FEB 2010 Two and a half to three...the "contrary age" (no it isn't! yes it is!)

[InmaculadaConcepcion]

Come in, sit down, fresh coffee is brewing, Prosecco's in the fridge for later and there's a bumper box of Lindt chocolates for all....

CP good!

SB Scones I am tutoring a lovely teenager in french. It pays peanuts though and I am not having much luck finding more "clients" who fit in my time.

I am getting really stressed about our situation and I just want to curl up in a little ball.

NK [hgrin] good timing! sorry about it, though.

DD2 has started crying getting into school this week (she might be tired, time for an holiday/). She is also obsessed with painting! If we say no she goes behind our back and uses saliva instead of water . She did 11 drawing yesterday and wanted to do more at bedtime .

I am getting frustrated with her speech. She does make an effort but I just can't understand, I know it is not her fault but I am fed up of guessing and tantrums/shrieking. Gaahh

ww and rainbow Impressed by your Xpost at 2 am

Hello everyone!

Struggling here - loads of work and not feeling very well - but will get there soon, I'm sure. Just wanted to say that I am reading and thinking of you all, but am not getting time to post.

My husband is reluctant to change bed time as he likes to play with DS1 for as long as possible when he gets home from work. We've been getting him to bed earlier this week but he has been waking up earlier .

As for potty training, I don't think we're ready to start. Had upheaval enough with the new baby arriving & when we've tried pants he just wets them & doesn't even realise...

No point in rushing it if he and you aren't ready MrsHels!
Ugh on the early waking. Hangover from the clock change?

My MIL came to stay yesterday, just an overnight visit but it was actually lovely.

I think we went on the wrong foot after FIL said that stuff about not wanting to stay at my mum's and I still have some reservations about him (he is an incredibly selfish man who hasn't been able to move past blaming his parents for all his ills) and also me being very PFB about DS and thinking she wanted to snatch him and make him hers when he was a baby (not really but kind of new mother mental hormones magnifying slight tendencies on her part - didn't help that he looks so much like DH). Anyway I was wrong and she is brilliant and DS loves her and she took him out twice which saved my life (nursery is on half term).

NK Ouch! Sorry about your face and hope bruises fade soon.

IC Thanks for your sweet comments. So sorry that the baby is poorly - hope he gets better soon. It's so pitiful when they can't suck for long because they can't breathe through their noses. Good news on potty training.

Mous Don't beat yourself up about feeling frustrated. It's natural to want to communicate. ((hugs)). Tantrums try us all.

CP Glad you got a better night. Mine was sort of ok - DD woke two or three times and we had quite a long stretch of sleep with her in with me. But DS woke some time between 5.30 and 5.50 and despite my calm and sweet attempts to get him to go back to sleep I failed. I knew that grumping at him wouldn't work so I tried being really nice and giving him everything he asked for (water, a wee and a story - of course he waited until I'd gone back to bed to ask for each one separately).

to Science, SB (sorry you missed your date - you have a bit of a window of more than 24 hours don't you? Especially if you do it before you ovulate as the sperm can live up to 5 days), WW and everyone else.

I didn't go to the Tate Modern in the end on Sun - I went to the V&A. Nightmare journey there, had to wait nearly half an hour for a train then the bus from Victoria was on diversion (I am tube phobic so have to rely on trains and buses although I do make an exception for the East London Line/Overground whatever it's called as the trains are big and modern and it's mostly overground) so it took about 2 hours to get there, then he wanted to put his feet in the pond/water jets in the courtyard and I had to drag him screaming away. He was in his new kickers and I was like - NO WELLIES, NO WATER.

DH did have a good time at Muse thanks but he was a bit put out that the neighbour he took didn't buy him a single drink while they were there. DH bought him one on arrival and obv. gave him his free plus 1 so we are a bit . I'm embarrassed because I suggested him (he's the husband of one of my mum friends on the street). I don't think I can bring it up with my friend but I'd like to know what the he was thinking? It's just manners.

Sorry for mammoth essay.

Mous so sorry about your stressful situation. I wish I could magic your DH a job.....

Bc good to hear of the positive MIL experience!

Good news here - my cold has gone, thankfully - and apart from being a bit bunged up, DS seems to be on good form. I got the new snotsucker out today and I was vastly impressed with its efficient simplicity. I had the Dr Bee battery one before and although it worked pretty well, DD had meltdowns when I used it - I don't think she liked the noise apart from anything else. Well, I had to get a replacement after a friend I lent it to managed to lose various parts of it, so opted for a manual version. Used it today on DS (with a few drops of breast milk up the shnozz via syringe) and was suitably awed by how well it worked and how little it traumatised him. He's now breathing much more easily (and even better, is asleep....)

DD had no nap today. I blame sb or the fact she slept an hour later than normal this morning

mous :( I'm sorry but I've forgotten your general situation, but I hope things look up soon for you and have some hugs and chocolate in the meantime.

We also have the no wellies, no puddle rule as well as the no puddlesuit, no puddle jumping one. So far, she seems to respond really well to it, but i know it's a matter of time. I think the fact we do go out a few times puddle splashing in the week helps as she knows she will get her time.

MIL is also different when on her own, not as manic and more a real person. She also talks at a normal volume when on her own

good news is that although landlady made a lot of fuss about the property, she 'only' took 20 pounds more than the amount at which we said we wouldn't bother disputing. I still think we're paying a 100 over what is fair, but I can't be bothered and just relieved a good chuck of it is coming back.

boo? am going to make concerted effort to catch up properly?. i know i've been all about posting and running the last couple of times? CP i'll inbox you for FB.

more when I've caught up on the rest of this thread!

stoof have pm'd you back

DS had a even better night last night, feeds at 11 and 3:30. However I couldn't get till sleep until 1:30 and DD was up at 5:30. Managed to get an extra hour by waking DH (and so unfortunately DS) up at 6:30. Feel surprisingly OK and the it's the children's nursery afternoon so feet up now while I watch west wing.

CP hope you managed to catch up on some rest! Glad your ex-landlady didn't try and fleece you too badly, too.....

stoof hi! How are things? I hope the health situation is back on an even keel in your family.

I think it's fair to say that DD has totally cracked potty-using for pees - no accidents at all since the second day and she seems to be able to hold on if she needs to as well.
Poos, well apart from that lucky first strike on day one, the only other she's done (four days later - today) - was in her naptime nappy. I'm not overly surprised, knowing her poo-phobia I thought they might be a tougher issue to overcome. I've got a wrapped up present (late "Big Sister" present from my dad) sitting on a shelf for her to unwrap after her next potty-poo as an incentive (she knows it's there and it's in plain view...).

Meanwhile, we're now looking at phasing out the rewards for wees - initially by giving dwindling sized bits of chocolate buttons instead of the full sweet, then making it clear only poos will warrant a button. Anyone else who went down the reward route got any advice on that one? The other thing I'm thinking of doing is changing the wee reward from chocolate to a piece of fruit/something more healthy....
Also, what did the rest of you do when it came to removing the nappy for naps (those that still had naps at PT time!) and ultimately overnight? When did you do it? TIA...!

just a quicky cos I'm supposed to be writing a report for board i couldn't get done today?. IC first time round, PT DD when she was 2.10, she got wee's on day two, had always been irregular with poos, just used to encourage her to sit and squeeze and made an ENORMOUS fuss when she managed one? we waited a good couple of months after she'd cracked through the day before even thinking about night time. She was dry through the night in nappies for a few weeks, then after one bathtime, she said she didn't want to wear a nappy at night? and it worked? going to try with DS fri/sat/sun this week? he's been using potty for wees before bath for a few months? i suspect that he's not going to get it quite as quickly as his sis? if it's not looking good this weekend, will probs leave until christmas when i've got a week off work!!! (huzzah!)

you know IC it just kinda happened naturally. Think I went to not giving her one every time. They understand once it becomes more mundane, same as when they don't expect a round of applause every time they do a new thing.

Think I stopped the naptime nappy when I couldn't be bothered to put her in it. Just tried it and saw how it went, was only a couple/few weeks after.

We still have a night time nappy as figure why not. They are starting to become mostly dry but cost is quite low so I'm in no rush. We encourage her to use the toilet/potty late evening/early morning which I think she does mostly do.

Our hob has broken so we've having interesting dinners. Tonight's was quite tasty though. Mixed leaves (using up all our random bits of lettuce/spinach), cucumber, grape and balsamic vinegar salad with a jacket potato topped with a bean dip (cannellini beans, paprika, salt, pepper, small bit of garlic, olive oil, lemon juice all warmed in the microwave to help the garlic). Managed to get the consistency of the bean dip I was after.

remember one chocolate button isn't that much

Alex just stopped asking for chocolate after a while as pooing in the loo or potty became a habit. A couple of times I said we didn't have any but I didn't stop for quite a while after it becoming established. I wouldn't think about phasing out the rewards just yet - your idea of gradually cutting down sounds good.

He also took longer to poo in the appropriate place than he did to wee. It used to upset me quite a bit because I didn't want to chuck the pants so I had to do picking/scraping and washing. Glad that is over for the most part but he did poo his pants randomly last Thurs. It was very wet so I think it too him by surprise. His plaintive cry of 'CLEAN. CLEEEAN" alerted me to what had happened. When we were training he used to run off and hide and shout "LEAVE ME" when he was going to poo so it kind of acted as a signal for me. He still says 'leave me' when he wants to have a poo on the loo.

Did anyone get any trick or treaters? We didn't this year. Got one lot last year. I bought a few mini haribo bags just in case, I quite like Haribo.

It's nursery half term - I'm only just realising how much I depend on it to have a breather when it's not there. I know three times 3 hours isn't a lot but it makes such a difference. Expecially it gives DD a chance to nap/have time with me one to one. She's not getting anywhere near enough daytime sleep but there's nothing I can do, she won't self settle and there's no way I will leave her to cry for more than 5 mins eg if I am showering or in the middle of cooking and even then she can see me even if I'm not attending to her.

She got about half an hour in the morning in my bed around 10 - when I fed her to sleep and laid her down with boob still in mouth and then detached myself and another half an hour at 4ish in the pram. She went to sleep this evening at 6.45 and is still asleep. DS cannot yet play alone and even if I explain I am taking her upstairs to settle her so we can have time together he hasn't got the impulse control to stay quiet or not follow me upstairs. Even favourite tv shows are no good. I don't really have a solution. Our house is so tiny and he also wakes her when he wakes in the morning. He's not a quiet boy.

We went to the park with him on foot and her in the pram at three and she didn't drop off until we were nearly on our doorstep - luckily a neighbour stopped to chat in the street and when I looked round at her she'd dropped off.

You know those phrases toddlers have? My favourite one of his at the moment is "It feels me better". I gave him some milk and a biscuit when we got back from the park and after he'd drunk it he did a big sigh and told me "that feels me better".

Oh we did a little bit of Mr Poo Goes To Pooland - told him the poo wanted to go down the loo becuase his friends were there and it would make him happy. He kept asking 'is it happy'? every time he did one and I felt really mean telling him 'no' if he'd had an accident.

Aw "that feels me better..."!

Seems poos are generally a bit more of an effort from talking to RL mum friends too! Trouble with DD is she's unlikely to do them in her knickers, but will hold on...and hold on..and hold on, getting crankier and more distressed by the hour.

Today we knew she was desperate to go, but hanging on so in the end, DH held her on the potty in a firm cuddle, so she couldn't get up and kept telling her it was alright until she stopped protesting and finally let it out. Of course, she was very pleased with herself afterwards. Not an ideal way of doing it, but it had the desired effect and she was so relieved - physically and mentally - and much more cheerful for the rest of the day. Needless to say, she got her present.

Thanks for the thoughts on naps/nights/rewards etc, much appreciated! It's so great having the benefit of others' experiences.

In fact, DD has been generally delightful today - we took her to a friend's house and she did loads of unprompted "yes, please" and "no thanks" and generally co-operated with us. It was lovely for DH and I because these last three months or so have been extremely trying and spending time with DD when she's in a good mood and behaving helpfully is wonderful

My favourite DD1 phrase atm is "am are". Are you walking down the stairs DD1? Am are. Cute

cp Cambridge will look very good on your CV though, and the work only needs to be put in till Jan after which it's just waiting. And whether or not you do find something in the meantime then at least this is still there and you can still decide what you want to do with it should it be successful.....

Wondering how your LOs are doing with salad? DD will not touch raw salad leaves. Or vegetables generally now for that matter unless suitably marketed (DH managed to get her to eat a lot of broccoli the other day by calling them fairy trees).

On PT poos, we did big girls poo on potty, only babies poo in nappy.

rw - DS is being slightly fussier at the moment. He does still eat frozen peas and fine beans and raw carrot/cucumber sticks. He does have a couple of salad leaves when we have salad but he has gone right off lemon so no dressing for him.

'Fairy trees' is great.

I went out last night with 5 mum friends to the italian restaurant round the corner as two of them are turning 40 around now. One of them asked another mum if her next birthday was the big one and she replied "No, I'm 31". That was awkward. I knew she was younger than us and she looks it so God knows what the first one was thinking. She does have form for being a bit ditzy. She was the one who called the restaurant 'Pont De La Tour' 'Pomme De La Terre'.

CP Glad things are improving. Good luck on the fellowship application. I think it is worth the effort - would it be a three year one?

Oops bc...!!! Nice faux pas from your friend!

Another veg refusenik here, rainbow - DD eats potato in most forms, but other than that only has veg very occasionally (and not many at that! vegetable crisps, carrot and courgette muffins, once in a while a couple of petit pois...)

DD spent a day at her grandma's Montessori nursery today - and LOVED it. I suspect she would have enjoyed even if Grandma hadn't been there. I'll be checking out our local nurseries/pre-schools from next week.....

IC good to hear your DD enjoyed pre-school (even if it is MIL). Good luck finding one for her

CP how do you feel?

Today, I feel knakered and DS is full of life which tired me even more. This plus been hormonal is not fun

survival how are your DSs sleeping and feeling?

I'm good thanks. DH has got the latest cold worse than me. I'm going to try playing badminton tomorrow. Was mous (and science) ill? Haven't heard from NK in a while, hopefully half term hasn't swamped her.

That night I referenced has been the only night DD slept through. After going to her 8 times in two hours, I gave up and put her in my bed at 2am. I think she might be napping today but we went swimming.

DS also been too bunged up to sleep well, but that has been DH's realm and he won't let me take over.

SB is your hormonal cycle all weird again or is this normal part of relevant cycle.

IC I find it somewhat relieving that since you have had DS you've taken the same decisions the rest of us. I would love for DD to go to a Montessori, is it too far away to work as a regular thing? I keep meaning to buy a Montessori type book for house activity ideas.

stoof how are things with your DCs now. That was an awful run or illness, is it over?

CP glad to hear you're better.

My cycle js on track but my hormones seem to beall over

NK how are you?