Feb 2011: the one where the babies are destruction machines

[ChestnutsREASTIEingOnTheFire]

...or is that just mine?

i think we're getting freya a ride on and some mega bloks for her birthday and i'm making her a giant cupcake graffiti cake which i can eat for her .
I keep looking for free e books online as i'm not sure if my new readery thingy will accept kindle editions. Only ordered it today so i won't get it till next week.

I don't really spoil dh normally as his birthday is so near to xmas i never have any money, so it'll be nice for him to have something he won't expect. I have already talked to his bf about it and he said he can't wait to shoot dh in the arse a little bromance going on there i think

Hi all
You chat alot! You all must come out at night and sleep all day!

Wigges, I love my Kindle too! Am currently reading Diane Chamberlain books but have bought a few new books for it so can't put it down at the moment!

Well done Debs on starting 5k. I was doing really well before I became pregnant with Noah, but had to stop because I had a few bleeding the first 12 weeks. Would love to go back to it but will probably wait until the Spring or Summer cos it's too cold and miserable outside at the moment!

Blizy, Zoe knows she is always in your heart, I hope all our words have helped. Glad you had an ok Xmas and hope you enjoyed your drinkies last night.

Borg, I love reading your posts! Well done to your dh!

American, I think Reastie is back at work next week too. Its hard going back but I feel like I've never been away from work now!

Dh nan got Noah a scuttlebug, he sits on it for about 5 seconds then cries! I'm sure it'll be great when where gets used to it. We also have an old Tombliboos ride on that was Bens, up in the loft.

Wish I could remember all the posts from the previous page but have a terrible memory so can't comment on them.

Happy New Year to y'all! I hope 2012 brings you everything you could wish for.

Emski and wiggles I too am in love with the kindle. I am reading Diane chamberlain too , I bought breaking the silence for 99p I loved it and have started on the midwives confession.

Happy new year to you all, hope you have a fab time whatever you do.

Happy New Year lovely Feb ladies! I am awaiting the arrival of the pil and it has just taken 40mins to settle A but I have nice food ready for scoffing soon - am getting my sense of taste back yay!

Thank you all for being so fab and supportive during this past year, don't know what I would have done without you all (really!) lots of love xx

My internet connection is feckin' about, so am popping on now to say Happy New Year my friends and I hope 2012 is all that we want it to be xxx

Have a lovely evening and hope not too sore a head in the morning. Like ponyo (btw I'm awaiting a Mayan update ) thanks for all your support and listening ears xxxx

Hi all, thanks for pressie ideas - she has a sit on thingy we picked up from freecycle already . I'm now debating asking people (if they ask me) for money so we can get alice a swing for the garden - I've found a nice one that converts from a baby swing to a child swing that would be fabulouso . We had to go out today and buy a trunk for Alice's toys as she has so many. I've painted it so it's all ready to be filled tomorrow. Also will put Alice's painted furniture in her room tomorrow and find out if 'fairy wings pink' was a bit mistake

ponyo yes, please tell all re: this mayan thing (or is your MIL making up excuses to come over ). When I hear the word maya or mayan I think of green and blacks maya gold

We are debating a kindle here but tbh I never have any time to read anymore must stop mning

wiggles DH likes fantasy (as in sci fi ) books - I'll have a nosey at what he's been reading

Just need to vent re: MIL. Have been having a few issues I haven't bored you with posted about recently as trying to hold back but I'm really feeling my upset build up and I've started crying at night again just feeling stressed about her. There's never a time when I don't feel pressure from her camp. I think if DH was on my side I could cope but it's got to the stage where he's on her side and I'm the bad guy. As my Mum said, I have no idea what she's saying to DH when I'm not around and knowing her she's been fibbing to get him on side. I just can't take it. Whenever they go away for the week end or I know they're busy I breath a sigh of relief that I won't have to see them and then start stressing about the next visit. She makes me so jittery when she visits it takes me the rest of the day to calm down. It's honestly not just me that thinks this - pretty much everyone I know who knows her aside from her DH and my DH think the same (including her other DS). Honestly I think my pnd is much worse because of all this worry and stress. So today I find out DH is planning a trip out with Alice and MIL on my first day back at work - I know this is nothing and I shouldn't worry and usually I would be OK about it, and I don't mind in principal, it's just the way MIL operates to organise things (everything is behind my back to DH) and I feel so wobbly about going back to work and leaving Alice with MIL one day a week (DH off anyway for my first 2 weeks so he's in charge supposedly with no MIL). It just feels like the second I'm gone she's swooping in and I just need lots of reassurance and normality - the thought of leaving alice is awful - the thought of my first day back leaving her (and I WILL be tearful I know) and having MIL weaselling her way in is akign things so much more hard. I realise you don't know the full story and I come across as the worlds worst DIL, I just can't cope with her anymore, and I can't cope with DH not supporting me and being able to talk to him about it - if he understood and could see what she is really like I could manage. SOrry for rant I just find this so hard

Oh reastie sweetheart that's so horrible that you are feeling so bad, it is insensitive for want of a better word for MIL to spend the day with Alice and your dh on your first day back. I'm so sorry that dh isn't on your side with regards to his Mum. Is he a favourite?

Please promise me that you won't "hold back" from us when things get so bad, honestly I witter on all the time, I couldn't be arsed with holding back.

I know you find MIL exceptionally hard work and it is horrible and exceptionally undermining if you feel that she may be twisting things when she talks to your dh. He should be supporting you. She sounds really high maintenance. There a few threads on MN about toxic parents that I have nosyed at (I can have a fraught relationship with my Mum sometimes), you should have a read if you get the chance xxxx

, I'm sorry you are feeling so down. I'm really not the best person for advice at the minute but I want you to know that I am here to listen anytime. You are such an amazing woman and fantastic mother to Alice, always remember that. X

Happy new year all

Reastie, I'm sorry your feeling so rubbish re mil. Can I be honest with you? Ok,here goes. I think you need to start your anti D's. You have PND, it's getting worse because of mil, but will get better if you take the pills. I find that altho my mil still gets to me I no longer cry about it because my ad's take the edge off everything. You sound like your in a viscous circle. I imagine she's excited about having Alice and dh to herself, I know my mil is the same and seems to need to feel included, it's sad really that some mil's have to be behave this way. Does dh know how you really feel? Do you tell him everything? Please don't ever feel you can't post your true feelings on here, we're all here for each other.

Well, our New Year has started well. Miracle of miracles, Noah is still asleep! And Ben wore pants to bed last night for the first time and didn't wet the bed! Yippee!
Taking our Xmas tree down today, just makes the house look untidy now!

reastie - I second what Emski said. Maybe once the PND is out of the equation, you'll have a new perspective on everything. That's not to say your MIL isn't being unreasonable, just the PND may be making it seem worse than it is. Did you speak to the HV about your concerns with the drug the GP prescribed? If you're still worrying, maybe make another appt with a different GP. Are you getting any time to yourself? I know it was a problem in the past and you need some YOU time.

Morning all for last night. It all got on top of me and I'm afraid I had to get it out there. I did speak to DH at length about it. It turns out his brother has told him some stuff he hadn't told me about (and wouldn't expand) re: his Mum and I had a couple of examples for him that he couldn't shrug off as me thinking the worst and I was probably wrong (which is his usual line of defence). So he actually now accepts his Mum does lie and manipulate and that I would find this frustrating. The thing that he can't get his head around though is why it upsets me and bothers me. He thinks so long as we put up with it and she doesn't cause any actual physical harm by what she does (although mental games are fine ) it shouldn't bother me. Is this just a mans perspective or AIBU?

Hope you all had a good seeing in of the new year. As usual, I was asleep

We've now put the pink furniture in Alices room and it looks, erm, as if it would be trendy circa 1985

Re: medication I was going to start taking it but then thought I could cope. For many reasons I've avoided it. I have accepted now at least it might be worth trying (this is a step forward) however I really don't want to start right before I go back to work - when I've taken them before they have zoinked me out for a few weeks and left me exhausted all the time and I need all the energy I can muster for the next few weeks. I've decided if I take them I will start in half term to at least give me a week to ease me into them without working. That's only about 6 weeks away.

Tipping down with rain here

ponyo I am awaiting with great excitement the mayan update

Ah reastie, don't be embarrassed. It's good that you take it through with Dh, he sounds like mine btw. Same sort of stuff with fil manipulating.

I'm not doing so good, I can't get my head around that Zoe has been left in 2011. I know she will always be with me but 2011 was her year, the year I met and held her. I don't want to move on. Dh does not understand this, I had a break down over it all on Friday, it was horrible. I was having panic attacks all night and he was shouting at me because he didn't k ow what to do. I never. Ever want to be in that place again, it was terrifying.

We are having a Harry potter and steak pie day, however mil is trying her best to get us to go to her brothers house for a party

Glad your feeling a bit better Reastie,good dh can recognise his mothers way, just a shame he thinks you can ignore it.

Blizy, I think I can see what you mean about leaving Zoe behind in 2011. I can imagine that although you want to feel better you kind of want to still hurt as it keeps her with you. She will always be part of you and be with you, I really hope 2012is a special year for you.

We've been to @ Bristol today as in laws bought us a years membership for Xmas. It was really good. Dh is taking the Xmas tree down now, while Noah wrecks the living room and Ben watches Never Ending Story.

Hope you are all ok

reastie I remember bp-before prozac-everything felt like a much bigger deal.So much so that during the night i would feel all panicky about how i would cope in the morning with just "stuff" getting Els to school etc. It is so much better now,i even have perspective with pil,they still annoy me immensly but they are in my life cos dh loves them so i just have to occasionally out up with them but only on my terms.When you are feeling well again you will be able to distance yourself more easily.
We have been with them all weekend and yesterday they were doing my head in hanging about taking ages to get ready top vist Grandma who lives fecking miles away,Ella was tired and jealous and we didnt feel like getting stuck in the car for hours so i took control.I just told them i was going to do something with Ella and told them why-the truth.We drove off to Romford for Ice skating and pizza why they took Dills to vist gps,twas fabby.That is my technique now,i dont always have to be around for them.
Pm me with why you are putting off your ads,dont forget i used to be an rmn,maybe i can put your mind at ease.

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE.

I also go back to work on the 9th.Im ok about it cos am used to it really and will be nice to have the money.

I am a big fat pig and am starting the diet as soon as all the goodies have gone,i keep pushing them on dh.

blizy I can understand that too.I wish i had the right words but in truth are there any?

Dilly now rushes towards a ringing phone at top speed shouting "hiya" its so funny.She says hiya to everyone and when we were walking along she says it to passers by,one man said it back really casually

Looking forward to ab fab tonight.We are fresh in from pils and enjoying being home,im listening to a pirate station that plays funky house and having a boogie with Dills whilst drinking a rose

Oh yes.Just so you dont suffer withdrawls.
Pil started to faffa bout dinner at around 5 yesterday,what do we want,when ,how etc etc.He went on and fucking on in his weasly voice,i was so irritated cos id eaten a pizza and get grimacing at dh.
This morning he started banging on about breakfast too,but we'd all had it haha.

blizy . I really feel for you. My DH reacts the same way - the more upset I get and need lots of hugs the more annoyed and frustrated he gets as he just doesn't know what to do or say. I hope you're feeling a little better now. I hadn't thought about the new year in the way you put it but it completely makes sense. Enjoy Harry P and steak pie.

ledkr glad you survived the PILs. Re: ab fab - I saw the other episode on at chrimbo - now please help me with something - is the point that they are mostly acting really terribly in it or are they actually bad actors? It all looked so staged and acted IYKWIM but I'm not sure if that's the point Btw I am at you ice skating - I love love love ice skating but last time I went was 3 or 4 years ago at kew gardens. Can't wait fo r Alice to be big enough for things like that

ems what is @bristol?

I can't remember if I said but big to borg I missed your witty comments and thought you had done a runner from us

Oh - forgot to say - DH is being a great pfber at the min - he's put horrible looking pipe insulation foamy stuff all over the hot water pipes in the bathroom incase Alice touches it and hurts her hands . It looks so ugly! My thoughts were if it's hot she'd let go and not do it again

We are off to a day trip to a castle tomorrow - can't wait . DH and I usually do a nice day trip together somewhere in the first week in jan, this place has a big toddler playground and a falconry to keep Alice excited . Tbh I don't really care where we go - it's just nice for a change of scene all together.

Oh yes, forgot to say - my local freecycle earlier had an entry saying 'wanted: autistic son' . It's now been taken down how random

Hello all, well I can't believe some of you are back at work soon - it seemed like it was ages ago that I started back and you had months left, how time flies. How are people feeling about it and are any babies going into nursery?

ledkr nice to see you and at Dilly saying hiya, very funny. A will hold the phone to her ear if I say hello? and hand it to her, well I say ear but she usually puts it on her head Pil sound the same as ever, you sound v chilled about it though which is good.

blizy I'm so sorry - I can understand you feeling like that about Z and as I'm sure you're aware the next couple of months will no doubt be tough ones, I don't have the right words either but you and Z are often in my thoughts and if it helps tell us how you're feeling? xx Panic attack sounds bloody terrifying, my mate got something from the docs that she can take if she feels one coming on - don't know if you would want to try that?

reastie yes and yes to what others esp ledkr have said - enjoy your day out tomo and at the freecycle Love the idea of A being keot entertained by falcons, tell your pfb dh to mind the claws!

Well we survived pil visit - I went to bed before 12 and left them with dp, for those interested the mayan thing is something to do with energies, and uprisings, and they'll be more uprisings this year. To be honest I had had some wine by then mil is a bit 'woo' and into crystals and auras and things, thats fine but don't keep on about it Will think of some more bits for you all later.

I have spent most of my evening on rightmove looking for somewhere nice tomove, I don't actually know where but got chased down the street yesterday by some rude boy telling me he was going to fuck me up after I told him to fuck off when he blocked my way and was muttering at me looking me up and down. I had to walk away quickly ignoring him and went into dunelm to wait until he'd gone, I don't get scared easily but this has bothered me. It was right over the road from my house and now I don't really want to go out with A there - she wasn't with me thank god. Am considering posting about it in feminism - I don't see why I should put up with men being sleazy, its not a compliment imho, but this is the first time something like this has happened.

Anyway ignore me blabbing on - off to see how our roast chicken with indian spices is coming on

ponyo at self medicating with wine! Its horrible when you don't feel safe in your own street/home. Go for it with the move.

reastie enjoy tomorrow, its bloody freezing here. When we were kids my Mum and Dad used to pack us in the car on New Years Day and take us to the beach for a picnic . Me and my sister used to complain about it bitterly but now its one of our favourite memories!

ledkr Hiya!! glad you and pils are on an even keel To be honest I get on great with mine but I keep visits to a 2 hour maximum and try and do an hour one once a week. The thought of spending a whole day with them, never mind overnight is considerably less appealing! And I've had almost 20 years to get used to them. The mantra - fake it 'til you make it really worked for me

blizy xxxxx oooooo. Please if you want to, keep talking to us. As everyone has said Zoe is in all our hearts as are you.

Evening all, just got back from pils who were surprisingly normal, except when fil sulked in his shed for 2 hours yesterday no-one complained

Just a quickie for now, blizy huge hug, what you said really touched me, I know what you mean, yes you'll be leaving the physical holding of Zoe behind in 2011 but she will always, always live in your heart and never be left behind, however your life changes and moves on, however many brothers and sisters she has in the years to come, you will always carry her with you. Keep talking to us, keep talking to DH, don't let this separate you. Much love to you xxxxx

Will catch up properly tomorrow, off to bed now xxx

Afternoon friends,

blizy how are you doing today? I feel so sad for you, I really hope lovely things happen for you this year. I had to specifically tell DH that when I'm upset he doesn't actually have to do anything, just cuddle, he didn't know what to do either before then. Agree with ponyo if you are getting more panic attacks then see the doc. Thinking of you xxx

reastie it must be so frustrating for you, it's horrible when someone is lying and manipulative and they are so good at it they make you look like the bad guy. DH thankfully realises that MIL is evil, we both call her The Empress.

deb that FIL sulking for 2 hours in his shed is considered a good meeting on the whole.

ponyo good for you standing up to that arsehole, hope you are not to shaken up by it. Rightmove is possibly my favourite website, I think I have viewed most of the giant mansions on it by now [saddo], do you still feel like moving?

ledkr wow very impressed by Dilly, N has no words at all, no imaginative play, nothing like that. DH has started calling him autism boy and is worrying me slightly (I think in a PFB worried way rather than proper worried) but he is obsessed with switches, lights, wires, not bothered by toys unless it's to inspect how they work. e.g. looks at and wants the bubble maker not the bubbles. He doesn't point just yells Ahh Ahh if he wants something but can't indicate what it is. Someone tell me this is all
fine!!! Don't really want to post on the development bit just yet in case I look like an arse.

He managed to walk across the living room last night, he desperately wanted grandpas glasses. Can't/won't do it at all today

What is going on with the pils not being as annoying,or are we jujst used to it?
ponyo im well jel of you going to bed early nye.I felt obliged to stay up and sip on my wine knowing that D would be up early.It was such a farce,if i do have to be up for ny i at least like to be pissed and raucous.Not sat in silence.We didnt even have the tv on fgs.
You are like me with that bloke,i just cant keep my mouth shut.I shouted swore like a fishwife at some yoots who kicked a football over my pram when D was newborn.They got really nasty so i hid in Superdrug
I hope you can find a better area but tbh you get that shit all over now.
deb well impressed with your run,can you explain ct5k?Ive always fancied running but can manage about 2 mins even when im quite fit and skinny.
wiggs Hiya mate.I havr taken your advice re pils but as you say its always going to be harder cos we cant keep to short visits.
D isnt too well,has a high temp and just wants to sleep on me.
We are having a lush day,had a roast and a walk and are now all vegging out watching Ellas dvd of super 8,its very good.
Xmas was so busy and we have not had one single day with just us so we are having it now.Im enjoying it far more than xmas,how sad is that?

borg All sounds normal to me. He is walking which i dont think any of the others are yet.Dilly can only just manage to push her walker along and then falls over,she wont walk early i dont think. Fine by me tho cos Ela walked at 11 months so had a babies mind still so had no sense to handle walking.

ledkr your relaxing day sounds lovely. It's nice sometimes to just chill after alot of rushing about

deb we went to leeds castle today and so Alice and I have a years season ticket if ever you want to meet up there - I just looked on the map and it's midish way between us

Had a lovely day out. Alice rode on one of those horse carousel things (we held on to her!) and enjoyed looking at all the birds in the aviary. We went shopping on the way home and I finally got a pair of sunglasses (DH broke my pair last year and I've since been wearing a pair of £5 service station pair). Have set DH to put up pictures on the wall in the decorated family room meanwhile Alice is enjoying playing with a tubberware, computer mouse and itunes voucher card far more than any toy

ponyo I at your story. I would have been too scared to say anything and understand you wanting to move - found anywhere nice? I love nosing at property sites despite having no intention to move

Who asked about needto a few days ago? Just wanted to say had a message from her a few days ago - she's OK, think she just has a life unlike me is busy in general. I think Ben is teething at the min

borg I'm sure all is fine, he sounds adorbs! With Joe I started to notice something at around 9 months ish just in a casual way I remember laughing that he sat stock still when I would cuddle him and never cuddle back or lean into me. By the time he was a toddler I knew there was something amiss, but honestly N sounds like a v normal happy boy! And well done to him for walking already!
blizy hope you are Ok, sorry you are struggling x you know v well we are all here to listen at least x
deb well done on the running, you are doing so well on weight loss/getting fit!
ledkr sounds a lush day!
ponyo what a tw*t of a man, if there was any justice in the world you would be a secret karate or kick boxing master and have battered him into next week. Seriously tho, hope you are OK, that sort of thing is horrible.
happy New Year all of you, I had a lovely NYE in Liverpool, went to the Alice in Wonderland exhibition at the Tate and then went on a shopping and drinking binge, followed by a nap then out all glammed up at night...Ladies, the outfits I saw on the lovely Scouse ladies would have made your eyes water. One delicate flower had on a bra top and a pair of leopard print granny pants with stripper heels - (tbh I love all of that drag queenesque glamour! ) Off to start my first ever thread in AIBU wish me luck!