Dec 08 Mums - Breech babies, bedtimes, boozing and Bikram

[KiwiPanda]

Um sorry about rubbish title

Oh and we had a book we used to recommend for siblings of kids with terminal cancer or life limiting illness, I can't remember the name but it was about a dragonfly baby and some water bound creature.

'Waterbugs & dragonflys'

Vag shmoo poo = Louis our hound.

For those of you that have littlies that are curious about death. Check out Winstons Wish they are a fantastic charity who work with children that have lost their parents.

Hello...Re: toothpaste. I'm the same as JB we have only ever used adult toothpaste on the DC's...just smaller amounts. This was on the HV advise & I remember once asking my dentist he basically said he felt kids toothpaste was a swizz...but I guess that depends on the fluoride in the water where you live.

jam That woman would bug me too! She sounds odd.

DS is a shit. Still lashing out at other children. Pre-school want to assess him & discuss a strategy to manage him. I think they think he has ADHD or Autistic traits...I don't have spent the past week reading everything & anything ADHD, doesn't sound like DS. He's just naughty. When I ask him what has happened he says the other children have hurt him. I don't really know what to think. He shouldn't hit out but if he is provoked it would explain it. I actually felt like I was being told off yesterday when I picked him up. I was on the verge of cracking in front of the pre-school manager, managed to hold it together and then felt apart on 2 of the mums as I walked round the corner to collect DD. DH thinks it will pass, he's pushing his luck, etc etc. I could hardly look at him last night I am so sick of his behaviour. So I sent him to his room and then put him to bed at 6.30. He said to me this morning 'You don't like me mummy' . Thing is right now I don't . Its worse when he is good, as it just proves that he is just naughty and must like hurting people. I know the school must think we smack him, or he see's violence but he doesn't honestly! I feel sick when I drop him off and sick when I collect him. Something must have triggered it as he has been going since January and they have not had any problems until the past couple of weeks.

On a happier note DD seems better. She is still reluctant to go to after school club but yesterday came out of school smiling! I think her teacher looked as relieved as me!

Oh on the subjects of books...does anyone know of any good ones for DS to show him that he shouldn't be hurting others? I know I should just tell him but at the moment its in one ear and out the other but he does love his books.

DB I have banged on about it before but have you read "how to talk so kids will listen.."? I has made me change the way I speak to and deal with dd who is a rather different kettle of fish to parent from her brother. The difference in the way she responds to me and to dh who has not read it is quite marked even though we have talked about it. Friends of mine are very star charty and find it works well for them (not us, ds doesn't care and dd just wants the stickers on her jumper), they linked it in with preschool too so they told the parents if he had had to go in time out at preschool etc so they could still give him an incentive to behave. FWIW he shouted and hit a lot but has just grown up a lot the past few months, I'm not surre charts did it really, he judt grew up and is a changed child. He is 4 this month. Children push boundries, that is how they learn what is acceptable and what is not. Some dig their heels in and refuse to do stuff, some lash out, some scream. It passes. :( at "you don't like me". Have you told him that you always love him but his behaviour makes you sad?

Toothpaste. Is there really that much difference so long as you brush their teeth? My dentist gave each of mine a tube of the 0-3 stuff last visit! Water here has natural high fluoride levels, he said supplements not necessary (anyone else have fluoride tablets as a child?). What are your like at brushing? Dd dreadful, just shovesbrush in her mouth, eats toothpaste and then brushes the toilet instead Ds not too bad, I want to get those tablets that stain the plaque to show him how long he has to brush for. could be fun!

How are all the floods?

Ds settled eventually. Still a bit grumpy though, either that or a bit snotty like the other 2, who knows. Last night he slept soundly til 1 then fussed around and fed on and off until 5.30 when he let out a torrent of vomit, one of those veritable tsunamis that leave you wondering how that much fluid could have fitted in your baby. Grumpy today and has just vommed down my bra. Nice. He really is the most vomitty baby I have ever met and ds1 was pretty bad! I don't think ds2 has innards, the milk just sloshes around and spills when you pick him up, it is like trying to carry a very full cup of tea.

Is it bedtime yet?

This post was brought to you by pancakes, chocolate, sofas and cbeebies.

DB my surestart has books on behaviour stuff you can borrow, does yours do similar? Otherwise I don't tell them but I ask them "how does it feel if someone hits you?" and if they say it hurts "is hurting someone nice?". Makes them think more about it.

Just quickly as I'm on my phone.

Deids DS is too young for any diagnosis and preschool are not qualified to diagnose. My younger brother has ADHD along with learning disabilities and the behaviour goes beyond 'naughty'. 3 is an age for testing the boundaries. Please don't panic!

Dieds also too add as JB just said. 3 is far too young to diagnose something like ADHD. He is testing and pushing the boundaries. Keep at it. Have strong boundaries which you and nursery agree on and consequences that he understands and stick to them. This too will pass. xxx Too early for Have a

Thanks ladies.

indith I'll ask at SureStart. I always try and talk about what he's done when he's calm. He'll say 'I don't like to hurt' always followed by a 'they hurt me' and lots of 'I not do it again'. But obviously he does.

We used to have sticker charts with DD, worked really well (still does, she loves a sticker!) DS couldn't give a monkeys...time outs seem to work better...and removal of treats/stories/me not 'doing jigsaws' etc.

jam Are you sure its too early for ?

How's the flooding?

hello ladies :)
So sorry for my absence - thanks ZJ for the text. I only have a few minutes to say Hi for now as it's almost school pick up time, but I thought if I don't try now it'll be next week before I get chance!
Things here are ok - just ticking along really but I'm not quite feeling on top, so MN has been neglected again. The thing is, I miss a few days, then because I'm not keeping up, I feel a bit bad so I leave it longer, then I feel daunted by the amount of posts I haven't read, but don't like to leap in with a random post in case I've missed something important or say something insensitive. ANyway, I've had a read through which is why I have 2 mins before I go out...
DB I wish I could give you a hug. DS is pushing the boundaries to find where they are, and he knows he's safe to do it because you'll always love him - even if you don't like him - and that's ok. Much love to you.
my house move is plodding slowly - still aiming at a move in the summer hols so no rush yet.
Running is going well - I'm enjoying it, althouh I only go about once a week. My furthest so far is 11k, so I'm slowly getting nearer my goal...!
My medication is still a bit of a struggle, trying to fins the balance between feeling well and feeling awake - I have an appointment with my new consultant in June (old one has just retired) to talk about my meds, so it's just a bit of a try and see thing really.
Had a possibly dodgy mole taken off my face last week - I went for the appointment to see the dermatologist and she wanted to remove it straight away, so now I have a delightful scab! I should hear the histology results next week but the doc didn't seem toooooooo worried.
Right really miust go
I WILL be back soon. So sorry to neglect personals
xxx

How was DS today Deids? and how about you? I know very little about ADHD, Jolly and Jam sound like they know what they're talking about. My thought is that, even if the pre school staff can diagnose, surely only 2 weeks bad behaviour is far too short a time period to diagnose anything anyway? Has a new child started, or children been moved round groups? Anything that might mean he's trying to re-assert himself in the pecking order? And Indith's suggestion of Surestart reminded me that the staff at our local centre do home visits for things like sleep issues, potty training etc. Could someone from your centre come round, to offer a different perspective? xx

DD1 has an odd perspective on death - everyday we walk past DH's grandparents old house and she likes to ask who lived there (they died years and years ago) and I explain who they are and that they were old and died. This week she asked 'were they squashed?', followed by 'I could blow them back up for Daddy' . Where did that come from?!

The toothpaste conversation reminded me that at our last dentist appointment, DD had something painted on her teeth. I think it was fluoride . The dentist told me that it isn't really an issue on milk teeth as they're not around long enough, but using the right toothpaste and brushing this stuff on is just a good habit to get into before the adult teeth emerge

DD2 is also a puker Indith, we ended up changing all the sheets on our bed at 3am the other day. I loved your description of DS2 as a full cup of tea - so very true!

Enjoy your trip Vaj

Pleased to see Trace back - v impressed with your running my dear! Now where is Effie? She too is notable by her absence

Was going to moan about stuff and things - but I have had a and it all seems better now . Happy weekend everyone

ZJ I bumped into Effie the other day in the institution that is Willam Griffins she us well but DS 1 broke his arm recently

Vvvv. Drunk after a super early but delicious dinner with friends. Am on the train home and am trying to not fall asleep. DY is already snoring beside me.

That would be DH nor DI

Sounds fun jam :)

at blowing up squashed grandparents. When my gran died I told ds that the part that made her special had floated away and was all around us and it was just her body left in the hospital because she didn't need it anymore. Ds says "if her body is in the hospital where is her head?" In spite of the situaion I couldn't help but PMSL.

Village hall for cake followed by a farm for ds's best friend's birthday.

Something very strange is happening with my phone and I can't type certain words. It may have something to do with pouring hot water on it last night from the kettle. But will see how I go.

Very interesting about the toothpaste, DS1 doesn't mind the normal stuff as we've had to use it a few times when we have been away and forgotten the kids stuff. DS2 hates it though and says it's too spikey. I have to say I agree I don't like strong toothpaste flavours and wish they would make proper milder ones, its just flavour anyway. Both boys are pretty good at brushing their teeth but poor DS1 has a teeny bit of decay just on the gum line of two of teeth, I think it is from drinking milk before bed from a beaker until the age of 4.5. My BIL gave us a thing to rub onto his teeth after he brushes that will halt the decay. It is currently still only very mild so his teeth should be fine until they fall out. There is no flouride in the water in mainland Europe so def not a problem to use normal adult toothpaste so I'm going seek out some ultra mild stuff for DS2 & I. Ds2 does a little brush himself then gives us the brush to finish off.

We are hanging out in our little cabin then are going for a run with the boys in the chariot. We are in Arnhem and it is so beautiful very different to the rest of NL. They actually have little hills!

Ooh and hello Trace lovely to hear from you, and 11km, WOW! Let us know how things go with the new consultant.

Hello Trace, lovely to see you. Glad the house move is still progressing.

Thanks all for the book suggestions. I'm not sure how to tackle the afterlife question. I'm not sure about heaven myself but it is reassuring as a child. Very funny about the squished grandparents!

DH is doing my head in. We're meant to be going to his parents and I'm the one running about getting organised while he has spent all morning in bed hungover. He woke me up at half three to let him in as he forgotten his key.

Trace lovely to 'see' you!!

DB you've had some good advice I can't add too. Hope it gets better soon.

DH went to work this morning. He's just landed in Abidjan in the Ivory Coast. DS2 keeps asking how many sleeps til he gets home. Poor little mite.

Ds1 looks like he has chicken pox. So that should be fun.

Hope you're all well.

Does he go to a different place each trip, Kayz?

I hope DH pulled his finger out today Jolly

Just back from my sis' hen do, it has been really lovely. Deids you'll be as excited by this as I am - one of her old school friends now works for the BBC and is currently working on the Voice, with Will.I.Am. Maybe she'll bring him to the wedding as her plus one

ZJ yes he goes to a different ship every time. So he is likely to be sent loads of places. He has to do a course in Singapore in August and his employers have told him they pay for a hotel for 2 people. So I could go we just have to pay for my flights. But it's a bit soon after baby will be born.

snot snot snot snot snot

This morning I put the milk away on the shelf then my mug of milk that I needed to heat to make hot chocolate in the fridge.

Sneaking back on after lovely weekend away in Geneva. DH did marvellous marathon time of 3hrs 39! Crap for supporters though the course. Now home. Sorry not to do personals, am whacked.

But I did want to ask if I'm being a knob for feeling a bit wounded that DDs clearly v excited to see DH and clearly couldn't give a flying fuck about seeing me. Trying to pretend its fine, but I wanted to weep. Ungrateful little sods!! I know he's fun, bur frankly, they'd be stuffed without me. Want to resign. Humph.

Beans, the way mine go on about DH, you woudl think he was some kind of god! I think it's because Daddy is unencumbered by having to do the washing, shopping, cooking etc etc - it's all fun, fun, fun with him. If he does cook, then guess who clears up after.

No, mothers is where the loyalty lies. They are just so comfortable and familiar that they don't feel the need to say it .

Glad you had a good time.

Sybs, you are a hero. Thank you. Flagging confidence in parenting skills at mo. Weekend away reflecting on it. Ho hum.

How's DH bearing up re his Dad? And you? X