

Aaaghh MIL is driving me mad. She's just desperate to grab baby olives whenever she can and make stupid ridiculous noises in her face. Feeling very territorial and want her to stop grabbing my baby. DH not very sympathetic telling me that this will be her only chance to spend time with the baby when she's so little - fine and i'm letting her hold her lots but what about me, she's my baby and I am still bonding with her as well. She's had her children already this is my time. Just want her to leave us alone! Still got one more whole day with her. And also I am going insane with the tv she's watching. She put it on first thing this morning and has watched antique programmes all day and now we're on stupid quiz shows. I don't mind tv but I hate shitty daytime programmes, find them so depressing...

Well feeling under pressure we made an effort to put baby olives in her Moses basket and she did 2 hours and then 1 1/2 hours last night in it, thanks to a very calm and patient DH. We still had some cuddles in bed between 6am and 9am but it was nice to have a bit more space the rest of the night. Whilst I love her sleeping in bed with us I don't want to do it permanently so here's hoping at 4 weeks she's beginning to be ready to be put down now.

I haven't changed my diet at all and haven't noticed any problems with wind etc. in fact I'm cooking chilli later so prob will get a whole load of comments from MIL!

Hope everyone has had a lovely day.

Had DH at home with me today helping, as childminder off for 3 weeks. Has been so lovely, but typically after 2 days of being awake constantly and shrieking lots, DS2 is having a really calm sleepy day and has been asleep pretty much all day.

Now some people would say that's cos I'm calmer cos I've got support, so DS2 is getting calm vibes off me and is sleeping, but I'd tell those people to fuck the fuck off to be perfectly honest. So don't risk my wrath and suggest it I'm just wondering what tonight will be like, as he slept brilliantly the 2 nights after the 2 grim days. We'll see, everything's so unpredictable this early on isn't it.

smileyhappymummy oohhhh yes to supplementing sleep with chocolate. I climb on the scales regularly, heave a sad sigh, and think of the kilos of chocolate I'm getting through...ah well. I dropped weight really quickly last time, which I expected to do again as I'm a milk-making-machine which is supposed to burn calories. Apparently not 2nd time round. My tummy actually scares me a little bit.

huffle sorry the breastfeeding support group was so crap. Not really supportive, is it? I wonder if you had a dud week? If they continue like that they'll scare all first-timers like you off, and it'll never grow. You need to rally support with more new first-timers and get going together. Those experienced mums were all in your shoes once too, and should've been nicer. Am cross on your behalf.

Gearing up for the evening grizzlathon. Surely after a day sleeping he's going to be awake for hooouuuuuurs.

Oof. After last nights sleep deprivation, lots of screaming from DD and me bawling my eyes out on the bathroom floor, my cleaner finally managed to soothe her with cuddle and she went to sleep. I got about 30 mins sleep but then lay awake worrying about how I'm to cope. Genius.

Anyway, then went for lunch with Nct girls which was lovely until DD woke up and howled and I ended up having to push the pram home and carry her as she was too distressed to even be in the pram. Sigh. I then cried at the health visitor for about two hours. She said I possibly have PND and I should get some help from family. I bloody can't. Grr. So that just made ne feel worse.

Anyway, then had a nice bath with DD and trying to feed her now so I can then sleep later. Thank god mat nurse is coming tomorrow though I may need more help next week. The nights are long!

I am reading everyone else. Sorry not to reply properly. Am rather short on mojo.

Hey peeps, usual wave and run :( About to make dinner just wanted to say hi. Another long sleep last night - but I actually woke bean to feed as boobs were ridiculous and am paranoid about ducts getting blocked again Squid sorry to hear about the car thing - ours is fine so far but we have a huge drive at Xmas and dreading that. All I can suggest is dummy / white noise - or the fab Ewan the Sheep which I love :o Also sorry to all with nobber scaremongering / non-showing-up HVs. Ours have been nice so far... Huffle sorry to hear the BFing group was crap - hoping to go to one tomorrow or next week but your description sounds like what I'm afraid of :( The one next week has buns which might be enough to lure me along... :o

Hope you're all doing okay. All great here bar the engorgement ON - keep hanging on oh peeps at 2-4 weeks, it will get easier (keep chanting like mantra). Like Squid am afraid of sounding too chirpy and making you weep - but don't worry we'll suffer first with the teething etc while you are enjoying happy chilled out beans... :o xo

Oh and londonmrss re yoga, its normally supposed to be after six weeks. But at the moment I would focus on walks and pelvic floor exercises at the moment. After that, stretching out shoulders (grasp hands behind back, look up, breathe deeply, stretch front of chest; grasp hands above head, stretch to one side etc). Also loosen up shoulders by placing hands on shoulders and doing circles with your elbows.

Other stuff hard to explain without demo. Hope that helps.

Angelico if the group good might drive the 70 odd miles and join you!!!!!

Ps I am joking...... That sounds like stalker ish behaviour!!!!

Just marking place. waves to everyone

I have two presentations and a seminar next week at college, DD is still a velcro baby and the house is a pig sty! I keep dropping off the end of this thread!

Huffle, don't apologise for dropping the weight, that's great! I have no belly, that went straight away and actual kilos nearly gone, but still can't do up any bottoms. tops ok though.
Didn't anyone at BF group offer you any advice?!

Livvy sending lots of mojo your way!

Would never suggest such a thing Crazy!

Squid, Angelico - like someone else said, your positive stories give us hope for the future, please don't stop.

It's 5:20am here. Today was all back to front and upside down so no big sleeps for me tonight. But all relatively calm.

Oh livvy poor, poor you. You sound just like I did with DS1. I just want to give you a huge hug and tell you it will get better, it will , and one day you will discover you are even enjoying it. It's so hard to imagine now, and I remember the feeling of my life crashing down round my ears and utter hopelessness. Your life is not going to be like this forever. I promise.

Being tired makes everything worse. So the way the world looks now isn't a true representation. And it's so hard to cope with the cause of your exhaustion when it's screaming at you constantly. I remember it so vividly and my heart really goes out to you. Keep using the maternity nurse as much as you possibly can. Any friends you have, any at all. Please don't be afraid to put yourself out there and get help Honestly it doesn't have to be so awful.

Maybe consider going to your GP and being honest about how things are at the moment. It sounds to me that maybe you do have PND now, maybe you don't, but you're on the verge, iykwim. If you get a moment, take this online test and see what it looks like. It's obviously no formal diagnosis but I think it's a good indicator.

But really truly and honestly you will enjoy your baby and your life one day. I thought my life was over as I knew it, and I would never find myself again and life was just going to be awful. It's not. My DS1 is the light of my life, and (until DS2 was born!!) I had time to myself, got enough sleep, had so much fun with DS1, went out on nights out with DH - life was life again.

This newborn phase is over reasonably quickly, in the grand scheme of things, but if you have PND and it goes untreated, your feelings could last longer than they need to. I suffered for over a year because I didn't get help - don't do what I did!! It's very treatable.

Sorry to rant. Hope it's helpful in any way. And a big big big hug for you.

livvy also thank you for the stretch recommendations - just did the hands behind back, look up to the sky malarky and it felt reeeaaaally good (if slightly straining at the bra...)

multi-post alert, sorry!: livvy my DS1 was always the one needing to be bounced madly or taken home when meeting up for coffee/lunch with NCT friends. I hated it, he was always screaming and I used to end up going home in tears, often carrying him whilst pushing the buggy just like you. They used to sit with their babies peacefully sleeping or sitting cooing on their laps bitches Now he's one of the best "behaved" (if there is such a thing!) toddlers in our group and is a delight to be around. So it's swings and roundabouts.

I think we may have embarked on the 6 week growth spurt. Today she has fed, cried and slept a bit. None of this nice calm alert time. Oh no. Has been glued to my boob since 5.30 now. Not sure I'm looking forward to tonight.