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November '05 - babies getting bigger, mummies getting smaller!

677 replies

novadandypowder · 29/03/2006 08:57

A nice new thread for us all - I know someone mentioned it a few days ago Grin

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
goldenoldie · 04/04/2006 19:57

Diege - know what you mean about the p/t thing. I know my liklihood of getting promoted will plummet as soon as I go back 4 days a week.

Karmamother · 04/04/2006 20:18

Diege, I love the Jolly Postman. Did you know there's a Christmas version too? I love all the Janet & Allan Ahlberg books. Understand your reticence with going p/t. My friend is quite high up in nurse management & told me that it's well recognised that when your children are young you have a career maintenance phase. Basically, you're not likely to be persuing promotion & will probably go p/t. When kids are older you will want to return to career advancement phase. With nursing being a predominantly female profession it's expected that half of the workforce will be "treading water". Sorry, waffling a bit.

GO, yep, he does have a gameboy. What a lifesaver that turned out to be. When he's not on it he's reading the Beano.

Diege · 04/04/2006 21:29

Thanks KARMA/GO for your comments. Yes, it's a sad reflection of our society that 'part time' translates as less commitment/ability/ ambition, whereas for many women I'm sure kids don't necessarily mean they are less 'driven' or interested in work. Wonder how many men apply for flex.work? Would be interesting to see how they are received.
So you're going 4 days a week GOLDEN? Is this including working from home?
Well, DH is away in London tonight, back late tomorrow. Am dreading 6am start and school run tomorrow!!! I've got used to him taking dds downstairs for 30 mins while I wake up with a cup of tea. Will have to get into super-powered Diege mode to make it to school on time! Grin

Diege · 04/04/2006 21:30

Thanks KARMA/GO for your comments. Yes, it's a sad reflection of our society that 'part time' translates as less commitment/ability/ ambition, whereas for many women I'm sure kids don't necessarily mean they are less 'driven' or interested in work. Wonder how many men apply for flex.work? Would be interesting to see how they are received.
So you're going 4 days a week GOLDEN? Is this including working from home?
Well, DH is away in London tonight, back late tomorrow. Am dreading 6am start and school run tomorrow!!! I've got used to him taking dds downstairs for 30 mins while I wake up with a cup of tea. Will have to get into super-powered Diege mode to make it to school on time! Grin

Rodeo · 04/04/2006 22:19

Deige - Sounds like things went well. I'm quite envious of all of you with careers, makes me feel a tad inferior Blush but children came first for me (cronologically I mean!!). My mum had us young and went on to get a teaching degree and is now head of early years at a big primary, so she's set a fine example for me Grin

Chacha, OMG that is just awful Shock There was a racist who phoned in to Matthew Wright this morning and he cut him off brilliantly. It's just so awful that it is still happening and doesn't seen to be getting any better :( Someone commented at work the other day 'When was I going to have another baby' 'How many have you got now?' & 'someone's got to keep the English race going' WTF??!! Agree with GO, being old is no excuse for being a tw*t. Angry

The children are currently being read a collection of Roald Dahl books which they really enjoy - Danny the Champion of the World has been a favourite so far. I myself have never read it - dp does the bedtime stories but have heard snippets from next room when I put J to bed :)

Right, I'm off to put a quick order in to the Book People, so Night!

PS Diege - [stage whispering] KK?! Haven't seen cover but I'm hazarding a guess!!

Diege · 04/04/2006 22:35

stage whispering back, yes, KK!!!!! Ooh d'you think that was too risky? We're in it together now. Let me know if you get phone call from News of the World, or knock on the door in middle of the night, whichever is first!!!

Diege · 04/04/2006 22:36

Oh my italics didn't work

Diege · 04/04/2006 22:36
Grin
Rodeo · 04/04/2006 22:39

I am currently on the phone to News of the World and I have given them your mobile number. Hope you don't mind Grin

Diege · 04/04/2006 22:44

GrinGrin Grin

Diege · 04/04/2006 22:45

Ooh there's the door, better get it'...on second thoughts...

JenJam · 05/04/2006 00:00

someone slap me - i've become a serial cake baker. is this normal postnatal behaviour?

there's no room in the freezer - not even for a teensy weensy ice cube tray full of mushed up carrot.

i am the highbury's women's institute. so far in the last week i have rustled up:-
shepherds pie 8 single portions
malteser cake
chocolate orange cake
orange cake (not as good as chocolate version)
guinness chocolate cake (best so far)
bakewell slice (very enjoyable)
coq au vin (delia) batch for 6 and batch for 2
coq au reisling (nigella) (yes i realise it's technically to be categorised as the above) 3 dinners for 2
lasagne 5 (6 made but we ate one tonight)
poor finn has sat in his bouncy chair staring at his lunatic mummy
perhaps i'm developing some kind of OCD related to food???
it all started with the discvery of an almost out of date packet of ground almonds at the back of the cupboard....and before i knew it i was out shopping for more ingredients (??!!!)
previously on desperate housewives .... it was strictly toast only in our house.

if my colleagues could see me now......

aarh is that the time? sorry, must go to bed - tomorrow i'm going to the science museum and the princess diana playground in kensington gardens with my 4 year old nephew who is staying fora couple of nights with his mummy. thursday i'm taking him on one of those top deck of the bus tour.

be back in the fold on friday! and less self-absorbed; just wanted to pop on and say hello

have had a very quick skim read of the thread up ...and want to

send a big supportive hug out to Ssausage

say to golden - sorry to not meet up last friday; i had a wonderful snooze ...
lilJ - thx for offer of a meet up but this week is a bit chocka. perhaps next week...oh and glad to hear nate is feeling better
bob - SMOKING is an evil psychological trap. when you are doing it you want to stop doing it and when you are not doing it you crave it! accept you will always feel a bit jekyl and hyde about it; but at least be smart and choose the healthy pathway! it's a dying pastime - next year it will be even more socially unacceptable. don't smoke anymore. please. you know it makes sense to stop and once you do stop you'll feel positive about yourself. do it for O. be strong. is this any help or shall i shut up??

looking forward to the meet up....

night night everyone x

JenJam · 05/04/2006 00:09

golden , diege, forgot to say that i felt a bit depressed when i read the posts about 4 days = low status;

it's sh*t isn't it; dp and i have been very loudly discussing my suggestion that we should both drop down to 4 days so F only goes into nursery for 3 days. i know it does not make sense for both of us to scupper our career prospects. but it pees me off that its the skilled and talented women who are expected to 'tread water' when children come along. LOUD sigh. i must've been living in cloud cookoo (sp?)land before i got pregnant

eyes itchy now so goodnight

JenJam · 05/04/2006 00:17

just been reading some more and see there is ALOT to catch up on.

karma - cor blimey you've got alot on your plate with your DS/DP conflict. I feel very embarrassed now at my first me me me post

sarahsausage · 05/04/2006 07:35

Morning girls,

Was hoping to post with good news that i was getting on with things and that i felt much better but i'm afraid that all went out of the window yesterday.

I was doing so much better accepted that he'd left and wasn't coming back and that i had to get on with things, was still a little bitter about him being able to live his life and mine was all about the girls but thats only to be expected right?

Well anyways, last night i found out he'd been cheating on me and now things are a million times worse. He reckons they are "just good friends" but how good a friend can she be after knowing each other a month?? I mean come on hour long phone conversations, nearly 600 txt msgs one after the next after the next. Not to mention they met while he was working away, so how would that go..... in the hotel bar she comes on to him and he says oh lets be friends?? yeah right.

I just feel so betrayed, so stupid, so ugly, worthless. My head feels like its gonna explode, i feel sick, i cant sleep.

I told him he can't see the girls and if he wants to then he has to get a court order. He wasn't good with them anyway. He'd come home from working away and the first thing he'd do was go on the computer, never got up with Lottie in the night, just called her for waking him up and Mia got a good telling off every time she got a little giddy. He used to be so good with Mia when she was younger, as soon as she hit 18 months he lost interest. I don't want him around, and to be honest i think the kids will be better off without him. You all may not agree, but i feel why have a a saturday afternoon with someone who doesn't love them like a parent should? He couldn't even loook after Mia for an hour while i was pregnant, he'd phone me asking me to come home. His bloody car is more important to him, and his job. I just don't see the point in him seeing them if his heart isn't in it.

Sorry for ranting i just dont know what else to do.

Hope you are all well and babies are growing nicely.

Sarahxx

Londoner · 05/04/2006 07:54

Good morning everyoneSmile,

Oh Sarah, Sad you must be feeling so many things, I'm not surprised at how you're feeling right now. Have you any family for support? Sounds like you could do with a bit of mothering yourself right now. You sound like a wonderful, caring mother to your 2 gorgeous daughters. Sending you hugs {{{}}} and lots of strength.

JenJam - I didn't know the meet venue had been changed ..... yum yum! ......Wink Move over Nigella!

Rodeo & Diege, you two crack me up!

Well, cabin fever ahoy in my house as this cold bug has decided to go around the family one more time, aaarg! On the up side, it's such a beautiful day out there.... wow!

goldenoldie · 05/04/2006 08:55

Diege - I wanted to WAH one day a week, but it was turned down, so I'm doing 4 long days - early starts, but I will finish at 4pm.

Karma - What is you DS into - wrestling, Pokemon?

Kids books - my Ds is far too grown-up now for me to read to him, sadly, but as a toddler he used to love all the 'Hairy McLary' books.

JenJam - hope you're not eating all those cakes?

SS - you poor thing. What a mess. By the sounds of it you will be glad to see the back of him - complete waste of space.

You are NOT stupid, ugly or worthless. Stop blaming yourself. You are a really good mum, give yourself a pat on the back for that.

Apologies if I am speaking out of turn. I know it is not easy, but please don't use the kids as a weapon against him. The argument/row is between you and him, the two grown-ups, don't drag the girls into it.

Do you really want to stop the girls seeing their dad till he gets a court order? What would be the point, apart from venting your anger and punishing the girls?

Please talk it over with a good friend/sister/mum before making any hard and fast decisions - for your girls sake.

Candiemom · 05/04/2006 09:30

Sarahsausage sounds horrible! The only thing that might be said here is that you are not alone. This sort of thing happens all the time, unfortunately, which is why there are so many songs, movies, books etc about it. You have been betrayed and you are of course angry, and not seeing him for now is probably a good idea. Probably you need some time before you work out what you want in the long term from him in terms of access to the girls and support to you. I agree you will likely do well without him but you never know when you might need his help later when you aren't so angry. I agree with Londoner get your support network around you and take up all the help on offer. Remember to eat -- a shock like this often triggers so much adrenalin you don't feel hungry but you need to try to stay healthy.

Chacha -- I don't know what to say. When I went to Glasgow a woman gave me a dirty look because we held up the bus from the plane waiting for dd's pram and I felt terrible about it for days.

Karma, great that your ds is coming to the meet up -- would bring my steps if we had them (I'll check).

Londoner, how is Elizabeth feeling??

Jenjam -- I would just like to invite us all over to yours for cakes. Sounds like your house smells like heaven! Good to hear from you and have a great time with your nephew!

Late anti-smoking tip -- BoB, as an older mom I think a lot about what would happen if I wasn't here for my dd and I wish wish wish I hadn't done some of the things I did earlier that probably took a toll on my body. All I can say is from where I'm standing in life NO short term risk is worth it. Replace it if you have to but GET RID OF IT.

Golden -- I am up for promotion this year too and forget it. I've decided not to go back for another 6 months and someone else going for promotion has just been given my job. Of course it is made to NOT look like that but that's what is happening. I'm trying really hard just to think about dd right now and in a couple of years I'll see what to do career-wise. I do believe that taking a bit of a 'break' with family will end up being very good for me, but I've got some identity issues to deal with as other people pass me by! Diege I laughed and laughed at the farting on your colleague's lap. Monty Python 'I fart in your general direction' gets quoted a lot around here...

Ok, anyone ELSE not sleeping through the night??? We did one sleep through about 6 weeks ago but since then still feeding every 4 - 5 hours. Last night I tried to give her water at the 5 am screamfest and at 6 finally caved and fed her milk which she to her credit drank ALL of and very quickly as if to prove to me that she was in fact starving. When I came back to bed dh goes, 'well that was a battle of wills and you totally lost.' Doesn't bode well. Anyway, any tips or experience???

Candiemom · 05/04/2006 09:33

Chacha the end of my comment was -- but I don't know what I'd do if someone said something racist to me. I wasn't comparing a dirty look to your lousy experience.

Candiemom · 05/04/2006 09:33

and Diege, thank you for the confirmation -- just as I suspected!! The article said 'certainly' way too many times...

Diege · 05/04/2006 09:39

Morning everyone!Smile. A lovely summer day here! Just got J up to school; relatively organised, but so much harder with DH away.
SARAH: what an awful situation you're in Sad, especially now there may be a 3rd party involved. You're right to feel bitter, but I agree with GO that, however hard it might seem, the girls should have the chance to see their dad, otherwise they might resent it later on. I've seen this happen, and it's really ugly. If he gets a court order, you'd have to comply anyway. Just thoughts based on friends' experineces; of course, I don;t know your specific situation Smile.
LONDONER: oh no colds again!!!! Bad enough to keep children off school? You're right though, it's a beautiful morning, which makes most things bearable Smile
Have just heard that my boss at work has not been reappointed, and the job's gone to a woman who seem really nice. He was such a bully, and I'm a strong believer in karma, so who knows, maybe things are looking up!
Well, assuming the police don't come for me re: KK libel, I'll catch up later. Hope you are OK RODEO Grin
Diege Smile

browniechick · 05/04/2006 10:43

Morning All! You'll be impressed to know that there were still 27 creme eggs when I went to Brownies last night!!! So lots of happy Brownies!
Sarah - so sorry to hear of the latest developments in your situation. Not much you can say really - try not to dwell on it or make too much sense of it by analysing your own life - these things don't often make sense, and it is NOT YOUR FAULT. You are a beautiful person and it is he who is weak. You are better off without him, but like others on here have said, don't punish your girls for his weaknesses - show him you are the strong one, they will love you all the more for not turning them against their Daddy - which is what he is afterall (whether he wants to be or not). Just remember your daily mantra - "I am a strong beautiful woman, and I will get through this. I have 2 beautiful girls who love me and whom I love. I am a stong beautiful woman......".

Chacha Shock and [angy] at your awful experience yesterday - some people are just so caught up in their own lives they don't realise the harm and hurt they cause other people. You are obviously stronger than him and rose above it. Well done you! although probably would have wished a puncture on him, or like someone else said a quick trip down a manhole!!!!!

Less than 3 weeks before go back to work! Can't believe where the time has gone! Diege, glad meeting with hR woman went ok. I am going back 4 days a week - was very lucky as had no problems changing my hours etc. My line manager actually said to me, don't mind which days you come back, just glad you are coming back!!!! How nice is that!? Smile

Am very excited about forthcoming JK gossip (albeit by dodgy text!!!! Grin) Diege, most of my family live up near you - in Widnes and Warrington (some in Penketh, and some in Gorse Covert). Don't buy Heat Shock what is the KK goss??

Have a good day everyone.

Brownie & Thomas

Rodeo · 05/04/2006 12:17

Morning :)

Sarah, sorry you're having a horrible time at the mo. You will turn the corner soon, GO, Diege & Brownie sound advice - as usual :)

Should be riding this morning but dhorse has lost a front shoe and needs to see the farrier first, so I've just been sorting through childrens clothes, put a bunch of them in charity bags :( Trying not to think about them otherwise I might find myself ripping them open and stuffing them in the backs of wardrobes Blush - is anyone else like this?! I can't help but be overly sentimental and think it holds me back.......

Just been looking at the antenatal threads and from what I can gather....

Hellkat doesn't know what she's having, has a hunch it's a girl but finds out on May 3rd, due Sept

Diddle doesn't know either also has a hunch it's a girl, due June

and MaddyD (formally cp3) is having a BOY! Due Sept too

what do you think of my detective skills? Wink

Candi - I'm still feeding milk through the night and will probably continue to until she's around 9 months to a year? Not sleeping through either but not worrying yet - I find it's easier to give the milk than try and hold out esp. that time of night/morning!

Brownie - We can't blab (for fear of prosecution!) but have a look on the mag rack at the shops later!!

Londoner · 05/04/2006 13:22

Rodeo - lol at you and 'dhorse', v.good. Also find it difficult to get rid of stuff here..... every time I have a clear out I seem to spend ions on a sentimental journey....

Diege - meant to say I enjoyed your post about your dream.... dh wondered who that strange woman was in his dream..... No, I am very flattered thank youSmile. (Was trying to think up some funny joke here to do with you usurping me, but none came...)

Londoner · 05/04/2006 13:30

Oh yes, and candi, same here with the night feeds... at the moment E is going to bed at @ 10/11pm and waking up 2 or 3 times between then and 7am...... knackering isn't it! Ah well, if a feed/cuddle gets them back off to sleep then I'm all for it, but it's hard to have any energy to do stuff during the day on little sleep isn't ...zzzzzzzzzzzzzz