November 2011 - early birds, just in time and late to the party, all welcome!!

[TwoJackRussellsandapumpkin]

Hi all,

just starting up a post natal thread for all the due in November peeps on the antenatal forum and anyone else who would like to join in too, hoping to see my arrival by the end of the week, so officially an early bird I hope :)

I never thought about district nurse etc, or home visit or anything. I'll maybe give them a ring in the morning, and see what can be done. Although I looked at the wound again this evening and it didn't seem quite as horrible as earlier in the day, so maybe things are starting to turn around. It must be localised I think, as I'm not feverish or anything (thankfully!).

Its funny you should mention the Gaviscon constipation side effect, because I had terrible heartburn when pg and was drinking it by the gallon. It was costing me a fortune as I was getting through so much, so I asked my Dr for a prescription. He prescribed a generic antacid Gaviscon type drug and I read the label and noticed constipation as a side effect and the first thing I thought was 'oh, I don't remember ever seeing that on the Gaviscon bottle'......although it certainly explained a lot !! But if it had that effect on a grown up, I can see how it would be that much worse in a newborn. DD was diagnosed with reflux, but there must be different 'types' as she never needed medication thankfully. She brought up milk all day long, needed about six changes of clothes a day as she was soaked to the skin, but strangely enough it didn't seem to cause her any pain or distress, and it was managed by way of special prescription formula (obviously not helpful if you are breastfeeding). I think it upset us more than her, but it all faded away quite quickly once she had the strength to sit up unaided.

Sorry, last post was very self absorbed and I forgot to add that Katie I am wishing you and your husband luck, redundancy is a horrible thing to have hanging over you.

And LK I want to add my voice to those on here saying how I admire you for coping without your husband, I don't know how you do it. Actually, I suppose that is an idiotic thing for me to say really, you cope because you have no choice....but I really do admire your strength.

Good luck to your DH katie, keeping my FX for you both.

I also agree with the upright feeds / propping cot up for reflux. DS had it and puked after every feed but luckily it never affected his weight gain and was more a laundry issue! I used to breastfeed him sat completely upright and would keep him that way thereafter. Books propped under the mattress also helped.

goldmaple after the birth of DS I was a mess, I found it so so hard and wondered if it would ever get better. But honestly it does. I remember someone saying to me that I should just enjoy DS as a newborn as it doesn't last long and one day he won't let me cuddle him so much - I scoffed at them and thought "I just want him to sleep" . Sure enough, we now have to bribe him for cuddles and they last about 2 seconds. This time round I am relishing every cuddle, every breastfeed and every moment with DD, even the middle of the night feeds or when I really want to do something but she is asleep on me. Forget the housework, forget cooking nice meals, just relish these moments as they are over far too soon. I hope that gives you some assurance that it will definitely pass!

Bf is so tiring! I am lucky dh has this week off so he is doing nappy changing so I can feed throughout the night and not have to get out of bed and stitches are sore. Lk you are amazing as I would be a zombie without dh.
Had some green nappies but repeating sides now to make sure baby gets hind milk. Brown nappy today so think it is working. Yay! Who would have thought poo would be that exciting. :-)
Snooze hope you get a home visit
Katie fingers crossed here too.

Thank you all for your lovely supportive messages. snoozle you're right you don't have a choice but doesn't stop it being incredibly hard at times. Little one and I are having a great time though, mainly because she is the lovliest, calmest child. I am truly blessed.

Congrats to stace. hope you're feeling ok. And good sleep, easy feeding thoughts to everyone else

katie I know what you mean about the validation. It has helped that both mw's I've seen at home have read my notes and said 'goodness you went through it' or similar. Makes me feel I'm not being daft. I asked my comm mw to put me in touch with the lady who talks ladies like me through their experiences.

Sending you and your dh huuuuuge luck for today. Keeping everything crossed.

Eddie is a month old today, and I just want to let you know that I'm already starting to feel a bit more in control, Gold. I've got a grip on his routine now, and although certain bits of the day are challenging... getting up before 12 for example... but he has good phases of sleep (only up to 4 hours, don't get too excited), but I at least have a rough idea when they will be, so I can get in on the action. It also helps me to have a plan with DH before we go to bed, so we know which feed he will do so I get a reasonable sleep in between. I do 2 night feeds, he either does the last one at night and I go to bed early or he does the first one in the morning so I can sleep through from 3am (ish) to 10am (ish). This feels so much more manageable, and has helped me get things done in the day because I am less tired, and I feel more able to cope if he has a challenging feed, or decides he's starving at an inopportune moment. Just repeat after me "I can cope, Emily is _ days old, and quite happy with what I'm doing".

LK I'm going to add my admiration to your list

Good luck with the redundancies Katie, not nice to have that hanging over you, DH was made redundant in March... as I got my BFP, but things worked out in the end with a better job and more money. Try not to see it as the end of the world, I know the scare stories well enough, but there are jobs out there.

Cookie I'm with you on the exciting poo, I think my friends and family are a bit disgusted with me!

Just had the health visitor round, and she has said that Eddie is following the term baby weight chart, rather than the premmies chart. He is between the 0.4th and 2nd percentile, but is following the line nicely, so she thinks he will probably just always be one of the little ones. That could easily change though, won't really know until he's at least 6 months old.

Good luck to all new mums, and everyone suffering with scars (physical, mental and emotional)

Good luck Katie and your husband. I hope no redundancies are made.

lk my word you were put through the wringer with your little one. Sounds like you have an amazing little girl. I had a few flash backs with my first birth but they faded over time. Definitely see someone if you are hoping to have more children as I had more flashbacks nearer due date.

Well my boobs have finally calmed down but are still leaking slightly. I'm formula feeding as I just couldn't keep up with ds. Expressing didnt work and it just wasn't going to be doable with a 18 month old to look after as well.

Managed to use the double buggy for the first time today. Bit of a faff setting up the buggy snuggles but pretty much sorted now. Both dc loved it so all good.

I have a 2nd degree tear but seems to be healing much quicker than last time. I am also dreading DH going back to work. I do have a lot of support from my parents and in laws so v lucky. DD still keeps crying when ds makes any noise (no matter if only a whimper). But paying her lots of attention and I can now play with her for longer than 10mins now I don't have a bump in the way.

Right, best have a kip because everyone else is asleep!

katie i've spent that last few days expressing about 8 times a day to get my milk in, including during the night, when ds woke i fed him from bottle then expressed. when i tried the shield with ds1 it was a nightmare, and i've tried today and it's started the same slipping all over the place even with lansinoh to hold it there. But the shields dh got me are bloody huge, he has this things that my nips are abnormally large. i have however just found the instructions for the medela ones which show to invert the shields first before putting them on, i didn't know this, i was just pulling it tight across the area. will try it next time, also showed sizes for their shields, will get dh to measure them later cause i'm convinced the ones he's bought are way to big. i hope it was good news today

lk glad everything is going ok.

snoozle glad wound is starting to look better.

As a carry on from above i have managed to get him to latch on, even with the ridiculous sized shields, it's still starting off going all over the place but the last one he actually latched on and had a proper feed.

Thanks for all the words of encouragement! I do love the snuggles and she is just so cute!! (Can you tell I had a decent amount of sleep last night?) :) Still feeling a bit overwhelmed but I'm trying to relax! She is gaining weight and seems happy so that is enough for me! Plus grandmas have been a godsend!

And ... TMI - does anyone else have a problem with hemorroids now? Forget the pain from the tear, this is whats bothering me. I've looked it up and it seems like they are permanent?! Have dr appt on the 28th so will ask but if anyone has a solution before then...

katie FX crossed for you and DH

gold - I have that problem - its awful. But it does go, at least it did last time. I am still taking the magnesium tablets that the midwives gave me here (similar to Andrews Liver salts actually) and that helps.

I had my first outing for ages today...and overdid it a bit as scar is throbbing tonight.

Are anyone's else's nipples chewed up? I think I am latching properly - she is certainly feeding well and gaining weight but they are so raw and sometimes a little bloody. I remember going through this last time and eventually toughening up, but I saw a friend who also just had a baby, and she had ZERO nipple damage at all, which made me a wee bit jealous.

So tired as Christopher just wont settle at night and so haven't had any sleep so far tonight although letting dh sleep. If still not sleeping in 30 min will wake dh and have him sleep on chair bed so I can sleep with baby in our bed. I know you are not meant to sleep with baby in the bed but am getting desperate now. Anyone any advice?

Aw Cookie, getting no sleep is terrible, it really messes with your head. Its not for nothing that through the ages sleep deprivation has been used to torture people....

With regard to co-sleeping, I know the NHS guidelines are 'don't do it' but people all over the world do it, its probably the norm in most of the world, as I would imagine that an individual cot for a baby is a modern luxury of the wealthy parts of the world. I haven't needed to do it with DS, but I did do it sometimes when DD was a baby, as I felt that on balance the risk to her from me trying to look after her the next day having had no sleep was probably greater than any risk to her from sleeping in my bed. But, as with all these things, its very much a personal decision - some people would be horrified by my decision, whilst many others think its the most natural thing in the world for a baby to sleep with his mother and be comforted by it. I hope that tonight things are better for you.

Cookie whilst still waiting, I wanted to say i feel your pain as DD had colic from 2 weeks old and it was hard. Not saying your DS has colic but in tough situations you know your baby best and do what works for you. As snoozle says, people co-sleep all over the world and it works for them - at least you get sleep.

When DD was tiny we found our solution by making the decision to put her to sleep on her tummy around 10 weeks. A huge no no normally but we assessed the risk (non smokers, house was not hot, she wasn't wrapped too warmly etc and we kept her with us all the time). Bingo - she loved it and is still a tummy sleeper now at 3.

Co-sleeping will not make bad habits in these early days and so if it works, personally I would do it.

cookie what do you mean by won't settle, is he falling asleep on you but won't be put down?

Moses basket tips which worked for us with DD and DS:

• wrap a dirty t-shirt or pillowcase of yours around the sheet (smells of you)
• swaddle tightly - we use this swaddle which is fab
• while feeding wrap blanket around baby so when you put them down in moses basket you lie them on it, so basket is not a cold shock - alternatively you can place a warm hot water bottle inside it while they aren't in it.
• leave your hands on them removing them slowly so its not a shock.

I hope this helps!

Cookie I feel for you, we all have bad nights. I certainly have let each of my children sleep in my bed as babies for odd hours here & there when I've needed to. I have a bedside cot so DS sleeps right next to me bin on his own mattress so I can lie pretty close & ssh, pat etc

Snoozle how's the scar, did you get to see someone?

Thanks for the replies! He sleeps well in Moses basket during the day but come night time he will feed and get sleepy but as soon as he goes into the basket he starts to cry. He will sleep besides me in the bed but it is when he is moved there is the problem. Will try the hot water bottle trick as our bed is probably quite warm compared to the basket.

cookie that is exactly the same as DS and DD - try those tips I mentioned, its worth getting the swaddle, it made an instant difference for us

ds is like that cookie i've spent ages with him sucking my finger thinking he couldn't be hungry he's just eaten, but i gave him a top up and he went straight off. and i agree with the swaddling he does prefer it.

bf mw gave me an avent shield and he now latches on everytime. yay now he just wants to suck all the time. how long and often do you bfer's spend?

Yay! Got two four hour sleeps. Did have to bf for two hours between two and four o clock as he is a slow feeder at night but feeling so much better having had some rest. The hot water bottle seemed to work a treat. thank you!!!!!!!!!

Wow cookie that's some good sleep

So ladies (apart from Cali ) what are you wearing? I am a million miles from pre-preg clothes, my scar is still sore & I am living in leggings & big shirts and can honestly say I look like a sack of spuds & am a bit sick of it

oooh, two four hour stints - luxury!

Thanks for those tips Terry's - I think the warmth differential was the reason why my LO couldn't settle - I did the blanket trick last night and she went off pretty well. But I am having an uphill battle to get my supply high at the moment and its hard to resist doing bottle top-ups. I may have to use some herbs - I tried blessed thistle and fenugreek with DD1 and it really helped.

ali - I am wearing yoga pants daily! And then my early on maternity jeans sometimes. my scar still hurts a bit too but I put on some body shaping knickers yesterday and it actually helped. Did you get some support stuff from the hospital?
Body recovery seems to be much quicker with a natural birth - I couldn't believe that when I first weighed myself post-birth - I was only 2 kilos lighter. She was a 3 kilo baby! Plus placenta and amniotic fluid etc?? Am now trying not to care...

Argh, back in hospital again with vomiting and bloody poo :(
Been put on Nutramigen and Ranitidine for the forseeable - I hope it works, as my poor Sprout is either sleeping or writhing in pain.
i'm so exhausted.

Ali I'm with you. Leggings, tracksuits, Bridget jones pants. I'm a walking fashion travesty!

tjuice I had the exact same thing. Couldn't work out why I only dropped from 82kgs to 79 when she was 7lb 3oz (apologies for mixing measurements!) but then supposedly have lost another 5kgs this week?! Weird....

Cali poor sprout... Sending you lots of healing thoughts ...

Oh Cali hope sprout better very soon

Fashion police would arrest me if I had the energy to actually leave the house! Pregnancy jeans or joggers with nursing tops and cardigans. Sad to say swelling in feet has gone so couls finally wear nice shoes again but haven't been out of my slippers