Postgraduate brookers - Brooking No Argument for happy, healthy and sleeping DCs..

[musicalmrs]

New thread time!

Scream Sounds like you've had a lot to think about. I hope you're able to resolve things. I guess you'll still be spending time with DH as he'll be wanting to see little A and you have your holiday together too. It must have been very upsetting for you both to make this decision. Maybe some time away from the day to day grind will help. Couples counselling after a baby sounds like a good idea for anyone tbh, I think it's very hard to empathise with each other when you're exhausted even when you're both in it together. It's like the whole fight or flight for survival.

Too M's naming party sounded fabulous. I bet it feels like a relief to be over though? I get very stressed organising such things. I've been waiting for weeks for our church to get back to me with a date for DD's baptism. I chased them last week and was told "more than likely September". Hello! It nearly is September! I could really do with knowing what date if that is the case! Well done on getting M in her own room. Good luck for another good night tonight.

Too sounds like it all went v v smoothly - well done you .

Is it customary to have a toast at christenings / naming ceremonies and the like? I only ask because I'm sorting DS2's Christening at the mo and my mum mentioned a toast and now you've mentioned one and I don't know whether I'm supposed to do one or not? I can't remember what we did for DS1's

What do people think? We've hired a village hall and can either serve alcohol or not (but have to pay an extra bond if we want to). I was planning not to do general alcohol (as it makes it ££££ and we're broke!). And it is only a few hours on a Sunday afternoon and lots of people will have to drive. In fact no one lives close enough to walk to the hall, not even us!

So my questions are these: 1 yes or no to beer / wine in general? Would you expect it? And 2 yes or no to a toast?

I don't mind paying the bond I suppose as it is refundable. Hopefully they just have a cheque and don't cash it?

Scarlet I would be stressing a bit if they hadn't told me a date yet . Ours isn't until October and we've known the date for weeks! I'm just waiting for confirmation on the village hall thing but then I still need to get invites printed, sent out, time for people to RSVP, sort out food etc - Gah!! I'm regretting inviting so many folks to DS1's as I think they might feel slighted if we didn't invite them again so that's a lot of people that are for example our parents' friends.

Oh I'm rambling .....

Oh, and to factor in, DH the tightwad has actually suggested not bothering with the party bit (just having the church bit) because he is so keen not to spend the money . I told him it wasn't fair to have had one for DS1 and not for ds2? So needles to say he wants to do the cheapest thing possible. I'm trying to find a balance between having a nice time and not spending a fortune on it. After all DS1's party is the month before and I need to make sure there is money left by the time my birthday November comes

Biscuits DH did a little speech and a toast for DS. DD's will also be done on the cheap compared to DS's. We did keep the numbers down for DS and only invited close relatives (apart from Godparents who are friends) and booked a restaurant for lunch afterwards. We paid for everyone's meal and the first round of drinks. We can't afford anything like that this time so we may end up knocking a couple of aunts and uncles off the list and upset PIL who we rarely see anymore just to keep the numbers down as this time we will have to have it at our house. I will also state on the invite "back to ours for light refreshments" so that it's clear it will just be sandwiches, crisps a slice of cake and a cup of tea. I can't be doing with making a huge buffet and having everyone hang around all day [miserable cow emotion].

TBH I'd be quite happy to just have the actual church bit and not bother with afterwards, but some relatives will have travelled a couple of hours to get here for it so I can't be that mean . Plus it is nice to have the toast.

I like the wording of 'light refreshments' - that describes it well I think. See both sets of parents will want their various freinds there (and we do know them quite well and they are all lovely) but then I think well hang it, if I'm paying for it we might as well have our pals there too..... Still if I've said light refreshments the incremental costs for extras isn't too bad so should be ok

And yes now I think about it I think DH said a bit when we cut the cake. Whether people had a drink or not I can't remember but there was a bar where we had it last time.

So I think maybe the toast would be nice.

That all sounds ok I think.....

Aloha! Sorry for the absence, rl got in the way and such.
scream I've not really got more to add to what everyone else has said. Babies are hard work, especially first ones as its such a huge change for everyone. You sound like you have a plan that you are both on board with which is great.
too glad the party went well, sounds lovely. Am I the only one not christening/ baptising/ doing a naming ceremony? We are totally non religious and ds never had one either. Mind you I really don't think we have the cash either way.
dream sorry the wedding didn't go well. I'm impressed you actually managed to be organised enough to make it!
Not much going on here, ds still playing up a little bit (he coloured in the lounge rug with crayon and wrote on his wall yesterday) but generally much happier. Off to buy school uniform today as didn't manage it the other day.Looks like we can move into the new house at the beginning of october if all goes to plan. Better start ebaying all my crap so I don't have to take it with me! I got told the fees for putting dd into the nursery ds was at for 3 days a week - wait for it £825 a month. And its likely to go up before she starts. And its more than my monthly paycheque. Think we'll be looking at a childminder for the first year at least. Mind you she'll start school a full year before ds did as she's july born and he's october born. That should save a few thousands......
right dd is stirring, off to make up a feed x

scream that sounds like it was a hard decision but i hope it all works out soon.
can we have another seminar called 'how not to wake the baby when your wife has just got him to sleep for a wee nap at the same time as his brother'? back to sleep again so trying to sort washing out.

also trying to get serious with the toilet training this week. he had pants on from just after breakfast all the way through lunch till his nap today. only one tiny accident. apart from when he tried to shuffle across the floor on a full potty and sloshed wee on to the floor. I'd already told him to sit still while i sorted DS2 out so i lost it a bit. i got him to sit and wait while i cleaned it up (tip from biscuits )

hopefully get the pants on again after nap time. we're meant to be going out on Wednesday morning, but I'm probably going to take him in a nappy as he's only practised naked or with pants on so far.

no ninja our boys aren't being christened either. I'm a tiny bit :( about it, but seeing as DH has never been a churchgoer and i stopped when i left home it seemed wrong. also didn't fancy a naming thing instead.

that sounds good with light refreshments biscuits, at least it will be simpler and cheaper!

Ninja and others using formula. What procedure do you use for making up feeds? Ready made or powder? How do go about doing the bottles? The rules sound so complicated .

Glad DS is being a bit better Ninja - hope or all goes well when he states at school. And at the nursery fees - ouch!!

Sounds like the potty training is going well Jaggy

tis actually vair easy biscuits. My steriliser will do 6 bottles at a time which is enough for a day. I keep a bottle of cooled boiled water in the fridge. You should use same amount of scoops as ozs of water (put water in first then powder). DD is currently on about 6oz per feed. I do 2 oz boiled hot water & 6 scoops powder, shake up to dissolve powder, then add 4oz from cold bottle of boiled water in the fridge, swirl so there are no hotspots and it is usually about drinking temp straight away. If its too hot just sit it in a bowl of cold water for a couple of minutes. I use ready made when we are out and at night cos at 3 in the morning i want an easy life and i'm lazy. I hope that makes sense?

well done to your ds on the potty training jaggy

Ah the sounds simple enough Ninja .

With ds1 we used to boil the water in the morning, fill the bottles and seal them, then put the powder in when we needed it but then effectively we weren't making it with hot water (which is frowned upon these days since they invented bacteria). Never bothered warming them because DS would drink it at room temp. But I like the idea of cooled boiled water in the fridge so you can make it in boiled water like you described.

Next question, how long in advance of a feed can you make it? Or if you weren't going to use it immediately (say if you were going out) would you just use ready made?

go with ready made if you're going out/ it won't be drunk within 2 hours. i do sometimes make one up to take out but only if i know it'll get drunk in time. apparently you can now get litre bottles of ready made as well as the cartons too. not tried them though.

Biscuits for starters I've been using Cow and Gate powder. It is Aptamil and it's £1.50 a box cheaper. Check it out next time you're at the shop. It's the same box (only a different colour) it has the same phone number and address, it is made in the same factory and the ingredients list is exactly the same. I think some of the ingredients are listed in a very slightly different order at the bottom of the list. Apparently Danone keep them marketed as 2 different brands as the difference in cost appeals to different markets

Anyway, I mostly use the powder but I keep a couple of cartons in the house (not really sure why as I have the boob still so never really have an emergency). I boil the kettle in the morning and transfer the boiled water to a thermos so I've always got the boiled water available. Saves boiling the kettle and then waiting 30 minutes each time. But yes, the feeds are made fresh each time. If out I take the thermos with me along with a sterilised bottle and the powder pre-measured in a small sterilised container. DD still only has 2 or 3 bottles a day, the rest is from the boob so it's not too much of a faff.

biscuits when I do top up bottles for D I just make it up in the morning with hot water and put it in the fridge. They last up to 24 hours.it would be ok out of the fridge for a while if it was put in an insulated bag I think.

Sorry things aren't great for you and DH ATM scream I hope counselling helps.

We were meant to be having fascias, soffits and guttering fitted to the extension today but when they arrived at stupid o'clock this morning, they reversed their van into the side of our house! They caused a bit of damage to the existing fascia and down pipe which they had to fix so they won't start the original job until tomorrow. Grrr! We paid for quality and they sent the chuckle brothers:(

Yes I've seen those litre bottles. Think they're quite new? I wonder though if you poured a bottle from one of those you'd still be limited as to how long you could keep it before using it? I guess 1 bottle = 5 ish feeds so if you were out for a mega day they'd be good?

Oh and I have another question. If I'm using aptamil alongside DS being weaned should I be using 1, 2 (hungry baby) or 3?

It's so flipping complicated!

Cross posts with Ninja. It took me an age to type all that out as I kept getting distracted with DD. She's just rolled from back to front for the first time. Off the changing mat. Time to start tidying DS's Lego off the floor I think.

I mentioned the Aptamil/Cow and Gate thing Biscuits because I remember you mentioning you'd be using Aptamil.

Wow about the C&G thing!! What a cheek by Danone

So Scarlet your water is in the thermos so is warm but not boiling when you make it up? I don't even think I have a thermos......

Ah well doe Scarlet's DD - good rolling action!

All of a sudden all that theoretical 'we mustn't leave stuff on the floor to DS1' isn't so theoretical is it!

It's too hot for DD to drink so I then cool it by placing the bottle in a jug of cold water. Only takes a couple of mins. I ended up getting one of those Tommee Tippee thermos's as they're quite handy for out and about. The water is kept at the 70 degrees required for mixing the formula and you can use the case part that goes over it as the cold water container. I just ask for cold water from behind a counter in a cafe or get it from a sink in the toilets. It's only used to cool the bottle.

With DS I'd fill the bottles with water each morning and place in the fridge. Then I'd add the powder when needed and zap in the microwave. I daren't do that with DD after reading about the bacteria even though it would probably be ok. Ninja's way sounds easy too, especially if at home.

I used Aptamil for DS, then a friend told me about the C&G thing so I checked it out. Aptamil supposedly appeals to those who think it's the most expensive so it must be the best and Cow and Gate supposedly appeals to those on a tighter budget. Same stuff. I'd stick to number 1 Biscuits. It's fine to use up to 12 months.

Wants about the chuckle brothers. I bet they felt stupid!

Thanks for the kind words everyone. I've survived The Talk with my Mum, she's not convinced time apart is helpful or necessary but she thinks the counselling will be useful and ultimately she's happy to have us stay as long as we want. (There were some thinly veiled comments regarding bringing up her GC in a one parent home, but I managed to reassure her we have no intention of splitting.)

Congrats on the naming ceremony Too it sounds like it went brilliantly! You've inspired me to get on with organising little A's one. Any tips for entertaining the adults, or did you just provide food and let them mingle amongst themselves?

Scarlet I've got a ton of Aptamil for our CA road trip, and I picked it because it's supposed to be the closest to bm I think? That's what I've read on various forums - so it must be true Supposedly, although it's made in the same factory as C&G (which you would expect given it's the same manufacturer) it's a different recipe/mix of ingredients. Danone claim the ingredients are of higher quality (). The most compelling argument for me was that several Mums who've tried both say C&G looks and tastes thicker and less sweet. Aptamil is runnier and sweeter - closer to bm. Either way, for such a small difference in price I just went with Aptamil. In the end all that matters is that your DC likes it of course! Babies can thrive on any brand.

Oh and the stage 3 milk has more iron than stage 1. Stage 1 is fine until 12 months of course, but if you're buying formula anyway I'd be more inclined to get the one with extra iron. Your DC's initial iron stores are running low at 6 mths+, and they won't be eating a proper balanced diet at first while weaning. It's not essential of course, but unless there's a huge price difference you might as well get the age-appropriate milk imo.

Thanks to everyone for all the formula prep tips! I was dreading it but you've made it sound really simple

I'd agree with stage 3 - when I've finished the stage 1 cartons I rather hopefully brought for A I will start buying 3's. I used c&g for dd1 as aptimil made her windy but am thinking of trying HIPP for dd2 due to what I believe to be a mild dairy allergy (not sure where the logic is there really having written it down).

I thought babies weren't supposed to have too much iron, though? I know their iron levels are running low by 6 months, but then they start eating broccoli and meat and things so it builds back up. I'm sure I read somewhere that the level of iron in things like follow-on milk is actually too high.

From KellyMom: MYTH: Baby needs to start solids because there is not enough iron in breastmilk.

An additional reason given for starting solids is the ?lack of iron in breastmilk.? Breastmilk does have lower iron levels than formula, but the iron in breastmilk is more readily absorbed by the baby?s gut than the iron in formula. Also, formula-fed babies tend to lose iron through fissures that develop in their intestines as a result of damage from cow?s milk. Breastfed babies do not lose this iron. Sometime after the first 6 months (much later for a lot of babies), most babies will require an additional source of iron other than mother?s milk. This can most often be obtained through small amounts of solid food. Read more on iron and the breastfed baby here: Is Iron Supplementation Necessary?.

re the iron. I went from 1st infant milk up to follow on milk with DS because of the iron and thinking that must be a positive (I didn't know any different then). I remember the HV advising me it wasn't necessary but I did anyway because that's what everyone else seemed to do. I remember though Purple saying recently that follow on milk wasn't necessary because of the iron levels being too high in it and that it was only created as a get around for advertising for formula companies as they're not allowed to advertise 1st stage milk. Hence me saying to Biscuits to stick to 1st. I remember follow on milk stinks and is much frothier than first stage.

As DD is no longer EBF and is mixed fed I don't know if that changes anything re the amount of iron she needs

Scream that's interesting re the Cow and Gate vs Aptamil. I guess the ingredients could be a higher quality (the list is the same but I guess there could be a different recipe with amounts of each one ). I tried DS on Aptamil, Cow and Gate and SMA and stuck to Aptamil with him because the HV advised it but wouldn't/couldn't say why . The only one of those 3 we had any problems with was SMA. It was soooo thick and clearly a different consistency to the other 2 and it made DS constipated . I know a few other people who had that problem when they tried their DC on it. I can't tell any difference personally between C&G and Aptamil but obviously I'm no expert. While DD's been fine on C&G and has still been having mostly BM anyway you've got me thinking now that maybe I should switch back to Aptamil...then that goes back to the marketing thing, I can afford to pay more so I will if they tell me it's higher quality ingredients and It's not much difference in price for how often you buy it (although I suppose it could be for some people) so maybe it's best to be on the safe side.

I definitely won't get sucked into buying toddler milk at 12 months. That is full of sugar. I started DS on it when he turned one then saw how much sugar was in it and then had to mix his bottles with cows milk gradually increasing the amount of cows milk to formula each week to wean him off the formula as he refused a straight swap. I won't be making that mistake again. He drinks loads of milk these days and I still give him full fat.

Scream glad it went okish with your mum.