Dec 08 Mums - Breech babies, bedtimes, boozing and Bikram

[KiwiPanda]

Um sorry about rubbish title

We are camping this weekend too Dieds. 12 adults and 12 kids. It's going to be chaos but I can't wait.

Another terrible morning with DD2. She woke up at 5.45 and for the first hour she whined about me going to work. It was like she was trying to make herself cry, it wasn't crying overwhelming her, more her willing it on. Finally I snapped her out of it with a came of horsey on my knee. After several goes DD1 wanted a turn. DD2 hit her. I told DD2 that she wasbeing mean and there would be no more horsey. She started to scream. For 40 minutes she screamed, cried and hyperventilated. Nothing would snap her out of it. Finally a coughing fit scared her out of it. By this time I was 45 mins late for work. The nanny took her off to nursery looking a very sorry state and already complaining of exhaustion. There is no way she will have a good day there today.

I am trying to keep things in perspective but I am sitting on my very delayed tube, already very late for work, blinking away tears. Aaaarrggghhhh.

Thanks for all your advice though. I too fear that taking her out will store up problems for school proper. You are all right that I must have a proper chat to nursery although I already know they are worried and she velcros herself to one particular teacher and even follows her to the loo.

Oh obe! How heartbreaking for you both. Not really sure what to advise. I hope its just a phase, as she can't properly understand you having to go to work. But as she gets older she'll be able to. Much love.

Obes poor you and poor DD2. What a sad wee soul she is. I have to agree with Syb and Dieds I think taking her out would cause more problems down the line. CAn she reduce her hrs at nursery but increase the frequencey IYSWIM. 5 days a week for an hour and half each. Make her a little diary chart showing her when you are at work when she goes to nursery when the nanny is there. Then she marks off the days then at the weekend you take just her out for ice cream.

I do think 3 is a tricky age was out with some firned last night and we all have 3 yr olds and all of them are suffering occasionally form a bit of seperation anxiety.

What does your DH think? Is she like this with him?

Aaargh, I have been getting all behind and WIIIILLL be on later but just wanted to say to Obes, I think what I would do is scale the nursery back. I hear what people are saying about sending out the wrong messages if you take her out completely - but maybe 3 mornings a week is just too much for her at the moment, so why not cut it down to one or two? Personally I would cut it down to one, with a view to building it back up to two in a few weeks. You could do that fairly easily with your nanny, right? Discuss it with DD2, ask her what she thinks. They have no autonomy at all at this age and it's hard on them, all decisions are made for them. Obviously it's a necessity but I do like to let DD1 make occasional choices when it's appropriate, otherwise I think they can get swept along in what we choose for them. It's awfully hard on you, though, you poor old thing.

It's not sunny here any more, it's been dull and cool all morning! Does everyone else have that? Kayz, I hope you have that, to give you a break! I am amused to hear I was quoted in the Mumsnet baby book, I had no idea. I dread to think what on earth I said. Probably a load of flippant guff

Back this arvo.

Obes I can't really help as these 2 have always loved school and would much rather be there than with me!! But I do like LadyT's idea of cutting it back if you can. Just 1 day and then try and build it up again. Also I know you work but is there anyway you could maybe pick her up one day if you can't cut her mornings back.

Do you think it is being away from you or she doesn't like nursery or something else that is the problem?

LadyT No we still have very very hot weather. Not a cloud to be seen. Usually the sort of weather that I love but I am sick of it. In the MN book you were quoted saying it didn't matter what you called your baby providing you liked it and that saying names were chavvy and poncey etc was rubbish

Had 36 week appt this morning. All fine except I haven't grown in 2 weeks. It's very strange to me as 2 weeks I was 37cm and I am still 37cm. MW says its probably nothing to worry about but I have my growth scan tomorrow so it's not a problem really.

But baby is head down finally and no long back to back. Her head is hovering above my pelvis and MW is happy with that. I did consider begging for a c-section as I am just so bloody fed up and tired now.

Hope you are all well

Kayz you measurements probably are not very accurate with her having moved lots :)

MoM I hope your 2 weeks go by without too much trouble! Do you get to escape for a day afterwards?

Ob, I know a lot have said you'll be storing up problems for school if you take her out but there is a long time between now and school, she will change a lot in that time. Ds1 was in no way ready for regular nursery at 3. He did just one day a week until he started school and he sailed into school with no problems at all. I don't think nursery is all that important really. Children can get a good sense of routine and structure just by being at home and attending toddler groups, story times and that sort of thing.

I'm getting fed up of dd's preschool. I will have a lot of thinking to do over the summer about either keeping her there or moving her to the private nursery ds1 went to for her 15 hours. Logistically the preschool is easier but it has all sorts of problems and the private nursery is lovely. Other friends are fed up too but their dcs are summer borns so starting school this September where we have another year of that place to put up with. I suppose though the children there will be her classmates at school so.......urgh. I hate it. The pre school not the children. They are just shit.

Love the sun, except on the school run when I get very hot and sweaty lugging various children around. All the playing out in the park is great though :)

Hello loves
Sorry it's been so long. Am finding 3 v hectic and never seem to have time to do anything. Lovely mainly though, although we have had illness on and off since before Easter - whatever I had eventually resolved itself but the DCs have had one thing after another - DS is 7 days into a particularly horrible virus. He's had temps every day and has gone super skinny - think it may have been flu - he's been really quite poorly. Poor lamb. And I think DD1 is just starting with it. Although nothing like as dramatic as B - poor you Spot I hope I never have to do another emergency hospital run. Gah. Hope B is feeling better.

Obe that is tough. You poor thing. My personal view would be to ditch the other stuff for a bit and just go to school - and I think probably better to do more rather than less. We've had problems with DD1 settling (similar to you it's all been a bit broken) and she is definitely much better when she has to go every day. Becomes all a bit more normal. I think Deids idea of maybe going for less time is a good one, but I would ask the teachers - they will have seen it all before and might have good strategies. I am seriously reconsidering how much stuff our DCs do - I think it's too much and am going to try cutting back on playdates/extra stuff to give them a bit more time pottering at home, esp now they can be out in the garden. Both of ours much more settled the more space and time they have just to play.

Have loads more to say but last few weeks have done so many half posts that i'll try and be back later. hope you are enjoying sunshine - and that it's come back to you ladyt

Deids I have that book so I dusted it off (its been awhile) and read the first chapter again and it is good. I like it for the same reason I liked the no cry series, it makes sense and it is written by people who have been there and felt the same guilt and frustration we have. They are not pushing the "Vagollyboyo that is not a socially acceptable way to ask for that toy" style of speaking to kids, but just changing the way you say things so the child and the parent don't end up escalating. In the first chapter it really advocates properly listening to kids, which seems obvious but when I thought about it so often I am listening, whilst/cooking/cleaning/looking at my phone.

Deids I'm going camping too, we can go virtual camping, kind of, together! We are driving down to the Belgian Ardenne tomorrow after picking DS' up from school/nursery at 12 & the camping ground has heated pools and a rock-climbing wall coming out of one of the pools, how cool is that. There is also a ropes course in the forest.

It is a gorgeous day here and I have made myself quite tipsy on G&Ts yay!! I had one this morning at the beach with a friend whilst our youngest offspring played and as the weather is just too gorgeous I decided it was would be remiss of me to not have another little dabble this afternoon.

And when I say dabble I mean 2 tres strong glasses. Since having the G&Ts at the Marriott with you ladies I have a renewed love of this lovely mix.

Bloody hell I missed a/whokr page!

G&T rocks

Will I get kicked out of the thread forever if I tell you I have never tried a G&T??

I heart G&Ts and have just got back into them. We have a new Sunday tradition of a G&T at lunch time. Just the job. Have just bought a bottle of sipsmiths gin - is v nice. Also in absolute bonus we got 2 bottles delivered from the ocado man when I only ordered 1 and they just tell you to keep it. Result. Kayz you should definitely give a go . In my head is definitely a grown up drink as my parents used to celebrate Friday night by having a g&t and I thought it was oh so sophisticated. Aaaaages ago there was talk of a London meet up and Vag - I think you're over for the Olympics? If you are in this neck of the would love to get our DCs together again.

DS and DD are sleeping in their blow up beds tonight and are super excited. Am of your camping Obe & Vag - I can't persuade DH to go...

Not all Kayz I have tried it once hate the stuff. I am having a lovely cold cider. After finding out today that the PFB bit his BFF at school today, no TV, or bedtime story. A very boy.

What is up with our DC's at the moment?? Jam Sorry that its your 'turn' to have a biter.

I necked a whole bottle of gin on my 21st, in fact I was drinking it neat when we ran out of tonic. Not really been able to stomach it since, so I tend to go for a V & T!!

Vag I'll toast a glass to you & obe when I light my BBQ tomorrow night. I really do love my tent

On a positive note, DS I'm told has had a pretty good week at pre school (I think that means no biting!). Although when I picked him up today I actually thought he was going to sleep stood up, he was wiped out. He's never been a fan of the heat and he was all sweaty and sticky with sun cream. He had a bath and his supper at about 4pm! But he had to wait till 6.30pm to go to bed as DD had swimming lessons. Poor bear!

DS2 used to bite us about a year ago, I have a scar on my little finger from a bite. I think he stopped when he started going to playschool. I think it helped with him having to share with lots of children rather than just DS1. He used to get so angry as well. He looked really scary too. He has certainly got a temper.

Can I ask you all about naps? DS2 has started having naps again. It has been going on for about 2 weeks now after about 6 months of hardly ever having a nap. It would be fine if we didn't have to get DS1 but my brother is very helpful with collecting him. Also 9 times out of 10 this little face appears at the front room door about 8pm because he just isn't tired.
I really hate waking him up and trying to keep him awake as he just looks shattered. What would you do?

The nap think is tricky kayz as I guess every child is different. DS stopped napping about 2, and has never had one since really except the odd 10 mins if he's fallen asleep in the car. How long is he having for his nap? If he's staying awake at night because of it I'd say limit it to say 30 mins & see how he goes...

He will stay asleep up to 2 hours if I don't wake him after 30-45 minutes. But then he is really grumpy. He will go back to sleep about 10 when I go to bed but I don't want him staying up until 10.

Kayz that sounds exactly like DS2. Somedays he needs a nap but will only bob off in the car where he will sleep for anything from5 mins to up to 3 hrs. It doesnt matter how long he has slept for it means he will be awake until late i.e. after 8pm till about 9pm. But we just ignore him now and he stay in his rm. Does your DS2 stay in his bedroom or get up?

Jam, he gets up. We have a stairgate but they share and DS1 needs to be able to get up for the toilet.

Just 10 minutes ago the front room door opened and there was a little grin. So he was sent back up to bed.
I occasionally find him asleep in my bed when he's obviously got up and gone in there.

That is sooo familiar. Think its a tricky one at this age as there are days that they do need a snooze but its a fecker for us as they wont go to bed at night.

Tis the same here tonight DS1 fell asleep in the car at lunchtime and I was able to transfer him to the buggy and wander in peace round the shops for a couple of hrs )where I bought fuck all for myself replenished the boys shorts supply. Why is that when you get the opportunity to shop in peace and quiet you cant find anything. Anyway I digress. So he slept for approx 2 and half hrs and is now wide awake coming in and out his bedroom, grrrr.

Im in the bath and I can hear him pottering about. Just wish he would sleep!! He's still an early riser too.

Same here Kayz not every day but about 3 days in the week he crashes, usually next to me on the couch (watching bargain hunt while I'm doing the folding ) . If I let him go he will sleep 2 hrs easily and he won't sleep until 10, but even if I wake him earlier he won't sleep til late.

Same here! Little 10 mins nap and he's up til 9!

Hey there, things a bit quieter here, B's temp finally calmed down. He also had a rash which seems to have gone. I'm wondering if it was scarlet fever (as T had a few months back) and he wouldn't tolerate a bottle in his mouth for a few days, and it was the same with T. Apparently there's been another case in T's preschool. Could he have given it to B, I wonder?

Obes, how horrible for you . It's just the worst thing when our DCs are so sad. Can you take some comfort in the fact that she'd rather be at home with the nanny and you? i.e that at least it's not all about you not being there and more actively disliking the preschool?

I'm taking the other side it would seem - I don't think that just because she's unhappy at preschool it would necessarily follow that she'd expect the same treatment at school. Worrying about how she might react towards school is projecting quite a long way into the future. If it would make everyone in the household happier now, it can't be such a bad thing? Could you put her down for a different preschool, maybe?
i am obv no expert, but there are so many parenting issues where I've thought "oh no, if I do this T/B will always expect it, or it'll happen again and again", etc. But I think they have phases, and things don't last forever. And just because you've made this decision about preschool now doesn't mean you need to make the same one should the issue arise at school time (which it may well not).
Sorry, that was a bit of an essay. Like I say, it's just another pod so feel free to ignore!