November '05 - babies getting bigger, mummies getting smaller!

[novadandypowder]

A nice new thread for us all - I know someone mentioned it a few days ago

Just a quickie - just had a skim through, though was drawn to Karma's GF link . Wow! Have to say, some of the posters in the linked to thread were a bit OTT imo. I suppose I'm there with a couple of the posters in saying that whatever your 'take' on GF, personal (as opposed to academic) attack is not on (just as you wouldn't get away (and probably wouldn't try!) with it in real world, face to face). Not that I'm going to get into that thread - too much red rags and bulls flying around for comfort !
BROWNIE: you see, all your creme egg problems would be over if they did the supersize ones; how many brownies would it take per egg? Had one myself this evening - FAR too small I must say! I've given it some thought, and I think I could manage 5 or 6 without being sick .
LOL L&SMUM about Bratz dolls; dd1 wants one for Easter (??), just because one of them has a similar name to her's (Yasmine/Jasmine); I don't like them either, but think, like you, that there are more important things to hold out on ; sounds like you had a lovely brithday do for Layla .
Looking forward to your pictures CANDI - love a good wedding .
RODEO: yes, mammoth hair session complete, and yes I am looking pretty swish in that department today . Wait till I wash it though, and it'll be back to the GHDS . Had to tell SW I would be away on night of 17th, so London seems really real now!!!! It's coming round quickly .
Right, ironing to do!!
Diege .

The link I provided has been deleted by MNHQ would you believe?

They've deleted the GF thread, but I can probably take a guess at the kind of things that were on it though. Can you sue a web noticeboard? Surely it comes under freedom of speech or some such garb?

Rodeo - I'm not actually that interested in the meet-up, don't think they are really on the same wavelength. Shame.

Do I have the oldest baby in the world that doesn't roll over? 2 weeks shy of 6 months and still nothing! And instead of holding her toes she holds her shins/knees/bottom of trousers which is very cute.

Is it normal for babies to shudder? You know when you have an involuntary shiver and say 'someones just walked over my grave'? Well thats what Nat does. I'm pretty sure she's not cold at the time, but it's a very definite shudder.

NOVA: LOL (at myself). Thought you weren;t interested in OUR mmet-up for a minute!!! Then realised it was another group!! relieved and strangely pleased . BTW, Libby isn't showing slighest inclination to roll or hold onto legs etc; just content to lie there and watch the world .
Wow, feel privileged to have read the banned thread; some of the posters got a bit silly, so can see (in light of court case) why it was wiped .
Right, bed for me
Diege

Karma - my Nat is rolling onto his side now too, but seems to get stuck there. Ezra is not even thinking about it.

What's the prob. with the step-kids? Are you cast as the wicked step-mother and can never do anything right?

Brownie - are there still 27 eggs?

Tex - re: food stains - I go straight for the chemical kosh and use spray Vanish before i put garment in the washing machine. Works every time.

Nova - no, you can't say what you like on Mumsnet or anywhere else. Defamatory remarks are libelous.

I think there is a heading at the top of the mumsnet home page which explains that it reserves the right not to carry illegal remarks - racist, sexist, and so on.

But why do people get so obsessed/upset with GF? Surely, if you don't like it, don't use it, end of story.

GO,the problem lies with DP, he doesn't like my DS. I haven't gone into much detail about this previously but when I came to live with DP I had to let my DS go to live with his Dad. He'd had too many changes including schools so (against my better judgement) I reluctantly agreed to him living with his Dad. I feel horrendously guilty about it & DS was very upset as you can imagine. On the positive side, as he's now 9 he enjoys doing stuff with his Dad & I know there's a happy environment there & he's doing very well at his school. It also made it much easier when Ella came along, it meant I could devote all my time & attention to her. So, I drive up & collect DS every other weekend & when he's here there is tension. He is very perceptive & feels DP doesn't like him....,which is true! He isn't relaxed here, acts in a timid fashion & is understandably unsure of where he fits into the family group. DP thinks this is rubbish & that he is uncommunicative, sullen at times & sometimes rude. Just about every argument is about this. I have made a huge effort to get on with his 2 kids & you only get out what you put in, right? He thinks my DS should make the first step & be more chatty.

Sorry for the long post. I was going to put this in the step-parenting section but it seems to have come out here. The agony is my DS, despite the atmosphere that exists here, still wants to come & live with me again. On a practical level, we really don't have the space...we're planning to extend the house in the next year. But I don't think I have the strength to cope with the bad feeling from DP towards DS everyday. What I do at the weekend is set off to Newcastle with DS really early to reduce the amount of time he's here. We end up visiting friends up there.

Well, there you have it. Ella is a complete doddle compared with this little problem. Have to go as I don't want DP coming down & reading this.

morning

thanks for the telling off. i'm determined not to lapse again and will get on dp's case as he ought to stop.

nova - was that the allen carr book?

O is rolling, he can go all the way now so can quickly make a getway..lol
tbh i wish he couldn't as i have to be very careful and build a fortress around him when he's lying down..lol

whats all the fuss over gina ford..i don't follow her, but have read her books and taken some good advice from it.

i was wondering bout BAM actually, does anyone know how her business venture is going?

beks - hope you're coping with the holidays!

can anyone reccomen something for cradle cap? i wanted to avoid anything too harsh so have trid baby oil and brushing, but it's just not going away. he has a little patch right on his soft spot.

karma - x posts...
is there a particular reason he doesn't like him? or do you not want to go into it here.

Gosh KARMA, what a situation. Have no experinece of anything like this, so can only sympathise. I have to say that I think it's a bit tough on a 9 year old to 'make the first move' and be more chatty etc. Does seem like your DP needs to wake up a bit and look at things from DS's perspective. Sorry if I'm speaking out of turn, and it is just my opinion, not based on any real knowledge of the situation .
Agree with your comments GOLDEN about GF. Have never understood the fuss over what is after all just a book, which you can take or leave. You don't see me getting all steamed up over Mirium Stoppard/Penelope Leach . Maybe the most vitriolic critics have a secret inkling for her methods (just like they say the most homophobic people are secretly gay!). Don't think that would go down very well on thread though .
Re: stains, I use non-bio but spray stain with vanish. Pretty good, but probably no different to using bio in terms of chemicals.
Well, personnel women of many posts ago is coming to my house at 2 to 'fill me in' with changes going on at work. Will keep my mouth shut and listen for once without jumping in at every opportunity! This isn't the flex.application meeting, and DH has warned me not to get carried away by informality of the situation and ask about flex. application before it happens.See his point, but may be useful to see what she thinks about my chances?
Speak later after my coffee
Diege .

Bob: RE cradle cap, what you're doing already is the standars advice (oil and gently brush/facecloth) though they do say put it on at night, then remove in morning. Libby has it all over scalp, but I haven't thought too much about it (3rd baby thing again). Remember with dd1 getting a dentinox? shampoo that worked quite well, though have heard that the more you 'pick' at it, the worse it gets (can get infected). Have to admit at age 4 dd1 still has the odd patch

hmm diege..I think the oil might be part of the problem..i know you're supposed to really wash their hair after it as rsidue will cause more cradle cap but o hates having his hair washed so i never do it as well as i ought to.
might try not bothering with it and just washing as normal...

Karma - I really feel for you. You are right in the middle of the two men in your life.

To say your DP does not like your DS is a very strong statement - do you really think that?

Can understand that your DS want's to live with you. Difficult if you don't have the room, but he might think that you have chosen to make room for Ella, so why not for him?

If your DP has kids of his own I'm surprised he expects more of your DS - all kids can be difficult. My 10 year old can be a right git when he puts his mind to it, which is more often than I would like. And why does he expect your Ds to make the first move and be more chatty - who is the adult and who is the child?

Blimey, men are just as bad as the kids! And I though that was just in my house!

Hi all, I have posted some photos of the festivities. It was really relaxed and I surprised myself by having a lot of fun on the day. We got there on the Monday, and by the Wednesday I'd confirmed the menu, ordered the flowers, discussed the service and bought the dress. It was very easy as it's my hometown and church so I just went where I knew. My sister carried dd up the aisle after the flower girls (nieces) and we did the wedding vows first, then the christening cermony, then the signing of the register. There were lots of kids there so the meal involved a lot of jokes from the Joklopedia loads of pictures of people laughing at groanerama jokes. DD loved the trip and is I think a bit bored now. It feels great DH especially is happy as he was always worried people would think he married me because of dd when in fact he asked me before she was concieved. By the way April 1 was my discovery day anniversary -- I had to be very careful when I told him as he might have thought it was an April fool's.

Kara, I have stepkids and have several books on this including HOw to Parent with your Ex, Stepmotherhood and a couple others. My DH's ex is a problem very controlling and I think hormonal irrationality etc. The kids ask us questions when they are here and then go home and report to her which she then uses in her tirades against us. It is very destabilising I hate that we have to spend as much time on her as we do, but this is what is required so we both feel we have had an airing. We talk about it A LOT we need to so that we both feel that we have a united front. It has taken almost two years to get to a point where we are starting to feel like this is the case. It's ongoing I used to think we would solve it and then it would be fixed but actually it is frustratingly stubborn how the issues just STAY there. But they don't get worse and all the talking does bring us closer together. If your dp is resistent to talking and agreeing, maybe just you could see a counsellor so that at least you can deal with your ds and how you feel about that and feelings about the weekends when you have all the kids. You probably need to feel you know you've done all you can do and this is just about taking time out for yourself to reflect and talk about it good for you for talking about it here! I think this is difficult but entirely possible so don't lose hope you just need to acknowledge it is an ongoing issue and fraught with emotions (guilt being the primary one!) and like anything, you need to look after yourself so that it doesn't get away from you.

On a lighter note I've been a 24 addict since the start. This is a GREAT series but all of them have been. The president and his wife are excellent characters big risk after getting rid of Palmer.

On stains very hot water wash and soaking. Or you could try bleach (in the hot water wash) though you may be avoiding that? There's a book called Home Comforts I get all my homemaking tips from since I'm useless but well worth the investment.

More later. It is a glorious day here and I will not let it go to waste as I did yesterday. Plus I do believe that the new issues of Heat etc. are out today.

On cradle cap we got a cream on prescription called Daktacort which cleared it up in two applications. There is also a non-prescription one called Diprobase which is very good.

wow candimom..they are lovely, you all look gorgous.
I especilly like the b&w one, so natural!

On Gina Ford I think people get emotional about it because of the tone of how she writes and how blunt she is. All this clearly does work for her and many of my friends swear by some of her ideas but no one I know does all of her ideas (nor does she tell people to). I don't do anything like her approach it just does not come naturally to me but reading her every now and then makes me a bit more structured which is probably a better thing for dd.

Morning!
GO - yes, there are still 27 creme eggs!!
Karma - agree with Diege, think it is a bit unreasonable of dp to expect ds to "make the first move and be more chatty" - afterall, he is the adult, shouldn't he be big enough to make an effort and the first move? Sorry if talking out of turn, but it doesn't seem fair on ds. Keep us posted and feel free to vent if necessary.
Am hoping shade-a-babe will arrive today (am I obsessed or what!?) I know it has been despatched, so will keep you posted and let you all know what it is like.

Must go, need to have brekkie - before tea and toast goes cold!!!!!

Speak later
Brownie & Thomas
x

Thanks BoB. The photographer was a friend of my best friend -- she was very good!

Yes Candimom - don't forget that the beginning of the month also brings the next batch of baby mags too

I actually don't like this series of 24 (although do have the last 3 eps to catch up on when DH gets back from the US), it seems too much of a repeat of the other ones, and even more far fetched.

BoB - it may be worth bearing in mind that most baby oils are petroleum based and just sit on the skin to prevent moisture getting out, rather than actually moisturising. Maybe try a veg based oil like extra virgin olive oil or sweet almond oil. Maybe even dream cream could help? I use Baby balm on Nats and brush it with a soft baby brush when I can remember.

Vanish Oxi action do a baby version which seems to get rid of any stains on Nats clothes.

wow what a fabulous dress candimom!

Good morning ladies,

Feel lazy after too much sleep. Couldn't resist cuddles in bed with the LO - didn't mean for us to fall asleep though!

Karma - I'm sorry to hear about your situation and would pose the same questions that GO did. It can't be easy - sending you support and hugs x

BoB - Have to do fortress thing for Z too. He rolls on his side and then tries to eat the side of pillow/cushion which is quite amusing. My favourite is when lying on his back running, tongue out and all. When I make any kind of gesture/face he goes faster and gets way too excited. Love it!

My v.close friend and neighbour is being induced later (am quite excited) so need to get on top of some cooking. Feeling terribly broody! (how is that possible with a 4 month old?)

For those who've had c-sections:
My scar looks fine but the area just above the cut still feels quite tender. After yesterday's long walk it also feels 'heavy'. Can't quite describe it but almost like I've overdone it. Do any of you find the same or is it just me?
Also seems that there is more skin above the left side of cut. Enough rambling for me, have a good day all. Jabs at 2!

ChaCha - no tenderness/heaviness with my scar. In fact it has faded so much, and is in natural crease of blubber (well I am still 11 stone!) so you can't see it at all now unless you pull the skin up.

Karma, oh how heartbreaking for you :( Maybe you should post on the step parenting section too for a wider base of knowledge (MNers do know their stuff!) Do agree with the others though that your dp is the adult, and does need to see it from your ds's perspective.

Diege, think I'd have to ask! ut see your dh's point not to jump in with both feet! Maybe that's the difference between men and women! Good look anyway :) Maybe she'll be so overcome with your lovely hair she'll blab away without noticing

Nova you don't like this 24! Dp doesn't watch it either now (probably so I can't go 'What?? What just happened?? I don't understand!' at him anymore) So I usually have to watch it twice (what an excuse!) Think I must be a bit thick KWYM about meet-ups, there is a Derby one but I've never fancied that either :) And a baby oxi-vanish - Wow! I'll look out for that..

BoB - Try olive oil instead like Nova suggested, and leave overnight and bite the bullet and scrub away in the morning (earplugs optional!) I'm a terrible picker though ds had it qite bad and I balded (sp!) him by picking it all off !! I've tried not to pick J but do lapse on occasions..

Brownie, LOL you shade-a-babe obsessive! Hope it arrives! My dd1 has just picked up the word 'obsessed' and keeps using it in inappropriate sentences 'Mum, you're obsessed with frogspawn/toast/radiators etc'!!

Right off to look at Candi's pics. Sounds really lovely, just how I'd like to get married (if we ever get round to it!)

Hello all.

I have been trying to keep up but can't seem to find the time to post. However felt I had to add my tuppence worth on a few things today.

Wonderful pictures Candi, looks like a great day. I love the dress too, and now I know I'm not the only one who got married in green

Karma - so sorry you are in such a difficult position. Don't underestimate it and its effects on all of you, no wonder w/es are difficult, and your PND made a reappearance after Ella's birth.
I am from a stepfamily. My dad died when I was 7 and my mum remarried when I was 13 and my brother and sister were 11. My stepfather has always had a problem with my brother. As I have got older I can see that it has mainly been jealousy - my brother is the most laidback person in the world who everyone loves and I think my stepfather is threatened by that and particularly by the place he has in my mum's heart (being the only boy and losing his dad so young) It still goes on (my brother is now 41 ) with my stepfather trying to score points. The saddest thing is that it has affected the relationship between my mum and brother as she is, like you, between a rock and a hard place at times. What makes it worse though is they don't talk about it so simple misunderstandings grow on both sides.

At least you acknowledge there is a problem (I'm not sure my mum ever has and she certainly won't have talked it through with anyone else). As others have said, it won't be 'solved' but you are aware that things need to be done about it which is a damn good start.

One question (that you don't have to answer) - how open are you with your son about what is going on? He will make up what he hasn't been told/doesn't understand and that could be worse than the truth.

Don't know if any of that helps, I hope so.

Candi, your photos are gorgeous, and you all look so happy .
BROWNIE: I am the same when waiting for parcels, always checking my despatch no. on website to see where it it . I'm sure it will be your day today!
Good luck with jabs this afternoon CHACHA; are they Z's last set?
Well, LIbby is full of a cold (again), so being extra-cuddly.
Hey, on the Gina front, MIL looked after L for the 6 hours it took me to get my hair done . (Rant coming). MIL decided that she would feed L 30 mins early as she 'sounded hungry, poor little thing' (she had 2 ounces), got her up early from her nap, cause she heard her crying (she then fell asleep during next feed); and didn't change her nappy once ...right, feel better now I've ranted!!!
Diege