September 2011 babies are rolling into 2012

[ssmileWithFairylights]

Hello in new thread come over and chat part two from the September edd babies arriving thread.
Just watched strictly dancing final part one but can't keep eyes open for part two so off to bed now will watch.it tom. Sleep well.....zzzzz

Nice one 100years - really glad it all went well and things have improved. Another friend's (met at NCT) DS had a TT and it had really impeded b/feeding, so you've done really well.

DH and I are off out shortly for the first time since DS was born. A good friend is babysitting and we're hoping it will be quiet as he rarely wakes between 7-10.30. My fingers are FIRMLY crossed, but if all goes west we are only a short jog away at a nearby restaurant. Will be manage a non-baby related conversation...? :o

Still no rolling, but some very convincing singing to the Beatles, so maybe he is more musical than athletic!!

Hurrah 100, that all sounds really encouraging. You must be really relieved that it went OK and kudos to you for carrying on BFing whilst it was so tricky, hopefully this'll make it really nice and easy now in comparison

Jojo, how is your DP now? And did I read it right that you're being made homeless? What's happening? And are the council able to help you out? They're not going to stick you in B&B or anything are they, not with a little baby? It sounds like you had a dreadful day yesterday

Loves for you. I really hear you on the difficulty with being pg thing; I spent most of this pregnancy not really wanting a baby and doubting whether it was the right thing to do. I still feel guilty about that now and I know it's contributing to my PND. If you think you need help then please go to the dr (although I am STILL waiting for my counselling sessions to start ) and you know that we're all here for you.

TP on the night out. I hope you're having a lovely time! I am waiting until I've lost a stone before treating myself!

Jojo I missed that in the previous post - you're being made homeless? Have you got somewhere to stay?

Shit, jojo, I read about you being made homeless, but forgot to mention it when I posted, so sorry. Our Landlady will be putting our apartment up for sale at some point in the next month or two, but she's not kicking us out till it sells, still we have it hanging over our heads.

Thanks Geekmum, so far so good (mostly, 1 exception to the rule, but 1 is better than over half of them)

TP, thanks, I hope you have a good meal out, it's really nice to get out without LO, feels slightly odd, but nice to do it. We did it ages ago when PIL were here and we did manage to talk about other things other than just LO. I'm now thinking of when we can do it again. Might wait till she's properly settled again into going to bed, and when OH can put her down without a problem, then it might be OK for someone else to. She's quite cluster feedy in the hour of me putting her down, which isn't a problem when I'm BF, but getting bottles sorted and knowing how many would be key. I'm going to see if OH will try it soon.

Thanks feral. :) Yeah, it feels a bit serene at the moment, feeding is less 'frantic' but whether that's related or not, I am not sure, I'm hoping it is and it isn't a co-incidence. Bloody hell, your counselling has taken flipping ages. :(

sebs my periods have been different after each dc. after our 1st I went about 6months without a period while on cerazette, then had one or 2 light-'normal' ones before concieving ds1. after him i went about 3months without a period they were ok but heavier than usual, had mirena fitted then they were heavy. so far this time i havent had one. yet.
saw on this morning on tv that ppl like holly willoughby try lots of different types of pill before finding one they like, perhaps you could try that?

ssmile its said you lose up to 500 calories a day breastfeeding, but I've not looked into how many extra are needed, tho im sure i have about 4 x as much in snacks daily! my (size 10) jeans that had fitted are now getting too tight and it looks like my baby bellys back, but its actually a junky snack belly!

100 so glad tt is sorted! bet thats a relief for you x

ive been geting broody again, but there's no room at the inn! starting to sort/kit out lo's bedroom, though still a couple of months before its needed. trying to find a home for everything that was hidden away in the spare room is a bit of a mare at the mo.

sebs i think. hoping you've managed to (easily) sort out your housing situation, especially with the whats going on with your dp. sorry to hear your news

birth experiences
our 1st was an emergency c-section as she got stuck coming out and forceps didnt work, had gas and air and pethadine and various positions before spinal in op but I was happy with the experience. this time around was much quicker than our 1st 2 and the midwife listened as was so lovely, again an amazing experience. i had an epidural (which only worked on half of me then fell out), gas and air, aromatherapy oils and diamorphene.
but
our 2nd (ds1) is another story. It still makes my whole body feel strange thinking about it and isnt something thats gets talked about or shared. other than now, on here, with dh and with our last mw.
in short-arrived at hospital 5cm dilated. mw looked through birth plan "you want an epidural?" she asked in a suprised, why would you want one of those type voice. i knew instantly that i wasnt going to get one...........only got gas and air despite asking several times for more pain relief.......ready to push mw saying in a hurried, angry tone of voice "get on the bed" i couldnt get my legs up onto the bed, she kept insisting but I could not do it, I even asked for a stool to help me she was insisting that much but no. so gave birth stood up (HAHA). she communicated terribly. ds1 had mucous on lungs and wasnt breathing so had to be resusitated (same happened with ds2 but not as bad), they got a bed ready on special care but thank goodness he didnt need it. back on the ward the staff were rude (another mum i know had the same experience there with her 2nd too), i told them id lost a big clot of blood. "oh well tell us if it happens again"- no reassuring words to a terrified me.....notes chucked onto my bed. a few mins later "why are you still here" ? "youve got your notes you have to go now"
having a mw who appeared to have her opinion (natural bitrh flat on back in bed) and wasnt interested in what i wanted from my sons birth. and having just gas and air when id wanted much more, i dont think i'll ever feel good about.
i also blame it on the way i felt about my son for the 1st few months of his life (i dont believe it was pnd though). i can NEVER forgive myself for that and feel guilty just thinking about it.
but
I love him with all my heart, and perhaps am even too soft on him now to try and make up for it in some way, in my head of course though as he'll never know.

my gosh that was long, sorry

Sorry quick post before sleep...

Jojo - god, hope you're ok and home situation gets sorted and DP ok... Thinking of you

100years glad tt sorted

Yikes we've all had some bad birth experiences ... Being here helps

TP - enjoy night out

Jimmi - thanks - think I may ask for some different pill as period still going on day 8 with cerazette. But I'm 40 now so weary of full
Pill. And scary how the midwives we get can play such a huge part in our birthing experiences. I had a bad time of it all but the several midwives I had were great particularly one night shift who actually sat calmly with me explaining plans etc... All you need sometimes is information. But I'd shoot the bloody anaethatist who put epidural in (that failed completely) and gave a second lot that still didn't work but no explanation or apology or anything

What's happened to my happy baby? Thought it was after effects of jabs yesterday ... Happy this morning but grumbly again this afternoon and had over an hour of screams trying to settle her. Managed calpol which after rocking in bouncy chair finally did trick and oh managed to transfer to crib. But wondering if this is still jabs or teething?? Or just grumbly?? See what tonight and tomorrow bring...

Best get some sleep whilst she is sleeping...

Sorry if missed anyone, will post tomorrow better post...

sebs its amazing how far a bit of empathy goes isnt it! glad at least myn apologised the next day for epidural not working. another anaethnatist did leave her house and go in especially to sort me out but by the time she got there it was time to push! at least you had good mw's!
id like to train to b a mw, but our nearest uni that does it is 4 or 5 hours drive away-i couldnt do that regularly and couldnt leave or move the family either so thats the end of that!
jabs, we dont have those til next week,. seems late in comparison to others

V quick - sebs our DS had 2 off days after jabs - hope your lo is back to happy self today!

Night out was terrific - DH told me how proud he was of me and I had to try not to blub :) DS didn't wake so confident we can do another eve out in the future.

Happy weekends all and hoping 2012 brings luck, happiness and maybe a little bit of fortune to us all!

TP - on your night out... and awwww for your DH and what he said. That would make me blub too.

Jimmi - I've just reread your account again (was a bit tired to take it all in yesterday) and god, it just makes you realise what a position a midwife has. She can make or break the relationship you have with your baby. I must admit, whilst I was there and even now, I've even thought about doing midwifery - just becuase you can see what an important and life changing job it is - done the right way, with empathy as you say. I've only managed to watch the first half of this week's OBEM but the blonde midwife who was helping the woman who had a bad first experience seems brilliant - really understanding what the woman was going through - must admit, I felt for her too, it brought back my birth experience as it went on for days, and you just get soooooo fed up and want the baby out soooo much. Looking back at my whole birth experience though, the one person I think pulled it all round for me was the senior Anaethatist (must learn to spell that correctly) who came the final morning - after I'd had the failed epidural in the night - and did the cold legs check, and then apologised for it not working. When they decided on EMCS I was very scared of it not working again - but he explained I'd have a spinal - and he looked right into my eyes and said "and I will make sure it works, you have my word"... he could see how frightened I was. All through the C section he explained what was going on and was just really positive. I think that helped to pull what was a really negative experience around and not leave me too scarred. But, I'll never forget the 12 hours of stopping the pushing urge (after 2 days of labour) with full on contractions and sciatica in both sides of my back with no pain relief. It does leave you shell shocked, but everything is worth it when you see your baby!!

NOt a brilliant night - she did sleep till 2am and even settled after the feed. But woke a few times with real tears and a few screams again... managed to get her down again but she doesn't normally react like this. She is usually a happy baby. I think the jabs have really affected her this time, and hopefully it's worn off now. I also think she gets to a state where she is over tired, and is fighting sleep and this is where the screams set in. I think if she's missed her afternoon nap or it is too short, I'll feed her earlier than normal and try and get her down earlier (normally it's around 8 to 8.30, but I'll aim for 7.30ish) and see if we can curtail the screams before they start... it's all a learning curve I guess, and I just hope I'm learning!!!!

She seems happy this morning - but then she was yesterday morning!

Is anyone else's LO making like straining noises??? She does this - seems happy enough whilst doing them and no, she isn't having a poo either!! They turn into happy noises too so think there is nothing wrong, just really loud!! Ooh, she's just managed to turn 270 degrees on the mat somehow, when I wasn't looking!!

Very frosty morning - white all around. I've got my brother and his girlfriend up this afternoon (with my Dad). OH has just announced he's done the first task on our "weekend to do list" - fixed a drip!! (We're doing these lists every weekend even though we're neither of us lists people - but finding it helps when there is so much to do!!)

Have good weekends everyone - and yes, 100 it would be lovely to all meet up one day!

And, jimmi please please forgive yourself for how you felt. You sound like you have a wonderful relationship with him now, and you can't be responsible for the awful treatment you received from the staff in hospital.

Hi everyone,

Just wondering if it's ok to join in with you all! I've always followed this thread and previously the ante natal thread and very occasionally posted, but the past four months since lo arrived have been mad to say the very least!

However, things are hopefully starting to settle now (touching everything vaguely wooden) and I would love to be part of the gang now that I might have more time to post! You all seem like such a lovely bunch!

Planning on taking lo for her first swim today so will report back!

Hope you're all having great weekends x

Hello again sarah - I remember you from the bump-months! I', also recently back on board after 3 and a bit months of fun with DS - remind us when you had your LO and whether DS or DD?

Hope you enjoy the swim - it is most definitely on my to do list (especially as a new shimmy shiny pool has recently opened up the road from me) but before we go I need to replace my pre-preg two piece with a more roomy one piece - ha ha! DS is all ready however, with a wet suit and an inflatable seat thing. I will be going with a friend and her DS as she tells me it is useful to have an extra pair of hands getting in and out of the pool!

Just quickly, and on the subject of mws/health profs and their role in happy (or otherwise) births - when we arrived at triage I was told I was not in labour (just 3 cm) and 'wasn't coping with the pain very well' (I had just been sick). I was told to go home, but if I couldn't 'cope' I could stay on the ward and have pethidine. DS was born less than 1.5 hours later - so If I had taken either piece of advice I would have a.) had an unplanned home birth or b.) had a baby affected by pethidine. Given he was born by forceps as his heart rate started to drop towards the end, I dread to think what would have happened.

I was so glad that DH's support had allowed me to believe in my own instinct that the labour was progressing fast. 10 mins later a consultant walked past, took one look at me, and took me to the delivery room. Grr. I am lucky that I do not have any negative emotions towards the birth - but I do doubt that all medical staff are as tactful, perceptive and compassionate as they should be.

Oh yes good idea, should have said - I have a DD, born on 19th Sept.

We've had a rough ride due to her having silent reflux which started at about 3 weeks. We have recently discovered that this has been made worse by her being excessively tense due to being so low in my pelvis towards the end of the pregnancy, therefore she has had basically a bad headache since she was born

So these things in combo meant for a very unhappy baby, poor little poppet!

However, she has been on medication for the reflux for a while now and just recently we have had four sessions with a cranial osteopath which seem to have done her the world of good and perhaps the key to our progress. Finally her little body is more relaxed and her smiley personality is at last starting to shine through!

It's been a long road especially with this being our first baby, so we've been stuck wondering what's normal / if we're being too anxious / conflicting advice from docs & hv's and off course having a screaming baby does take its toll!

But I hope we are now emerging on the other side, I'm very lucky to have a fantastic DP and hugely supportive family and friends and the biggest thing I have learnt from all of this is to trust my instincts!

Sorry for long post but that hopefully covers our story in a sort of nutshell! I must say it has been hugely helpful to see all of your posts even though I haven't been involved, just to know there are others out there going thru similar things

Xx

Wow, lots of sad stories on here but great that you have somewhere to share them. I don't mean to negate anything that any of you have written but my cousin just lost her baby at 5 days old. I have been in floods of tears for her but also the relief when I look at my DS and he is happy (most of the time) and healthy it makes everything I have been through pale into comparison. My cousin knew her baby was high risk and may not make it so each moment they had was precious and makes me feel like a grumpy cow for sweating the small stuff. I think what I am trying to say is just take a moment to look at your LO and smile to yourself at how perfect they are even when they are screaming bloody murder and no matter what situation you are in you would not turn back the clock. This doesn't mean you can't grumble about the sleepless nights and moan about DH not getting up during the night but count to 10 and breath knowing it will all get better in the next 10 min or next 10 months. Sorry if this is depressing but her loss has made me feel very reflective and grateful.

Welcome Sarah

I'm sorry for your cousin's loss Candr, how awful for them and of course the whole family. I couldn't read your post without tears in my eyes.

I am very much enjoying this bit, my lo has been feeding very well on me with no pain, and on the whole seems very content. Add to that my running challenge which is going well and I can say I'm happy .

Now just need to convince DH that I don't need to go back to work in June...

Oh candr, that is just awful. I cannot express how sorry I am to hear of your cousin (and your whole family)'s loss. I have just been upstairs to peek at our beautiful sleeping DS and it made me cry.

I was going to ask you all for your opinion on a silly 'mummy pressure' issue - all of my NCT friends (we meet every week and are now good friends) have booked, or already attend various baby classes. These vary from baby sensory to water baby to tiny talk. They are all regular and you hand to book ahead for multiple classes. I know I am being silly but I feel a bit anxious that I haven't arranged similar for DS. This is due to a combination of money bring unconvinced of benefits over and above a 'normal' baby-hood of family/friend visits, play, walks, toys, singing etc etc that we do at home.

Do you guys do classes with your babies and can you recommend any or should I go with my instinct to leave such things till they are toddlers and a bit more 'capable'?

Sorry for crap grammar/spelling in above post - bloody phone kept predicting words and I didn't proof read! Hope it makes sense.

That's so sad candr, very sorry to hear that, it really does put things in perspective and make you appreciate what you have. Thoughts with your cousin and your family.

Tiddleypompom i have just started a baby class with my lo, it lasts for 6 weeks and is like a mixture of baby yoga, massage and just general songs and play, it's all to do with helping to relax baby and helping me feel more confident so it seemed particularly relevant to us. I've also signed up for the free baby massage classes thru the local children's centre, anything that can help lo stay relaxed is what I'm going for

Other than that though I don't want to get too booked up as we try to see as much of family and friends as possible thru the week.

Well lo's first swim went well, it was quite busy and it seemed like she was trying to take it all in but she did really well, at least she didn't cry!

Candr so so very sorry for your cousin. Your words have reminded me just how incredibly lucky I am.

TP I had a four month check for DD yesterday and the HV gave me a guilt twinge when she asked me if I was doing any classes with her and I realised that I have done bugger all yet! Our local children's centres run all sorts of exciting classes for free (I find any 'private' stuff that has the word 'baby' in the title is insanely expensive ) and I have resolved to get out and about with DD a bit more now she's more alert and will enjoy it more.

However TBH I am not convinced that taking weeny babies to stuff like that makes very much difference to their development at all; I have friends who did baby signing whose kids don't talk any better than DS and a friend who paid £££s for baby yoga with no apparent benefits! DS is more confident in the water than most toddlers and he's only ever had the cheapo lessons from the children's centre, my SiL paid a fortune for Swim Academy lessons and her DDs still can't swim!

IMO the main beneficiary for baby classes is us as it's nice to meet other mums and, like you said, the most important thing is that we sing and talk to our babies. DD gets dragged along to DS's local play session but I don't think she really cares where she is, so long as my boobs are I'm there!

Queenrunninggeek I'm so glad you're . Me too atm. This running lark is bloody brilliant isn't it? I only lost 2lbs last week as I'd been a bit rubbish with the diet but it's all movement in the right direction. I am getting the horrors about going back to work though; I think I'll prob have to go back after the Easter hols. DH and I are doing the split parental leave thing and he's beginning to get impatient for his turn!

I'm in agreement with Feral on the classes. Basically if you want to do them because it gives you more confidence interacting with your dc, allows you to meet other mums, baby has specific needs etc then they're a really good idea. If you're fine with singing, talking, playing with lo and get out to see friends then they're probably not for you. I haven't booked any and don't intend too as my days are pretty booked up as it is! I do baby massage but that's a free course and more for me then ds.

Candr just wanted to post to say how very sorry I am to hear about your cousin's baby. I can't imagine what she must be going through and my thoughts are with her and all of you as a family just now.

Jojo so sorry to hear you're having such a difficult time at the moment. How is your DP doing now? Have you managed to find somewhere to live? It all sounds terribly stressful so hope you're okay. Just remember we're here if you need to vent.

Hi Sarahseager. Welcome back and nice to see you :)

100years it's all sounding very positive about the TT snip. Hope it continues and well done on BF with the TT for so long. The getting lost at the hospital sounds a bit stressful but glad it all worked out okay.

Sebs hope your LO is a bit happier now. My LO isn't making any straining noises apart from sometimes when having a poo. Could your LO maybe be a bit constipated? Or if she seems happy enough maybe she's just experimenting with some new noises :o

Tiddley I echo what others have said about baby classes. If you want to do them and can afford it they can be a nice way to spend some time and meeting other mums but I absolutely don't think they'll have any impact on your DS's long term development either way. I did waterbabies with DS1 and we both really enjoyed it but it was pretty expensive. Now I have two DC's it would be impossible to do lots of baby classes even if I wanted to but am not worried as I know DS2 will be just fine with the things we can do at home.

Sorry to those of you having trouble coming to terms with your birth experiences. I didn't post my birth story and it was a bit traumatic ending up with forceps with just G&A and a local anaesthetic! The doctor who delivered DS2 had a horrible attitude and when stitching me up after kept telling me I was feeling pressure not pain and was just a bit rough with the whole process. Then discovered I hadn't had the full dose of local! So yes it was pain I was feeling you stupid, stupid man! That feels a bit better getting that off my chest. I think I've put it behind me though and am just so glad DS2 got here safely which is the main thing.

Well my baby is sleeping so I'm heading off to the land of nod before the first night feed.

candr That's just about the worst it could get for any parent, my thoughts are with you, your cousin and your family. It certainly does make you think again and realise how lucky we are, and I certainly gave my LO more cuddles after reading your post. Hoping you are ok...

Thanks for comments - LO seems better this weekend, so hoping that my happy baby is back and it was the after affects of the jabs - this time going on for a couple of days (but as it was the 3rd jabs, guessing there's more there to react too). The bed time routine seems to be better too, and she seems to want to go to bed earlier (around 7.30) so that's good. Might give us an hour or so before getting the other kids off up to bed and bed ourselves too! Her naps in the day are regulating (a bit) but she still doesn't seem to want to nap for that long (unless in the car, pram or any motion) - maybe about half hour. YOu get the occasional longer nap... but generally it's getting better and I'm getting better at being a bit more structured :)

Re baby classes - Haven't done any and haven't booked any either - although will be going to the freeby Baby Massage one run by the HVs this Thursday. There's also some "sing and rhyme" sessions in the library in the nearest town to me that are in Welsh and designed to get non-Welsh speaking mums (like me) to learn some Welsh songs! MIght pop along to some of those as would like LO to learn more Welsh than me (which is some, but not fluent). But, don't think I'll book any paying classes - haven't the time and as I'm in the middle of nowhere not the most practical. Also, again, like others who have said here, not sure of the benefit at this age, and think the classes are more about mums getting together. A friend of mine has just had a baby, and has a friend who has a 6 month old, and I've another friend who is due end of this month - so hoping we'll all meet up occasionally for baby chat and "C Section" stories (as we've all had one, and my friend is booked for one too). The local primary school, that DSD goes too, also has a playgroup every Tuesday afternoon, which apparently you can go to from any age... again, might go to this but will probably wait until LO is 6 months old.

There is also some baby signing classes in the next village - but this is aimed at babies 6 month plus and they start now. So if they run again in a few months might go... I'm quite interested in this as friends of my OH did it with their LO and was effective - not to improve speech but to stop the frustration a baby can have when trying to communicate but without the ability... if only to learn a few words...! I saw their LO use it when she was around 12 months and it was effective...

Watched half of that "How to be a Good Mother" - hopefully will watch other half tonight. Does make you think that there are sooooo many different types of parents!! I'm up to the placenta mum!!! COuldn't believe the home-schooler - she looked amazing after 6 kids, but doubt it was down to her stretch mark cream!! (Stretch marks are hereditary, so cream is never really going to help!)

HOpe you all having nice weekends... we had a lovely hour long frosty walk in the forest this morning - LO all wrapped up in the baby carrier taking in the sights before dropping off!

Oh, and sorry... Welcome back Sarah!!!

candr your poor cousin, I hope they can find a way to process that tragedy. It does make me very grateful for my two beautiful girls. Some friends of ours lost their Lo at 20d old 2yrs ago, they now have a beautiful 8mth old girl &4yr old but their lost Lo will never be forgotten.

Our Lo had 3rd set of jabs Fri and ended up having 3lots of calpol over 24hr period she was really out of sorts and today still having upset tum nappies. I guess this set of jabs had something that our Los have reacted too. She been a lot sunnier today.

In terms of classes I'm not doing anything at the moment. With first DD I did swimming lessons, from 3mths but they were expensive and tbh she learnt far more just going swimming once a week with us doing 1:1 :) now babe is more interactive I may take her swimming now at local pool as it does cheap baby group, plus there are music with mummy classes which are fun for babies 6mth+ and coffee &cake after for mums. I'm hoping to go to a "sling meet" at the end of month as I'd like some help with my moby wrap or try a few others to see if more suitable for me. Also a chance to meet some other mums.

Sorry for not responding to everyone but just wanted to add my thoughts to everyone else's - candr you and your family are in my prayers x hope you get strength from all around you. Hope everyone that's in a dark place at the moment finds a light to guide them out very soon. I was talking to a friend tonight and we were commenting on how many people we know in dire situations - not sure if it's because you notice the sad things happening more in January but whatever the reason it's very sad.
We are doing okay but having little issues I guess. Lo still doesn't sleep for long at night time - 4 months old and still up to feed every 2-3 hours during the night. I am ebf but the hv this week suggested i may want to consider giving a bottle in the evening if I want a bit of a break. Tried it a few times and lo doesn't mind but not sure it makes him sleep any longer! Tonight he is so wingy and upset, I just couldn't calm him and he seemed in pain but he has now dropped off to sleep (not a moment too soon as I was beginning to feel my edges fraying!)
Dh turns 40 next Sunday and has been so unhelpful in helping to suggest what he would like to do or receive - in the end I buckled and gave in to his request that he can go snowboarding for a week with his friends but now I am in a panic as he may be going in 3 weeks and I am wondering how the heck I will cope with 3 kids and all the school runs/ clubs etc on zero sleep - if any of them are ill I think I could just lose the plot ! Anyway, it's a big big gift as there now will be no money for my 40th in the summer or for a family holiday - am a little cheesed that I was pressured into this as it is his 3rd holiday with mates and I haven't been able to do a thing with my girlfriends for several years ! Oh well - wish me luck ! Anyway, enough moaning from me, off to investigate the crying sound from downstairs - let's hope it's the tv and not a child !