Postgraduate brookers - Brooking No Argument for happy, healthy and sleeping DCs..

[musicalmrs]

New thread time!

I've only ever used the Lansinoh ones and not had a leak. not that I've actually expressed a drop this time...pump now ready but either we're too busy or DS2 is so hungry i can't get time to do it in between feeds!

my pump is a medela and it's been fine so far...

i expressed for about the first 2 bowls of porridge for DS1, then i thought bugger this and used cow's milk as he was 6 months anyway. i find expressing a bit of a chore too.

Ditto your first point about the bags - we never had a leak (although my incompetence caused a few spillages ). Also too busy / unpredictable feeding to express this time. Haven't bothered trying a bottle with ds2 (we did with ds1 and he never took it) but I will try him with formula in a cup once we get into weaning.

Was going to say something else.... Hold on ......

Oh yes - that was broadly my thought process with the expressing for porridge / weetabix etc last time. Did it a few time and thought bugger this! Although I didn't realise (maybe the guidance was different?) with ds1 that you could use cows milk for cooking from 6 mths? Like the sound of that. Especially since we always have full fat milk in anyway for ds1.

Incidentally have you ever tried cleaning weetabix-with-formula off of anything. It is like actual glue

DS1 has had cow's milk on all his cereal since then. it was enough effort expressing for being at work without extra.

i must have expressed pints of milk at work if i did 2 bottles a day of 4-5oz for at least a month, then one a day for another few months. never thought of that! it works much better if you do it every day, always found it hard after a week off.

slightly concerned that DS2 will hate bottles! he will be a bit older than DS1 was and started solid food when i go back i guess.

When do you go back Jaggy?

I'm planning to skip bottles now and go straight for these like we did with ds1. We used to make to formula in a bottle if we were using powder to get the amounts right but then tip it into a cup. We had a bit of bother getting him started (but would have had that with a bottle too) and then never had to bother getting him off a bottle.

Btw, mega hats off to you Jaggy for doing all that expressing when you were at work

Biscuits look at this

That is quite cheap Jen but I do find it slightly off putting when one is described as 'slightly stained nappy and wrap'

I suspect we'll just stick with our disposables as I think if I was going to do it, I'd want to buy new and we really haven't got all that much cash to splash in one go at the mo, especially I'd I ended up trying different sorts. DH was a bit when we talked about it last night too.

The stains do come out in sunlight, honest! I was amazed how well it works even here in Cornwall where it's hardly ever sunny. DH was hesitant at first but is now quite happy using them. Each to their own of course

Ditto the sun stain remover. I have a line full of nappies, wraps, liners and wipes drying in the sun today! DH is happy to use them too and showing them to friends We are researching again ATM as most of our nappies are gnappies which are sized and we need to decide whether to upsize or get more of the AIOs.
DHs manager is coming over for coffee later so he is madly hoovering and tidying while I am feeding, one of the perks of bf!

Have been looking at reuseable nappies again today. Was just wondering if any of you who have used them, whether you put anything in the wash apart from non-bio wash powder/liquid? Have seen reccomendations of a sanitising agent, but as the whole reason to look at reuseables is reduce cost trying to decide if its really necessary?

No, just non bio powder here on a 40 wash. We will do a 90 every so often which should do the same job

i am so too lazy to do reusables. i am continually shocked at the amount of nappies DS2 gets through.

back in November biscuits. think it will be hardest for DS1 to be honest, after having me around for months. also for DH having to get used to two! he always found my non shift weeks the hardest, as he didn't have me to help in the morning or afternoon.

the hardest thing for me about expressing was coming home and having to wash bottles and pump and make sure milk was all ready for DH the next day. i think i normally wanted to collapse to bed. i do remember if I'd had a busy late shift, i sometimes waited to express when i got home and sat with my feet up and a beer instead DS1 must have been sleeping quite well by then.

i partly did it to make it easier for DH, he didn't have to make up bottles, or get a baby used to different milk. we used bottles till about 11 months then changed to cups for DS1. it was quite nice for DH to snuggle him with a bottle when he was smaller.

I'm still alive, honest... Three days of visiting family (DH has had some days off), so it has all been a tad mad!

On the reusable nappy front.. I love ours! I don't have a posh bucket like you Jen, just one from Asda or Tesco - but it does the job. I only have 12 nappies though, so really could do with some more. The Bitti Tuttos outers can sometimes be used for a couple of uses though, which is handy.. they can also cope with Iz through the night, hurrah!

Iz seems to be up and down with her teething, really suffering some days and struggling others. Am finding the Nelson's teething powder very useful though! She's also struggling with the heat- today she insists on eating all the time, yet then complains that she's too hot because she's attached to me. Hmm..

Expressing wise, I had a Avent hand pump, but didn't get on with it very well. So I bought a mini Medela one - which I love. I have a KIT day coming up, so have been building up a supply in the freezer to ensure DH has enough to feed Iz. We also bought her an Antilop this weekend! A little soon, but we had some free time so thought we could brave Ikea...

Finding myself stressed out about work quite a bit here. I had originally planned to go back in Jan, when Iz was 7 months. However, DH doesn't want to leave her with anyone else that soon, and says I should go back in April (11 months, and after my mat leave has fully run its course - but I won't be paid Jan to April). I don't think he wants me to go back at all really. However I can't make enough from the freelancey bits in evenings I don't think. I might be able to with some teaching, but I'm not sure. When are the other working Brookers returning? The other difficult thing is that it's an hour's commute each way.

Looked at a nursery the other day for Iz, for a potential Jan return to work - perfectly nice, but insisted on half fees during holidays to reserve places. As a peri teacher I don't get paid when I don't work, so can't afford to do that. Do childminders often have similar policies? Seeing one tomorrow.. if they do, then I might have to find an entirely different solution. Wibble. This is like a cloud hanging over me at the moment :( Which is ridiculous as I don't have to go back until Jan at the earliest, and I could probably get away with telling them about changing my plans in October. I do have a keeping in touch day coming up, but it's a training day that should be lovely and fun - and I'm looking forward to seeing some people I've really missed!

On the plus side, Iz has moved up to 3-6 month dresses so has a gorgeous new wardrobe of bits and bobs to pick from . And she's slept through the night three times recently, plus another time where DH bounced her back to sleep without her needing food from me! Hurrah. Sadly I've slept completely rubbishly on each of those nights. I'm also aware that she's only three months old, so the four month regression beckons... so I'll try and catch up on my Zs now so I'm ready for the next onslaught!

musical - I went back with dd1 at seven months but just for one day a week. I then increased it to 2 at ten months. I will be doing the same with dd2.

It was fine actually - one day a week really didnt make a massive difference either way. It's like easing yourself back in :)

Just make sure you are totally happy with child care choice.

I am going back in Feb and DH is going to take 3 months off to look after D ( he gets a brill paternity package) this means that D won't have to go to the childminders until after his 1st birthday and then only term time. I was a sahm until ds1 and 2 went to school so not looking forward to having to leave D but needs must and all that!

DS2 will be nearly 7 months when i go back. it's not what I'd want, but seeing as DH is at home i can just about bear it! it would be much more convenient to have my boobs at home.

just tried DS2 with his first bottle of ebm. it wasn't a complete disaster, but the poor wee guy was a bit puzzled. his tongue and the bottle kept popping out. he wouldn't really take any from DH and he's too impatient so i ended up walking around with him drinking. also tried the latch him on then cunningly try to swap for bottle. in the end he had about half of the 2oz.

my pump seems to still be working fine. got 1.5oz from one side then only 0.5 from the other cos DH was getting impatient with wriggly baby so i stopped.
man it's so much effort!

oh I'll be back doing full time shift work straight away. :( shifts do mean i can do morning and afternoon things with the boys, but i do miss quite a few bed times.

DS2 is 4 months this week. I've definitely noticed he's been feeding more during the day, but nights not much worse yet. he'd only ever slept for about 5 hours in a row though!

My current plan is to go back to work in April when DD is 1 (she'll be in nursery 3 days a week, my Mum will look after her on Mondays and DH will do Fridays). I'm hoping that with some dedicated Rat Smacking I might also be able to get pg again in April. If the universe is uncharacteristically obliging and I actually get pg in my ideal month, that will allow me to back-to-back my holiday entitlement from two annual leave years, resulting in my second mat leave starting in pg week 15! So I'd only be back at work from mid-April to beginning of Aug

Bit of a fraught weekend over here. DD has had a lovely time at least, lots of time spent with family and she's been super happy and chatty despite the heat. We took our ridiculously cheap blow-up paddling pool with us to my uncle's BBQ today, and she loved it! She had a great time splashing all of my various relatives who came over to play with her!

It's been a slightly more serious weekend for DH and I, with me finally asking my Mum if I can stay in her annexe for a few weeks. My parents rent out a self-contained flat which is an annexe to their house. The current tenant is due to leave at the start of Sept.

It's not that DH and I are splitting, we just really need some breathing room. We both want to stop the cycle of constant arguing. So DD and I will be staying with my parents for a little while, and we're looking into getting some counselling. Our main goal is to find a way to negotiate without everything degenerating into a big fight! We're still looking forward to our hol though, and we're going to sell our house while I'm at my parents' house, so when things have calmed down we can buy a new place chain-free.

It just feels like such a massive step because it's the first time we've admitted we're having problems to anyone. (We're only telling my parents though, no one else). My parents LOVE DH as well, so I know my Mum is waiting to catch me alone for a BIG TALK about how I need to learn to compromise!

I know it's crazy to be talking about pg no.2 and buying a house when we're not getting on well. We're really not intending to split up though, we're both totally anti-divorce except in extreme circumstances, and we still love each other. We're both committed to figuring out how to stop all the arguing and then getting on with our lives!

Sorry for the really long off-topic post. We're not telling anyone in RL what's going on, so I haven't been able to vent with any of my friends. I promise not to go on and on about this anymore!

Aw, Jaggy, going back to work full time in November sounds tough. At least you'll have DH at home rather than a childminder or nursery.

Musical I hope you get work arrangements sorted soon so you can stop worrying. Let me know if you find anyone who will be flexible about significantly reducing holiday fees - I'm a teacher and although I am paid during the holidays, I'd still rather not pay someone else for childcare I don't need. But I assumed a half fee retainer was probably the going rate. I really need to start looking at local nurseries and childminders myself. I was originally planning to go back after Christmas but now I'm thinking of staying off till February half term! (DS will be nearly 11 months old then.) Just don't want to go back at all, really, to be honest. I need to think about whether I should request part time, too. I'd like 3 days a week but it would be a big cut in wages. Hmmmm.

Thanks Biscuits and others for the pumping advice. I have been pumping 2 measly oz every night after DS is in bed to try to cut down on the amount of formula he's getting but won't waste it on baby rice if you all agree it's more sensible to use easier milk sources! I fear I'm still not quite reconciled to the introduction of formula. Still wish I knew why DS didn't gain enough when ebf. Oh well. Pass the wet fish, please, someone - I need a good slap!

Btw am feeding at 5am because the bloody cat meowed so persistently to be let out that he woke the baby. Next time I think DH had better let him out the first time he asks...

X-post, Scream. Sorry to hear how tough things have been. Your plans sound very sensible and positive though. I hope you and DH find the breathing space does the trick!

pet - nurseries attached to schools only run term time and the one here takes babies too? Might be worth looking at local school nurseries?

scream - sorry to hear that. Admitting that to your parents is a massive step and hopefully some space will help everyone. Having a baby is such a massive adjustment - took dh and I ages and ages. Much better second time round though to encourage you! Vent away on here, you've listened to my sweary and stroppy tales of woe for months now!

Scream I'm sure a bit of space will be just what you and DH need to get back on an even keel. It's great that you have a plan and are sorting out some counselling etc and as Pomme says we're for on-tap hand holding. It is such a massive adjustment having a baby etc and I think it's really positive that you can both acknowledge that some counselling and space will help as opposed to burying your heads in the sand and hoping things will just get better by themselves.

Oh, and good luck for The Talk with your Mum .

Pet and whoever else was saying about childminders. I didn't realise that about half fees during the summer. I'd have thought that there were plenty of childminders who would be glad not to work during the hols because they'd have heir own children to look after. But I didn't know it was customary to still charge.
Mind you, I suppose half fees is better than paying for a nursery place you're not using at 100% of the cost! A friend of mine is a teacher and is looking at a childminder rather than nursery because apart from the holiday thing, they can also be more flexible re the hours so she can just pay for the hours she needs rather than paying 7:30-6:00.

Also Pet on the milk thing if you're already expressing for drink purposes you might find you have enough to use for food too? I'm not expressing anything for ds2 to drink so it would be a whole new extra job for me to do (hence my reluctance to pump at all). Remind me how old
DS is? I think you can use cow's milk from 6 mths in food etc just not as the main drink?

Hello everyone! Have had a manic weekend, but it was great fun.

Scream, so sorry to hear that you and DH are having problems. At least it sounds like this is only temporary and you just need a bit of time to get over this hurdle. Hope the counselling helps.

Nurseries/return to work, Musical and Pet: I'm going back to work in Jan, when M will be 10 months. DH and I will both be doing compressed hours (ie, 8-5.30), I'll have Fridays off and he'll have Mondays. M will go to nursery for the other 3 days of the week, and yes, we have to pay for the place for 50 weeks of the year. That's standard around here, though - in fact, many nurseries only officially close in the Christmas week so you have to pay for 51 weeks.

Expressing: Last night I went to my sister's book launch, so left M with DH and a bottle of expressed milk. M was in bed asleep when I left. The expressing took me a few goes during the day to get enough, but once I got the milk flowing it was much easier. I did get milk all over myself, though - it leaks out the front of the stupid shells (Tommee Tippee hand pump). DH said she wasn't very keen on the bottle at first, but then he hadn't heated it up. He tried her again and squeezed the bottle to get her started and she took maybe 2 oz. Then she refused to go back to sleep for him. She wasn't wailing, just very, very wide awake and wanting to be played with. I am not at all slightly evilly pleased that she gave him a hard time When I got home she wanted fed immediately and then fell asleep, like a wee cherub.

The naming party was great - M was angelic. The party was in the village hall and we got the key at 12 to set up for the party starting at 2. M obligingly slept from about 10.15 to nearly 1, so she was really well-rested and happy - it was perfect. Plus I couldn't leave her and go to the hall to help, so by the time I got there DH, PIL, BIL, my friends and sister had pretty much done everything. I wandered around lighting tea-lights and filling vases with water while Grandma played with M. We had heaps of flowers (all different colours) - some in jam jars on the tables and some in tall vases, and tea-lights in different shades of pink, and yellow polka dot paper tablecloths from Tesco and so much food and drink we've been living off it ever since. The kids had crafty stuff - we bought a 1000 piece craft set with playdough, pipe cleaners, straws, pom poms, glue and stuff in it - and we took down DH's Scalectrix and the keyboard and lots of balloons. We let everyone come in and eat before I did my toast - I thought it would go down better if everyone was fed and watered! M wore a christening gown and a little lace headband with purple flowers on it and she looked so adorable. At the toast, we gave everyone a glass of prosecco and then DH, M and I stood next to the christening cake and I thanked everyone for coming, and for helping, and for supporting us through the last year and a half, and asked them to raise their glasses to DD1. Then I talked a bit about M's name, what it means and the fact that her middle name is after MIL and Granny, and wound up by asking them to raise their glasses to M. Then we changed M into her Monsoon dress and took more photos. I had a great time and M was so good.

We got some great presents for her - she likes her Jumperoo now, and she's got a baby walker too, so she's all set for learning to walk! She can move her baby walker a bit - it's hard on the carpet and her toes only just touch the ground atm, but she was moving it. I rolled the rug up and she's just spent half a hour moving backwards and sideways, which seems to be easier for her than gong forwards at present. She's now in her Jumperoo bouncing (on a book, because her feet don't touch the ground in that yet at all).

Also (I know this is a giant essay!), we moved her into her own room last night and into her cot! I lent the Moses basket to a friend of mine whose first baby is due in Nov, so we had no choice. Once I got M to sleep last night (at about 1am), she only woke up once, at 3, and I was back in bed at 3.11 and she didn't wake up again until 7.30! I heard her cooing to herself at 7ish but she didn't start yelling so I went back to sleep. Result!