Jan 06 babies - no sleep til....!

[GeorginaP]

Hi there. Anyone feel up to joining me from Jan 06 ante-natal thread?

Just a quickie - Iris, how have you got on with the probiotics? I was recommended to use them by our local Neal's Yard, and we've been sprinkling them into Scarlett's mouth for the past two weeks. It's a bit of a faff, and to be honest I can't decide whether they're having any effect. Just wondered about your experiences - or anyone else for that matter?

Mumfun, so sorry to hear that you're feeling so low - it does seem like we're all hitting a bad patch at the moment doesn't it? Although you have been going through the mill by the sounds of it... hang on to the thought that Sophie is doing well, and you have a supportive dp. Sorry I can't offer more.

Georgie, how did you get on at the Big Scream? Our local independent cinema does one of those on a wednesday morning, but nobody I know has been brave enough to try it yet! Would love to hear how it works, and IF it works...

Hi Ladies

Didn't make it to the Big Scream. They were showing The Worlds best Indian or something. Think it has Anthony Hopkins in it. Didn't fancy it much, so am going next week when they have a diff movie and will report back then!

rach - how awful is your DS's teacher. Why do people think it's OK to make such sweeping assumptions about children's behaviour? And worst still, everyone now thinks they are a child psychologist because they've watched 3 episodes of House of Tiny Tearaways!!!

m21 - are you sure you haven't got PND? Have you had a chance to speak to doc or HV about how you're feeling? don't want to jump to conclusions about how you are feeling, but it does seem to me that you're feeling really sad at the mo and might benefit from chatting to someone thats qualified to make a diagnosis (if one is needed). Can you get any advice from HV on Ds's behaviour and how to cope with it? Hang in there. As you say, Sophie is a delicious baby.

Sweetkit - how was the dentist? Am off there next week with Mollie so we can both get a check up.

Lilstarry/Loomer - how are your girls? Have they settled a bit?

Things are starting to get a bit better here. Libby actually slept thru last night. 10pm - 6.30am. I couldn't beleive it . I know it's only a one off, but I feel so much better for a good nights sleep. GF routine has helped I'm sure. I don't follow it to the letter, but the feeding times are great as they fit around the rest of the family and it means that I don't have to rush her feeds to get mollie to school or pick her up.

Libby's new game is to pull my nipple. Almost jumped thru the roof when she did it yesterday afternoon. She was happily BF, I wasn't paying much attention, and suddenly this little hand grabs my nipple and pulls. Little tinker even lauighed as well when I yelped!!!

She's beceoming more inter active now. Cooing and kicking her legs and giving us real gummy smiles. She loves her bath in the evening. Although her fave past time is to lay under the play gym with a little portable heather pointed at her bare bum and just kick her legs around as the warm air wafts her be-hind

She's also too big to squeeze into new born clothes so she's in 3-6 month ones now.

Tickle - hows the trip to the rellies going?

Iris - you coping Ok on your own? Has DH gone on business trip yet? Bit insenstive to mucnh crisps and read at midnight when you're so tired. You should have relegated him to the spare room for bad behaviour Or maybe made him sit on the naughty step .

Right better get. The laundry won't wash itself...mores the pity!

G xx

Hi all just a quick hello as I've not been on for ages.

Sounds like everyone going through similar things, which is reassuring.

Dominic is 7 weeks tomorrow and weighed 12lb 15 this morning (he's sticking rigidly to his 91st percentile curve) - looks a lot older than 7 weeks, or so people keep telling me - weight about average for 3 months now! He's about 60cm and has HUGE hands and feet. I've started putting him in 3-6 month sleepsuits so his toes don't get forced upwards because the feet bits in the suits are a bit bigger. As he's not
particularly tall he looks a bit silly :)

He's a total darling and is well into giggling and making a little excited noise like a monkey. He sleeps from about 8pm to 3am most nights now - he's dropped his midnight feed, so hopefully will drop the 3am soon.. I hate to boast but I had 9 1/2 hours sleep last night (dh did the 3am and 6.30am!) :) :) :)

Still not healed down below! And no way are we going back in the saddle for now - I'm thinking summer - I can't sit down properly yet!! And feeling pretty miserable some of the time.. however I spoke to doc and she made me cry quite quickly and then told me I need Prozac - I could have bitten her hand off at that stage- that was only a week ago and I think it's working already or at least there's a placebo effect going on. And all my post natal nuttiness now gone. Thinking about the next baby already, going to start trying Feb 2007!

Sorry to hear about your troubles m21, sounds like life really tough for you at the moment, hope it gets better soon. I don't know how anyone copes with 2 children, never mind when 1 is a bit difficult!

Hope all the colicky babies get better soon - I've tried Infacol and it seemed to work.

Love to all the mums and babies :)

Well the dentist was ok was shaking in the seat but got through it only another 2 appointments to go!

Seems like everyone is having a hard time of it right now, I had a better sleep last night and it really makes a difference plus DP was home today so helped out. I also think the weather plays a part as it's so horrid I never want to go anywhere, be much better when it's warmer and we can take them out for walks.

Talia is 7 weeks today think she must be over 13lbs by now, 0-3 month clothes are straining, shes much more interactive now follows you around the room and loves to be held and carried so she can see whats going on.

Right better get off have to order sis-in-laws birthday present.

Hi haven't had time to read all the messages but wanted to add that Gina Ford's contended little baby book is a LIFE SAVER!
I call it my bible, both my kids were put straight into her routines, which are very ridgid but rewarding by 6 weeks both my kids were sleeping from 7pm to 7am - no lie!
My son is 5 months old and he has a nap at 9am - 9.45am, 11.45am - 2.00pm and sleeps 12 hours a night from 7pm - 7am.
If you have tried everything else and it's all failed then give Gina a chance, If it's good enough for Kate Winslet then It's good enough for me!

Hi all - happier huggier times in irisland after a frank discussion with DH.

Loomer - I've no idea if the probiotics are working or not. My homeopath advised we take the course to counter the antibiotics from labour. TBH we've only just restarted them last weekend as I thought we only had to take them for a week. Dom still has a face like a pizza (my hormones are to blame apparently - they always did run riot)and he gets loads of wind.

elly - I'd probably agree with you about Gina Ford but how the hell do you have a life whilst you're getting them into the routine?!! Every time we go anywhere my LO falls asleep and for too long Though I am planning on staying at home & doing the whole routine for at least the first of the next 3 weeks whilst DH is away. I've no idea how you could possibly do it if you have more than one child.

Sweetkitty - you are so brave going to the dentist - well done!! I broke a back tooth in half whilst pg (on an olive!) & still haven't made an appointment to get it fixed - I'm half hoping it will just painlessly fall out

Georgie - DH off on sat will be fine I'm sure (ta 4 asking)- used to it.

hope everyone else is well - got to fly - Dom awake & bawling xxx

mornin all

as you can see i'm up bright and early, despite a late night watching the commenwealth games on tv with ds. i seem to have developed a very itchy all over rash over the past few days, which can make it v difficult to sleep. i've been holding off taking an anti histamine because of bf, but i'd really like to. i'll think i'll email the bf network website to see if it's safe.

iris
how is your dad getting on? have been thinking of you and your family and will pray for you if you like. i'm still v grateful to you for that reiki healing you sent me when i was in labour. have discovered that i'd have to have a c section if i had another baby, so in some ways that makes me quite keen.... haven't mentioned this to dh yet though, but maybe i should while he's still in the besotted stage.

sorry to hear about dom's wind. alex is quite windy too and struggles to burp a lot of the time. he does do some spectacular farts however! i've started drinking fennel tea in the hopes that will filter through to him. i tried the gripe water, but it was incredibly sweet and a very strong flavour - it made him vomit, yuck. i think i'll give him some cooled fennel tea and see if that helps. i've bought some abc dophilus pro biotics with a view to adding them to weaning foods, but i'm unsure about the dosage. how much do you give dom?

rach
grrr at your ds's interfering judgemental old bag of a teacher. some people!

i'm with you on wanting to keep them babies forever. i don't like alex in any dark clothes at all, but he's now in size 6-9 months, so i don't know how much longer i'll be able to find clothes i like for him. so many thing seem so grown up looking.

sweetkit
what did you order for your sil's birthday (just call me nosy!)?

alex is like talia in that he loves to be carried too. i've bought a hippy chick seat to save my back and it's great. he's getting too heavy for the sling already!

sorry to hear you had to go to the dentist. we managed to miss our family appointment in feb, just got the bill for £15 grrr. you'd have thought they'd give me a bit of leeway what with having a new baby and all.

barrelrider
sorry to hear about your pnd, but so glad you're getting some treatment. prozac worked really well for me when i was ill with depression a couple of years ago, just made me feel normal after a few initial side effects.

georgie
i love your posts, they always make me giggle. libby sounds so cute, must look at the yahoo website again and see all our gorgeous babies, and must, must, must take some photos of alex, we haven't really got any decent ones yet - 3rd child syndrome i guess, we just seem to be too busy. i loved somebody's idea of making a little album for mother's day, don't think i'll manage it by next weekend, but i'll give it a try.
we have a screamer showing at a cinema near us too. some of the girls from nct have been and said it was good, but i haven't made it yet. we do have a trip planned next weds evening sans babes, so we'll see how dh gets on with a bottle! alex doesn't really have a bed time yet, i prefer the flexibility of taking him with me if i'm going out atm, but he def seems to get v tired around 9.30, so will have to sort out a bed time routine at some point.

things are generally going well here in manchester. alex is feeding and growing well, on weds he was 14lb 7oz at 9 weeks old, sticking nicely to his 91st centile line. he's very long (63cms) and getting satisfyingly chunky too. sleeping is unpredictable, but he can go 7 hours now and again at night. teething pain seems to be bothering him at the moment - lots of dribbling and v high pitched v distressing screams of pain at times. i'm hopelessly soft and can't bear to hear it. neurofen seems to work better than calpol so far. they can only have 3 doses in 24 hours though, so i might top up with calpol if needs be.

i'm loving having older children (13 and 10) and a baby. it's just so nice having company most of the time. and they can be really helpful with the baby and around the house. dd is much more willing than ds to do housework, but we're trying to make things fairer by getting a proper pocket money scheme going.

i've started back to doing some gentle exercise. i am so out of shape! i was pretty fat when i got pg, so i'm back to pre- pg weight, but it would be good to lose a couple of stone and get back to 11 stone or less. it's really easy to feel frumpy and mumsy in bf clothes i find. i'm doing yoga on saturdays, the only thing i do regularly without alex, and it's a lovely oasis of me time. it's mainly relaxation and lots of pelvic floor exercises, just what i need at the moment. i also went back to aqua natal for the first time yesterday, and it felt lovely to have a swim. alex was a bit restless at first, but they have a student midwife and pool staff to look after the babies so it was ok. looking at all the pg women made me feel so glad not to be pg any more.

the local leisure centre also do a special ante and post natal aerobics session, which i tried on weds. you can take your baby along, so it's a bit chaotic, but great to meet other mums and start to work on that jelly belly (and jelly thighs and wobbly bum etc etc ...!).

phew, bit of a novel there, but haven't had chance to post in ages.

take care all of you and thanks for being there x

Morning

Here's my question for the day.....

Who do you own up to fancying, that you really shouldn't?

1. Martin Sheen (Judge John Deed especially)
2. Max Beesly in Hotel Babylon
3. Nick Knowles

C'mon, we need some fun.

G xx

Elly, why are you posting on the Jan 06 thread when you have a five-month-old baby?

This is your first post on MN, unless you've changed your name...

To advertise Gina Ford?

The cynic in me...well, whatever workds for you, I guess!

Hi ladies, not had a chance to read all the messages, but just wanted to say hello. James is getting beautifully chubby now and his favourite place is on the boob or asleep in the hugabub I have - love that sling!

Hunker - I was thinking the exact same thing but didn't want to comment, I really don't like Gina Ford far too restrictive, what if you have another baby to get ready etc or you want to go out when it's naptime etc. I will gently ease Talia into our family routine at some point. Don't think Gina likes BFing too much either.

Talia is doing well asleep in her swing nightimes are getting a bit more predictable so starting to feel a bit more human. She's 58cms and was 11lbs 11ozs but that was over 3 weeks ago so probably about 13lbs by now. At M&T yesterday people couldn't believe she was only 7 weeks, shes so alert as well and throws her head all over the place to get a better look at things. So different to her sister who was just happy to be snuggled and held. Suppose it's because Talia had a 4 week start on her. Was looking at baby pics of them both the other night and they are very alike. Both have my eyes - poor DP. We thought at one point Talia's were going to go brown but I think they are staying blue. What's everyone else LO's eyes doing? When do they change colour?

Georgie - I must admit I have a thing for older men DP teases me that I love Johnny Allen!
I have a thing for:

1. Actor that played Owen in Holby City
2. George Clooney
3. Sean Bean

Lyra - ended up buying sis-in-law a Japanese book and a t-shirt with a Japanese saying on it, will get some choccies from the girls too. Next weekend is DP and I's 11th anniversary (not that we are married of just being together eek) so SIL is coming up to babysit for a few hours so we can have a meal out. Will have to check out the hippy chick seat (am also v nosy) have put my coory and carry sling up for sale as I couldn't get on with it and Talia just screamed the place down when she was in it, she loves the Baby Bjorn though.

Whats everyone elses plans for mothers day? Last year was my first mothers day and it was lovely, DD1 gave me a pair of Tiffany earrings (the child has taste what can I say?) won't be expecting that this year though.

Iris - glad you are feeling better re your DH, mine is going away overnight on business next month and I am dreading it.

Hope everyone else and their beautiful squidgy bundles are doing well.

Afternoon all. DH did the night shift last night allowing me to get drunk for the first time (needless to say I have now given up the BF struggle, it wasn't getting anywhere), and then sleep right thru the night. I fel like a new woman today.
Re Gina Ford, before the birth I fully intended to try and do her routine, but that soon went out the window. Lola quickly got into a good routing of her own and I was loathe to disrupt that. GF does seem very restrictive now that I know the reality of having a baby (with Lola being my first before the birth I was a wee bit clueless)
I went to see the doc yesterday coz I've beeen getting some pain inside around the CS area so she's given me a course of anti-biotics in case it's still a bit infected. She asked me about BF and that set me off in floods of tears. I told her what had been happening and it turns out she had exactly the same problem, baby who wouldn't latch, resulting low supply, tried the same drugs to increase supply etc and got just as depressed. She was therefore really understanding and just let me have a good cry. She's also put me back on all my Diabetes pills now that I'm not trying to BF and some other pills that are supposed to help dissolve gallstones (I'm on the waiting list for the op but thats likely to be 6 months and I get a lot of bad attacks). In order to work out the dose for them she had to weigh me, and I was thrilled to bits to be 1lb under my pre-pregnancy weight. I gained about 2 and a half stone while pregnant so am chuffed to bits to be back down only 9 weeks later. I'm still hugely overweight, at 20st 1lb but intend to keep trying to lose more as I'd like to have 3-4 stone off before they put me under general anaesthetic for the gall bladder op in 6 mths.
Poor DH is currently fast asleep on the sofa, bless him, one night shift with Lola and he's wiped out! She's a good sleeper, feeding at approx 12, 4 and 8 but it's still really exhausting being unable to get uninterrupted sleep. I spose I must be used to it now, but he's not poor soul. Hopefully these Friday night stints will make him appreciate the fact that I manage to get anything done while he's out at work at all!

Old silly knockers here meant Martin Shaw, not Martin Sheen - doh

It's amazing what a reaction Gina Ford generates. Guess you either love her or loathe her. Got to say that as far as I'm concerned it's great if you take with a pinch of salt. Her feeding times (no diff to those that our mums were taught -6am,10,2,6pm,10,2) allow you to structure your day around older childrens school runs, tea times etc. Libs doesn't nap when she's 'supposed' to, but she's having a lovely long nap from 11 - 2pm most days now and is much better for it.

Anyhoo, I guess you just do what you ned to do to get thru the day with the minimum of stress.

Talking of which, you've got to read the thread on the home page about the worst day you've had with a toddler. I was crying with laughter.

Hi there - well, DH has gone but promised to e-mail & phone regularly so it's roll on 10th April He's due back the same the day as my dad's op (which was deferred a week) so it'll be a very positive day all round I hope.

Lyra grateful for your prayers - dad's very down at the mo & keeps eating things he shouldn't. His sugar was 26 the other day but he just wont listen & neither will my mum. Trouble is that they are of the age where sweet=treat & so she keeps buying all the wrong stuff (popcorn/rice pud/marsbars etc )to compensate for his/their misery. You can only say "you're killing yourselves" so much

Exercising already!!! I sooooo hate exercise. Even the pelvic floors are an effort ( but I had to start doing them again as I started to feel like my bits were falling inside out ) I really need to do something about the wibbly mass that is my stomach but just can't summon the enthusiasm to find out about any classes (iris logic - if I don't know about the classes then I can't feel guilty about not going ) I am such a lazy mare and I know I'm going to pay for it but slobbing around with Dominic is just more fun (we do go for walks every day though so I suppose I'm perhaps not quite as bad as I make out )

Hunkermunker didn't occur to me to question (how's that for a post pg brain!) I personally think GF can only be done if you're bottle feeding & so know they've eaten a good amount. I can't/won't impose a feeding schedule on Dom as I don't see how it'd benefit him. However, I am going to try to get him into a better sleep pattern as on the few days that he's had around 4 hrs during the day he's so much happier. Good to see you btw & glad you & James are well.

Georgie

1.Nick Knowles (ooh yes please - love a man that's good with his hands)
and 2. - huge confession.....Robbie Coltrane (but only as Cracker - complex/intelligent men/characters really do it for me)

1. Gordon Ramsay / Robson Green (poles apart I know but I wouldn't close the door if either popped in to borrow some sugar )

Lisa - lucky you on the night out and fab news about the weight loss. Glad you have such a lovely GP too. it makes all the difference when they have some actual experience of your issues doesn't it. Has Lola gone back to her enviously serene self now after her jabs?

Sweetkitty - re mothers day prezzie. DH took me to town on Thu & got me a gorgeous new eternity ring (my fingers swelled up really badly in labour & I handed mine to him in the delivery suite & it vanished out of his pocket & off the face of the earth)so that's my (massiveand probablyforthenexttenyears)treat. DD usually makes me a beautiful card & brekkie in bed so I'm really looking forward to that.

Barrelrider - PMSL at your "not healed yet but thinking about TTC in 2007" mad mad mad I think I'm only considering another because I healed so quickly! Still, I have to convince DH yet. He came home the other day with "a years supply of condoms" ie a box of 12!!! cheeky sod!!!

Rach - I take it DS's teacher never had siblings/children of her own/knowledge of the real world miserable old bag.

Has everyone who is, decided when they're going back to work yet? Someone asked me the other day & I said May (no idea why - clearly my brain is on autopilot at the mo!) but In reality it'll probably be July, part time. I know it's going to come around quickly though

Anyway - waffle over. Hope you all have a good weekends x

hi iris, one handed typing here post 4pm feed so please excuse the lack of caps. I can so sympathise with your dad, its not easy keeping your sugar down when all you wanna do is eat things you shouldn't. when i was first diagnosed my sugar was often over 30 in the late evening. During the pregnancy i was able to keep it largely under 7.5 with the aid of huge doses of insulin but i suspect now i'm off that it's gone haywire again. i've got a fasting BS test Weds morning so will find out what the damage is then.

in general lola's back to her usual self except around her 8pm feed every night when she has a wee screaming fit for about half an hour. can usually settle her in her pram/car seat and after a half hour nap she's back to herself and ready to finish her feed.

re people you don't generally admit to fancying - jack nicholson and tommy lee jones

Lisa - sorry if my post was a bit blunt. Just to clarify, I can sympathise with my dad (albeit only to a point)as I had gestational diabetes -and had a right battle to avoid being put on insulin, but he's been on it for over 10 years and has previously done really well. It's like he's just given up & handed all responsibility for his food to my mum who has a dreadful sweet tooth so buys tons of sweet stuff & either puts temptation in his way or actively encourages him to eat badly. Her favourite saying is "ooh a little bit won't hurt" trouble is, it does .

Glad that Lola's back to fabbiness now & hope your test goes ok. I'm expecting to be called in for mine soon too.

Does your DH have to go away much as he's in the army? Must be awful when it's months at a time. I wouldn't know what to do with myself.

PS Jack Nicholson ?!! he's "Mr scary eyebrow man" to me

Morning all, the following is going to be completely selfish and probably slightly confusing, however I just needed to air my thoughts and thought I would find symapathetic ears...

I'm at my mums house for the weekend to celebrate my birthday, last night my little sister came down mobile in hand annoucning it was my cousin Lorraine on the phone. She's from my fathers side of the family (I have a different dad to my 2 sisters), and we've not spoken to that side of the family in a long while...turns out she'd sat outside our old family home (moved 2 years ago), asking people if anyone knew how to contact us. She then goes on to reveal my father is in hospital in Glouster critically ill with liver failure. Why? Because despite doctors advice he continued to drink, because he's an alcoholic and has continually allowed drink to destroy his life. My father was an intelligent man, unfortunatley he screwed around and left when I was young. Contact and communication were always sporadic, and the last time I saw him was at his mothers funeral (I attended it to support him, even asking him toavoid the booze so we could talk-which was later thrown back in my face by my cousin who told me "You have no right totry and controlyour dad,you think you're so much better than us, but you're worse" (WTF?).

I am my father's only daughter, he did remarry (and she cheated on him another event which contributed to his depression!). She had three children, who he took on, and I always sort of resented this (he could make the effort with them, but not me...?!). During my pregnancy I did write him a letter, as I realised how important children were, and although I don't think I'll ever be able to understand how he let his only biological link to this world slip away, I also accepted he had made decisions (ones for which he is now suffering) and as an adult I was now able to make decisions..Unfortunately we didn't have any contact details for him (apart from his interfering wife (they are separated but still married!) and I knew if I sent the letter there she'd read it.)

Now, he's possibly going to die, and I have no idea how this fact makes me feel. I'm angry because I know he was once a good, intelligent man and he's allowed drink to ruin that. Yet I also know he's an addict and a coward.. Regardless however, he now has a granddaughter (my cousin was informed of this last night so hopefully it will be relayed to him). I'm hoping to find out more info today, but after a sleepless night I'm none the wiser as to what I should do.

If I visit him I have to contend with the rest of the family, none of whom I want anything to do with (they are all alcoholics/drug users/criminals and will cause trouble at any given opportunity!). I will also potentially make my father feel worse (he was taken ill on my birthday, not sure if that's a coincidence!). I will also have to potentially deal with seeing him then loosing him...however, if I don't try to visit him Ifear I will always regret not making the effort and hiding behind the belief that he should have made more of an effort and perhaps I would have.

ARG :( I don't know.
I hope you are all well, I've got to go feed Bee, I'll try and update if I find out anymore!
Thanks for listening (kind of).
xxx

Hi all,

Sorry I've not been on in ages but dd just has me run off my feet with ds as well!!

lilstarry I just wanted to say I can sympathise with your situation. My dad and I didn't have the best of relationships for numering reasons. He died from cancer almost a year ago today, very sudden at the time as he was supposed to be doing ok but died within ten days of the family being told. Anyway, just wanted to say that whilst I was angry with him for a lot of things I regret not saying things I should of. I'm not saying you will but if it was me I would go see him.

Iris hope things go ok without your DH and that your dad is ok.

Hope the rest of you are doing ok. Anyhow, I must dash. DS needs collecting from his friends... the joys

Ange

PS It's Richard Gere for me

Hi there Lilstarry -
God, what an awful situation. Im not sure that I can offer any great advice, other than to follow your intuition. if you feel that you need to see your dad, then do so, if not then don't. And I suppose most importantly, don't kick yourself for the decision that you make. If you do want to see him, could you take someone with you for moral support and to keep the rellies off your back?

DH's mum has demnetia and is dying of breast cancer (they refused to operate due to her dementia and she's now just drifting away in a morphine haze).He;s completely torn up at the fact that his mum is now a shadow of her former self and he perfers to remember her the way she was. Mybe it's better for you to remember the better times with your dad? Or maybe seeing him will enable you to gain closure on what must have been/still is a very painful part of your life.

I don't think it's a decision that anyone can make for you. But talking about it and getting some feedback from your nearest and dearest will hopefully allow you to make a choice that is right for you.

Not sure of any of this has helped in the slightest, but my thoughts are with you at this difficult time. G xx

lilstarry1 - what an awful situation for you Georgie has given good advice & pretty much said it all IMHO. The only thing I'd add is(and forgive me for saying it but it is my maxim for life) it's better to regret something you have done, than something you haven't

Lilstarry my heart goes out to you... I can't begin to imagine how difficult this is for you, what a horrible situation. FWIW I completely agree with Iris - I always try to be brave when faced with a difficult choice in the belief that when I am old and grey I will look back on my life and only have regrets about all the things I didn't do.

I think the risk of possibly making your father feel worse by visiting him seems small in comparison to the possibility of you struggling to come to terms with not seeing him for a last time, and offloading some of the stuff that you put in the letter that was never sent.

Hope that makes sense. Know that our thoughts are with you whatever you decide.

Hello again... HUGE thank you for all the support and general words of wisdom! It has been a real help ... I decided to go and visit my dad, knowing in my heart I'd never forgive myself if he died and I hadn't at least tried to make some effort. We drove there yesterday, the good news is, he's conscious.. but apart from that it was all pretty awful :( Although, he has a good chance of surviving IF he can pull through the next few days and survive the operations they need to perform. His liver is completely damaged beyond repair, but if he never has another drink again he can live. He'll never be fully healthy, and he's going to need constant care... but I suppose that's better than nothing?! He looked terrible, but not as bad as I'd been anticipating. He was happy to see me and Bee too, although he was rather confused and kept referring to her as him...

I'm worried about him, not just because he's ill but because he's in a pretty terrible situation. The 'wife' I mentioned (the one who screwed around, filed for divorce and generally impacted on his happiness), was at the hospital (despite being asked to stay away whilst we visited so as not to overwhelm my father!) she's playing the 'dutiful wife' and has even named herself as my dads next of kin, so all the doctors are keeping her up to date and no one else. She's a compulsive liar and my mum and my dads twin brother are both convinced she's only there for a free meal ticket. What my dad needs is professional help to address the psychological factors that led him to such an awful place, without which there's very little guarentee he'll be able to abstain! However, she's determined he's going to go and live in her filthy house with her messed up family (they have 4 dogs, 30!!! cats, a son with ADHD who self harms [not his fault but not exactly a calming situation] and a 16yo dd who is sleeping with a 30 year old and whom instigated a massive argument between my dad and wifey before!) If he goes there I know he'll be looked after physically, but I also know he'll be suffering emotionally and pyschologically. He'll also be completely trapped by a rather malicious woman...

So that's the situation, I am thankful that he may pull through, but emotional and completely confused by everything else... I feel angry and sad, just when I was finding the rhythm of motherhood (after meningitis, house moves and all the other fun things that happened last year), this comes along and really complicates matters.

Thanks for listening again, I hope you are all well and the babies are providing love and joy (thank goodness Bee is here, her smiles bring me so much happiness!)
Love to you all xxx

Hi all, taking so long to get up to speed as usual – I don’t know where the hours go. Does anyone else have a duvet day every now and then? (or am I the only lazy bugger who is able to?! I feel like some kind of aged queen receiving my subjects in my bed – er the kids that is!)

This morning…
4am Finn wakes for a feed
5am Dp wakes for an early shift
6am Ds1 wakes as usual (and also wakes Billy)
7am Ds2 and dd wake…
8.30am They’re all gone and I’m still awake! Decide to stay in bed till lunchtime (only got up now because dp due home soon )

Finn was 13lb 2oz at his 8 week check and 61cm long – just on 91% centile, not piling the weight on anymore but quite happy on the boob despite me going all lop-sided for some reason.

Lilstarry – so sorry to hear about your dad – the others have given really good advice and I think you were right to see him (however painful) because you may not have forgiven yourself later. My dad has had stroke-induced dementia for 7 years now and has survived prostate cancer, pneumonia and septicaemia despite being virtually a vegetable. I wish I could have said all the things I didn’t when he could still understand me and it certainly makes me openly express my emotion with my kids both physically and verbally. I really hope things improve for him and that you can keep in touch without too much grief.

Mum21 – are you ok, how is the new nursery?

Loomer – our probiotics (or maybe placebo?) are like trying to feed a baby sherbet out of one of those skinny straws! Not doing very well as they always seem to be in the fridge when I’ve already sat down to feed him!

Iris – hope you are fine without DH, fingers crossed for your dad too.

Lyra – big cheer for getting in a swimsuit! :) Don’t talk to me about dentists, just missed out on signing up for one 2 doors away! I thought I was ok with mine but he is going private now and wants £15 for adults and £3-5 each for the kids a month!!! And this is only gives you a 20% discount on treatment!!! Managed to squeeze us in with a new NHS (but for how long?) practice so that I can at least get the benefit of my own free year of treatment post-baby.

Lisa – my wound still isn’t totally healed on the outside – some oozing but all I get is ‘keep it clean and dry..’ how exactly? I need a tummy tuck first to find it! Don’t you just hate that numb tum feeling?

Re: wrong fancying – anyone with a French accent (and that includes Gerard Depardieu if it was dark ) or Irish (especially Shane Lynch from Boyzone without the excessive tattoos!)

Hope everyone else and their babes are ok :)

OK, so, the sleep thing, how does that work then ?!?! 7pm - 11 then until 3 is fine but I just can't leave him to cry when he wakes up (almost hourly) after that. I went to bed at 8.30 last night so at least I did have some sleep. I felt so guilty leaving DD on her tod though but I was utterly pooped.

I took Dom to be weighed today at the mums & babies group (12lb 14oz - 75th centile all round) & realised just how shy I seem to have become! Everyone seems to be quite happy chatting amongst themselves but I just clam up or go into a nervous hyperdrive - how daft is that! I'm fine with new clients & anything on a professional front but this has really thrown me - mad! I got the HV to put some silver nitrate stuff on his belly button whilst we were there as it's got a sticky bit in the middle that's still there from the umbilical cord. The MW pulled it off when she discharged us & I'm inclined to think that's what caused it.

Aren't the grins & gurgles lovely! I even managed to get some pictures of Dom smiling the other day (on Yahoo) He's got a pram toy from the ELC (big pink flower with a mirror underneath & fluffy insects hanging off it) that he absolutely loves. It's hanging off a drawer handle over him in his bouncy chair at the mo & he's batting it all over the place with his legs going in a pump action frenzy I can't believe he's 9 weeks already!!

We've had to put Millie on a diet. I think I may have been feeding her twice in my sleepless blur as all of a sudden I've noticed she's turned into a barrel & keeps falling over when she tries to run round a corner in the kitchen (it's really comical but I feel humungously guilty)

Lilstarry - really pleased that you're ok & that you're sorting stuff out with your dad It's obviously a really hard time for you so glad you've got your darling Bee to keep you sane and loved up

best off & try to prepare some grup for later before himself wakes up.

hi everyone got a spare (ha ha) 5 minutes so thought I would catch up with everyone. Last night went like this Talia is grissly in the evening so we all go to bed at 10pm, feed her and fall asleep sitting up on the bed (oh git the new one delivered yesterday it is lovely very comfy the old one was in a terrible state and it's only 3 years old and wasn't cheap ) anyway Talia wakes at 3 for a feed then is grissly about 5 so has another feed, 6am one of the bloody cats is trying to get into the linen cupboard so the thud wakes Abbie so she is up from 6am and Talia is up at 8am, am completely shattered. Have decided to pull Talia's last feed forward to 8pm when she is 12 weeks, thought I would get the jabs over with first and her stoamch will be a bit bigger by then. She does love her playgym, not too keen in being in the travel cot though but likes being in the centre of the floor for some reason but it's difficult with a toddler.

Rach - am so so jealous of your duvet days I'm lucky if I can manage a quick 30 mins afternoon nap these days.

Iris - lol at your dog on a diet I've got a cat like that. I've kind of given up trying to ration his food as we have tried everything to no success. Think dogs will be easier to lose weight though as you can exercise them.

lilstarry - so sorry to hear about your Dad, am glad you went to see him. I hope he sees sense and quits the booze and you manage some sort of reconcilliation.

Hope everyone else is doing ok better go Abbie is posting Tesco computers for schools vouchers through the letter box and Talia has woke up demanding food - oh the joys!