FEB 2010 Terrors sometimes, angels at others - yep, they're properly two now...

[InmaculadaConcepcion]

New thread!!

oh bg you do make me feel better

it will be fine

Dh has sent me to bed with orders to MN and watch telly :)

what didn't help this morning was forgetting to try on my outfit at the weekend, so today I discovered my only pair of smart trousers (that i wore when I visited that company) were far too big, requiring some severe belting and a longer than planned top.

I was a bit when my new boss suggested that I am supposed to work 50% hours randomly spread over the week whenever I am needed I had asked to work Mon to Wed and already have to pay 3 days child care (for two children in school holidays) but only get paid 2 1/2 days... So this is impossible. Don't think she has children... I've confirmed nursery days now and will see how it goes

even without the childcare, your commute is enough to make that enough of a hassle

PA exactly. And if they had told me in the interview that although the job is 50% but I'd have to be available 100% I would have politely declined the job offer.
I'm probably over thinking this but clear communication is moot their strong point. I have compulsory training next week but have no idea where when how long...

'not' not 'moot' phone!

BG if it's too much of a hassle, tell them you have reconsider the job and can't make it if they change the rules

PA for sure they don't seem to act as if they care/worry about you and your DH

bc good news about the settle session going well. DS enjoys playing with full tins (out of the cpboard in the kitchen while trying to open the crackers box or bisto jar )

DS 2nd night in his new room and fx he has settled well. I can decide if I need to add blackout curtains to his already blacked lined curtains as the room seems clearer than his previous one. I'll see if I can find some 2nd hand one as I don't want to spend yet more money.

BG did you post in employment issues? It sounds weirdly familiar (if not somebody else on MN seems to be having the same problem as you!)

SB IME it is too late for blackout blinds. Both DDs are now scared if they wake up in total darkness and won't go back to sleep on their own, a bit of light and they can self settle. (DD2 has been needing some kind of light for a few months now)

PA I don't see anything wrong with that email.
I hope the job goes well? How many interviews are you suppose to get with them?

did we lose bee and fan?

Mous pooh, I'll have a look in employment. Wasn't me posting there.

Argh, oooh not pooh!!! Flippin' phone

mous there is nothing rude or overtly wrong, I just thought it was a odd tone. No thanks, no addressing DH and nothing like this said in person, so it is not like niceities missed here were said in RL. Anyway I know I am sensitive and the letter itself didn't upset me, just came across as odd.

hope everyone has a nice day, would comment to you but DCs are wreaking the place.

I agree, there was nothing about how nice it was to see you/DH, no 'thank you for having us' and I feel there was an implication that DS's illness was somehow your fault (although I am queen of reading things into things so could well not be the case).

see I disagree! but may be it is my foreign genes and I am not reading into english subtlety.

Hi DH and PA

Just to say we had a lovely time yesterday and it was fabulous to spend some time with the children who are delightful .

Is DS any better, it was heartbreaking to see him looking so poorly, I hope he is on the mend.

Look forward to spending a few days in early July with you . We have booked the Travel Lodge now, and will Skype again Sunday.

Hugs and Kisses for DS and DD

Love Mum

even more

Dd2 came back from a settling in session at nursery saying 'Mama, I am soo sweet! Hope it doesn't go to her head to be adored by the nursery staff...

that's because you foreigners are direct and don't deal in passive agressive shit . I prefer the blunt approach myself.

The skype call is the DD show, if DS moves in front of her they complain and they don't let DH talk unless it's answering questions about DD and then it is not always guaranteed. Anyway i should stop talking about it now. I remain polite and they still get what they want so it doesn't matter anyway.

PA well, I am foreign but read it in the light of what you have reported about them before (eg totally ignoring you), so I think it is pretty rude. And what's that bizarre thing of repeating everything you say to your dd? Are they parrots? And they refuse to speak to their own son?

Mous Found the thread in employment you were referring to and now feel very nervous. Appears that employers can do that to you, to ask for random days/hours as long as they give you enough notice. Find it a bit shocking because it discriminates against people with children, especially those who have no family like us. What do they expect me to do? Take a two year old to work with me? Wonder why I bother... (Rant over, sorry)

Isn't there a short cooling off period with new employment, BG? So if it does turn out to be impossible for you to manage you could back out again?

Your DD2 is hilarious!!

PA I think your ILs are very poor communicators. It's possible they meant their email to read as Mous interpreted it, but it could be taken in any number of ways. I'm not surprised it gets your goat when they're shoving meat sandwiches in your DD's face - personally I'm fairly laid back about whether my DD wants to try meat or fish when she's out and about, but I think it shows a fundamental lack of respect for you when your own ILs ignore your dietary preferences.
FX about the job - it may have gone better than you thought.
And babaganoush - mmm!!

Thanks for the concern for our nights BBB and others! Thankfully, DD's cold didn't get too bad and after three days later is all but gone again (whether it's the honey and cinnamon anti-viral combo or the strength of her her own immune system, who can say?). DD slept through last night, although woke with the screaming abdabs the night before, for some reason. Took a while to calm her down.
The poo-phobia has been much better lately, thankfully.

SB we haven't bothered with blackout curtains this year and DD's sleep patterns are unaffected. But if you want to give them a go, charity shops are often a great source of cheap curtainage.

Scones that Homestart thing sounds great!

I'm glad you're starting to feel a bit better, even if it's fits and starts. Have you thought of giving EFT tapping a try? It often works even if people think it's BS and as all the info about how you do it is available for free online, you don't have to shell out any money to have a go with it. I'm finding it very helpful in all sorts of ways. Plus it's very quick and easy!

Bc I think you're outlining the classic conundrum of the second-time mum.

DD walked to and from playgroup today (nearly mile each way) without wanting to get into buggy. Also did 2 hours in the park this afternoon and 30 mins playing with the neighbours children. it is fair to say she went to bed quite tired.

maybe they will let you pay rent and you promise to do no renovations before completion IC. When is your due date? We should stop this moving around when pg marlarky I would say lesson learned for next time but I really doubt a next time.

Despite trying to ignore it i am now worrying about the next visit. two of the days will be while dh is at work. I'm just not comfortable with the expectation that they arrive and then get exclusive access to DCs but then also not sure why and what's the alternative? We only tried once going out them and us when DD was younger, we learned to not try again. They want to take her possibly him out for each half day session, they will also want to insist me and DH go out for a meal. Nice enough in theory but (i) me and DH don't want to but mainly (ii) DS is still quite hard to get to sleep. I get that they'll keep DD up but understand it's just one night and she's old enough now. Generally I am unfussed regarding the meat thing, they however see it as their personal mission to fill her up on meat at every visit. The picnic wasn't even mentioned until after the fact (I would have said yes anyway).

oh IC when is your due date again?

PA Your children, your rules! You don't HAVE to give them access to your children at all.
Surprised you are not that fussed about the meat thing. I would be livid if my mum went behind my back like that. That's quite different to my dds trying meat at a birthday party for example (dd1 had a nibble at a sausage once and thought it was inedible, but then ate a piece of ham sandwich... she survived).

i mean like you, if she is at parties/dinner out etc then fine but then how can you tell them the purposefully giving them meat is not appreciated when you allow it at odd times. I want to say something but not sure how to give a suitable reason. if they try the picnic again then i'll just say to stick to fruit as othewise she won't eat dinner.

my thoughts with not giving them DD(/DS) is then what happens? I get ignored in my own house again

PA Just as well I have no in-laws.... I would tell them where to go if they ignored me!

Jesus Fosbury's advent is Aug 26th PA.
I like the "fruit only" plan - that's a tactful way of not turning it into an issue (and if they ignore that, they really are out of order...)