December 2011: Of Mice, Men and Tables

[NorthernChinchilla]

Here we go...I hope!

Oh and Xiao a lot of my friends with the same job as you have also been refused flexible working requests. One asked to work from home on a friday every other week and only if no meetings were scheduled that day and she was refused! It is so ridiculous. Have you thought of any part time options eg PSL? I guess there aren't too many options around at the moment though.

Quick dash in to give a big ((hug)) to Mopsy and join in the pom-pom get well dance for MiniM. Really hope she starts improving now she's in hospital and can get all the medical attention she needs.

Lots to catch up on and will be back later.

xiao what can I say? They're all wnkrs when it comes to their "family friendly" policies. I can't remember/ don't know what you do. ...but it probably doesn't matter. If you push the issue, you'll make life difficult for yourself, and they'll still say no. Either you change your life to adapt, or change your job. Tis shit. You have my sympathy.
Hey ho. Congratulations on passing the Brit test. Did they make you spell colour and humour, and plough?
Are you allowed to do the lottery? Maybe all of our problems will be solved next weekend, eh? :)

Hi everyone,

Jiggle I agree with the others, I don't think it would do any harm to have a chat with the gp. It is hard sometimes not to get fed up and frustrated, but when you feel it coming, just stop and breathe for a few minutes. One job at a time.

DSM not long until the big day now! You sound very organised! I miss looking at all the bride to be websites :)

Mopsy hope your LO gets better soon, she's in the right place though so that's good.

Xiao I don't know how you're coping with such long days, plus that commute! Honestly, if it was me, I think I'd leave the job and look for something else closer to home. I don't know what your job is or if you enjoy it though so my advice probably isn't that helpful!

Can't remember if I already posted, but social services are going to visit the kids mum Mon am, and come to my house to check in the kids on Mon pm. By the sounds of it, the mum is still being assessed and monitored, I think realistically that the hospital will want to monitor her for 28 days as that has been mentioned to her.

DH and I have agreed to wait until close of play Monday and then discuss what to do next. It isn't ideal having two teenagers cooped up in our 2 bed flat, it's doable, but they really need their own space and privacy at that age. Their dad has a 1 bed flat, he has said he will look after them if their mum needs to be in hospital longer, but he was very vague and DH hasn't done enough questioning IMO. Anyway, Monday afternoon roll on!

I'm amazed that the mum has been able to function and not raise any alarm bells as I spoke to her friend today and the reason they lost contact for a few years is the the mum was arguing with her that there were cameras in the house even after her friend had physically checked the house. Honestly everything makes sense now!

Looking after teenagers isn't much fun..., I am having a taste of the future :o I've already had to tell bil off for calling sil a bitch. I've also had to tell sil no she can't stay home alone overnight and no, social services won't know any different, but I will know, so it's not happening.

Hi all thanks for the well wishes. We spent the whole day from 9am-6.30pm feeding her 5ml of fluid every 5 minutes. It took until after 6 before she did a wee. We had to have her sitting on a pot all day to catch the longed for wee. So we had to hold her upright all day and feed her from a syringe every 5 minutes. She was so so miserable and mostly just wanted to cry/sleep but I couldn't comfort or cuddle her properly cos of the blasted upright position on the pot. Thank god mr Mopsy was there to share the load. So eventually she wee'd and the results showed a urine infection. The doctor had originally wanted to keep her in and administer the antibiotics by drip but luckily she had improved enough to bring her home and give her the antibiotics here. SO relieved. She vomited at least seven times but the little-often approach, although completely exhausting, obviously still worked. She's now asleep in her own cot. I'm going to hit the sack shortly... Or not she literally just started crying. Thanks got your well wishes, fingers crossed she improves soon ..,

Blimey mopsy, what a day for you all. Hopefully she should start to pick up, and after about 48 hours show real improvement. You and Mr Mopsy try to get some rest too, you must be knackered all round.

That does sound like she's been ill for some time Cherry; it's amazing how these things can stay hidden for years. I really hope they can get her on some appropriate medication, but it's keeping people on it that's tough. Hope the kids are holding up OK, must be awful for them seeing their Mum in such a state and threatening. Will be interested to see what SS say, and what arrangements you all come to- best of luck for the next few weeks and we'll all be here.

Congratulations to Lady Xiao, official Brit that you are ! That's awful with work though, those are insane hours including the commute, you poor sod (good British word!) I suppose there's nothing to loose putting in the application for flexible working- if they're going to be shitty employers, it probably won't make much difference to how behave towards you, and you may get a surprise. Are you in a union you can contact?

It's accepted in the law that having a baby can 'disturb your the balance of your mind' (apologies for the crap terms, just quoting) for a year after birth jiggle, so yes PND certainly can come on- as aethel says, it often gets harder over that first year, not easier. See your GP, and do take a list, and/or someone to go with you- that way you can get to say everything you need, and have a second pair of ears to take in what they say. Good luck.

Cheers for the typos LMF, but you know, I'm getting the feeling your phone may actually like you a bit now, it's not making up half as many crazy words

Gee, DS naps 2-3 times per day, and I just put him down in his cot. About 1/3 of the time I'll have to go back in to re-dummy, but he settles pretty easily. However, I'd started him with naps in his cot upstairs when he was about 3 months (mainly because he would NEVER sleep in the damn Moses) so it actually worked out well.

And aethel, we're in the same boat, we're off to buy a playpen tomorrow. Why the little pickle couldn't be like his mother and not move til he was 18 months old I don't know!

mopsy I'm not surprised she's been miserable all day, poor thing must be exhausted. Don't be alarmed if she's sleepy tomorrow, all Eva wants to do when she's ill is sleep usually. I hope that the antibiotics start working and that she's herself again soon.

cherry it may not be ideal but you're doing a great thing by looking after them, they need all the family they've got at the moment. That's pretty worrying how long it's been going in for though without anyone knowing, thank goodness it was picked up on.

I sincerely hope the entire mopsy household has a calm and restful night.

I'm at a baptism in the morning. I've never been to a service in a Catholic church before so it's going to be a 'foosed miss flustered for the most part.

Right, night all!

Gid Moaning! DS treated hubby to his first ever "daDadaDa!" this morning. Cue one very happy DH.

Hope the night was good, we only had one wakeup so I'm perky(ish). Still intend to keep up my caffeine habit, of course...

Cherry, you're doing a fab job and have my utmost admiration. Has either teen given you the waggly-fingered "What-EVAaaa" yet?

Mopsy Glad you've found out what's wrong with MiniM and hoping you all had a restful night.

LMF Enjoy your baptism.

Today is chill out day as F1 is on so i'll be punching hearts out & colouring in today...for order of day & placemats 26days to go!

Hi all, minim is way happier this morning. Still a slight temp but calpol is bringing it down. Fed her a carton of formula every 5 mins one syringe and she just finished the last bit and did a burp, no vomit sovfar, fingers crossed. SO relieved! She's playing w her toes and cuddling her bear and babbling. She's like a whole different baby to the miserable little scrap she was yesterday.

So question of the day is, do I take her to Dublin? Half hr flight then staying at my sisters. Should I stay or should I go? Answers on a postcard!

Ps sorry to not reply to anyOne yet...

mopsy glad she's more herself today. When do you need to decide by? I'd imagine she would be ok to go but I'd avoid making a decision until the last minute tbh.

Enjoy the baptism lmf.

Train to airport around 2pm... Will see how she is at midday and maybe ring back the nurses on the ward and ask what they think. They could prob advise. If she was well enough to be sent home with oral abs she sd be ok to travel for a c

Train to airport around 2pm... Will see how she is at midday and maybe ring back the nurses on the ward and ask what they think. They could prob advise. If she was well enough to be sent home with oral abs she sd be ok to travel for a cpl of days I suppose. Hard to know! It's only Ireland of course and they have doctors too! But I'd hate to go and for her to get worse again. But my sister and I were so looking forward to it. Agh. Just don't know what to do!

Mopsy I'd go..as you say she seems brighter today and if she carries on drinking her milk without vomiting she must be on the mend

What've you decided Mopsy? Are you on the way to the train? I'd be tempted to go if MiniM seems OK.

Enjoyable slob day here today- we've all showered and eaten but not much else. Reserved a playpen, which DP is going to go down and collect, and then we'll go out and try to enjoy that weird, hot ball of light in the sky

Eva is really miserable and teething badly today. All I've managed to do is hang out the washing and hoover while she's been screaming.

I have a bum shuffler he's all over the place I never crawled and was a bum shuffler so think he's inherited it from me. Hes very stealthy though he's just in a different place the next time you look.

Woke up with immense headache this morning think it was contact lens as much as alcohol related but that's no excuse for the McDonald's burger and wispa gold mcflurry I have devoured today to shift it. At least lo slept to 7 even if I was reaching for the painkillers at 5.30.

mopsy what have u decided?

Thanks for all the advice everyone. I've decided I'm going to go to the head of my department tomorrow and tell him I'm going to formally request a variation of my contract to work from home some days. If they turn me down then at least I'm in the same position I'm in now, but I'll know my days working there are numbered - I'll aim for the end of the year, get my bonus, and then start exploring other jobs/career break. That would be a real shame because I love my job, I trained there, they paid for my law school and training contract, and my dad was a partner there so there's real long-term connections. Gee it's stories like your friend that make me worry - I've heard similar stupid things here. aethel you're right, it's the guilt - that any choice I make is either wasting my education and my professional identity, or losing out on being the mother I want to be.

mopsy sounds like an absolutely awful time and I hope you're putting your feet up today, whether at your sister's or at home.

seven I hope she's settled - massive sympathy as DS is teething too and biting (ouch). We moved him out of our room last night and didn't get much sleep either.

At my sister's! Bit of a stressful journey but all well. Minimopsy fed and babbling away in her travel cot! Yay! Can't believe how ill she was yesterday, it's quote extraordinary how quickly they improve...

Aah back home after 2 weeks in not sunny France but had lovely time anyway. Both ds' survived the 13 hour journey down there in remarkably good spirits and so did DH and I.

Been reading but can't remember what I wanted to say except really pleased to see mini mopsy doing better and xiao sorry to hear work are being tw a its. DH is a sol and I work at one of the big four so am 'familiar' with big firm family friendly policies. After DS1 I went back part time 3 days a week, is that an option? Would it help to rant in rl/ can I wangle an invite to the very cool houseboat ? Am pretty local to you and might have some tips for surviving back at work with chargeable hrs targets etc

Hurrah for the family Mopsy, that's great. So glad to hear she's so much better.

I had just been wondering where you were at hawthers (and others like HLC), sorry to hear it was as grey over there as it was here. That's bloody brave doing 13 hours with both- please tell me some of it was whilst they were asleep?!

We've had a lovely chilled day- all managed to get washed, dressed and fed, then DP went out and got the baby cage play pen. Went for a walk up to the park with Cornettos, and even put DS in the kiddie swings which he loved! G&T in the garden, and my pasta bake for dinner.

Making a choice to take action will definitely help Xiao- sometimes it's being in the 'what do I do?' phase that's the worst. And yes, you'll either get what you want, or know where you stand iyswim. You'd think with that level of connection (on top of the fact that you're obviously good at your job!) they'd work to keep you, but it sounds like they're stuck in a time warp. FWIW, I think you're absolutely doing the right thing.

And figgy, I had to laugh at your stealth bum-shuffler! My DP reckons he's actually teleporting

Arg, it's too late and I've not done enough stealth DIY today!
However, DS is already suffering the indIgnities of having two older
sisters: today was spent being squirted by them with waterpistols in the paddling pool while he played with his duckies, and then his dinner was homemade pizza (which he loved: score!) sat in front of High School Musical with the DDs (they'd never seen it before, yes it's sickeningly Disney, but they are young innocent souls and really enjoyed it.)

LMF I hope your stupid neighbour shuts up very soon.

xiao, good luck with the work request. Text me if you fancy a meetup sometime as we're about all summer.

Gah he was up at 2 went to back to sleep with his musical seahorse on, then 4.30 and needed a bottle to go back down we then gave up at 6.15 when je woke again. Loving that Monday feeling now