December 2011 - This too shall pass (with the help of imaginary woolly mammoths)

[Mmmmcheese]

Have gone with LMFs title suggestion :)

Y'know Kri5ty I had exactly the same thought re single parents. As it is, with me doing all the night feeds and OH being full time, it is knackering, and I cherish the weekend when it's the two of us looking after him, so how single parents manage I don't know, especially if they have more than one.

I know it's hard but try to have a nap when your OH takes him. I only do it once a week- the other times I do jobs or try to stay in contact with people- but my Saturday avo nap is bliss.

I totally agree with mopsy though; as a general rule I shower daily, as I think it's important for body and mind to do so! Often we get up at the same time as OH, but if not, I'll put LO down- if he cries for a little bit then so be it. So definitely don't think you're a bad Mum!

It's crap isn't it Oi- you give birth to the little efforts and yet they're still constantly attached to you. Again, may I nominate the authors of the Purple Book for an extremely large haddock. I'm sure we'll look back in a few months and forget it was ever like this...
The one thing I'm finding now which is a lifesaver is that LO is quite content on his mat, or in front of the TV, for 20 minute stretches, and you can get a hell of a lot done in that time. Plus, as wiser souls on here advised, you can get loads done outside the home as they tend to be contented in the pram or sling.

But yeah, house-sitting, that is a crazy thing to do

On the good news front, tomorrow's lunch is brie sandwiches!

vanessa wish i could pass him over when OH gets in, but thats at 8pm mostly when he is already in bed, this week its 11pm, then he is in work again most days at 7am grumble grumble lol...
im not envious of your house sitting :(

mopsy my showers are about 20 mins long, i just cant have a quick one haha, its the drying my hair that is the problem, its just too long, and too curly to just let it dry... i look like monica in friends with the afro! And i shall be brave and book an apt tomorrow :o

jiggle that is exactly how i feel, if i was a single parent i would expect to do it, where as, the same as you, i am hopeful he will help, and frustrated / pissed off when he doesn't! Cue arguments!
It doesn't help the fact i have M.E, and he has seen me at my worst, i just honestly think guys dont realise, even when you tell them, they forget!! Saul would just cry if i put him in his chair whilst i shower, hmm im going to grab one now actually!!

I put minimopsy on the floor in the bathroom in her blankie so she can see me get into the shower and knows where I am. Also, the hot water pipes run under the floor so she seems to like it there. I've had three of her total of five smiles (so far) on the bathroom floor! And if she's crying I can hear if she gets hysterical so I can get put. I never leave her cry when she gets properly upset. So far I haven't had to cut my shower short though, but to be fair I don't linger! Soap, rinse out and hair every three days if I'm lucky (curly-hence my moniker-so I can get away with it more or less but I am admittedly a frizzball these days rather than nice glossy curls!!!)

ps northern he never has 2 days off together, when he has a day off he is visiting his dad, or grandparents, and he generally only does one feed:(
last night he stayed in the spare room as he "has an awful cold"... the same one i had last week haha

purple book?? what is this? a book that is my favourite colour??!

mopsy i got a brazillian (spelt wrong) blow dry, its wearing off now but it was a life saver! It really de frizzed the hair!!

hmm i really should go and get in the shower before i dont end up going!

Night all, and wishing you all long stretches between night feeds :o

Haha kri5ty, I look like frizzy monica a lot these days!!! I just wash my hair, stick my head upside down, shove some hairmousse on and leave it dry naturally. Some days I get nice curls, but more often I look like the nerd in the girlt movies BEFORE the magical makeover (I.e. Remove nerdy glasses and defrizz hair). But I console myself with the thought that at least it's clean. My glossy curl days are few and far between at the moment!

I ignored the wobble Northern I am assuming it was hormones. I refuse to get drawn into any sort of being I'll again thing right now. It don't feel like one of my properly ill wobbles, and bob knows I have had enough of those to know.

For those of you wondering how a single parent does it, the answer is with skill, planning and as much help from friends and family as you'll let yourself accept. This past month would have been impossible if not for the practical help from my parents and a close friend, and the psychological support from a bigger circle of friends, both in real life and on places like here and my Facebook circles (mostly real friends who've moved away and such). The daily grind isn't the main issue. Most of you seem to be finding that being mum is like having sixteen full time jobs - for me the hardest part is not having someone there I can just hug, or talk to or even weep with. The solitude is the killer, even with three children in the house. I never planned to be alone, and I certainly never planned to have another hold alone, but some monumentally crazy decisions this last few years, couples with an inability to see somebody for who and what they truly are led to the octopus. I can't say it's easy, but we make the best of things.

Sorry that's a bit epic >_<

I'm away to bed now. It's a bit late, but Tuesday is our late day. Could just go a bowl of noodles but am too tired to bother. Will have something good for breakfast instead. Rumour has it there are crumpets left in the kitchen:o

lmf i really do have so much respect for you! I'm glad you managed to ignore you wobble :) you are so strong, no matter what, and to go through all of that with octobaby too, yet still being able to give us newbies help and advice! Your friends and family sound amazing, but so are you, you still find the time to help us :) and listen to us moan selfishly about our OHs

I admire your skill!! Can i have some please :o
mmm crumpets, i fancy some now.. with philly light on!!

Philly is for days when you've not the time to fire up the grill and load the crumpet with cheddar:o You toast the crumpet, smear some mustard on, add epic amounts if cheddar then grill until bubbly and fabulous. Yum!

And I'm no more skilled at this than anyone else, we're all dealing with life as it comes. One day it'll be a little easier for us all:)

lmf you are a legend!
northern thank you
Kristy you are a star.
me I'm going to cut my hair shorter for easier/quicker showers and easier baby-maintenance! (I just need a baby-sitter for 3hours! ...I need colour too.)

I like crumpets with peanut butter and strawberry jam - very American!

I have my showers in the evening while DH paces the floors with DD downstairs.

DD had her jabs today and been extra grizzly. Is itr bad that I'm hoping it means she'll sleep longer tonight?!

It is never bad to wish that LOs sleep longer, no matter what the cause.
DH and I have had a great night chatting about all sorts of things. he's fit, my DH. (I still don't want to shag him yet. Even after a bottle of red!)
have a good night, ladies. Xxx

Oh dear DD has a temp from her jabs today - 38.4. Have taken off her sleeping bag and given her 2.5ml calpol and a feed. Hope she doesn't vomit it up. I'm always so scared of febrile convulsions. Not sure I'm goingf to sleep tonight!

Thank You for all the hellos and welcomes!

Very sleepy and trying to feed DS who after demanding food now seems to be more interested in pretending to be asleep, he'll be wide awake again if i attempt to move!

Am braving a 250 mile drive with just me and DS in the car tomorrow to visit my parents for a few days, should be interesting am hoping DS is kind to me and sleeps most of the way!

Just a quick post Sky slept all night for the first time

Have a good day everyone

The best birthday present ever! Well done sky

Hi BJR, I found the following strategy worked well with a long drive: change and feed baby: leave: drive as much distance as you can, baby usually sleeps for 5 min cycles: if baby wakes or is nearly awake stop at next sevices, coffee for you, feed&change them, then back on road. Works until kids too big to sleep just cos in car (at this point we got i-spy and audio tapes and my SIL got portable DVD players!)

mmmmm hope your LO's temp went down...

Does anyone else baby cry when they hand them to their OH? Hope is only happy with me and i really want to hand her over to DH but she just screams unless she is asleep

Happy birthday Darciesmum
Oi when walking dogs I usually prefer to use a bjorn (or similar) carrier as it leaves you hands free and means you are less likely to wheel over the dogs footsies although obviously if its two labs or bigger who pull on the leash it might be a bit dangerous if they pull you over. Basically I've not yet got the courage to walk our 4 dogs with a pushchair and the two DDs on my own but can manage it easily with one in a carrier (and the other at home with DM).

just remembered dogs have paws not feet.

Happy birthday Darcies!
LMF, you are an inspiration!
Well, minimopsy went from 11:30 to 5:00 this morning so she's going an hour and a half longer than before. It does put my timings off a little for rest of day but I'm sure we will figurevit out. Unfortunately I didn't take advantage of the longer stretch because I kept waking up to see if she was making feeding cues.

Re: the punctuation and spelling pedants chat earlier, I usually am but it's too much effort when typing one handed on the phone. I make so many typos and autocorrect puts wrong words or(my pet hate!) apostrophes in but it's too much faff to go back and fix. So I can't be pedantic about other peoole's errors when my own posts are full of them!!

Happy birthday Darcies!

I am sofa-bound today :( Lifted DS this morning & felt something go ping in my neck....owwwwww...I can't turn my head to the right without crying so I'm feeling pretty sorry for myself. I'd love to take some codeine & go back to bed but as I metabolise it really quickly I can't while bfing.

Mmmm I hope your DD is feeling better.

We don't have a shower, just a bath & although I can have a quick one it takes time to run it & DS always seems to wake & start crying just as I'm getting in which makes washing my hair impossible.

My DP works 6 days a week & is out at least 3 nights a week playing snooker. I wouldn't want to be a single parent but assuming he still financially supported us things would probably be a bit easier day to day. Like jiggle my OH expects a proper dinner every night also he has packed lunches which includes homemade cake. He's been helping out a bit since DS was born; doing the washing up sometimes & heating up meals I've put in the freezer but I'd be happy with toast for dinner so there'd be a lot less cooking. I'd have to move somewhere with central heating though as he chops all the wood for the fire. My mum was a single parent though & I know the reality of it has very little to do with day to day jobs; I'd be pulling my hair out if I had no one to talk to at the end of the day. Could've slapped him with a haddock last night though; when he came in to find me cooking 3 meals (1 for dinner, 2 for the freezer) he remarked with a laugh that it was nice to see me doing something for a change

Argh...starting to feel PND-ish. DP of course is uncontactable.

We're all here msb talk to us until you can get him x