Feb 2011: the one where the babies are destruction machines

[ChestnutsREASTIEingOnTheFire]

...or is that just mine?

blizy how's the snow?, bloody freezing here but no snow so flight will be fine from this end xxx

borg I was pissing about on the computer during the Battlestar Galactica marathon last night but got sucked in for the last 45 mins, just going to watch a few more episodes to make sure I don't like it

debka poor Sabine, hopefully it'll clear itself.

reastie you could definitely get away with the kitchen for next Christmas.

Anna woke up at 4.30am this morning, I blame you deliaskis for putting the idea in her head . I took her downstairs where she promptly fell fast asleep but not before she got the the lock off my phone and rang 999 , the shame of it all, although Mr W reassures me it happens a million times a day. At the minute I'm just thanking God she didn't ring from the house phone or she would have caused a huge security alert .

haha to the 999 call,i think Els did that too. What with the 4.30 am,dilly did it wed morning too,she seems tired but just cant go off to sleep.The tip of a new tooth came in tho.
deb I hope her eye clears,i remember Ella stuffed some foam up her nose the day before my birthday,the op was scheduled for the day of my birthday but she sneezed it out overnight thank God. Do you know what the black bit is?

ledkr think A is also teething . She has 5 teeth at the top and three at the bottom but think there are more on the way!

Hello all, hope you are all fast asleep and the babies are not doing any night wakings!

Sorry for such a crap day Delia, something exciting will turn up for you.

Hope all the teeth come through soon and they repeat their walking feats!

Happy birthday Dilly! I can't believe she's a year old already.

Well done on getting your tax return done blizy. I was so dumbstruck at your insensitive family, I couldn't think of anything appropriate to say on Saturday. Which is what they should have done, said nothing if they have nothing nice to say. I hope you don't have to see them again anytime soon.

Good luck with Bean's eye debka, sounds scary. E has put a couple of things up his nose which required removing.

Lol at 999 calls.

Teaching again tonight so must dash. Hope you all have a lovely Friday!

Hi ladies, I need to say something (feels like I'm at an AA meeting), [stands up] my names Delia, and I'm really struggling with C at the moment .

I know I'm having a shitty week cos of work anyway, but really, this past month (well since we came back after Christmas) with C has just been... really hard . Her sleep has gone to shit, and she's whingey and moany, and I feel like she loves everyone but me, I pick her up from nursery and they say she's been great, so does my Mum & MIL, and with me she's just whingey and unhappy, and I feel terrible cos the more it happens, the more I feel like I'm just being crap, and it gets harder and harder to love and be lovely to her when she's just being a pain in the arse, and I don't know what to do to fix this.

Dh is away this weekend and I'm sat at my desk bawling at the thought of a weekend on my own with her. I was going to go and stay and my M&D's but I can't what with her screaming from 5-6.30am so I'm a bit stuck.

As you can see, I'm feeling really sorry for myself, but in RL I'm trying to be all tight-lipped about everything and it's just not working.

We had a really lovely few months from about 6mo to maybe 10-11mo, and then things have gone the other way. Somebody please tell me this will get better [sobs].

D

Huge HAPPY BIRTHDAY to the first of babies to turn 1! Big hugs to birthday girl Dilly, hope you all have a fab day and weekend ledkr

Oh delia, firstly here is a hug. You are not a crap mum and c loves you, please always remember that. Are you anxious around c? Maybe she is picking up on it? I am so sorry you are feeling so down, can you have a chat to Dh about how you feel?

blizy maybe she is picking up on the anxiety, although I think it's more likely the sleep to be honest, as by the time we give up and get out of bed, we're all starting feeling shattered and grumpy. It's not good.

DH is great and really understanding, I just don't think he understands the guilt, like this morning he had already gone out to work and I just needed to get ready and C would not stop moaning, and I just snapped at her a bit (I didn't yell or anything, more of an exasperated 'would you stop moaning for one minute' type of thing), and then I just feel terrible because it's probably not her fault, I'm just handling it badly, and I don't have the patience right now, and I just don't know how to make it all better.

I don't think he understands the guilt. But he is lovely and he knows I'm finding it tough.

Also he rarely has her on his own, and it's easier to have a sense of humour about it when there's two of you, so his patience probably lasts a bit better than mine.

You know I would never do anything bad tho, I'm just a bit sick of it all at the moment, and sad because it doesn't bring out the best in any of us.

Dx

delia I don't think for one second you would do anything bad. Who know this weekend with Claudia might just help.

I am a bit stuck, as i really don't know what to advise you but I am hear to listen to you any time.x

blizy yo uare once again a saint.

DMum has just rung and scoffed at C's screaming and insisted I go and stay anyway, so that's a bit better.

I know everybody says it's not necessary to apologise, but I am sorry for being so needy at the moment, am very about it really, but it's kind of easier on here than in RL, I know other people know what I mean.

Dxxx

delia my aunt always says that babies/children are horrible with their mothers because they know they can be and we will still always love them. I think there's some truth in that, C can be as crabby as she pleases and you will always be there sucking it up. I think the grouchiness is due to her not getting enough sleep. I'd tackle that with whichever method you choose, just be consistent, and when she starts sleeping better she will be a happier baby. How much does she sleep during the day? V glad you're going to your mum's this weekend, it's always easier when you're out of the house and distracted. BTW we have all sworn at/moaned at/shouted at our DCs and anyone who says they haven't is a big fat liar.

ledkr big happy birthday to 1 year old Delilah!!! (in lieu of cake)

blizy any more snow? And good news at not much tax, phew.

wiggles OOPS to 999!! although a gaggle of fit firemen would have broken up the 5am monotony I am sure

S's eye thing is still in there, not moved an inch despite me letting her cry real tears yesterday, and managing to put the ointment in. Don't know what it is, maybe a piece of leaf or grass? It's small and black.

She woke at 5.30 this morning and was moaning away to herself, started crying and I was about to get her when she quietened down and we all went back to sleep till 7.45, can you believe it! Now my mum's taken Imy out to the theatre , S is in bed, and I am making marmalade.

Delia - one MN mantra I use is, "this too shall pass." I always have to readjust my expectations with L - I get so frustrated when I expect him to do something and he won't, like the early wakings or refusing to nap. Can you put C to bed a bit later and hopefully she'll sleep a bit later? I can deal with a whingy moaning baby better at 6 than 5. It's not all kittens and sunshine with children and sometimes we just have to do our best to get through. Can you leave her with your OH more often and get some time on your own?

debka - fester!? I hope it comes out on its own.

ledkr - happy birthday to D! I can't believe the first baby on the thread is one already. Where's the last year gone?

wiggles - at the 999 call. L very nearly did the same.

reastie - I don't think she'll be old enough to care about second-hand. Even if it was new, it'd be in second-hand condition within minutes or is that just my little destruction machine?

Happy first birthday to the one and only Dilly-kins! hope you all have a great day ledkr

Oh and delia I can totally relate, when dp is away at weekends I always go to my mums bcos I find it soooo much easier having another person to help out. I was feeling like a shit mum yest when A wouldn't nap, thinking "well the staff at nursery can get her to sleep, I must just be a crap mum If I can't" which with hindsight is silly but I believed it at the time. I have to post and run but have a hug from me and will pop back on later, don't doubt yourself you are a fab mum! X x

Morning all.
delia I am not surprised she is a whinge bag when you get her because after about 4pm most babies are vile, crying, moany creatures because they are getting tired, esp now they are so active. Go and have a nice weekend with your parents and have a chat with your mum about how to sort her sleep. Most of the babies are suffering with teething etc at the min so the rubbish sleep is probably a horrid little phase. And def dont worry about what you say on here, we all go through scarily similar experiences it seems to me.
deb Poor little S! The weird black object will come out soon. Have you been to the park recently? Joe had something similar in his eye last year and it turned out to be a piece of rubber crumb from the park.....
wiggles Big oops to 999, maybe she wanted to meet daddys pals?!
ledkr happy birthday Miss Dilly! She is officially the grande dame of the babies now, 1 whole year old :) cant believe they are all approaching birthdays already...
Hi tad nice to hear from you! Hope all well?
blizy enjoy the weekend now the dreaded tax is sorted!
Right all, off to get the house a bit tidy, off for lunch with my friend in a bit - despite my being on WW she will without doubt order a huge pile of chips or something like that whilst I nibble on a salad, bad times!

Deb I think you're right, the crabbiness is cos we're all tired and fed up. She does nap well in the day, about 30 minutes in the morning and about 1.5 hours in the afternoon, so I really don't think it's that. I think it is a bit of a habit because she's been poorly, and we've been going to her more in the night, so she's probably forgotten a bit how to go back to sleep on her own (she goes to sleep fine when she goes to bed and for naps tho).

You see your last para, makes me think it will get better, we are starting a bit of an ignoring type approach, because there is really nothing wrong, she just gets stroppy because we aren't sitting cuddling (I mean we have been doing that, but she objects as soon as we put her down).

expat I don't really want to leave her with DH more (although work kind of precludes that anyway), I want to enjoy time with her a bit more, with us all having a bit more fun, if you see what I mean. To be fair we were doing, it's only this last month that's felt like a real grind, but we have had illness etc. so I suppose it's not that big a surprise.

Can't believe Delilah is one today! Here's a happy birthday for you and some and for Ledkr . Hope you have a good day.

On the up side, whilst I was getting my car looked at yesterday, my lovely car salesman who sold it to me came over to say hi, and we were chatting, and in the course of the conversation, I mentioned I was probably being made redundant, and he told the service desk not to charge me for fixing my car, and also worked me out a deal where if I want to change my (expensive, slightly glam but gas-guzzling) car in for a brand new smaller more economical one, I could do that, with no deposit, and pay £200 a month less! So if that's something I can look into if we end up having to reduce outgoings.

Anyway, I am feeling a little better, sorry for beng so needy, and thanks for being so lovely.

Dx

Ooops cross-posted and missed Ponyo and MizK . Thanks for being so nice! You're probably right MizK in the week most of my time with C is trying to make her do stuff - eat your porridge cos we have to go out in 5 minutes, stop whingeing about being in the carseat, it's the only way to get you home, stop crawling off cos I need to get you in the bath, etc. So it's small wonder it doesn't feel like we have any fun time.

Delia, children and babies are hard, hard or,, i have been known to raise my voice at both boys a fair few times. You work hard all week and probably pressure yourself to enjoy all yur time with C when that's just not possible. Miz K is right, I know Noah s exhausted when I get him from nursery, and they'll say he's been smily and lovely all day then I get to take home a whinge bag! Please don't feel bad, and enjoy time with yur family this weekend, I bet they love having you there.

Delilah, Happy 1st Birthday! Hope you all have a fab day, Ledkr.
Who's next to turn 1?

Deb, hope S eye is ok.

Noah had his health check earlier and I'm pleased to say all is well! Hes on the 75th centile for height and weight. She also checked that I was ok.

Bens watching Monsters Inc, and Noah's asleep so I'm going to put some washing on then chill with a book.

Catch y'all later

Oohh wiggles there is a very good chance of me visiting Belfast next weekend.

Delias The sleepless nights have a massive knock on effect on everyone.Dilly is a misery if she is sleepless.i am tired and snappy with Ella and dh and i also fee; that guilt for losing my patience and not being able to get her to sleep like "other babies" The thing is you have had a good run with her sleep as did i so its more of a shock when it goes tits up.I even wished i hadnt had Dilly on more than one occasion,not seriously but in desperation of it all. The truth be known it would be a very rare baby who didnt go through phases.Is she teething?Try giving her a dose of calpol in the day and see if her wingeing eases up.
Having one of the worst sleepers on this thread i will recommend my tips.
1, Take it in turns to get up with her,you dont both need to get up and its so much more manageable when you are thinking "his turn next" use ear plugs when its not your turn.
2,Push bedtime late for a few days cos when she wakes at night she will be tired and easier to settle.
3,Plan your approach with dh by looking on the sleep threads or the net and be consistent,it worked for Dills after a few days.
I often feel im not coping as Dills is a bit full on and rather wingey and hard work.
Today she has a new ball pit,buggy and doll,jack in the box,books,bricks and a dummy mobile. She has spent the afternoon grabbing onto my legs and wiping her nose on my black jeans. She keeps getting into small spaces and getting stuck and crying cos i wont let her play at the side of the downstairs bog-with the loo brush. I keep moving her whilst saying ffs Dilly,and im a flipping socail worker
Thanks for all your wishes.She had a fab day at music and playbarn and we are taking her out for tea later with a few friends.

Ledkr your post cheered me up in so many ways. But why oh why, cruel mother, will you not let her play in the bathroom with the loobrush? Whatever happened to baby-led-playing?

Seriously thanks, you're right that sleep had been going so well for so long, it's a bit of a shock, plus in a way, cos she's older, and everyone now assumes she is sleeping, it feels like more of a failure than with a tiny baby, as everyone knows they can give you lots of sleepless nights.

The more I think about it (and have browsed the sleep threads), the more I think that we have got into a bad habit of running to her at the first squawk, because she has been ill, and I wouldn't leave an ill baby crying, but I think she's got used to the instant attention. She's definitely being stroppy when we don't pick her up, and we know from when we do pick her up that there is nothing actually wrong.

When DH gets back from his trip, I think we need to have a bit more of a consistent approach. We have been a bit lax with it because we were just pleased she had got better but it's gone on for a few weeks now and it's doing us no good.

And you're spot on re the sleep affecting everything else, we're all miserable and it doesnt' reflect well on any of us.

Anyway thanks, you made me giggle, which is good!

Dx

d only just got a chance to post. Just wanted to say completely understand where you're coming from. Mu Mum always says children play up to their Mums but I never realised it started this young! I get fed up of hearing from DH/MIL/Mum how good Alice was when they look after her - how she was quiet/played nicely/never moaned/went to sleep easily and slept for ages etc etc. I swear none of them believe me when I say Alice will never sit in her high chair after meals so I can load the dishwasher like she seems to do for everyone else etc. It's like she just feels fed up of me all the time and moans alllll ttthhhhhheeeeeee ttttiiiiimmmmmmmeeeeeeee with me. It's so frustrating and gets me really down too (like when I'm trying to wash my hair to get ready for work and alice won't stop licking the loo seat/banging the shower door so hard it feels like it might break). The only thing that sometimes marginally helps me is to give her something that both she and I know she shouldn't play with (like paper or a tube of toothpaste or my flower hair clip) and let her destroy it for a few minutes so I can go to the loo or mn but this is really just out of desperation and doesn't always work . Tbh I don't think this parenting lark ever gets any easier, it just gets different over time, and some people find some phases harder than others. I think as Claudia was a pretty good sleeper from very early on it's just quite shocking to have to deal with bad sleep now as you must've assumed the bad nights were over and done with now. When Alice was a newborn people were so nice to me about how tired I must be and could they help out etc. Everyone assumes we are fine now.

My feet are killing - been on my feet most of the day at work and am not used to it. Hopefully this will make me a size 8 by next week end though doubtful . Oh, and I went to the dentist this afternoon to make the most of my free dental care and I had to have a filling - my second ever - just as well it was free . I had it without an injection and DH gave me a 'much respect you tough old girl' afterwards

Am sooooooo glad it's the week end

at having a filling without an injection! I need at least 3 rounds of injections before I even open my mouth!

Delia: I hope you have a good relaxing weekend with your Mum. I am sure C will sleep differently in someone else's house anyway. Get some rest and everything will feel better.

Glad Dilly had a great birthday ledkr!

Well done Noah on his check!

Good willpower MizK - I could do with some. Maybe I will lose some weight when I stop bfing...

S's favourite word is uh-oh about 20 times in a row when he drops something he wants us to pick up!

Hope everyone is having a lovely Friday evening.

Well done reastie on your filling! That's amazing.

Hi Tad i always feel a bit sorry for you posting away when we are all asleep Thats quite forward saying uh oh.

delia just wanted to waft the idea of sepation anxiety under your tired nose.That is defo what Dilly had and it can be worse at night. Imho cc isnt the way forward for this problem as it will only make her feel worse. I kept laying her back down and being really bright and over the top saying "ok baby go to sleep Mummy's here" then left but returned immediately she cried again,sometimes not leaving the room at all.It seemd to work and she is now much better in the day and night.

mizk I missed you saying about the after 4 moaning,im so glad its not just me,i find it intolerable and nothing works to stop her.

Dilly is ill today after a lovely birthday,she has projectile vomiting and is very sleepy. Poor thing.We took her to a resturant last night but another baby had the same as her and is ok.