Ladies I want to post the below in aibu but would rather your views:
I have friends who are ttc without much luck and 18 months down the line have been tested and it looks like they will need iui. I have (I feel) been very supportive during this time, been a shoulder to cry on etc. The woman has been told she is also being tested to see if she can carry a baby as she has caught and mc previously. I said (after much thought and discussions) that if that was the case I would be a surrogate for her. They are some of my closest friends, think maid of honour at each others weddings etc.
We have rush booked A's christening in light of my nan's diagnosis (as would anyone) and the man is unable to get the day of work. They were going to be godparents and a whole issue was made of this. I said I was disappointed but couldn't be helped and to stop an argument I ended up apologising that I couldn't change the date due to my nan over text (she didn't know yet as I haven't seen her since I found out and I didn't really want to do it over text).
Went there tonight to chat and she wasn't sure if she was going to come or be godmother as the man wouldn't be there and she thought I was inviting her ex who is also a friend of ours. The ex isn't invited as although he's a friend he's not that close anymore. She is now coming but was hinting at us changing to a Sunday even though they can't guarantee a private christening which a) I want and b) wouldn't put my nan through just after her starting chemotherapy.
I then said I was worried about her as she won't come out for coffee with our group of friends and always makes bad excuses and she said its not that she doesn't want to see us, she doesn't want us to bring our children because she doesn't have one and won't come if we do bring them.
I can sympathise with her position but I asked her how she would feel when they have a child if I said I didn't want her to bring that child when we socialise. The man then had a go at me saying I haven't had a mc and been trying for 18 months to have a child. I said it took a year to get ds1 (and I did have a mc before him it's just not well known) and he replied but at least you have two now and when we have one there won't be an issue with you bringing your children then.
I did ask if they meant to be rude to which she said no. We then left it and started talking about other things.
I don't want to make her feel bad and I can't possibly understand what they're going through but aibu to be upset and quite offended by what went on tonight? Either way I will let it go but I need to know if I should apologise to her for what I said back.