Feb 2010 They're all walking and talking....and some are even sleeping. The babies are doing okay too.

[InmaculadaConcepcion]

Pull up a comfy chair, grab a cuppa and a piece of cake, switch the monitors on low and let's PARTY.....!!!

Arf at you all trying not to offend me
For what it's worth, I think some children do have more energy than others and they are often boys. It may well have a biological cause, so I wouldn't necessarily argue with that!
I think how that energy is channelled is the important thing. Toddlers don't have any self-control, so it's important adults work to help them control their more anti-social urges. But interestingly, I think boys' aggression is often given more space than girls' (which is why theirs often takes emotional forms). I was chatting to another mum the other day whose little boy was behaving rather aggressively. She said to me that although she tried to encourage him to be more gentle, she didn't want to discourage his "manliness". I asked her what her definition of manliness was, in that case. She wasn't offended, but she went very quiet and I could tell the question had made her think.

I continue to be in awe of you bethy and how you manage. You've really been dealt some tough parenting cards (healthwise) and the way you deal with is a testament to your strength of character. Oh, and your posts can be as long as you like, they're always interesting!

Sorry to hear you're still feeling crook, PA. I wish I lived closer, I would come and lend a hand.

BBB looking forward to seeing the cake effort!
How to Talk is really good. I've also been finding the Positive Discipline series helpful too - they have different books aimed at different ages, if you're interested in checking them out on Amazon.

Scones that's really horrible about your neighbour. Maybe pause for a day or two to see if he does disappear off to prison. And yes, I would try and chat to your neighbour if you get a chance - keeping it light and friendly, but making it clear you're worried she's okay.
As for your feelings about your DD1, I should think that's entirely normal, especially if you've got an angel baby and DD1's the one pushing your buttons. The only thing I would say is try not to let her sense it because it will probably make her act up even more to try and get your attention in any way she can. I'm sure your feelings will even out soon x

Had to chuckle at your DD speaking in CAPITAL LETTERS BG!

scone if it happens again, call the Police. You can keep your ID anonymous or ask the Police not to reveal who called.

BBB well done on your cake (I agree that she won't notice that you didn't use the right itn) and on your writing job.

PA I know what you mean on 'crying tired'. I hope you'll feel better soon and manage to get some rest.

bethy big hugs. Write as much as you want. You have so much strength to have dealt and dealing with so uch health issues.

ALERT

fc had her baby a DD2

So this afternoon DS had his 2 years HV check... Now I remember why I do not like his HV

So he can build towers with blocks - passed, he hold his crayon/chalk properly. But his speech is limited - I reminded her that he is bilingual and that all children do not all speak in sentences at 2yo - so she'll come back in 3 months to see how his speech has progressed.

Also he now weighs 12.5kg (50th centiles) and measures 84/85cm (between 9th and 25th centiles) - so he is around 1.5kg (3lb) overweigh too much, we need to keep an eye on it. You can see his ribs ffs!

at how HV takes the averages and uses them!

Sorry rant over

Thank you all for your very lovely posts. BBB if you fancy a meet up while you are close next week, let me know. DS2 has his birthday on Tuesday but apart from that, not much is set in stone yet (and I'm off all week for half term - yippeee!!). When is your op? Think I missed that previously.

SB Those HV do like to get their knickers in a twist don't they? They haven't mentioned DS2's weight at all his recent weigh ins and I'm sure he's still on the heavy side, despite his height. I think some of his is bloating though - possibly gluten-related.

IC I'd love you to meet up with my two DS and see what you make of them. We try to be quite firm and consistent (is the teacher in me...) but they are seriously hard work. What we really need is to get Mous's DD2 in the same room and observe them together. I'd love to know that mine are energetic, not just unruly, as it would make me feel better!! In fairness, I have more energy than most females I know, so I suspect it is genetic (and I'm kind of hoping they will be a bit more like DH -i.e. chilled out - as they develop!!) In fact, maybe we should all have a swap for a few days and see wha we think of dealing with different combinations? I'd be fascinated as I know very little about dealing with pre-school girls.

Scones I don't get the feelings of wanting one more than the other, but at times I seriously feel I cannot cope with either. I tell myself this is natural and it passes. I think we all just cope with whatever is thrown at us as we don't know any other way (and sleep deprivation is a recognised form of torture for a good reason). It will improve.

Anyway, off to order a last minute present for DS2!! Looking forward to more cake pictures tomorrow. Hope DD2 has a lovely day BBB. (I've got wet hair tonight but DH is very keen for me to try on the dress again so will definitely take a photo).

SB I have just made the calculations for your DS's BMI and it is 17.3 which is still in the healthy range. It is very close to the 75% line but still below. For boys at 2 yo, BMI is healthy between 15.5 and 17.5 (girls 15.5 and 17). courtesy of the french embassy which gave me a french "carnet de sante" when DD2 was born.
So don't worry too much. I am sure the HV is concerned about your diabetes, and she is probably tactless.
As for the talking, I am sure DD2 is behind your DS and she is fine. That is exactly what DD1's HV was talking about, making the parents upset or worried for nothing hence why she did all her 2 yo reviews at 2.5.
Thinking about it very few french 2 yo I meet actually talk (and when the parents say they do I don't recognise anything). Did she made sure he understand what you are saying, in both languages? That he is able to communicate in his own way? pointing, signs, invented speech like babble? That is what is important at that stage

bethy you do sounds like some kind of superwoman BBB too to be honest.

scones 2 yo is a tricky age they have to be super cute at some stage or they would all end up in the streets. Probably some evolution trick so you stop BF them, like teens are mostly unbearable so you can kick them out of the group and they can grow up and not compete for your female

bethy DD2 has calm down a bit, she is not climbing off the wall like DD1 was. [relief emoticon] DD1 is just calming down now, with some bad days. School told me she is "hyperactive" but still within the normal range. I am sure your DSs are not unruly. But it is very difficult to be in a room when yours are the only ones not sitting on the floor nicely.

FC congratulations!

I'm ignoring bmi's for now until my two have another growth spurt. Last time I checked they were both bordering on obese apparently... I don't think the focus on averages is helpful when a child is clearly happy, healthy and fit. Most toddlers grow in spurts anyway so in most cases height and weight catch up with each other. I also think it is often quite obvious to the naked eye if a child does have problems with weight ie seriously over or underweight.
I haven't had an appt through for a 2 year check and may just leave it because I know dd2 is a little tubby and a little vertically challenged at the moment . And I agree with you mous that it makes more sense to assess children at 2 1/2.

Happy birthday to BBB's DD2! Look forward to seeing the pics on FB

Sorry your HV upset you SB. Anyone looking at your DS would not be concerned that he's overweight. Their reliance on charts and not common sense is so annoying. (As an aside, when I took DD2 for her 8w check the Dr said "What a healthy looking baby! No worries there!" until she weighed her, she had dropped slightly off her line, then Dr said "are you EBF her - you have to top up with formula" - of course I haven't and DD2 is as chubby-cheeked as ever). As for the speech, you know that bilingual children's speech is delayed and as long as he's communicating with you he's fine.

I'm a little concerned that DD1 is too skinny as she really doesn't eat much, but as long as she seems healthy and full of energy (very into climbing at the moment - how do you manage PA?!) I'm not going to worry.

As for my neighbour, the BF does seem to have gone, thank goodness. I would talk to her, but a few months ago she stopped talking to me very suddenl;, as the walls are so thin I wondered if she'd heard us talking about her 'feral children' which I know is a horrible thing to say about them but they do run riot, turn our outside lights on, drop litter everywhere etc. Still not nice to judge Now when I say hello to her she ignores me, so I'm not sure how she'd take to friendly concern.She was very interested in my pg, but has never shown any interest in DD2. Anyway, fingers very much crossed he is off the scene.

Ha ha at the child swap idea, bethy!
Interestingly, I spend quite a lot of time with a friend of mine who has twins about four months older than DD. One a boy, one a girl. They've both got a lot of energy and are reasonably assertive characters and of the two, I'd say the girl is the dominant twin (her mum agrees) - if there's a tussle between her and the boy, she usually wins. The boy is more demonstratively affectionate, but lately he's started to have more aggressive outbursts.

In fact today, I was paying attention to the girl twin and out of jealousy, the boy suddenly came up and whacked me in the face with a wooden toy. It bloody hurt! I turned straight to him, looked him in the eye and said calmly but very firmly, "You do NOT do that." He was instantly dismayed. My friend (who was mortified, bless her!) took him straight out of the room and spoke to him (something along the lines of "That hurt IC and now you need to say sorry, because you didn't mean to hurt her, did you?") then brought him back in. I said, "Do you want a cuddle now to make friends, BoyTwin?" and he weepily flung himself into my arms and behaved better for the rest of the morning.

I wasn't trying to make a gender-related point with that story, incidentally, it was just interesting to me to deal with that type of direct aggression because I haven't had it with DD (so far..!!). His mum and I chatted about the incident later and both agreed we were satisfied with how each other dealt with it. Which helps, because I think it can be very awkward to have a situation like that and two mothers don't see eye-to-eye on how to handle it.

It's been great for DD hanging out with the twins, though - their rough and tumble is definitely helping her to toughen up a bit and I think their enthusiasm for eating is rubbing off a bit, too!

Scones this book has been helping me reach a more Zen attitude towards DD's eating - highly recommended!

SB grrr to the HV. Your DS sounds like he's doing absolutely fine to me and looks great in your pics too. What's she on about?

Mous very impressed with your interpretation of the data! Is it any warmer yet?

Thanks for all your support. I know I should ignore her but it's hard when it's linked to DS.

mous I am not worried about his speech as he does interact, point, do animal noises and speak gibberish when not English or French and he understands both DH and I (and everybody else speaking either languages). HV was quite suprised that he understood what I was telling him in French
As for his weight, I think he may have heavy bones, I do (I'm 11st but fit in size 10 or 12 clothes). She in fact never mentioned my diabetes.

SB I hope you are feeling more collected now. Imagine if the centiles were reversed (like DD), I'm sure you'd feel if a parent was made to feel like that child was severely underweight. Some people are obviously broader than others.

Feeling better today, no painkillers (only a mild headache) and got to this evening before feeling achy and tired. That might have been because afternoon playgroup was a bit of a palaver. There was a 18 month (big, well bigger than DD) girl who is obviously going through a phase and DD seemed to take the brunt of it. So she was pushing her over a lot, stealing her toys. Although the mum was apologetic I just felt she could have kept a closer eye to stop her doing it half the time. Especially at tops of slides etc. Meant I was dashing all over the place as the layout is a bit weird and the baby section is a bit removed from the main play area.

IC you haven't experienced any of that before with DD?! I had my hair pulled yesterday when I carried DS2 up the stairs to change a pooey nappy! He usually goes for a metal car smacked on DS1's head when super cross - hence my use of timeout (followed by hugs and 'sorry' etc..) At the child minder's the other day, I wasn't quick enough for his liking as we were leaving. I'd picked him up and he turned, looked me in the eye and properly punched me in the face. In their tiny porch, all I could do was speak very sternly and immediately put him down and ignore him (before making up as above). The childminder was amazed as, luckily, he hasn't shown any of that to them!! Doesn't seem to vomit on them either!!

Today both DS have high temperatures and are under the weather. DS2 is lying in his cot moaning and shivering. We gave him calpol last night and he slept through (although I had to get up at 1a.m to change DS1's wet bed and at 5a.m for his nightmare of course!) Think we may have to medicate 3 hourly through the night to try and control the temperatures as I struggle to get them down again if I wait until they wake feeling awful and very hot. They need to be better for the party on Sunday!

Mous glad to hear that your two are now calmer - it gives me hope!!

Scones glad to hear the neighbour's BF has gone. Let's hope he is back inside for a while to give the family a break.

PA so glad to hear you have felt better today. You'll feel like superwoman when you are back on form!!

This thread is nearly full, so there's a new one here

See you there!