November 2011 - early birds, just in time and late to the party, all welcome!!

[TwoJackRussellsandapumpkin]

Hi all,

just starting up a post natal thread for all the due in November peeps on the antenatal forum and anyone else who would like to join in too, hoping to see my arrival by the end of the week, so officially an early bird I hope :)

snoozle I think they were trying to be supportive rather than judgemental, but by giving me a list of things to consider including sids if I started FF, I don't think they had really considered the impact of their words on an already bereaved mother. As if I don't check he is breathing multiple hundreds of times a day as it is. But there we are. We made our decision in the end, just agonised for a week I might risk his life; even though I know it is not that black and white. I was just sent into a total irrational meltdown. Its been a long time since I've gone a bit nutty.

Thanks for all the reassurance ladies.

pam the breathing monitor is a godsend for my sanity. Seeing the green light flashing if I happen to wake up in the night before Xander is so reassuring.

MrsA That is some epic birthstory. I'm so relieved for you that it all ended safely. I hope you have a case with the MW, how disgusting that she took your money but dumped you. Its despicable. Despite it all enjoy baby :)

Caz it's hard trying to strike the balance - I felt like I was poisoning Abi first few times I fed her formula but had to in the end - it was the only right thing for both of us.

MrsA Sue the IMW to hell and back. Sorry it didn't pan out as you wanted it to, but well done for making hard choices and getting through it all. I remember you talking about HB and how hospitals were great for those who needed them - I think this thread has had the full spectrum of births now!

We've had a rubbish day with food refusal and windy tantrums here only mitigated by Abi settling at a bottle this evening, and holding onto something and putting it in her mouth! We also managed to have dinner at the dining table with her sat in her bouncer making eyes at her dad.

Still have no idea how I'm going to manage doing DPs birthday party AND Christmas dinner with a Velcro baby.

Caz, maybe she just forgot? As the perpetrator of many a completely insensitive comment just because I spoke before I thought, I'm just wondering if she could have simply forgot where you'er coming from? I've not read the blog, so I dont know. Either way, I really liked the point htat, er, forgotten, someone made about if parents never slept with their babiesin bed, then 100% of cot deaths would happen in cots. Obviously there are risks, obviously you know what risk factors there are, but its all a matter of balancin gthose risks, the risk of sids, the risk of complete mental breakdown. Sorry you had to have such a tough time.
Mrs A. I confess I am intrigues about the midwife. Its just such bizzare behaviour. I mean, she MUST have done the work before, she must know how to be professional, what on earth was going on with her? I think you should make sure you do have the debriefing as it may help you process or at least get an understanding of what happened, cause right now its a mystery. Might be worth taping it or having a soicitor present or something ifyou are going to go down that route. Frankly if I'd behaved like that I'd be falling over myself to refund your money at least. I'm sorry the birth wasnt what you wanted, but very glad it was what it was, and you both came out of it safe. I had a very long labour of 17 hours true labour but 104 hours contractions with DS with no pain relief and can empathise with how exhausting and frightneing that can be. But as you say, you did it. You may not have been able to deliver him, but you certainly laboured with him!
Not hainvg a nice day - thanks for the tips about DD's cold tried steaming her, and we got a feed down her afterards, bless her. She's slept all day and is finally waking up and isnt happy about it. Unfortunatley I have a massive hadache adn even though the pain is now a bit mroe under control, the accompanying nausea, in combination with the vomit phobia, is proving problematic.
And tonight my DS fell asleep on me before I even got him upstairs. He didnt wake up when I changed his nappy and was so floppy while I put his pijamas on I had to hold his head up like DD's! Poor exhausted baby. he had just had a complete snot faced drooling sobbing cant breath meltdown because I had goen to the toilet and not let him come with me just before all this. He's finding having DD here so hard, poor thing. He's trying to be good but he's not happy. He's always been very very very clingy to mummy so it really must be a wrench for him. i think we're doing ok at making this as ok for him as possible but it doesnt seem to be enough.

MrsA I am so sorry you didn't get the birth you wanted. From the start of our antenatal thread it was always very clear just how deeply the birth mattered to you, and I was always impressed by your bravery and your determination to follow your own instincts. You have had such a traumatic time, but as you say, it was an unforseseen complication, and you did everything you could and in the end, thank goodness for modern medicine, and that you are here safe and well. But I can fully identify with your sadness at never having experienced a normal birth. But as for your independent midwife - that behaviour is shocking. Its bad enough to abandon you when you needed her, but to refuse to discuss it with you is something else altogether. I hope that at the very least you get your money back.

Flying visit to hug Mrs A I know just what you mean about the lingering sadness of never experiencing natural birth. I feel that too - but like you wouldn't swap the section I had given the circumstances we were in. And doing everything 'right' or so they say and it still goes tits up. Am so very glad you and DS are okay physically, and I'm glad you got some time in the pool though. It was the most wonderful part of my labour with DS, and helped me avoid gas and air til 7cms, before that too went wrong and ended in an emcs, PPH and time in HDU for me. He too was unbirthable - I nearly bled out because my poor body had pushed for so long against an imovable object. But I can't imagine how betrayed you must feel by your IM. I am appalled for you. We're all here for you Mrs anytime you want to vent.

Mrs A I have just read your birth story and I am shocked by the conduct of your IM. I am glad that you are seeking legal advice and I hope that you are able to talk to her and get some closure on the experience. I hope you are enjoying your LO and recuperating!

Here is a story to cheer you all up...

Yesterday, DS pooed on me.
I was changing his dirty nappy when he decided that he hadn't finished emptying his bowels and continued, and me being the silly mare that I am didn't re-fasten his nappy just let him go as he was laying on the nappy. Then... he scrunched up his little face and poo exploded in a gloriously hideous arc! So I took one for the team as the poo arch landed directly on my thigh (encased in the ONLY jeans that fit me... better not stain). I then squealed and cried as DP looked on in horror before taking over, then I got the extreme giggles.

Having said that, at least the poo hit me and not our lovely CREAM carpets!

I have never been so unimpressed with DS... I had to go to bed to recover!

Also, DS seem to have discovered his legs and now kicks the bottom of the moses basket and propels himself to the top

Feel a bit sorry for my mum as she doesn't get to see as much of DS as she would like due to full time work and having a 7 year old, we spent the day there yesterday and I didn't get a look in as she just doted on DS. Anyone else going through anything similar?

Perish had to smile at the poo story. I wraped little one in his blanket after his bath and was giving him a cuddle before putting on nappy and clothes. He managed to do massive poo which went through the towel and my trousers!

Managed to get the turkey yesterday and have wrapped up most of the presents but feel v unprepared for Christmas.

Poo stories yey!
Willow's personal best was at a recent hospital visit while she was dangerously naked waiting to be weighed. The little monkey pooed all over my jumper as i held her, and also hit a pristine NHS bed with crisp white sheets and the floor. I had to walk back to the bus in a skimpy vest... in Scotland... in December. She meanwhile had put on a fabulous 200g in 5 days - but it would have been even more if she'd held that explosion in!

Loving the poo stories; the only time M has poo'd out of a nappy was whilst we were still in hosp (day3 I think). She filled her nappy, I cleaned her up and & was about to put the clean nappy under & she pooped again, all over edge of nappy & bed - another clean nappy got out, cleaned her up again & repeat performance!! After 3 attempts I finally managed to get a clean nappy on the poop monster & it stayed clean the rest of the day!! I was just glad it was nhs sheets she dirtied, I didn't have to wash them :)
Last week when I got her weighed I lifted her off the scales & she wee'd everywhere...mat, table, floor & down my legs!!

I've been pretty lucky. Dd currently has only shown her daddy how much she loves him by pooing in him twice.

My mum has been superb, she has taken all our ironing and every bit comes back on hangers even my pjs! She has cooked pies and casseroles for us. She absolutely loves Dd and I love my mum even more for that. She is such a star so thank you mum xxxxxxxx

Well DS2 is my third child - prior to him there had never been a poo in the bath but this LO has done it twice already! He has also shot poo a full metre across our bathroom during a nappy change much to DD's horror who was shouting Mummy help me!

MrsA another one truly shocked at your IM's behaviour & thanking the NHS for getting you & your LO safely. I have 3 beautiful children but have only experienced less than 50 contractions (with DS1), let alone a natural birth. I do feel sad never to have done it 'properly' but after DD reconciled myself to the fact that my body wasn't really up to birthing babies so actually I am very happy that modern medicine allowed me to safely have my wonderful family.

Caz as others have said it's hard to really know what to rink when research is quoted without either seeing it or understanding the sample group - I think it would be very difficult to isolate formula feeding away from other risk factors. I am also giving a bedtime bottle of whatever I've expressed that day topped up with formula - & since making the decision to use some formula I am actually getting more when I express probably as I am obsessing less about it. As with all baby stuff it is a case of taking a holistic view of our whole little family and finding a way that is right for us. I hope your wobble is subsiding & you find a way of enjoying Christmas as a Mummy of your two beautiful babies.

Abi projectile pooped on her dad while a paed. was examining her - hilarious.

She's right now curled up on her uncle's chest snoozling away. Aww.

I'd forgotten Willow's pooing prowess from the nicu - she once hit the bottom of her incubator, and later, when she was in a Belfast cot, a wall! Apparently its a premmie thing, lift their legs during a nappy change and watch them go!!
Alicat you're so right, am so thankful to live in the right century, and in a country with a truly wonderful free healthcare system that means i have my Willow.

Funny you should say that ali - since I've stopped putting pressure on myself to express a specific amount I'm getting far more again. 9fl oz in two sittings a few days ago!! Averaging 4floz again when I express now, like you said obsessing about it less. Isn't it funny what stress does to our bodies!

Feeling fine about it all now; it was definitely the right decision for us.

still feeling wobbly in general but I know it is the mixed up christmas build up, I'll calm down very soon. I know that this build up is far worse than the actual day and despite it all I'm really looking forward to xander's first christmas. Must wrap dh and xanders presents tonight, I'm normally finished by now. everything is so much slower with a baby! hope dh finishes early today to help!

Loving the poo stories. I've been spared poo on me so far (although he has pooed in the bath once), wee on the other hand is almost daily!

I too have been pooed on more times than I care to remember, but at least it has been in my own house. When DD was newborn she pooed all over DH and down his leg in the back of the car - it was our first trip out and we had gone to the seaside for a walk. How I laughed !!! The shoe is on the other foot now though, as DS saves his poo for me .....

Apparently the Madela Swing pump is half price at Tesco at the mo:

forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=3688187

Luke has pooed in the bath several times much to the disgust of his 2 big brothers who were sharing it with him!

We are all wrapped up and ready for Christmas here - poor Luke has nothing from us - I've told the boys you don't get anything from Santa until you've been here a full year as they both still believe in him (6&9). So exciting but their behaviour is getting a bit giddy - too much chocolate and not enough exercise at the mo!

I recall DS magically pooing straight through his nappy and romper suit as if they werent even there when sitting on my friends knee- my friend who was wearing horribly expensive jeans and about to go out. He was very good about it. Mind you, hasnt visited since....
DD however is currently day three with no poop. When do I worry? DS went through a phase of doing one every seven days and dear God was it a poo. My word. When it started we just used to sit him on our laps on some plastic bags or the changing mats and wait it out, there was no containing it.
DS's behaviour is also a bit crazy, but it has been since DD was born. He's not doing brill with adjusting to it to be honest. He generally hasnt been good at adjusting to anything which compromises constand and undivided attention from mummy. Its been quite problematic. No idea what to do about it. I wonder if its cause I feel ill a lot and often not brilliantly able to cope with him and so he feels a bit insecure.

As weird as it sounds, I think we may have teeth-off. Pants.

just are BF or FF?? BF babies can go a few days without going as they absorb most of the milk & have minimal waste. FF should go every other day otherwise may become constipated & find it hard to go!!

M slept through the night last night :) prob just a one off as she also slept most of yesterday being snotty & coughing lots!! My boobs though aren't to happy with the sleep through!!

Just popping on to wish everyone a very Merry Christmas - hope you all have a lovely time with your little ones.

Enjoy it - it's all about the kids here and they are certainly ready for it!!

MERRY CHRISTMAS! Hope all of you have a lovely Christmas with your families and LOs. Also hope that Santa brings you lovely things for being such wonderful mummies!

Merry Christmas everyone, who DOESN'T have a stupid cute baby Xmas outfit to hand!

That's weird bump, I heard the same logic re poo / bf / ff used the other way round - bf babies might poo at every feed because they absorb what they need so efficiently whereas ff babies keep the milk in their systems longer to absorb what they want. Midwives eh!
I know what you mean about boobs though. Blake quite regularly sleeps 6 or 7 hours but I'm awake in agony after 5.

Happy Christmas eve all!
mrsA just read your birth story, sorry it didn't go as you wanted but thank goodness, like you say, your body knew it couldn't handle it and that's why it didn't work out. At least you both got through it safe. Very bizarre and totally out of line behaviour from your IM...hope you get the explanation from her, you deserve that at the very least!
caz sorry about the comment from that person on your blog, very insensitive given what you've been through and everyone has made some very good points re the various SIDS risks and how subjective research can be depending on how it's been carried out.
just E goes every 2-3 days and it's always one massive poo which always leaks (she is ff)..we've just gone up a nappy size so hoping that will help contain although I'm getting good at spotting the signs and doing a bit of a nappy switch to catch half of it in a second nappy, it does tend to go everywhere though but at least I can save the clothes if I catch it in time!
Well for the 2nd night running E ate at 10pm, had half an hour gurgling and settling herself off to sleep in Moses basket and then slept through to 7am...thought thurs night might have been a one off but since same happened last night I'm hoping it could be a new thing! Of course the first night I woke up a lot to check her but last night slept like a log...bliss!
Hope you all have a lovely Xmas with your new additions...I'm just trying to explain to E the importance of the polar express as a Xmas film... She doesn't seem bothered so guess I'll just have to watch it on my own!!

Happy Christmas everyone, hope all the babies have a lovely first Christmas.

I have got DD down to bed, and we are relaxing with a drink and the Outnumbered Christmas special. Later we'll get all Santa's stuff ready - have scolded DH repeatedly as she has him wrapped round her little finger and I feel Santa has got her far too much but hey, he is the earner in our house and he is sensible with money, so if he says its fine, its fine! But, in fairness to her, she wrote a letter to Santa on behalf of DS, asking for a baby gym and a little teddy bear, and Santa has obliged.

Hope you all have a lovely Christmas. x