October 2012 babies - we meet them at last!

[YompingJo]

Getting thread in place in readiness!

• Any kind of movement involving my lower body hurts - walking (I'm slower than a zombie), standing up, sitting down, stairs, turning over in bed, getting in and out of bed - you get the picture!

Yes, very normal - you poor thing. Take paracetamol, hug a hot water bottle, and get your DP to wait on you hand and foot. It will get better, but you need to take it easy

• Being sat down is very uncomfortable.

I'm not surprised. There are several things you can do to soothe your nethers:

Fill a condom with water and freeze it. You can then put it in your knickers
Put some witch hazel on a maternity pad, freeze it and put it in your knickers - bit of a theme developing here
Aloe Vera gel is very soothing and will help with healing, as will a drop or two or lavender oil on a maternity towel
x2 cups of Epsom Salts and x4 drops of lavender oil in a very shallow bath (enough of a puddle to cover your bits when you sit) every other day for 10-15 minutes - pat yourself dry afterwards with a soft towel

• I'm terrified of the toilet. Not the going, but the wiping (TMI, sorry )

You need wet toilet tissue/ baby wipes! You may also want to think about eating dates and prunes to loosen your poo - it'll make things easier

• My lady bits feel like a warzone, and the midwife said the swelling would get worse before it gets better.

Normal. Swelling will go down soon. Promise. Arnica 200c (homeopathy) can help, as will witch hazel

Take it easy, get lots of rest, lots of yummy food, and lots of fluids

Hey peepettes :) Lots going on here!

Fjord you are an absolute hero persevering with the BFing, so glad it's going well

Loopy congrats on your new arrival! :)

Squid I'm sorry you're feeling so down :( Tbh it sounds like you are just totally sleep deprived - my ability to cope waxes and wanes depending on how much sleep I've had and one morning after a bad night I told DH that I hated the bean (then felt wracked with guilt all day ). Friend (mum of two) assured me this is totally normal after a sleepless night. Think you are being wise keeping an eye on yourself if you've had bouts of depression before BUT try not to go to the other extreme and get totally convinced that you have PND - because a lot of what you are feeling sounds quite normal. We found Infacol helped a little but you have to keep slugging it in. If it's any consolation the bean is screaming less in the evenings now when she was wild before - a couple of hours now rather than six hours (she's 4 weeks). With swaddling you need to get the arms straight and a nice tight swaddle, if it's too loose it doesn't seem to help. Also will put in bold detune the radio and let Jess listen to the static nice and loud, preferably when she is swaddled. Harvey Karp book talks about calming reflex and we've found it really useful. Most of all hang in there sweetheart - we're all on a rollercoaster and tbh my mood can change from hour to hour depending on tiredness / pain etc. Take all the help you can get. I miss DH too but friend was here earlier for lunch and she said at 6 weeks she started a proper bedtime routine at 7pm so she could have quality time with DH. Took a couple of months for it to click but her kids (now 8 and 6) still go to bed at 7 :) She is the one who texted me a week in to say, "It will get better. No one tells you it's all a bit dark and shit the first while but it does get better."

Smiley the driving is a pain isn't it? :( Another two weeks for me... Did you try the sling? How did you cope with it post-CS?

Yomping sorry you're so sore :( Friend in work also said witch hazel was her life saver - keep a bottle in fridge, pour it on maternity pad and sit on it for instant relief. All sounds normal after hardcore labour so hang in there

Eeek, radio is retuning self - shit, bring back the static!!!

Yes did try sling and actually felt quite comfy. Think it helps that it's s wrap sling so lots of material wrapped round tummy felt quite supportive. Walking much still makes scar hurt, so does laughing or coughing! We'll get there I hope.
Insurance company said ok to drive when I feel up to it - yay! Think carrying the car seat may be the problem.
Baby smiley seems to have got oral thrush and I think I've got it affecting my nipples too - sore where it wasn't before and a kind of deep down pain rather than on the surface. Have got some nystatin from health visitor but getting her to take it iS easier said than done! Anyone else had this?
Hope you're feeling more comfortable very soon yomping!

Hi-I need to catch up properly and read all these but a quick question. DD2 has been feeding generally for 15 mins today. Foes this mean she's not reaching the 'hind milk' stuff? How do you know if one boob is empty? I mainly bottle fed last time you see so is mostly new to me.

Lizzie Hope I can help.

1. 15 mins is great! There isnt any such thing as 'fore milk' and 'hind milk', it's a very popular myth though. The milk is slightly more watery at first (for a minute only) but the rest is all the same and all good.

DD feeds for an hour at a time! HV said that this should get shorter as she gets more efficient at feeding.

1. Your breasts are never empty. They get full inbetween feeds but the continually produce milk so you never run out. I feed DD on one side until she pulls off herself or falls asleep, then wind her and change her nappy to wake her up a bit, then offer the other side, which she usually accepts and has a shorter feed from.

I bottle fed my first baby too. I tried BF but didn't get the support and info I needed so it didn't work out. I've learned a lot from mumsnet.

Congratulations to all the new mums!!!

We registered the birth this morning so DD now offically exists! Also had her wieghed today and she's gained 5oz this week.

I also had an epic fall out with Mother. She tends to do this when something nice happens to me or at happy points in my life. The worst of it is she decided to act out her misery and jealousy by bullying DS, so was swiftly ejected from my house and told not to come back! The last time this happened she didnt contact me for 2 years. Oh well, at least I can enjoy my babies without the drama now.

hi ladies, snooping once again to see how life is on the other side.

Hugs to yomping who sounds sore, and to squid and crazy, who sound low :(

I don't want to come across as patronising, and i know i dont know what i am talking about as baby beccus is not even here yet, but hope u guys have a nice midwife/gp/health visitor, or someone u can talk to about how r u feeling.

For what it's worth, i think u guys are superheros! Pre pregnancy, think of how crap u would feel after a long haul flight/staying out clubbing until 6am and then being at work the next week. Think of what u would consider physically greulling - a marathon??

But u guys have endured far, far more than that. You guys have just gone through 40 weeks of growing a litttle person who has taken away lots of your nutrients and energy and added additional waste products your systems have had to deal with, and generally made it harder work for you just to be alive, whilst working in stressful jobs for the majority of that time, and crazy had to look after a toddler, as well. The last few weeks were really uncomfortable, your hormones were all over the shot and you slept terribly poorly.

Then, u had to go through labor, which is the most physically gruelling thing imaginable. Then, straight away, no recovery time, you had to look after a little baby on f@ck all sleep for weeks on end whilst enduring sore nipples and raging hormones. It is relentless!!! You deserve a f@cking medal just for surviving!!

Seriously, what an inefficient process - a woman would have designed it much better - our babies should be bought to us by a stork - a super stork who sticks around to do the feeding, nappy changes, etc.

Smiley's words are wise, it seems like those 1st few weeks are just about surviving!! I plan to just stay in bed and just getting some sleep will be an achievement in itself and managing a shower will be nothing short of a miracle. I am grumpy I am not indian/chinese and will not have a truckload of female relatives coming to be my slaves for 40 days while i stay in bed and learn to get to know my baby and how to breastfeed...and venture out if the urge so takes me.

Fjord, well done on cracking the breast feeding - bad nipple pun intended :)

Angelico, i hope i find a system that works as well for me as your system does for u and your bean - am in awe of your prolific MN posting and good advice for everyone - no idea how u r finding the time -well done u :)

Hope to join u soon, will stop invading now and return to the threads where i belong :) Miss u all xx

Posting from bed as I wonder if I should wake master midge for a feed or not. I suppose I should.

Not had the time to post and doing this from my phone so name checking will be awful.

Yomping congratulations and yes. What you describe sounds normal. Regular ipuprofen helps take some swelling out and I am taking arnica too. My stitches seem a bit Tight now but the pain is passing. Each day it gets better, honest.

Smiley I had thrush with DC1 - very nasty but I seem to remember just putting the cream on my nipples and treating the baby that way. It went fairly quickly if that is any comfort but it was toe curling. I feel your pain.

Squid if I didn't feel like I've been run Over by a truck I would pop up there and give you a good hug. We all do what we can do to get by and all the things you miss will be back soon. Honest it will. I always say god makes newborns smile to stop us putting them in a cupboard. Just as I got to the point where I just thought I can't take this anymore DD smiled at me and it all seemed worth it. Crafty little devils these babies. But I find it really annoying when people say you did well in labour. I wanted to kick the HCP's when they kept saying this to me - I had a fecking awful time but for some reason doing it without painr reliefs got me brownie points. I thought that was weird as for me it just meant it hurt me a lot. nothing good about that is there? Birth is really traumatic for most of us - you need to let it all out and have a good chat about it. But most of all, you need to be gentler on yourself. The hormones are wicked in the first few weeks. Rest and relax and get stronger.

Angelicio where do you find the time for your posting woman? I barely get time to dress myself. Impressive.

Well master midge has jaundice and being weighed constantly which seems such a waste of time as it is always on different scales. And now I am paranoid he isn't getting enough food from me. Have to keep waking him and all a little stressful. Ho hum, this too shall pass. Right best wake him before I pass out myself....

Will catch up from my laptop properly if I ever get time again

Currently posting from the sofa - baby olive won't be put down at all - she even hated her first trip out in the pram and cried continuously. So DH and I are currently taking it in turns to hold her at night. Hoping this is just a phase (she is only 4 days old!) and we can get her settled in the moses basket at some point! But for now I'm trying not to worry and just enjoy the cuddling.
Oh and to add to the glamour of the moment I'm about to get two savoy cabbage leaves from the fridge to put on my ballooning boobs.

yomping - I was genuinely shocked about how I felt the day after I gave birth, my whole body literally ached from head to toe and i could barely walk out of the hospital and that was after a straightforward birth and only 2 stitches so I've no idea how you must feel. I also found the fact I couldn't feel my pelvic floor at all very strange but it seems to be coming back with a bit of exercise! The aching and pain does ease though - I'm just doing very little and trying to rest my body as much as possible.

Thank you all for your nice messages

Feeling a lot better today. Saw a mate yesterday with a 12 week old baby who said she (my mate) cried every day for a month and then it was fine. She gave me lots of tips on colic too, and made me eat cheese and cake (have missed loads of meals recently). Her baby only had a brief spell of persistent crying, a week or so... so I am more hopeful.

Jess was fretful in the evening but we could soothe her. Then she slept ok overnight, in my arms, only waking up for cuddles or feeds every hour or two. I feel like a new woman with a bit of sleep... And am so relieved even if she cries a lot, it was just two nights in a row of 5 hours+ crying... I was envisioning every single night being like that until January. So even if it happens sometiems, just knowing it's not every night makes it seem manageable.

Spent some time cuddling her with just a nappy on and that helped me feel all lovey towards her again. Her little feet!

Had a (strangely early?) post natal check yesterday and told them I was feeling low, but they just said to come back if I needed to. It felt a bit pointless, the walk up there, trying to keep jess soothed in a hot waiting room while they ran late... I don't really have any physical problems (which I'm grateful for). a bit pointless. And I'm only 3 weeks after birth, I don't know why they asked me to come so early.

Also trying to remember am only 23 days post birth and in some cultures they make you stay in bed for a month and all you do is learn to breast feed. So every day I manage anything else is an achievement. I feel better, anyway.

Oh and I tried expressing this morning (with a manual pump someone has lent me) and I managed 3oz while Jess fed on the other side!! That's a start!! The thought of some longer periods to myself, or of sleep, is very lovely.

3oz is fantastic!
Sounds like a bit of a pointless postnatal check to me. Ah well.
My big achievement today is hooverinthe lounge with baby in sling. The carpet is now pleasingly clean but unfortunately my scar is nw reminding me that this was not the brightest thing to do 19 days post section. I am officially a muppet.

olives baby smiley wouldn't be put down initially at all either but after a week or so she started to be happy being out down sometimes. Still definitely prefers to be held but she will sleep for a couple of hours in her Moses basket now.
Congratulations too!

smileyhappy mummy thanks honey. Thank you very much. A lot of mums have said the same to me, that they wanted to put a return stamp on the baby! and then they learned to smile and it was all different... I feel a bit better towards jess this morning though.
Hope your day without DH was ok. What did they say about driving?

crazypaving really sorry to hear you had such a hard time of it with last baby :( Hope it is not so bad with this one. When they start screaming it feels like they will never stop doesn't it... big hugs, take care.

yomping first off, congratulations, and wow, that sounds like a tough birth and a hell of a lot of work. I hope you feel ok about going to the hospital, doesn't sound like baby could have come out any other way! I'm not surprised you feel ruined after 4 hours of pushing. I felt like a car had hit me and it took about a week to feel much but stinging and swelling down below, and I didn't have a logn 2nd stage or the stitches. I had really sore aching arms and shoulders from all the weird positions I was in during labour, spent ages working out why that was...

Things that helped:
lie down when pelvis feels heavy
lavender oil drops on maternity pads
pour water over yourself when you wee (or wee in the bath/shower)
bath as often as you can, I had a bath soak with arnica in, but any of those oils you were collecting would probably be helpful
I found pelvic floor exercises helped, but it was scary that I couldn't feel them for the first few days
rest and eat
cuddle baby

angelico thanks hun. You are right, I get very anxious at the first sign of low mood but I think this is just hormones/sleep. Have been dosing baby squid with infacol and she was actually much better last night. The music/white noise/swaddling works sporadically... mostly she likes being bounced on a gym ball (which is a bit tiring). I don't mind doing anything if it means she doesn't scream though!!
Thank you. for the reassurance. I'm sure it will get better. It's just that you count down for so long ot having baby, it's hard not to feel sad it's not as sweet as you hoped. But i do feel better today, and the cuddles are nice.

midgetm thanks honey. yeah people keep saying i'm doing really well and i'm like, but i feel like DEATH. lots of people hsve told me it's all a lot easier once they start interacting

beccus thank you for the cheerleading... really appreciated.

Wise words, beccus. Thank you.

wantan cripes! Mum drama sounds nasty. We cheerleaders from Team Difficult Mother/MIL are on your side with tea and wine waiting, your choice (or maybe half-time oranges? ;) )

'Stop us putting the baby in a cupboard'... LMAO !

yomping like squid said - pour warm water over your bits while weeing. I kept a 20p plastic jug from asda next to the loo for the first two weeks.

(and don't forget the moistened toilet wipes! They're flushable, too, which baby wiped aren't - very highly recommended!

orange hope you're ok - mothers can be miserable business

yomping hope your bits are improving. Last time teh swelling for me was pretty bad and lasted a while, but I didn't use anything to help except a valley cushion which I hired from the local NCT bod. Try any and all suggestions here, seriously. And dose yourself up on paracetamol/ibuprofen to keep all the pain and swelling at bay. Sounds like your birth was pretty full on, props to you for it all. Also, I second the moist Andrex stuff. And the pouring jug. And Germoloid. Fecking haemorrhoids

olivess another unputdownable baby here - but taht just seems to be the way I make 'em. I blame DH's genes natch

smiley ever the voice of wisdom and reason - squid I didn't want to sound overly gloomy and prophetic - hopefully this is just sleep deprivation and not PND. I can totally remember wanting to return DS1 (never want to return DS2, oh no, never....)

Feeling a bit more upbeat today but probably because DH has a day off today. DS2 is sleep refusing and shouting, it's just possible to manage with 2 people here managing 2 full-on children. When it's just me the ratio is just all wrong.

Have a kilo of dairy milk in the cupboard courtesy of a friend...going to get to work on that (one kilo of lard shortly to arrive in general location of hips/arse. Fab).

Can I ask some quick questions about breastfeeding/expressing ? (Am looking hopefully at you elpis and wantanorange!)

I managed to express 3oz today with a manual pump while jess was feeding. This is now in the fridge. I understand it keeps 5days in the fridge and 6 months in the freezer, is that right? If I express more later, can I add it to the same bottle or should I keep it separate? How much will/should a bf baby take for one feed, would 3oz be enough?

I am always having trouble remembering which breast I fed off last and sometimes just go on which breast feels heaviest, does it matter particularly? Equally does it matter which breast I express from, should I do one at a time or both for every attempt, or does it not matter?

Sorry if these are stupid questions. There may be more...

Oh and I usually just feed off one breast until jess has had enough, should she be feeding off both breasts every time? I'm so confused!

Hi Squid I think the only should is up to your baby. If she's falling asleep and unlatching herself from one breast, then you can assume she's had enough. She'll "ask" if she wants the other one straight away. Following what your baby wants, and letting her lead in this way is the best way to make sure she's getting what she needs and your supply develops to suit her

Always happy to weigh in as Expressing Queen... Sorry not to post earlier when you were feeling down, squidkid - was feeling a bit rubbish myself after an MS symptom flared up and I thought, is this a relapse? But it seems to be abating.

I managed to express 3oz today with a manual pump while jess was feeding. This is now in the fridge. I understand it keeps 5days in the fridge and 6 months in the freezer, is that right? Yes. I recommend labelling them with dates. If I express more later, can I add it to the same bottle or should I keep it separate? Better to keep them separate, but you can mix them when you want to use them. How much will/should a bf baby take for one feed, would 3oz be enough? Bit of a 'how long is a piece of string' question at this stage of their development, but 3oz should certainly satisfy her for a couple of hours, if not longer.

I am always having trouble remembering which breast I fed off last and sometimes just go on which breast feels heaviest, does it matter particularly? Not really. That's how I choose which one to go for. Just try to swap a bit so you don't overwork one breast. Equally does it matter which breast I express from, should I do one at a time or both for every attempt, or does it not matter? Doesn't really matter, but in general I'd express from both if I was away from DD at work, and just one if I was stocking the fridge/freezer, so if she wanted milk soon afterwards I'd always have enough.

Not stupid questions at all! One other thing - DD did not take to the bottle at all willingly. It's a different type of sucking. Some babies have no problems, but she wouldn't accept expressed milk until two days before I returned to work and after I left her with our nanny. Various things can help - heating the milk to body temp (not in the microwave - it kills some of the live antibodies etc) and getting someone else to feed her. Medela have a new teat which is supposed to make the baby stroke rather than suck to get the milk, and I'll try that this time. But don't be too downcast or surprised if Jess initially refuses the bottle. She'll come round.

Thanks Elpis and Badgerina! We'll give it a try. Was not initially planning to express so early but breastfeeding has gone surprisingly easily for me (not painful, good supply, jess latches well, can even do it lying down/asleep!) so thought I'd give it a try. If she doesn't like it I can freeze it for another time. My parents are coming this weekend though so it would be awesome if me and boyfriend could go out alone for a few hours!!

Elpis, am glad symptom was just a brief flare - fingers crossed. Crazypaving - glad you are having a better day - you are a hero - I do NOT know how people do this with a toddler though I will probably find out one day! Let alone twins...

I am thinking lots about the girls still on the antenatal thread - I found being (briefly) overdue so stressful, far more so than this newborn bit even though this is harder - the not knowing if/when it would all kick off was horrible - last week of pregnancy seemed to take twice as long as the rest of the pregnancy combined! Will go and give them some hugs....

Just catching up, ladies. wantan thanks for your reply to my question re which breast to feed on etc! Have since had similar questions to those already answered on here ie how much to express (not tried yet but want to know DD2 can take a bottle- might try this weekend when she's more or less two weeks old)
Someone was talking about Moses basket refusal- I followed angelico's advice and put a hot water bottle in to warm it up plus midwife's advice of breast pads, and it worked! She now stays in for up to two hours at a time which is a distinct improvement.
My milk's obviously just come in as my boobs have gone mental! Really hot and hard with frequent tingling feelings!
Right off to watch Jewish mum of the yearns hilarious programme!