Postgraduate brookers - Brooking No Argument for happy, healthy and sleeping DCs..

[musicalmrs]

New thread time!

Ninja sorry to hear you're suffering. Brooking for your anti-b's to kick inquickly and for you to feel better soon. How's things going apart from that? Is DS enjoying being a big brother?

Scream re the BabyBjorn. If you're just putting A in hers while you have a quick shower every day then what you have already is good enough. I like the BabyBjorn because I needed something that I was going to get more use out of. DD is put in hers a lot if I'm having to do something with DS and I'm happy to leave the room while she's in it. Apart from the fact she's comfy in it, it will supposedly last her until she's 2 years old. Whereas other ones are all up to about 6 months I think, when the baby can tip forward in it. I didn't have a BabyBjorn with DS, just a standard baby chair (Chicco) and I had to stop putting him in it around 5 months old when he learned to tip himself forward in it. I got out the shower one day and found him face down on the floor, strapped in with the chair on top of him. The design of the BabyBjorn doesn't allow that.

Did you get one in the end Dream?

Another baby here who hates tummy time. Probably my fault for not doing it enough I always forget Must try harder.

I hope you all had a great weekend? We've been enjoying some sunshine at last. DS is being taken out by PIL today so just me and DD. Can't decide whether to shop or stay home.

Cross posts Dream. Took me an age to type that last one. Had to stop mid-way for bum wiping, potty emptying and raisin finding.

Should probably point out that DS has not gone out yet! The above post was about him, not myself

Scarlet

Oh and ditto all that stuff about the baby bjorn chair.

As high court judges in tax case transcripts say (if you've ever read any ) 'I have read my learned friend's opinion and have nothing further to add'. although I always took this to mean they hadn't really been paying much attention and couldn't be bothered to write their own judgement

Does anyone else feel sick when their DC goes off in the car with someone else, or is it another one of my irrational fears, or am I just being PFB?
There is no one more careful at driving than my FIL but I spend every minute until DS gets home worrying about car accidents. Seeing his happy little face while he's waving bye to me chokes me up every time.

I think there is something different about watching them drive away compared with leaving then at say pre-school. Can't explain it but it just feels weird to see them being driven away and the little wave and smile out of the car window.

yes Biscuits that's it. I walk away from him at pre-school and I'm as happy as I can be that he's safe. I have to block out these awful thoughts of someone bursting in with weapons otherwise I'd not let him leave the house. But I think because there are so many dangerous drivers on the road a car accident isn't that uncommon. Gah I'm depressing myself now. I need to get DD off the boob and get on with something.

I was once involved in a car accident with a drunk driver who died immediately at the scene. Maybe it's that...

Oh gosh how awful Scarlet . That is 100% bound to make you more worried about these things

I know what you mean though - you know when you hear about these terrible shootings in America - it makes my heart freeze because I just think of leaving ds1 and not being there . As you say though you have to put these thoughts out of your head or else you'd never do anything .

Oh God, I wish you hadn't mentioned shootings! Not just in America - remember the Dunblane Massacre?

Sorry Too I just wrote a paragraph regarding what happened in Dunblane and Wolverhampton but deleted it all. It's just too awful to think about

Sadly as our children grow older and need to become more independent from us there will be lots more things to worry about.

Sorry Too didn't mean to freak you out

Sorry - it's just that last night I was reading tips for settling your baby into nursery and got totally stressed out at the thought of M crying for me . I love that M sleeps in the evenings now in one way, but I find myself sitting in the bedroom alone because you're not meant to leave them asleep unattended, and then I get lonely and start freaking myself out.

Ds1 is in Brazil ATM, no Internet contact and travelling long distances on dodgy roads. I sort of have to forget about him otherwise I would just worry all day:(
I had D weighed today, 9lbs 8ozs so he has put on 3ozs in a week. He is following the 2 nd centile now it seems. Hv talked to me about putting D down awake for daytime naps. She suggested hoovering or turning the radio up loud because 'he won't like it' ( being left). That sounds like controlled crying to me. She said it would help him to realise that I, his milk source, am not always around so he will feed less often! I would like him to go a little longer between feeds but I am not doing that!
Sunny here again:)

Blimey its cheerful on here today

I agree, I hate it when dd goes off in the car with anyone else, and its only ever my mum or my dad, I wouldn't let her go with PIL and the nanny lady once. Terrifying scarlet, no wonder you're worried, thats something that'll stay with you forever. I used to see a child whose entire family were killed around her in a car crash at 10am on a Saturday morning when a drunk driver crossed the central reservation of a bypass that was meant to be 40mph. She was 8 years old, her mum, dad and brothers died and she had a bad head injury, used to be Gifted and Talented, now maybe normal ish with poor memory due to the head injury. Haunts me.

Daily eBay update (less interesting than the pastry one I know)- given up on auction winning seeing as I didnt win even using a sniper (out-sniped!!), taken to e-mailing sellers asking for a BIN price. Got a taker now, so we'll see if he does it and if I get there first- I asked him to text me...

DD has fallen over on the road outside our house and got a huge graze/ egg on her head . Her worst fall to date. Babies won't sleep. I'm knackered and feeling a bit low. It's terrible to say, I love both babies and want them both but I just wish they'd come separately sometimes, a baby and a toddler feels so manageable in comparison (I'm not saying easy, but definitely feels it to me sometimes!!!). I do love having twins sometimes, but atm with mine both being such terrible sleepers too its slog slog slog...

scream I want the BB bouncer chair as I've heard from other twin mums because it folds flat you can put it under the (double, sure it wouldnt a single) buggy and take it out with you so there's somewhere to put one at toddler groups for example. Plus the bounce themselves part, plus the takes a two year old. DD climbing in my old one was what finished it off- it snapped at a hinge. It was on babies 4 & 5 with my dts though.

Good for you wants, sounds like your hv is a bit keen for him to be more 'independent' . Mine says basically accept they're plastered to you until at least 3-4 months!!! Everything I've read says respond to littlies, don't leave them to cry and I don't if I can avoid it. Mine do get left a bit sometimes as its impossible with the two and DD otherwise. makes me but I try my best not to.

too, mine sleep independently as soon as I can get them down!!! I could never get my head round leaving them, I cired visiting a nursery and decided on the spot it wasn't for me. I will send DD at maybe 2.5, I think it'll be fun for her then. If she doesn't settle/ enjoy it, she won't continue. I'm lucky in that we'll have a nanny for the boys (my lady is a bit older though, and really struggling to walk much with sore feet so I'm panicking we'll need someone younger for the boys, she certainly couldn't deal with the 3 of them) but even if I pay a nanny and mothers help to help the nanny or resign from my job I'd have to do it as I couldn't face her crying for me... I will hope she's like her step cousin who runs in and loves it not her other step cousin who's never, ever settled and still cries over a year on

Wants I've heard of putting the Hoover on because the babies like the white noise but not so sure about doing it so I can't here him cry . FWIW I'd be with you on the not leaving them part. Although sometimes with two I have to leave ds2 if say I have ds1 in the bath or something. Or if I know he's crying because he's hungry and I'm sorting something out for ds1 to entertain him while I feed ds2 iyswim. But not sure I could just leave them to cry to sleep .

Too I have to be honest / confess that I leave ds2 to sleep upstairs on his own in the evening until we go to bed . He used to sleep in the living room with us but it was disturbing for him to be move when we went to bed. Ds1 used to sleep through the transfer but ds2 is more like one of those dolls whereby if you ever pick him up when he's asleep he'll wake up. But then the advice when we had ds1 ea just that they sleep in your room and they sort of upped the advice to now say always in the room with you for 6 months so I'm cheating a bit . We do have one of those breathing monitor things though.

It's so hard the nursery settling thing - I hated it when I went back to work. DS1 cried at every drop off and pick up for 6 weeks. He would settle once I'd gone but I used to have to run round the corner singe wouldn't see me crying . And when I came to pick up he'd be happily playing until he saw me and then he'd cry .

I might look for a childminder for ds2 to do some school hours while ds1 is at school or pre school - will have to see how it goes....

Here him cry? That would be hear I think!

M's nursery place is reserved and it did look lovely and the staff were really nice. DH said he would do the drop-off - we'll drive to the nursery together and then I'll get on a bus to work, so he will have more time to go in and chat and stuff. That might help. at the thought, but it's got to be done! Not until next year, though, thank God.

Wants, your HV sounds mean! And it does sound like cc.

:( for everyone who's worrying about their babies (small, or in Wants' case, big! - hope your DS1 is having an amazing time). Thank God accidents and other dreadful things are so very rare - though it's hard to feel like that when we hear so much about them.

DS was weighed again today: only 11lb 11oz at 16 weeks, so continuing to drift down the centiles (but more gradually). HV advised expressing a couple of times during the day and using that to top up his last feed in the evening. I asked about offering both sides during a feed and she seemed surprised that I didn't already, so I'll definitely start that. (My mum will be delighted - she always fed us on both sides apparently and couldn't understand why I wasn't!) I'm a bit :( about the expressing cos that's sort of the worst of both worlds, isn't it? Having to spend time pumping and faff with sterilising etc. But she did point out that it would help to increase my supply so I guess it's good. Though I hope it doesn't lead to leaky boobs cos I've mercifully escaped that so far!

The HV is coming back in 3 weeks to weigh him again. She said if the extra top-ups didn't make a difference then he's probably just destined to be a small baby. But she also said we could then talk about early weaning. DH will be delighted as he's raring to get going with mealtimes. I'm only holding him off by saying that the baby has to be able to sit up by themselves, and DS isn't yet.

The only time I have to leave DS crying is in the car, if I know he's not hungry but just wants a cuddle (?) or something. Then I have to turn the radio up loud or I couldn't bear it. Funnily enough he often stops crying then. I'd stick to your guns, Wants - D will learn to settle soon enough like Scream's A.

Oh, and I also must confess that DS goes to bed upstairs with the monitor on for every nap, including bedtime an hour or more before we come up! I started that when he was about 6 weeks old. I didn't realise the advice about sleeping in our room meant anywhere we were. And we don't have a breathing monitor - just a video one. But he's going to go into his own room anyway once he outgrows the Moses basket cos we can't fit his cotbed in our bedroom. I will really miss having him next to me... :(

It's one of those things Dream that you just don't know what they'll be like until you try it. DS luckily has always been one of the ones that barely gives me a second glance one he arrives at pre-school. He loves it. But his cousin who goes to the same pre-school and has been going for longer than DS still cries every time she's dropped off. She does enjoy it once she gets stuck in though. I think some of them just think that they're missing out on something exciting at home, not necessarily that they want to be with Mummy iyswim. Are you thinking of going back to work? I thought you'd more or less accepted that you'd be staying at home?

That poor little girl. How absolutely tragic. Drink driving is absolutely disgusting to me. Thankfully in my situation it was only himself that he killed. I don't mean that flippantly, obviously it's devasting that he died but it so easily could have been me as well. Mine was the only other car involved and I was very nearly taken out, but amazingly managed to escape with only a smashed windscreen and a bit of a mess on my bonnet. As I was the only witness to the actual crash and the first to get to him I was put on a witness stand at the inquest and had to go through the whole horrible incident in front of his family. They deserved better. Such a waste for the sake of a few pints. 9 actually .

wants how long has DS1 gone for? I bet he's having a fantastic time. What an experience for him. I can imagine very worrying for you though. That's just it though isn't it. We have to let them do these things, the memories he's making are for life and no doubt it's a life-changing experience for someone his age.

Too have you got a monitor with a sensor pad? They're brilliant. It flashes and makes a little "pip" noise to show it's detected movement. It's so sensitive to be able to detect a baby's breathing from underneath a mattress. DD is now asleep upstairs and I can hear the little pip pip pip on the monitor so I know she's fine. I've pegged out 3 loads of washing, had lunch, hoovered and tidied up without even checking her. We had one for DS too, and so far no false alarms so I can recommend.

That's the sort ofonitor we have Scarlet - I love t. We have one upstairs and one downstairs.

That sounds awful awful awful with the crash. You poor poor thing - what a harrowing experience - and as you say such a waste.

God, M is crotchety today! I need to hoover the whole house, mop the kitchen and bathroom floors and put away a huge pile of clean washing before my family descends tomorrow and so far I've got nowhere because M doesn't want to lie on her mat/in her pram or sleep anywhere except on me. Lots of feeding going on, too. Growth spurt? 19+3 - is there a growth spurt around now? I wanted to have an early night tonight because it's going to be a busy week, but at this rate I'm going to be cleaning all evening.

Pet and Biscuits, I only have a bog-standard noise monitor, which we have never used once. It hasn't been necessary until now. Am of the fancy ones! M will have to go in her own room when she outgrows her Moses basket too. So far so good, though - luckily it is a giant 1960s basket. Vintage, darling! It's bigger than the pram carrycot.

Pet, I didn't sterilise anything when I was expressing and topping up, and that was when M was a week old! My boob isn't sterile, so it seemed a bit pointless. I was syringe feeding and I would slosh boiling water over the syringe and skoosh it in and out a bit. We never got any further than line 1 of the steriliser instructions, which said first, wash everything. This is only my opinion so feel free to ignore it, but surely you could get the same effect by offering the boob more frequently, rather than expressing? If you encouraged him to feed every 2 hours during the day, say. Will you be bottle or syringe feeding the top-ups?